nofoxgivcn - Tumblr blog

[nofoxgivcn]

He wished it was him. She didn't deserve it, Judy was the last person that deserved to be lost out here, confused, worried death was right around the corner, the days dragging on the same way they had for him but without a roof over her head. Nick, I was so scared. It felt like a dagger straight to his heart, a pain strong enough it was nauseating. Nick had never knew how strongly he could hurt for someone else. When all of those shifters went missing, he couldn't put himself in their loved one's shoes, not the way Judy had been able to. He didn't have that sort of empathy, he couldn't care so deeply about anyone but himself. He had never had someone to miss, not really. He had never had anyone to worry about.

The tears she thumbed away were replaced just as quickly, allowing himself to feel to he full extent of not just his own emotions, his guilt and his pain, but theirs too. The fear that mut have been crippling, the hope like a light slowly dimming, just waiting for it to fade out completely. And for Judy, of all people, the most glass-half-full kind of person he'd ever met. The world hadn't ruined them yet. Nuzzling against her touch, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to focus on the mental image of them walking circles, frightened, calling out for him as far out of his mind as possible. Reminding himself that she was here now. She was with him now.

"You got hurt," he whispered, forcing the words out around the lump in his throat, "and I wasn't there." That was reason enough to be sorry. He was supposed to protect them, he was supposed to carry the weight of it all; he was already scarred.

He was supposed to be the one comforting them too, now, but their next words only brought a fresh wave of tears. To mean so much to someone, to be the one thing that kept them hanging on. Nick had always wondered what that must be like. He was the apple of his mother's eye, only because he had to be, he was all that she had. And maybe that was the case for Judy as well, but it was different. She had chosen him, in spite of all of his flaws and his stubbornness and all of the reasons he had been written off before, even when he had tried to push her away, even when he was a smart ass. And he had chose her. Somewhere along the way, she had wormed her way right into his heart, and he would have to rip it out to rid himself of her.

There was a time when Nick wondered what would happen if the gates to Evermore ever magically opened up. If they were given the choice to leave, Judy would take it, she would follow the path right back to the world they knew in spite of all of its flaws as well... and she would make it a better place. And for awhile, a part of him, a very strong part, considered staying in this world without her, where people didn't scowl at his name or turn the other way when they saw him coming, a world where he had the chance to be someone he wanted to be. But he knew now, after just sixty days of that life staring right at him — he would follow them anywhere. He would rather be his flawed self with them than a version that he didn't hate with anyone else.

He wasn't sure how long he held them, silently, his arms just tight enough to avoid choking them out, reminding himself over and over again that she was here now. He would never let her get hurt again. He would never let her be lost, afraid. Nick would turn over every single rock in this town, he would shatter the walls of this dimension, he would do whatever it would take... for both of their sakes.

Some time after the tears stopped, he managed to convince himself to pull back again, only because he realized she must be hungry. She must want to get home, to take a shower, change her clothes, eat something, curl up on a warm, soft bed that wasn't made of the forest floor. "You think you were lost without me?" He asked, a hint of a smile finally tugging at his lips, the guilt not gone by any means... but soothed. He knew that Judy would be okay with him — in a situation where she wasn't stuck and in need of rescue, anyway. Her life would be brilliant, she would achieve her dreams and become the best version of herself, but him? Nick was realizing he needed them a hell of a lot more than he had initially thought.

"I missed you so goddamn much you had me eating carrots, Carrots."

at his question, their lower lip quivered, feeling his shame before he truly voiced it laced within the syllables of what he asked her. her gaze fell, drifting over to the bush, a chill clambering up her spine like her vertebrate were no more than ladder rungs. air felt scarce again, and she sipped it through pursed lips, shaking her head. " i was but . . . i wasn't. i don't — i don't know where i was. just — it was all woods. woods that went on for miles and miles i. . . " her chin dropped to her sternum, face scrunching, as if voicing what she had experienced was as painful as what she endured itself. " i was beginning to feel like it'd never end. that'd i'd die alone out there. i was — fuck, nick, i was so scared." a curse, brash and foreign on her tongue, wielded like a spear to the memories that began to come flooding back like a tidal wave. her hands moved to his shoulders, fisting the material of his shirt between dirt-stained fingers, her entire frame shuddering with each starved breath she took in — sips turning to gulps turning to gasps.

his apology forced her head to whip up, guilt swimming in the water that filled her eyes, and she saw it — she saw the blame he cast upon himself. the droop of his brows, the downward curve of his lips, the way his tears were falling as silent as the world around them; pain swelling behind her ribs and forcing them outwards, pressing against the flesh that encased them. " nick — no . . . no no no , " judy pleaded, moving to brush the tears from his face but her hands couldn't move fast enough to catch them all, shaking her head. hair clung to her cheeks, drinking in the moisture that dampened them, moving to cup his face once more and force him to hold her gaze.

" you have nothing to be sorry for , " words came out creaking, cracking at the ends — not in an effort to dampen their truth but to almost emphasize it. " nothing. i — i know you wouldn't have let me stay out here on purpose. it isn't . . . it isn't your fault, nicholas. it isn't. i promise. " judy felt their own sobs crawling back up her throat, just when they had thought they had finally been quelled. . . she hiccuped, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks, feeling the heat of his form beneath her and knowing it to be as solid as stone. " i'm sorry i made you worry so much. i . . . i really tried to find you. i tried everything. the woods they just — " she sucked in a breath, moving a hand from his face only to wipe the back of it across her own, smearing scarlet and salt like oil and water across hollowed cheeks. " they never ended. the trees never stopped. i walked in circles and — and the only thing that kept me going was finding you." trying to get it together, judy sniffed, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck once more, wrapping him in a tight hug to the point where if she were even half as strong as he was, she'd strangle him. " i missed you so much. i was so lost without you."

[nofoxgivcn]

This was not something that could be undone. This was baring his soul in a way he had tried to avoid for so long, facing the very thing that he ran from head on. "Okay," Nick spoke, his tongue swiping his bottom lip, feeling just about as dry as his throat did. "Okay," he said again, but he still didn't move, only realizing as his eyes fell to his hands that they were beginning to shake. She said that he didn't have to, but she didn't understand, he did. He had to. For himself. It was so lonely, hiding so much of him away from everyone but Judy. If anyone else was going to get it, if there was any hope at all that someone could understand... she was staring right at him. And if she couldn't love him, then he would know. He would no longer have to wonder if there was any hope for acceptance for him, he would know.

"Sorry. I'm stalling, it's just..." He shook his head, letting the sentence trail into nothingness. He couldn't explain it, there was no way to explain it.

