no-well-yeah-a-little

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i miss you tumblr :(

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so many ways to vent yet i keep most things to myself

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why am i the way i am ??

i cant be different i need medication i need sedation i need to be better

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hiiiiiiiii tumblr

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i really need some validation rn

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i know these things aren’t important, i just want you to know

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i get so excited to do random things. random things help me forget how much i miss you.

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i am going to Kill My Self. i hope my boyfriend knows i love him

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i’m such a loser. pretentious. if only ppl knew how bad it is. so much for writing fake fucking poetry, i barely tap the surface. wish it came naturally. i wish one fucking thing came naturally. i have nothing special about me. nothing.

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早見純 (Jun Hayami)

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love bomb me til i die bro

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tw: ed, self harm

my face is too square and ugly and fat

my hands are too small and thin and gross

my thighs are too big

and my rib cage too wide

fat

ugly

disgusting

it’d be easier to cut

but easy was never my friend

it’d be easier to love myself

to forget to hate everything about me

but easy was never my friend

so, eat nothing

work out every day

become bones

become underweight

die

and become forgotten

like everything else i once loved about me.

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i wish i wasn’t so insecure

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why doesn’t anyone ever appreciate anything i do

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“subjective”

all i’ve ever wanted to be is pretty

gorgeous

pretty enough to make everyone stare.

“look at her”

“wow”

“what a girl”

but really, is anyone ever pretty?

everyone is fake, aren’t they?

makeup, surgery, bra stuffing,

fake fake fake.

can i ever really be pretty without being fake?

it takes a natural beauty for that. it takes a tiny waist and a roundish (but not fat),

thin (but not long)

face for that.

it takes perfect breasts

and perfect hands

and perfect hair

and a perfect toothy smile with clear skin

for something like a natural beauty.

beauty, so they say, is subjective.

subjective?

you must be joking.

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Frank after writing that stupid fucking butter in your mitts line

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Show me who you are on the inside…really? Me too. We’re so alike, where did you grow up? NO FUCKING WAY! A small town? That’s so weird; no one ever listens to me either. Wow. What a small world (exclamation point) LOL. We should be friends, what’s your number? Wanna hang out sometime? Are you on Myfriendsmakeoutspace-ster (fuckeachotherfuckeachotherfuckeachother) club? Me too. Wanna fuck? I’m just like you. Can I borrow your car? Live at your house? Eat your pets? Kill your parents? We’re so perfect together, (for each other)…opportunity is knocking do you hear it? BANGBANG. I wrote song about you, it has 25 different parts that don’t belong together. I scream and cry and there’s no melody whatsoever, you’ll love it, listen to it every day…until all your friends like it too, then you’ll say it sucks and call me a sellout. Do you wanna get matching tattoos, have the same haircut, go steady, and just be friends so we can fuck everyone else who looks like us, thinks like us, and feels like us too? Fuck, look at me, look at me, right here, right in my fucking eyes. Can you see it? No? Look closer then. How about now? No? Maybe it’s the atrocious lighting in here. Wait let me take a crooked picture with my hair in my face while I cut your name into my thigh. Do you see it now? You don’t see anything? Nothing at all? Are you sure? Positive? Weird, me either, small fucking world huh? -F.T. WillZ 06