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[nockeddown]

PROMPTS FROM SHREK *  assorted dialogue from the 2001 film, adjust as necessary

what's that? it's hideous!

well, that's not very nice.

some of you may die... but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make.

whoa, look at that! who'd want to live in a place like that?

that would be my home.

you know, you're really quite the decorator. it's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget.

i like that boulder. that is a nice boulder.

man, this would be so much easier if i wasn't color-blind.

we can stay up late, swapping manly stories.

in the morning, i'm making waffles.

where are you going? the exit's over there!

i have to save my ass.

what kind of a knight are you?

for your information, there's a lot more to me than people think.

you know what else everybody likes? parfaits!

you dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden!

parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

hey, don't look at me! i didn't invite them!

we were forced to come here.

hey, what's your problem? what do you have against the whole world, anyway?

look, i'm not the one with the problem, okay?

it's the world that seems to have a problem with me.

they judge me before they even know me.

that's why i'm better off alone.

you're a monster!

i'm not the monster here, you are!

now tell me, where are the others?

my patience has reached its end.

all right then! who's hiding them?

two things okay? shut... up.

do you think he's maybe compensating for something?

so where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck, anyway?

i was talking about the dragon.

men of his stature are in short supply.

hey, where are you going? oh man. i can't feel my toes.

i think i need a hug.

doesn't that bother you?

man, i like you. what's your name?

celebrity marriages. they never last, do they?

it's on my to-do list!

you didn't slay the dragon?

that's not the point!

all right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

you're afraid of your own feelings!

i heard the two of you talking!

man, that was annoying.

oh... oh this is all my fault.

you can't do this to me, [name]! i'm too young for you to die!

turn your head and cough!

believe me, if it was me, you'd be dead.

we must be getting close.

why didn't he come to rescue me?

you're not making my job any easier.

you love this woman, don't you?

i don't want to rush into a physical relationship.

you may remove your helmet, good sir knight.

let's just say, i'm not your type.

this is the part where you run away.

does that sound good to you?

you look... uh... different.

it only happens when the sun goes down.

i didn't know you wrote poetry.

only the true love's kiss can break the spell.

i guess you don't, uh... entertain much, do you?

can i stay with you... please?

[nockeddown]

Hot Coffee, Mojave Desert, 1937. Edward Weston. Gelatin silver print.

[nockeddown]

@analyticallyminded  ➲  " how are you still alive right now ? "

yeah , okay . this one's bad . not 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗧 , by any stretch of the imagination , but he's gonna need more than a bag of frozen succotash to feel even remotely human .  

❝  pretty sure god just doesn't wanna deal with MY SHIT , either .  ❞  bold of him to assume he's heading north at the end of this road trip , sure , but he has to hope after everything he's at least landed at a net positive .

he winces at the familiar sting of antiseptic . BIG BABY .  ❝  gotta say , you're a lot better at this than i am .  ❞

[nockeddown]

[nockeddown]

@interplanet  ➲  ❝ fuck , maybe i’m an asshole . ❞

clint can't pin down the 𝙀𝙓𝘼𝘾𝙏 𝙈𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 when his apartment became the go - to spot to have an existential crisis , but he's too tired to question it .

why too tired ?

because apparently PETER QUILL has his existential crises at the absolute ass - crack of dawn . clint had only eeked out a couple hours of sleep between calling it a night and the knock on his front door .

❝  aw , welcome to the club , buddy .  ❞   clint slides a steaming mug of coffee across the bar top . the pot , he keeps for himself , decidedly not thinking about whether it's too early or too late for caffeine .  ❝  we're fresh out of T - SHIRTS , though .  ❞

[nockeddown]

HALLOWMEME

send one in for a Halloween starter! 

“ What are you going to be for Halloween? “ 

“ Suggesting going into a graveyard in the middle of the night is exactly how countless horror movies start. “

“ I am not going to remake no ‘children of the corn’ shit with you. Go into that corn maze on your own. “

“ Look at how big that pumpkin is! “ 

“ Lets go on a hay ride! “ 

“ Do we really have to dress up in matching outfits? “ 

“ Yes we have to dress up in matching outfits! “ 

“ Dunking for apples is a basic part of the Halloween party experience. You gotta do it. “ 

“ Run like Jason is chasing you!!! “ 

“ What do you mean I’m too old for trick - or - treating? “ 

“ Stop eating all the candy! “ 

“ Don’t go to that house, they give out raisins. “ 

“ Who gives out dental floss on Halloween? “ 

“ I’m freezing my balls off out here! “ 

“ I don’t know why they think this particular job needs to have a sexy version ... “ 