With a shaky breath and one last glance at her, to remember the way that she looked at him without hatred and fear and disgust, just in case — he found the smallest ounce of bravery amongst the claustrophobic feeling hanging over him and he did it; he willed himself to shift, to change form and shrink in front of her, the anticipation slowing time, every millisecond like a minute until he was a wide-eyed, trembling fox in the middle of the room staring up at her.

the air in the room seemed to shift — save for the shift that had already come with the introduction of her frost — but it felt like the wood below her feet was beginning to ebb and flow like the rolling ocean beneath her. the fae's stomach turned, the flurries coming from her fingers sharpening into pellets of ice that landed like small rocks into her palm. halting her actions, her eyes moved to nick's, concern and apprehension dancing a waltz in seas of blue. " come clean ?? " she echoed, unease making her tuck her arms back into herself, burrowing deep into the sweatshirt she wore as a crease formed between her brows. come clean — that could be about anything . . . but given the size of the confession she had made, peri couldn't help the amalgamation of dread and excitement that began to twist in her sternum.

taking a step back , not from fear but from wanting to give him space , peri's light brows rose on her forehead. " okay uh, i thought my reveal was dramatic but . . . you're really trying to outdo me , aren't you ?? " peri joked, trying to keep things light , but her pulse was beating like a war drum in her throat. softening her expression , she gave him a smile , burying the tips of frost-bitten fingers into her own sides. " you can trust me nick and . . . and i get it. you don't — you don't have to show me anything just because i did , you know ?? i didn't — i wasn't trying to pressure you or anything. " her teeth rolled along her lower lip, and her gaze momentarily drifted, but when it returned, she gave him a small nod of encourage. " — but if you want to show me , i won't judge you. i promise. "

[nofoxgivcn]

How many times had he teased her, poked fun at her, for her tears? You bunnies are so emotional. But now it was him, he realized only when she pulled away, that was crying. The sobs weren't violent, not the kind that shook your lungs and choked you on the way out; it was a silent ache, salt spilling from his eyes, painting a path down his jawline. As tightly as he'd held onto his hope, Nick wasn't sure that he'd ever seen them again. Part of him felt like a fool, like he should have known that it was too good to be true. If she would not leave him on her own, some other force would take her away from him, the one person that would never let him rot in his loneliness. Perhaps he had pissed fate off somehow, perhaps it was karma for all of the people he'd screwed over just trying to get by... but she was here now.

"I don't think so," he whispered, not bothering to blink the moisture away; it was too late to hide it. He wouldn't be sure himself, if he couldn't hear his own heartbeat in his ears, feel their pulse in their fingertips as the trailed over his face. But would it be such a bad thing, he wondered? If they were dead, he couldn't find a reason to particularly care. He'd rather be dead with them than alive without them, and he did not have to think about it, to dwell on the choice to know that. He would follow them to the ends of the Earth and beyond. His eyes locked on theirs, he refused to blink, taking in the sight of them; dirty and tattered and hurt, but here. She was here.

She was here.

"Tell me you haven't been here the whole time," he whispered, their words hitting him then, draining the color from is face. You found me. As if she'd just been curled up here, waiting for him, and he had failed. He hadn't known. He had expected them to come back, he had expected someone else to trace her down, knowing no one else would know to look for a bunny. No one else would scour the woods for an animal so small it could fit in the palms of their hands. How could he have expected anyone to bring Judy back to him? It was his job. His job to find them, his job to keep them safe.

"Oh, God." The words came out strangled, tears spilling more freely from his eyes. Everyone that had vanished in the middle of the night, had they just been... here? Lost and confused in the woods? The woods, of all places. And he hadn't thought once to use his ability for good, to sniff out a trail. He pulled away enough to look at her better, taking in the disheveled look, the blood on their lip. Could he have stopped her from getting hurt? Could he have brought her home weeks ago, months ago? Had he really failed her in the way that mattered the most? "Judy, I'm... I'm so sorry."

she was holding him so tightly it hurt , sobs strangled from the bend in her neck pinching her windpipe , eyes and nose running like open faucets as she trembled like the leaves forming the canopy above them. the wind didn't whistle, the wood seemed to go mute; the earth itself feeling as if it had stopped turning as her world hugged her back. he said her name, and they melted, muscles turning to ooze and bones to jell-o as they sank into his return of the embrace. her ribs creaked from the firmness of his hold, but she welcomed their whine with open arms — he could crush her, kill her, and judy would die happy. happier than she would have been dying alone in the woods she had spent two months mindlessly wandering in . . .

judy searched for the strength to say his name back to him, but words failed as all that came was a sob instead, burrowing her face into his chest and breathing in his scent like it were perfume. judy didn't know how long they sat there like that, twisted up in one another's arms, her frame sat atop his as if she were still that five pound bunny , her muscles screaming before she finally slacked their grip — leaning back just enough to find his face, lower lip quivering to the point she thought the cut that sat there would split open once more. she tasted iron on her tongue before she realized it already had.

" nick , " judy whispered, so soft it was hardly audible, as if the wind was carrying the moniker and not her own breath. shaking hands found his face, pressing palms to the warm contours of his cheeks, the hair lining his jaw tickling her skin as she took deep, heaved breaths to try and steady her wild pulse.

judy had convinced themselves they were going to die out here. that they'd burrow themselves beneath the earth one day and never resurface. without having said goodbye, without knowing where she was, an empty belly screaming for nourishment and a full heart yearning just to see her best friend one more time.

was she in that grave now ??

her hands moved to trace his features, pad of her pointer following the slope of his nose, the other brushing along the tuft of his eyebrow. iron and salt mixed on her tongue, wheezing as she inhaled and exhaled. her mind was racing and yet it was silent.

" are we . . ." judy gulped, words feeling unfamiliar, realizing now she hadn't spoke outside of screams in weeks. " are we dead ?? are you — is this . . . where — " she got closer , well as much closer as she physically could given as she was on top of him , tears still flowing as if there were a leak in her tear ducts. her eyes drifted, looking around, wondering if the world seemed brighter or if she was hallucinating. turning back to look at him, judy heaved an exhale, trying to smile despite the ache that pulsed where her heart should be.

" you found me. "

[nofoxgivcn]

It must have been only a matter of seconds after he'd voiced her name that she was there, changing form before his disbelieving eyes, as if he had spoken her into existence. But if he could have done that, they would have been back the very first day they had gone missing... or any of the following. Every morning he walked into her room, every single morning (if he hadn't crashed there the night before), curled up on her too-small bed. Flipped the light switch with his tired eyes, early enough the sunlight had yet to seep inside, and he would whisper her name, hoping every single time that they would pop up from a pile of blankets, squinty eyed and annoyed he'd woken them for no reason. Only to be met with silence.

Every single evening, home from work, he would step into their shared apartment and call out to her, hoping all over again that she would be sitting in the living room watching some ridiculous show or shuffle down the hallway towards him. Hoping maybe he would hear the shower water or the sound of the knife on the cutting board, proof she was there and had ever been there in the first place, but he never did. Every single night he would head to her room for the last time of the day, knock twice before pushing it open, met with an emptiness that had began to feel all too familiar. And he'd whisper goodnight, Judy, and hope they would be there when he checked in the morning before heading back to his room or settling onto the mattress that used to belong to them, staring at the walls and wondering where she could have possibly gone until his eyelids refused to remain parted.

Then he would do it all over again.

It was the closest Nick Wilde had ever came to having a schedule in his life, simply going through the motions. Going to work only because he had rent to pay for both of them, or she would not have a home to return to. Eating because he had to eat, not because he was hungry. Sleeping because his body refused to let him wait for their return any longer. He must have had more bags under his eyes than curls on his head, and he'd probably lost at least ten pounds, but as he stared at them now he didn't feel the weight of any of that. All he could focus on was... "— Judy?"

Her name had barely left his lips before she was flinging herself at him and he welcomed the embrace more than he had ever welcomed anything in his life, no time to wonder if he'd truly lost it, if this was a hallucination, if he'd died and found them in whatever afterlife there was, if this was nothing more than a dream to taunt him in his wake. None of the possibilities truly mattered in the moment, did they? She was here. And she felt real. His throat tightened, eyes squeezing shut as he held them to him, inhaling the cool air with a sharpness that was almost painful. He would expect his mind to be racing, that he would have hundreds of questions to ask when he finally saw her again, but when he tried to form a coherent thought, there was nothing at all.

it was , , , frightening.

being alone , for so long — after years of being acclimated to consistent company, it felt foreign to the shifter ; tucked away and burrowed beneath the earth ( pun somewhat intended ) in hopes that maybe she'd find a way out before winter. tucked deep into the foliage of the wood, judy tried to ease the panic that seemed to swell with every breath she took, every snap of a branch, every coo of a bird overhead and hiss of the snakes that hid in the shadows. for a while, she had been scared to shift — fearful that someone would see. now, she was more fearful of shifting back — fearful that she wouldn't be able to hide if someone , something , came for her.

today was no different , grey fur bristling against the fall breeze as judy's quivering rabbit form was tucked beneath the fading greenery of a bush. whiskers twitched, on constant surveillance , violet eyes scanning the earth's floor as a tuft of fur stood erect behind her. then, she heard heavy steps . . . her heart pounding in tandem , meeting the rhythm of the phantom's pace , breath hitching as little lungs clung to scraps of oxygen.

then, a familiar scent. then, a familiar voice. then, a familiar face.

nick ??

his name echoed in her skull, hammered against her ribs threatening to break tiny bones and turn her heart to splattered carnage. judy's nose twitched, eyes bugged and unblinking, staring up at the face that offered her . . . a carrot. nick hated carrots.

then, the bush was tripling in size; judy shifting back to her human form with silver brimming her eyes. clothes were tattered, caked in soil and debris, various cuts and scratches ornamenting ghosted flesh. dirt was packed beneath her nails, midnight blues painting their under eyes , a cut through her lip — they looked like they had been buried alive and had to dig themselves out. with how hard it was to breathe, it still felt like she was still six feet under. they hesitated, for a moment, before they were launching their frail flame at him. arms flung around his neck, body tucked into his chest as she practically catapulted herself onto his lap, hoarse and trauma-soaked sobs pouring from judy as she felt his warmth envelop her like a lost blanket.

they wanted to speak, but they couldn't ; words as foreign as his voice had become in its absence from her world. she squeezed, holding as tight as she could, not wanting to open their eyes in fear he'd vanish and she'd be left all alone again.

[nofoxgivcn]

LOCATION: the woods FOR: @wildcstwinter (judy, duh)

He just wanted to get away from it all. Being in the apartment without Judy sucked. Going to all of their favorite places without Judy sucked. Everything about life without Judy, believe it or not, sucked. Nick had never doubted her importance to him, but this... it was so much harder than he could have ever expected. It felt like every second of every day there was something there to remind him of her, and then remind him, all over again, she was gone. It wasn't like the woods were an escape, but surrounded by nature, it almost felt like they were there with him again, like he could ignore the pain gnawing at his chest. Settling onto the grass, his back pressed against a tree, Nick's eyes surveyed the area then stopped, lingering on a small bunny curled up beneath a bush. "Oh, hey there, little guy," he spoke softly, hoping not to startle it away. "You want a carrot?" He was pulling the bag of carrots out of his backpack — a snack he'd truly never cared much for, but had eaten every single day since he'd last seen Judy — when the rabbit looked. Blinked at him. With... Judy's eyes. Yeah, yep. Those were definitely Judy's eyes. "Oh, great. Cool. Now I'm hallucinating."

[nofoxgivcn]

He listened as she spoke, held onto every word, slowly shaking his head in response. He couldn't blame her. He knew what it was like to need to hide, and it was still rather new to Nick to keep his identity a secret. Where he grew up, everyone knew what he was. They might have hated him for it, but at least they knew. It wasn't a part of him he had to keep buried deep, worried about retaliation, reactions of fear and anger. If his own kind couldn't accept him for being the wrong kind of shifter, he could hardly expect others to. He couldn't shake the thought even now as he stared at her, his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage, knowing she had bared her own soul to him. Every part of him screamed that it was a bad idea, a horrible idea. What she could do was different, it was beautiful, and there was nothing beautiful about him. His mouth felt dry as he contemplated it, tried to talk himself out of it, but he knew that if there was ever a chance to be honest, it was now.

It wasn't fair of him to keep it from her any longer, not when she'd put herself on the line, showed him something she probably had also feared he would dislike her for, maybe even feared he would hurt her over, turn his back on her. "I—..." he started, but he had to stop himself, clear his throat, all of his courage getting stuck on the way out. "Yeah, I get it." Nick knew once he said it, once he did it, it would be over. He knew that she may look at him like a monster, that even if she could relate she may not understand. He knew that she may never want see him again. He knew that the way she looked at him now wouldn't be the same in five minutes, and it made him feel almost claustrophobic, it triggered his fight or flight. But if she had took that chance, what kind of person would he be if he didn't? "Peri, I need to... come clean. I need to show you something too... and it's not as cool as that — no pun intended — but if I trust you... I have to stop stalling and act like it."

peri had never really thought about what nick's reaction to her talents would be . . . well, she had, but the memories of those fantasies were so deeply buried she couldn't will them to the forefront of her mind if she wanted to. his curse sent a zip of panic through her, a bolt of electricity that made her nerves feel like they had been struck by lightening, the breath she took shallow as it sat stagnant in her chest and refused to leave. his eyes, wide and curious, flickering between herself and the ice she had cast upon his door. she wanted so desperately to know what he was thinking, to make sense of him, but despite having revealed her own truths; peri knew there were ones nick still kept from her, a gut feeling that had lead their relationship astray, and she wondered — in the dropping temperature of his living room as her flurries bloomed with her swelling anxiety — if this would have been all that was necessary for him to be honest.

however, in true nick fashion, the tension in the room was squashed by a joke. of course it was. brows threaded together, confusion ripe on paled features, before she let out a short, brisk laugh in disbelief. " oh . . . my god, nicholas wilde. " the laughter then blossomed, a symphony of amusement as her shoulders fell, relief climbing up her ribs and soothing her unsteadily beating heart as she flicked the wrist harboring a small pile of snow in his direction. the emotion that had welled in her eyes melted away, but she dragged the pads of her fingers beneath ceruleans regardless to ensure the moisture hadn't crystallized. " obviously i let you buy ice. i also let you complain about the broken AC in your car when it stopped working during the summer." peri pushed a hand through her hair, feeling the tension on her scalp release as she sunk into the euphoria that was fear leaving her body. " look, i couldn't — i couldn't tell you. i couldn't tell anyone. i've kept this to myself my entire life and , i mean , can you blame me for being scared ?? " her arms wound around herself, sighing as she rocked on her heels. " — but i couldn't explain how i knew it was magic without . . . you know, telling you i had it. or, i guess... showing you."