“ Damn I make this costume look good! “ 

“ ... That’s some pretty realistic makeup ... are you sure you’re not hurt? “ 

“ Let’s stay in and watch scary movies instead “ 

“ I remember the haunted house being a lot more scary than this. “ 

“ I don’t really like scary things ... can we just do the fun cute things for Halloween instead? “ 

“ Oh god there’s another clown... “ 

“ We should go trick - or - treating in Colorado ... I bet they hand out weed! “ 

“ Put that Ouija Board down right now or so help me! “ 

“ Trying to talk to spirits is about the last thing on my list of fun things to do tonight. “

“ If you wake up haunted its not my fault. “ 

“ That’s not funny! You scared me half to death! “ 

“  The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward. “

[nockeddown]

Reunions

when it's been a while

"you missed so much!"

"it's been such a long time!"

"[name]? is that really you?"

"you're still as ugly as ever."

"you look well."

"i thought you died!"

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

"i missed you so, so much."

"you .. are you really here?"

"oh. it's you."

"what happened to you?"

"where have you been?

""why did you just disappear?"

"you look like shit."

"this is impossible."

"i don't believe you."

"it can't be you."

"why did you avoid my calls?"

"we've been looking for you!"

"we needed you. and you weren't there."

"you could have said something."

"hey stranger."

"how have you been holding up without me?"

"i'm back now."

"hey, it's okay. i'm not leaving again."

"don't freak out."

"i'm right here."

"i need you to come with me."

"how did you survive without me?"

"just let me explain."

[nockeddown]

"How. . .?" Starters

"How does this go together?"

"How are you still alive right now?"

"How did you get to be so cute?"

"How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me?"

"How are we going to get there?"

"How much did you pay for that?"

"How do you take your coffee?"

"How could you do this to me?"

"How many times did you get stung?"

"How often are you feeding it?"

"How did they die?"

"How about sushi for dinner?"

"How do I turn it off?"

"How did you figure that out so fast?"

"How do you like your eggs?"

"How are we supposed to climb this?"

"How did you get here?"

"How do we get inside?"

"How much weight can this thing handle?"

"How long will it take to cook?"

"How low can you go?"

"How far is it from here?"

"How many push up can you do?"

"How does an internal combustion engine work?"

"How did you get your hair like that?"

"How am I supposed to live without you?"

"How much candy did you get?"

"How many marshmallows can you fit in your mouth?"

"How can you trust them after everything they put you through?"

"How long will you be gone?"

[nockeddown]

clint almost doesn't notice he's the only one still running . 𝘼𝙇𝙈𝙊𝙎𝙏 . boots skid to a stop , the archer nearly being bullied back into motion by the wave of people all rushing away from the same place he's running from .

was running from . now , he's standing like a futzing moron amidst a surge of retreating bodies and seeking out the FLASH OF RED that's supposed to be right on his heels . he finds his target , hands patting over the many utility pouches and hidden pockets of the red suit .

❝  what are you doing ? we're RUNNING AWAY from the goons with guns , remember ?  ❞  

@mercred  ➲  the map ! i forgot the map !

a painfully vivid image of a little black flash drive still in the tower of a computer flashes in clint's brain . he cycles with RECORD - BREAKING SPEED through the five stages of grief , mourning their clean getaway and most likely several bags of frozen vegetables that will have to give their lives to the bruises he's definitely gonna have now .

❝  well ... 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧 . let's go get it before my sense of self - preservation kicks back online .  ❞

[nockeddown]

if ur wondering what the fuck is wrong with me imagine how i feel

[nockeddown]

&. 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  sentence  starters  of  various  quotes  that  can  be  said  from  the  hero.  looking  for  the  villain  version?  click  here.  )

❛ there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. ❜

❛ just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. ❜

❛ i can’t do this. but even if i can’t, i have to. ❜

❛ i just wish i could protect you from everything. ❜

❛ when did the dragon ever die from the poison of a snake? ❜

❛ experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. ❜

❛ do you need a reason to not want to lose? ❜

❛ i did what i had to do to give you the only chance at peace you’ll ever get. ❜

❛ heroes are made by the paths they choose, not by the powers they are graced with. ❜

❛ if all you do is look down on people, then you won’t be able to see your own weaknesses. ❜