[nofoxgivcn]

He wasn't sure what he expected when she said that he could be mad later, but Nick was pretty sure he could have written down one thousand expectations and shooting winter from her hands would have never made the list. He would have been less shocked if she'd turned into a polar bear before him, at least he knew people capable of that, though the irony of this was not lost on him; her, having a secret as big as his own. He stared in awe, so taken aback his mood from before was squashed, too focused on the frost that had locked both of them inside to think for a moment about the fact that Judy was not here to witness this, and probably would not be here for a very long time... if ever again.

His lips only parted to close again, the urge to tell her everything about himself, about how he knew magic existed, so strong that he could hardly swallow it down. But where did he start? He could only stare, his eyes darting from the frozen wood to her and back again. He wanted to know how she did it. He wanted to know what she was. He wanted to know how he'd been so dumb, so wrapped up in himself he hadn't noticed she was hiding from him just as much as he had been her. It made sense now, her fingers always nipped by the cold, her skin like a thin sheet of ice pressed against him... he just thought her blood pressure was low or something. Stupid.

"Shit, Peri," he finally managed to say, his eyes trained on the air that snowflakes had fallen from a moment before. He could hardly believe what he was seeing. This, paired with all the people going missing, should have made it seem like a dream, but Nick could tell that he was wide awake. Shaking his head, he tried to find something to say to break the ice — ha — and reassure her that he wasn't mad, that he didn't see her any differently now. At least, not in a negative light. "We dated for how long, and you let me buy ice?"

" yes , " came his reply, and the pixie had to admit — that was not what she had expected to hear.

because when she looked inward, when she cast her eyes within herself, she was painfully aware of how little she trusted him. how little she trusted the world. how little she trusted herself. it had been a suffocating realization, one that made her breath hitch anytime it crossed her mind and guilt swell like a symphony, that very realization having been what had lead to her wanting to end things . . . and that realization was simultaneously the source of her relief when he had felt the same.

peri was well aware she had a lot to learn, both about her humanity pixihood ( was that what they called it?? ) ; this side of her she had never known outside of what those who raised her had taught her . . . the side she had been told to hide. yet her magic; it was loud. it called to her, it sung through her veins, it pulsed through her the same way blood did . . . and yet she hadn't wanted nick to know about it.

because she didn't trust him.

" you do ?? " came her response, winded, her expression incredulous as she crinkled her brows. she swallowed, taken aback, not really knowing what to do now. why she had even asked the question in the first place. if he trusted her — well, she supposed she might as well come forward with the truth then. at least . . . some of it. if it would make him talk, if it would make him be honest so they could formulate a plan, then the least she could do was return the same trust he seemingly had for her.

" you can be mad about this later . . . but if you're going to trust me, i suppose i'll have to trust you too. " her voice came, more so spoken to herself than her ex, and before she could talk herself out of it she was moving her hands. the humming power of winter buzzed in her fingertips, a yearning pup scratching at a closed door . . . until suddenly, the door swung open and one of the tallest walls she had cast between himself and her came crumbling down. her fingers moved like ballerina limbs, curling and flowing methodically like some kind of lost performing art as a wind not sourced from the outside began to whistle in the space between them. turning to look over her shoulder, she guided the mouth of her palm to aim towards the hinges of his front door before a flurry of ice and blue light beamed from icy skin and coated the wood in a twinkling layer of frost. the only way out now sealed shut. turning back to face him, peri lifted her hand, dragging the pad of her thumb against the tips of pointer and middle, a small flurry of white flakes falling from the friction into the palm of the other hand she moved to cup beneath.

" i don't think what happened to those missing people . . . to judy — i don't think it's normal. i don't think they just up and left town . . . " she kept her eyes focused on her magic, which was breathing like it had been holding air in it's lungs and could finally expel it, hypnotized by the flurries whilst pretending nick couldn't see them. then, looking up at him, her voice lowered, suddenly feeling wildly vulnerable and exposed as she met his eyes, moisture welling in her own.  " i think . . . i think it's magic. my magic can feel it. it's . . . it's the only explanation i can think of and — and i want to help you find her. "

[nofoxgivcn]

He regretted the words as soon as they were spoken; it wasn't fair of him to lash out at her when she had never been anything but good to him. Despite them never being able to work it out, despite all of their goodbyes and heartbreaks and tears shed, Nick didn't have any ill feelings towards Peri. He couldn't. She had never intended to hurt him, it had just been a cruel-fated hand they were both dealt. When she spoke again, agreeing with him, he was the one to wince, his own words coming back to bite him. His head was filled with fog, and he didn't know how to handle it. No one had ever taught him how to handle it, how to handle anything.

His mother had only taught him to be kind, to be good, to let harsh words and glares from judgmental parties roll off of his back, and he had failed at all of it. She hadn't taught him how to handle missing someone, and he had never missed anyone this intensely. While he did miss his mom, at least he knew that while he was here, his mother was safe, and he couldn't disappoint her anymore. And his father... it wasn't like he'd ever known the man well enough to know what he was missing. This was... this was like missing a limb. He was sure it couldn't be any worse.

"Yeah," was all he stated, "it's Judy." And he liked to think that Judy would get a kick out of this, him missing all of their annoying little habits right down to the way they scrunched their nose. He liked to think she'd laugh and nudge him and make a joke about how he couldn't live without her and for once, he wouldn't even try to deny it or joke back. He'd just throw his arms around them and swear to whatever God was out there he'd never take her for granted again. If she would just come back.

Her next question caught him off guard, and his lips parted immediately but, unsure of the response, they were soon pressed into a tight line. Him not trusting her had been the problem, hadn't it? Him fearing that she would hate him, that she would leave him, that she would look at him with a disgust he knew so well, one he couldn't handle seeing reflecting back in her eyes. But deep down, part of him knew that even if she didn't understand, even if she was weirded out, she wouldn't blame him. And she wouldn't run off and tell the whole town that he was something other than human, either. She might not want him, but she wouldn't use it against him.