❛ when the enemy becomes certain of their victory, that will be our chance. ❜

❛ name one hero who was happy. ❜

❛ it’s never too late to do the right thing. ❜

❛ there’s still good in you. i know. i’ve felt it. ❜

❛ you trusted me, so then i’ll trust you too. ❜

❛ everyone has a part of themselves they hide, even from those they love most. ❜

❛ i survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. ❜

❛ we have to be greater than what we suffer. ❜

❛ hope is the only thing stronger than fear. ❜

❛ don’t worry, i can handle this. ❜

❛ you call yourself a villain? ❜

❛ their blood is on you. you killed them. ❜

❛ you don’t get to forget. whatever you did, you don’t deserve to forget. ❜

❛ there’s still time for you to change your mind. ❜

❛ i don’t think i can be the hero you deserve. ❜

❛ i’m always picking up after you boys. ❜

❛ let me show you how a real hero does it. ❜

❛ i am trying to do the job that you were meant to do. ❜

❛ the fact that you are here is proof that whatever tried to beat you lost. ❜

❛ i don’t judge people on their worst mistakes. ❜

❛ there’s nothing crueler than letting a dream end midway. ❜

❛ we each survive in our own way. ❜

❛ i thought maybe they’d realize that they need me. ❜

❛ what would i fight for if i wasn’t fighting for you? ❜

❛ you’re still a hero even if you only save one person. ❜

❛ i know under all that rage is a beating heart. ❜

❛ it doesn’t need to end like this. ❜

❛ i’ll never lose, and i’ll never die. ❜

❛ maybe i failed this time, but i’m not giving up. ❜

❛ with you by my side, i feel like i can do anything. ❜

❛ enjoy your win. it’ll never happen again. ❜

❛ what makes you think i’ll go easy on you? ❜

❛ let’s fuck some shit up is my legal middle name. ❜

❛ i’m not the hero you think i am. ❜

❛ they can’t do this to me. I was supposed to win ❜

❛ you can come back. i’ll bring you back. we’re in this together. ❜

❛ you’re special. you were born to do great things. ❜

❛ we can be heroes just for one day. ❜

❛ everyone’s got good and bad in them, it’s up to us how we use it. ❜

❛ it’s alright, you could never hurt me. ❜

❛ i refuse to let my fear control me anymore. ❜

[nockeddown]

well ... 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬'𝗥𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗 . not dead is good . not dead and not injured would have been better , but since when has clint ever been that lucky ?

he shouldn't complain . maybe all his luck for the day went into disabling the explosive that definitely would have leveled the entire city block . hell , that might have used up all of BOTH THEIR LUCK . when he thinks about it that way , the aching ribs and sprained shoulder don't feel like such a bad draw .

today's partner - in - unexpected - heroism takes a seat at the countertop as clint pours a mug of coffee for each of them . is nine in the evening too late for coffee ?

   𝙉𝘼𝙃 .

@interplanet  ➲  ❝ ’m going to sit , and sip this , and grin , and very silently have a mild nervous breakdown about what just went down . ❞

clint sinks gingerly onto the nearby threadbare couch , managing not to spill coffee from his mug or drop the ice pack balanced precariously on his aching shoulder .  

❝  funny . that was sorta my plan , except i'm gonna sit , CHUG THIS and maybe pass out for a bit .  ❞

[nockeddown]

it's a 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗧 morning . steaming coffee in hand , fresh kolache in a paper bag tucked into his backpack for later . he can't even complain about the company ; barnes is downright pleasant today ( not that clint would be caught dead saying as much ) .

clint barely avoids a collision with a civilian running VERY QUICKLY in the opposite direction . weird on its own , but then there's another . and another . a glance at barnes , and the other's dark brows are furrowed in a distinctive ,  ❛  i've got a bad feeling about this ,  ❜  kind of way .

well shit ... clint was hoping it was JUST HIM .

@readapt  ➲  ‘ do they know something we don't ? ’

clint tries to find the source of the oncoming stampede , but best he can tell they seem to be coming from around the corner a few blocks up .

bad day to leave his bow and arrows at home .

❝  i usually assume somebody always knows something i don't . that way either i'm right , or i'm 𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙇𝙔 𝙎𝙐𝙍𝙋𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙀𝘿 .  ❞

[nockeddown]

Edit Requests: Clint Barton for @douglaseiffels

"Aw, coffee, no."

[nockeddown]

looking back , there are times clint really wishes he 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛 𝗦𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗟 . or went to high school in the first place .

see , the problem with graduating from the SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS is that advanced physics and engineering was definitely not on the curriculum . how does that factor in to clint's present predicament ?

it might've been nice to have a basic understanding of what the hell he was trying to describe to the S.H.I.E.L.D. SCIENTIST . something a little better than ,  ❛  it looked shiny and metallic and had a weird blue glow like a bug zapper .  ❜

what he does know is there were way too many bad guys with guns guarding it for it to be anything good .