"Yes." The realization brought a sinking feeling to the pit of his stomach, because it was true. He did trust her. And if he trusted her, what had all of this been for? Under the guise of protecting her? Because he was too worried about messing everything up for reasons in his control he took the easy way out, blaming it on unknown variables? Pretending it was him being the bigger man? Turning away, running his palms over his face, he thought it over before speaking with more confidence, a comment that was so genuine it surprised him. "I do trust you."

with nick, peri never really understood what she was feeling. she had convinced herself that it was love — that all parts of the complicated whirlwind that enveloped her whenever he was near could all be summed up as being in love. she doesn't remember falling in love with him, but she remembered the first time they made eye contact, the first time he sampled her name on her tongue, the first kiss they shared under the pale glow of a moon when neither of them wanted the night to end . . . the way their dynamic snowballed and took a quick, sudden, plunge into devotion and titles. back to back nights spent not knowing who's limb was who's between tangled sheets or who's heart was beating the loudest. yet, she doesn't remember when she started saying i love you. or how long she had meant it when the words would pass her lips. all she knew was that she did. she did love him. she always would.

but . . . maybe it was not the kind of love she always thought it was. maybe she loved him but . . . it felt as if it were more complicated than that.

as he stood there, swept up in his grief, lost in the complex maze that was his mind with eyes only for the floorboards; peri's heart whined. the part of her that claimed to be in love him stretched out her fingers and clawed at the air, eager and needy to hold him close and stroke his hair and assure him that everything was alright. the part of her that was questioning lead her to grip hard on the frame of the doorway she still lingered in, feeling the chill of winter stinging her palms as she coated the wood beneath her direct grasp in ice that threatened to spread. his words, steered sharp and mercilessly, towards the organ squirming in her chest practically impaled it. the same part of her that was questioning all she had once believed knew that everything wasn't alright, and she wanted him to say it.

" no, " she replied, words bitten with frost that clouded just barely around her open mouth. " i'm not your girlfriend. "

then, she stepped inside, releasing the frame and pulling the door shut before he could see what she had done. at this point, peri wasn't even particularly certain that she cared if he did. " — and you're right, i don't have to do anything. but i want to, because i care. god— nick. . . this situation . . . i mean, this isn't just some distant tragedy. this is judy — it's — " she clenched her fists in front of her, curling them tight, hiding the magic that licked at her fingertips despite how badly it wanted to burst just to keep in him place until he TALKED. words felt distant, like she never learned them. " this is different. i know this is different. "

suddenly, the pixie sharpened, straightening her spine, a rash decision having been made on the desperate brink of wanting him to open up. wanting him to actually, for the first time since they had met, trust her to be there for him. to know she wasn't hiding or shying away; that peri was here and she wanted nothing more than to help. to listen. because peri knew what judy meant to him. she always had. it used to devour her from the inside out and fill her with the ugliest insecurity, one that was already festering and writhing beneath her skin long before they had met. however, she knew that the two were inseparable. they shared a bond she would never understand. . . peri didn't have to hear it from him to know that judy being missing was devouring him, but she wanted to. he needed to voice it to someone otherwise she feared for the worst.

eyes found his, veiled in worry but . . . glimmering with something foreign. " do you trust me ?? " peri asked. " — and don't bullshit me, nick. for once, i just need you to be honest. do you, or did you ever, trust me ?? "

[nofoxgivcn]

Sometimes Nick thought he would've been better born a turtle over a fox, because when he was hurting, he liked to retreat; he liked to pull his head into his shell where it was nice and dark and safe, and forget about everything outside of it. That was much easier to do when his shell — the apartment, that was — wasn't empty of his roommate and his best friend. It was strange, that the silence that echoed off of the walls and bounced against his eardrums now seemed like it was louder than any sounds of Judy's presence.

"It's okay," he mumbled, shaking his head, shaking the apology off like drops of water falling from his coat. It wasn't okay, and neither was he, but that hardly mattered. He didn't want her apology, because then he had to face what happened more than he already was. For the first time since they'd met, he didn't want her. He wanted to be alone. Painfully, horribly alone, and relish in it.

He loved her, still, he was sure a part of him always would, but as he stared at Peri now he only felt numb. There was nothing she could do to make this better and even if she could, maybe he wouldn't let her. Maybe it wasn't her job. "You don't have to be here for me, Peri," he stated, his words coming off far colder than he intended for them to, not angry or annoyed at her but the whole situation. It felt like some sick and twisted irony for the one person he finally believed wouldn't leave him to be taken away. Taking a step back, physically from her and mentally from the entire situation, he spoke again without thought. "You're not my girlfriend."

still standing in his doorway, peri felt the brushing of a night breeze as it whipped her hair, the coo of an impending storm making static buzz in the fibers of her clothing and hum in her ears. fae were so in tune with nature it was sometimes unsettling to know what was coming . . . then again, as she looked at nick, his face falling as he succumbed to the pain he was feeling — perhaps not knowing what was coming could be just as bad. her lids fell, expression crestfallen as she absorbed his words, dragging thumbs along her own biceps to self-soothe as empathy gripped at her throat.

" i'm so sorry, nick , " was all she managed at first, sincerity making her words creak with emotion as she tried to hold on to any semblance of control she had over herself. she couldn't help it; she felt for him, she felt for everyone . . . and it made her wonder if she would have felt the same had she known about talia the entire time. if she would have mourned the loss of a sister she never knew. if she would wonder when and if she'd ever see her again.

she didn't cross into the threshold of his and judy's place, still lingering in the purgatory between being let in and being shut out. ceruleans sparkled with her welling sympathy. " listen . . . i'm — i'm not trying to say i understand. i don't — i was so lucky not to know a soul on that list besides judy but . . . i want to be here for you. let me be here for you. "

[nofoxgivcn]

"Good as I can be," Nick clarified, knowing it was a bad choice of words the moment he'd said it; maybe fine or okay would have been more appropriate, but still blatant lies just the same. "Good enough, good considering." He pushed his hands in the front pockets of his pants to stop from wringing them, or cracking his knuckles, or picking at the hangnail he'd already chewed at enough to make bleed earlier. He wasn't a nervous person, not outwardly, he liked to think he'd gotten decent over the years at hiding his tails. But Peri could see through them... and he wasn't doing the best job at hiding it. He couldn't.

This was too big. This was too much. Shifting his weight from left to right, he focused on the end of her sentence, if only not to dwell on the rest. "She didn't... not like you." Which was besides the point, but he thought it was true — Judy didn't like that Nick got hurt, which was just as much his own doing as Peri's. They were too smart to not see that. Frowning still, he hesitated for half a second before giving in. There was no point in even trying to pretend in front of her. He was too tired, and for the first time in his life, he wished Judy was there to nag him about his ex being in their apartment.