@analyticallyminded  ➲  can you look me in the eye and guarantee me that this isn't all some kind of flimflam ?

clint stifles a snort at the unusual word choice . been a while since he heard that particular word used in a sentence , and he's definitely never heard it in a british accent .

focus , clint .

❝  honestly ? no . but for what it's worth , i'm kind of an expert in 𝙁𝙇𝙄𝙈𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈. also have some prior experience in hogwash and tomfoolery , in case it comes up later .  ❞

[nockeddown]

critical role c2e4-5 starters

a collection of sentence starters from campaign two of critical role, ranging from silly to more serious ones!! feel free to change pronouns at will, or mash some together for different meanings!!

❝ I know, dear. You’ve been through a bit. ❞ ❝ We’ll try really hard to not let you see us. ❞ ❝ We just need to take care of each other. ❞ ❝ Sorry for choking you with my stick. ❞ ❝ Thank you! I would kiss you if I could. ❞ ❝ There’s nothing wrong with being alone. ❞ ❝ Thought I was doing you a favor by leaving. ❞ ❝ He made me look like an asshole. ❞ ❝ Fuck, maybe I’m an asshole. ❞ ❝ Maybe you’re an asshole. ❞ ❝ You probably are an asshole. That’s all right, because so am I. ❞ ❝ Sometimes you need someone to be an asshole to get shit done. ❞ ❝ Oh god, I’m sorry. I have this burn in my butt from all the smoke you just blew up my ass. ❞ ❝ Is that what I have to look forward to? ❞ ❝ I kind of want to fucking punch you back. ❞ ❝ Why are you doing this? Why me? ❞ ❝ I don’t know if that bone’s supposed to be sticking out of that part. ❞ ❝ What happened to you? ❞ ❝ Is this one of those dreams where nobody has their clothes on? ❞ ❝ I’m not a hero. It’s more like a vigilante. ❞ ❝ We are totally coming back and not leaving on our own undercover. ❞ ❝ I’ll try anything once. ❞ ❝ I’m not going to kill you. ❞ ❝ I love flowers, did you get me any? ❞ ❝ I wouldn’t say I won, because I lost. ❞ ❝ These donuts are not that old. ❞ ❝ I’m flexible, but not that flexible. ❞ ❝ I’m pretty flexible. ❞ ❝ I don’t want to rob you of the joy of climbing a tree. ❞ ❝ I’ve never climbed a tree before. ❞ ❝ Have you ever seen an unicorn? ❞ ❝ What is it like being in your head? ❞ ❝ Oh, I’m so proud of you! ❞ ❝ We need to calm down and go back to bed. ❞ ❝ I thought we were all going to die. ❞ ❝ You want to go cow-tipping, don’t you? ❞ ❝ It’s vaguely what I imagine a buffalo would look like. ❞ ❝ You taste like a seaman. ❞ ❝ I had a dream, I’m sorry. A vivid one. ❞ ❝ I’ll be fine, really. ❞ ❝ Are there benefits to pickling your weapons? ❞ ❝ I do like pickles. ❞ ❝ I’m trying to be as forthright as I can. ❞ ❝ I’m good at figuring things out. I’m clever. ❞ ❝ Do you think you’re slowly turning into water? ❞ ❝ I hadn’t considered that terrifying thought, but thanks. ❞ ❝ I don’t really remember my dreams all that well. ❞ ❝ You just hurt them until they die. ❞ ❝ I feel really bad for saying that out loud. ❞ ❝ I’m going to sit, and sip this, and grin, and very silently have a mild nervous breakdown about what just went down. ❞

[nockeddown]

clint 𝙁𝙐𝙏𝙕𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝘼𝙏𝙀𝙎 fighting robots . humans have squishy bits , lots of them . hell , humans are practically one big squishy bit . ( clint's medical records would attest to that ) but robots ? a couple vulnerable points here and there , but he burns through shock arrows like they're going out of business .

and those parts ain't cheap .

he's collecting a spent one from one of their FALLEN FERROUS FOES — that's right , hawkeye's been hitting the books again — when it bolts upright .

clint barely has time to eek out an undignified noise he'll definitely deny making later before the iron frame is crushed back to the pavement by a green blur .

@roquish  ➲  ❝  oh my god , i hate it when these things do that .  ❞

okay ... he might've just peed a little . nothing like an oversized KITCHEN APPLIANCE from hell popping up to take one last swing to get the adrenaline going .

❝  not bad enough we gotta fight them in the first place , they get to pop up with the 𝗟𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗬 jump scare .  ❞  he tucks the pilfered shaft back into the quiver at his back and tries to will his heart to stop dancing in his chest before adding ,  ❝  thanks for that . death by robotic bitch slap isn't how i feel like going out .  ❞