"I tried to text. It wouldn't go through." Which was... puzzling. Wherever they were, the phone should still exist. Their number should still be active. He'd Googled the message seconds after he'd gotten it, copied and pasted it right into the search bar. But it only confused him more, to think her number had been unassigned. It was almost like wherever she was, she didn't want him to reach her. "I don't understand. How does half a town disappear... overnight? Why her?"

releasing him, stepping back, peri folded her cardigan-clad arms around her form and chewed on the inside of her cheek. it broke her heart to see him like this, an already fragile organ that swelled around him enough as it was pushed to its limits when the man was hurting. nick wilde was good at a lot of things . . . communicating ?? not one of them, and it was something she had learned after being with him and something she always hoped he'd be able to work on. not for her sake, but for his own.

" you're good ?? really ?? your best friend is missing and you're good ?? " even saying it out loud made her own throat sting, walls tightening on the air she tried to steadily breathe in and out so her own emotions didn't overwhelm her. peri was hurting for him — for her sister who was missing a friend, for all the people who loved someone on that list. the whole situation . . . it was devastating.

" i'm not — that's not what i'm doing . . . " she huffed defensively, frowning at him. " i'm just saying that what's not going to happen is you pushing me away by brushing off this whole thing. you can look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you haven't been losing your mind ?? you haven't been freaking out or worried ?? c'mon, nick, this is judy we're talking about. even i'm worried and she didn't even like me. "

[nofoxgivcn]

It was funny. In an ironic way, not a ha-ha way, not that at all. Nick was used to being alone. He'd been alone his entire life. But somehow, he felt it more now than he ever had before. It wasn't unusual to be in the apartment by himself, but now it felt... empty. Like he could physically feel that something was missing. He'd had a sinking feeling when he woke this morning, like he knew she was gone. Did it matter where? In his experience, when people left, they didn't come back.

He'd been pacing the halls, just pacing, not really sure what to do. Kind of just hoping Judy would poof back into the apartment in front of him. As far as he knew, that was how they got to his town the first time. Maybe it'd happen again. Or maybe he'd blink and he'd be standing in front of her on some island somewhere. He was on what had to be his two-hundredth-something circle when he heard the knock. He'd gotten her text, his eyes had already been glued to his phone — not wanting to tear away from the undelivered texts he'd been begging to go through — but he hadn't replied. No matter what he said, he knew Peri would show up anyway.

The hug was welcome, though he didn't show it in his words or his behavior, melting into her touch for only a moment before he was pulling free from her arms. "I'm good, Peri, don't worry." He didn't mean to be short with her. He just wasn't sure how to handle this. Nick was so far in his head he could hardly even see her, staring right at her. Any other time, she would have his full attention, but now, the two of them may as well be on different planets. "I'm not on the verge of a breakdown or anything. You don't have to treat me like someone died."

closed starter: @nofoxgivcn !!

" oh . . . nick, " peri breathed, emotion already clinging to lashes and thickening them, stamping mascara on the apples of her cheeks as she tried to blink the moisture away. ex-boyfriend or not , peri still loved him. when he hurt, she hurt . . . and the moment she had seen judy was one of the individuals declared missing, it hadn't taken her more than two minutes to text him that she was on her way over. he didn't respond, but she didn't need him to. he was smart to know there was no fighting her on this ; that she wasn't going to let him sit and fester in whatever fear was no doubt plaguing him on his own.

stepping into his apartment , their apartment, peri felt the missing energy that had been stolen along with his best friend. his ache pulsed through the walls, making her skin buzz, an anxiety that wasn't her own fluttering in her chest. not to mention . . . the look in his eyes. it broke her heart, her breaths shuddering. " oh god, come here . . . " the blonde muttered, pressing onto her tip toes, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down to her. voice lowered to a whisper; floating like a slow falling snow; " im here for you. whatever you need , nick . . . just say the word. "

[nofoxgivcn]

📱sms → carrots !

nick: judy nick: judith hopps nick: please answer me nick: judy please nick: where tf would you even go nick: where COULD you go nick: come back i won't even be a pain in your ass anymore i swear on my life nick: please nick: judy nick: judy nick: judy nick: i can't do this without you

[nofoxgivcn]

Her exhaustion must have been contagious; as she leaned in Nick had to stifle a yawn, feeling his sad loneliness from earlier replaced with a sleepiness... and a feeling of comfort, of safety, that Judy always seemed to bring him. With her words from earlier playing in his mind, you are worth so much more, he felt like he would sleep a little easier tonight than he had been, but he didn't particularly want them to head back to their room, worried the bad thoughts would set in again.

"We won't be stuck here forever," he spoke after a moment, attempting to offer her the same kind of comfort she'd brought, but not knowing enough to be truly helpful. "I mean, come on, this is real life... not some bad thriller movie. There has to be a logical explanation." One he hadn't looked for too hard, somewhat for the fear of finding. "They won't be missing forever, either. Their families aren't just going to give up. And you... you won't be a meter maid forever. You're the smartest bunny I know. Not that bunnies are notoriously known for being smart... I'm kidding," he clarified, not wanting to make her cry more.

Squeezing them gently, he leaned over, resting his cheek atop her head. Wishing he was better at this, but all he could do was try. Hopefully she knew he was trying. "It'll be okay. And it has to be, you know, I'm not just saying that. Because I don't want to give you any more reasons to say I told you so."

judy sometimes wondered if nick's heart was still in the case that had brought them here like hers was; if he still thought about those missing shifters at all. getting stuck in evermore had been an adjustment, one they've had to settle into for longer than expected but . . . the moment they could leave, judy had already packed her metaphorical bags and was ready to get back home. they had never thought to question if nick felt the same way, and now having the curtain to the reality of his life, how he felt about it, drawn back . . . her stomach twisted. she gulped down another shot, practically desperate, eyes burning from tears & exhaustion as she coughed this time — much harder, writhing beside him as she hit her fist against her sternum.

" right, " judy drawled, not believing him, wiping her lips with the back of her hand as she swallowed hard to try and ease the burn. she sucked in a sharp breath, sleepier than ever now, sinking into his side, the warmth of his arm wrapping around her easing some of the shivers that had began to plague her limbs. " yeah, i guess . . . i guess that makes sense, " she mumbled, head resting against the cage of his ribs, curling knees back up as one of her hands yanked at his comforter to bring it over their legs, practically cradling the vodka like it were a damn infant.

" — but. . . but what if i don't find us a way out ?? " judy whispered, too physically tired for this conversation but her mind was alive and running. between his confession, between his dismissal of her idea, between her crying like the dumb, emotional bunny she was; judy couldn't help it how loud her brain was, throat tightening again as she traced the mouth of the bottle with her thumb. " you deserve . . . " she sucked in a breath, trying to control the vibration of her words so they wouldn't tremble as much. "you deserve better than being stuck here forever. and — and those shifters deserve justice and . . . and i don't want to be a meter maid forever. forever's a really, really long time, nick . . ."

[nofoxgivcn]

"I don't know." The words came out solemn, it wasn't a nice thought. He did love the idea of no one really knowing him, not having their pre-conceived judgements... but he would feel like he was playing a part his entire life, wouldn't he? He would feel guilty, if he ever dared to get close to anyone else, the way he had with Peri; it was a heavy secret, and even though he was free from the hate he'd gotten used to, the freedom came with a price. His eyes stayed trained on their face as they swung the vodka back, knowing they were thinking about their own future as well.

He knew she wanted out, that she still cared about the case they'd been working on, about getting back to her family. He knew that she would never truly be happy here, but even less if she had to tuck parts of herself away to be loved. To build a life. It wasn't fair, and he wished he could tell them that it would be fine if they outed themselves, if they just took a chance that could pay off, but... it wouldn't. If shifters were so against a fox, he could only imagine how humans felt about any of their kind. He didn't care so much what happened to him, but if Judy got hurt...

"It's not because of you," he stated, lying through his teeth, but they didn't have to know that. It was for the greater good. "It's just as much for me. After what happened to my dad— I mean, I don't..." His left shoulder lifted and fell into a shrug, the other arm coming to wrap around her to give her extra warmth, not pointing out that his room felt perfectly fine to him. "There's no reason for us to run. We'll probably end up going back home eventually, anyway. You know you'll find a way out." She didn't have to know he didn't plan to follow.

judy felt the waterworks blooming again upon seeing his tears, a sign of an emotion they had never gotten familiar with — a side of nick judy had never gotten the honor of seeing. judy's lip wobbled, a sad laugh sounding from her as she continued to swipe at her face, shaking her head back and forth, ponytail coming loser and loser with each sweep of her chin to the left and right. " shut up, " judy mumbled, but she was smiling through the ache, sternum feeling like a spear that had been implanted in her chest, moving one of her hands to press against it — hoping she could soothe the metaphorical wound. " that's not funny. . ." but it was, which is why she was smiling despite the steady stream of salt that continued to dampen cheeks judy kept unsuccessfully trying to dry.

sitting back on her knees, putting some space between them, judy took a moment to steady her breaths as he spoke, grabbing the hem of his shirt she wore between her fingers and lifting the material to aid in the drying of her soiled face. the draft in his room was cool against the plane of her stomach, making judy shiver. it didn't help her breaths were still shuddering, lungs still feeling as if they had more emotion to project, but she was really, truly, trying to pull it together because . . . this wasn't about her.

thankfully, nick was past the point in their friendship of fussing over her tears, so used to them by now he was damn near unfazed. a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one.

though, her smile kind of wavered when he dismissed the idea of telling anyone. it wasn't that judy had anyone in particular she felt the need to out herself to but . . . she didn't like hiding. they hated it, actually. returning the fabric of his shirt back to it's rightful placement, judy sniffed a few times, wrinkling her nose to soothe the itch that nipped at its tip. " i mean, we can't leave evermore , right ?? " judy reminded him, looking back up, leaning over him to pluck the bottle back, tracing her lower lip with its rim as she racked her brain for the words she wanted. " are we just — are we just going to hide forever ?? " judy's voice waivered at the end, finally tilting the vodka bottle back and allowing the flavored liquid to slosh over her tongue, searing it. wincing, scrunching her face, judy extended the bottle away from herself and twisted her lips, shaking her head again. bad, that was bad. why did alcohol HURT ??

blinking through the tears that now came as a result of the burn, judy huffed; " i am perfectly capable , " she coughed, still recovering; " — of taking care of myself , wilde. . . " she then cradled the bottle in her arms, scooting on her knees until she was at his side again, plopping back down right next to him. " your room is freezing, " she huffed, wiggling until she was comfortably nestled into the side of his torso. " but . . . i mean, nick — this town it's . . . something about it is different. the people here they're not — they're not like back home. i don't want you to . . . i dunno, not be honest with people because of me. i'll be fine. i'm a tough bunny, and i can run really fast if i need to."

[nofoxgivcn]

"Or you're too short," was Nick's playful rebuttal, finding it easy, too easy, to fall into comfortable banter with her. Too easy to forget for a moment that he wasn't picking his girlfriend up from a night on the town, but an ex he was supposed to stop thinking about, stop... wanting. It was hard, though, when she was looking at him like that, laughing like that, reminding him all over again of sounds and expressions he missed. Pieces of her he was only allowed in flashes now.

It was an acceptable answer, one he wasn't sure he could buy, but Nick would pick her up either way. What other option was there? "Of course I answered. In," he coaxed, nodding to the vehicle she'd just been pointing at, stopping near the passenger seat door. The thought that he'd never answer, that he'd have his phone on silent with Peri's number not on the exception list, was one far too foreign to him right now. Since they'd met, really. "I need to get your shoe before I forget. Not sure what good one will do you, but..." He wasn't going to leave it sitting on the curb.

pursing her lips, peri allowed her arm to hook around his neck as she pressed the balls of bare feet into the concrete beneth her, shoe and purse lazily held in her other hand as she slumped into his side. a fit of girlish giggles left the blondes mouth, the sounds infused with exhaustion and liquor, stumbling off of the curve and struggling to stay latched to him due to the stark difference in their heights. " you're too tall, " she laughed, head rolling back so glassy eyes could meet his own.

nick's question, however, lead her to frown, lips curling into a deep, embarrassed pout as she shook her head back and forth. "nooo , no no no. not gonna puke, " she reassured him. then, a bit sheepishly; " well, probably when i get home but, not in . . . there," a lazy finger pointed to his vehicle, though her eyes remained transfixed on the handsome features of his face, smile blooming once more. " i can't believe you answered, " but was it really that far fetched to believe he did ?? " i can't. . . remember who i came out with. i — i think i came alone ?? i dunno. i got lost."

[nofoxgivcn]

He was expecting them to cry. Nick had known Judy long enough to know pretty much anything he could tell her about about his backstory, even if he tried to water it down and brush it off as not a big deal, would have her crying; at first it had made him uncomfortable, the fact that anything remotely sad or frustrating or even videos with happy endings could bring out the waterworks — a polar opposite to himself, who fought tooth and nail to shove all of his emotion down, refusing to show or even admit he was feeling it until he was alone with no distractions and he could do nothing but dwell on it. In the beginning, he didn't know how to handle it... or her.

By now he was used to the tears, like all of their other habits; the veggie obsession, the foot stomping, the over-protectiveness. He knew he couldn't stop the feelings, he just had to let her get them out, so it no longer sent him into panic mode, into wondering how to avoid it or fix it. He had also grown used to the affection, accepting the hug as she threw her arms around him, his own lifting a moment later to return the embrace... which was enough to knock the plug that was holding back his own waterworks loose, pain seeping out into a quiet sob.

He knew it wasn't healthy, to keep it all bottled up, but until now he didn't have much of an alternative. He stayed strong for his mother, knowing she was dealing with enough, not wanting her to feel guilty for not doing enough — none of what happened to Nick was her fault. She had been the closest thing he'd ever had to a safe place... until now. It wasn't her fault that predators and prey alike looked down on foxes, it wasn't her fault society was a dangerous place. It wasn't her fault he had no friends. With Judy, it felt different, like she wouldn't feel guilty for him, or pity him, or judge him. Something, he knew, would take quite awhile to get used to.

"So emotional," he teased after pulling himself back together, words muffled by their shoulder, but the tears that had rolled down his cheeks surely wouldn't go unnoticed. Not uncomfortable by the touch or the emotion anymore, he was uncomfortable about the words of affirmation, wanting to squirm under their gaze, wanting to deny them, to make a joke, to self-deprecate. But he pressed his lips tightly together instead, willing, or trying to will himself, to believe they held some truth. That he wasn't a bad person just because everyone else thought so; he hadn't helped himself, he hadn't exactly been a model citizen after elementary school years. But he also knew that the way he was looked at wouldn't change, no matter what he did.

And that was a pretty disheartening feeling.

"Thanks, Carrots," he offered her a weary smile, leaning his head back against the bedposts behind him, his gaze focused on the paint job where the wall met the ceiling. Had he thought about telling anyone? Of course he had. He'd thought every time he was around Peri that, maybe, if she knew... quirking an eyebrow at Judy's quickness to correct the us comment, Nick shook his head a moment later. It didn't matter what he thought about. "You know why I can't," he said, softly.

There was a chance people would laugh, think it was a joke, he was delusional, but at least he'd be honest in that scenario. There was a chance, one that felt much smaller, that he wouldn't be judged or hated. That people would be able to wrap their minds around it easier than he would think. But there was also a chance they would believe them, and it wouldn't be a good thing. "It's not worth it," he decided, for the umpteenth time, aloud, eyes tearing away from the wall to look at them again. "I'm not letting you get hurt on the off chance someone might accept it."

judy didn't know what she had been expecting, a fit of desperation leading her to have practically begged nick to talk to her. it wasn't that she wanted to pry, it wasn't that she was nosey . . . but judy just knew there were things the other wasn't telling her. secrets he kept, truths that stayed tucked beneath his tongue, hidden behind a charming smile and a witty comeback. the shifter knew him well enough to know that she hardly knew him at all. then, he started speaking and . . . god, judy couldn't help it. eyes grew glassy, from both exhaustion and emotion, throat feeling as if it were being gripped as judy dropped her chin even deeper into her sternum, tightening the hold she had on her legs and cradling her knees closer to her chest. " nick, " she whispered, spoken somberly, his name cracking as if it physically ailed her to say it.

the longer nick went on talking, the hard it became not to sob. she knew he was hurting, she knew he had skeletons he kept buried in the deepest corner of his closet, but hearing what he had gone through ?? arms finally unfurled from her knees, a hand coming to rest over her trembling lips, the other reaching behind her to find where his hands were entangled in his lap, fitting her fingers in the gaps between his as he continued talking. finally opening up; TRUSTING her.

silence lingered between them after he had finished, a silence they purposely put there so they could find the strength not to burst into hysterics and make him regret what he had said. " i'm sorry, " judy squeaked, shuffling enough to face him, face ripe with empathy and hurt as salt glazed the rounds of their cheeks. " i'm so sorry. i — i had no idea, nick. . . god, that must have been awful for you . . . " sure, judy knew about being looked down upon — having her dreams pushed to the side, her desire to make the world a better place laughed at, told that prey could never hold jobs like predators. the dumb bunny who wanted to be a detective. . . but, her ailments as a child paled in comparison to nick's, and judy suddenly felt like such a horrible friend for not being a better support system when he was handling all of that. all on his own.

with a croaked sob, judy suddenly threw her arms around the man's neck, burying her face there, having scrambled and scooched so close she was practically in his lap. she knew he'd probably make fun of her but, she couldn't help it; bunnies were emotional, after all . . . and even in her human form, those emotions didn't change. judy cried, and cried, holding him as tightly as she could, wanting him to feel that she loved him and cared about him more than she could even express with words.

"i see you, " she then whispered on a trembling breath, clutching tighter, trying to get even closer, practically wanting to crawl into his skin. " i — i always have." then, leaning back just enough so they could see his face, judy's wet and glossy gaze found nick's. her face was red and damp, wisps of hair falling from a lazy pony gripping the rounds of tear-soaked cheeks, lips buzzing from the salt that broke upon their surface as she tried her best to pull it together ( though she was failing miserably ). unwrapping her arms from his neck, judy cupped his face, squeezing it just enough his lips puckered as she brought her nose practically millimeters from his. " i see you, nick, and . . . and anyone who . . . who doesn't see is an idiot. moron. you are — " she heaved a sigh, lowering her gaze, swiping her tongue across her lips to capture the salt as she tried to find the words. " you are one of the best people i've ever met. all parts of you . . . well, besides- besides the stupid ones. . . they're worth so much more than you give them credit for. you are worth so much more."

glancing up at him, judy's brows furrowed, a question burning on the tip of her tongue; " have you . . . i mean, have you thought about telling anyone ?? about — about us ?? " realizing how wrong that sounded, she leaned back, reaching up to wipe the backs of her hands across her cheeks, collecting her breath and stabilizing her emotions. somewhat. " i mean, about us being shifters. not . . . not like. . . us. there's no us. well, there kind of is but — i mean, maybe we should start telling people. maybe — maybe someone knows what happened to the missing predators. and then we — you — wouldn't have to hide anymore."

[nofoxgivcn]

He should have expected as much, but Nick didn't exactly realize just how drunk she was until she spoke. He stared at her for a moment, trying to feel more annoyed than he did, endearment etching itself into his features instead before he stepped away from the car to make his way over to where she sat.

Crouched down beside of her, he took Peri's wrist, gently pulling her arm around his neck before standing again. It felt intimate, despite the amount of times they'd been between the sheets, held hands, made out — the fact that she had called him, trusted him to help her, to get her home... and the fact that he didn't hesitate before jumping out of bed, that he would drop everything, even after all this time. "Are you going to puke?" He questioned, pulling her with him towards the car; it wasn't his biggest concern, but it made the list. "I don't have a bag. Just... just aim for the floorboard. Or out the window, if you can."

peri was . . . humiliated, to say the lease. curled up on the curb with concrete biting at the backs of her thighs, chin rested atop bare knees, peri heaved a sigh through liquor-soaked lips. lids were heavy from the fading adrenaline, and cobalts narrowed into slits as the blinding lights of headlights as they flashed in her face.

everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, and peri blinked dumbly up at his figure as she pressed her cheek further into the bend of her legs. "nick," she cooed adoringly in greeting, liquor burning her tongue and blending her syllables together. princess, he had called her — god, did she miss that. the blonde watched him open the passenger door, a deep pout on her features as she nuzzled deeper into her own knees. " i don't know if i can staaaand, " she whined, curling her toes into the asphalt of the road, the lone shoe she had resting beside her. " i don't want you to get saaaaassssyyy, but. . . i might fall. my head is spinning. help ?? "