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Tukar lah . 6 tahun. 🙄
5 years
Its been 5 years : that Ive paid for everyone kurung in this house
Its been 5 years : that ive paid for almost all the furnishings in this house
Its been 5 years: that ive paid for the kuihs in this house
Its been 5 years : that i have to think for almost everything in this house
Its been 5 years: that ppl think ive been provided for
Its been 5 years: that i accumulated 5 digit loan cos of this house
I dont even hv the $$ to buy nice clothes , buy makeup, to dress myself up cos of why? cos i am the provider for the kids and myself and i wonder why.
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Penat asyik nak kene pikir tentang kewajipan anak-anak.From mengaji, to the kids education, to the well being of the kids, to the development of the kids.Dont talk about wealth cos its just to exhausting to talk about it. I wear the pants to the kid. Please study on children development cos your regimental ways is not working. Your temper is disgusting. The way u treat my siblings is disgusting .The way you handle situations is disgusting. You want to receive pleasure but you dont give pleasure. You expect good things to come to you but you dont want to work hard.You dont take criticisms well.You only want to be treated nicely but dont do things in return. I definitely am filtering ny kindness to you cos you are definitely a question to me . Your priority is never me. Cakap tak serupa bikin.
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Always me. Always me to say sorry.Always me at fault.N ur so perfect.Ur a gem. Even if u start the crap.I have to b the sorry soul to “feel sorry” . I will never feel loved by you cos you only think about urself.UR BIG FAT EGO. How u can never feel that ur wrong and that ur always right.Whatever I do will nver be right cos your perfect.
May allah soothe my heartache that uve caused so many times and how u will never know how crushed my heart .How i yearn for u to just make me feel better. Im so done expecting u to make me feel better.So done. I work for this house for myself. i work the kids for myself. N guess what i have to work cos of you.
So yup. SCREW YOU.
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It is ALWAYS my fault. ALWAYS.
Mandi pun salah. Tak mandi salah.
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Communicate
Here we go again.Communicate.
C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.E
Im crying but I feel numb,cause Im sad but I dont know how painful it is. Im immune to the lack of communication in this marriage. Not cause I cant communicate but I have to listen to no communication. I have to suffer cos you suffer from no knowledge of communication.It is cos you feel everyone have the right to tell you.Everyone else have to check your well being.Everyone else have to check your feelings but you dont need to. Cos why ?
POOR COMMUNICATION
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NEXT
Penat menangis.Penat sangat.Sebab apa? Sebab akan ulang lagi perangai yang sama, layanan yang sama.
ok
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5 years
Its been 5 years : that Ive paid for everyone kurung in this house
Its been 5 years : that ive paid for almost all the furnishings in this house
Its been 5 years: that ive paid for the kuihs in this house
Its been 5 years : that i have to think for almost everything in this house
Its been 5 years: that ppl think ive been provided for
Its been 5 years: that i accumulated 5 digit loan cos of this house
I dont even hv the $$ to buy nice clothes , buy makeup, to dress myself up cos of why? cos i am the provider for the kids and myself and i wonder why.
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Life & a cake
Im not perfect and will never be, but im trying to do my best to b the best wife,best mother,best daughter. I help you with your household that you actually need to bare.Never once I ask you to pay for my milk to our kids which you are suppose to , you dont know cos u dont do any readings. , cos all you read are msgs frm ppl from ur whatsapp groups . Till date, I have never ask you to pay for the loans I took on my own for your house. Myb u dont know or your just selfish that when I marry you, i leave my family for you. My family have no power against me.I must at all times listen to you. So when my mother , the single women who has nvr been sick with severe pain which u assume is “mcm takde pape je”, fever of 39.7, extreme low oxygen what do I do? I listen to you and go to an adult celebration of a birthday party while my only mother battle for her pain,suspect of a kidney failure.What was her daughter doing? Singing a happy birthday song to a relative and pretend everything is ok. What is more important? My mother or a cake? I choose the cake cos y, cos ur my husband. Alhamdulilah allah nk tunjukan how you are as a husband. Insyaalah if you were to experience anything similar to this, ur wife and ur kids will follow u the hospital cos a life is more important than a cake. And even than I wont tell a colleague about your wife aib and how she saw ur muka taik . Dont forget to tell ur friend the size of ur wife underwear and bra. Thanks b you have definitely open my eyes about you, about our communication , our trust and how u treat me and ur views on my family . Such great pleasure to know.
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I married myself
Cos I plan to make myself happy
Cos I plan to make my kids happy
Cos I plan to make parents happy
Cos I plan to make YOU happy
But who gives a FUCK about me
Nobody.
Had lunch? What u had for lunch?
Hows your milk supply? Still have supplements?
Tired? What happen at work?
Need to cook?
DONT GIVE A FUCK LAH
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“One of the main reasons having a conversation with you is pointless”
— YOUR WIFE
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Single Account
Saddens me that we cannot afford the simplest yet the most important thing.Kids Insurance.We dont share anything that has got to do with finance and yet it seems to be normal to do it. I handle my account.You handle yours.
“ Kita keluar semua.I belanja pakai duit tu”
Kita ni beban lah kan
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ASAL
Cos its my 1st time handling 2 kids on my own.With an infant who doesnt wants to nap and wants to be carried all the time. Cos its 2pm and I havent had any breakfast nor lunch still. Cos I havent showered and I need to berak. Cos I havent iron any clothes .
Cos you left me alone with two kids on own and never ask if I could cope .
Thats Why.
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FUCKING ANNOYING
try sleeping at 2am everyday with interrupted sleep which sums up to 4-5hrs of sleep .
and what you get is snide smile with unnecessary comments
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To the three of you
As I am typing this, I am actually very nervous about my operation on 29/Sep/17 cos I am not sure if its a wise decision to bring you out on the 29 Sept 2017. I hope you are happy with your Birthday being on the 29th Sept. You are a baby girl that Mama will always cherish and treasure. Remember that being a girl , we must at all times protect ourselves, our dignity , our confidence and our morale to others out there. As a girl and a women , strive to be the besg and never take ur gender as a weakness. You will always be my princess to both mama and abah. I love you since I know you and I hope you continue to pray for me till eternity.
To my mama baby aka Affie Baby aka Affie Mirza. You my dearest precious one, you are my joy and my soul. My heart goes weak knowing that you might get hurt or cry if something is not going to be done your way.You will soon grow up and understand why everyone must be firm with you so that you grow up to respect all Allah's creation. Be sure that you my love will be my favorite one. I love you. I love you and I will always love you. You MUST study smart and hard. Respect all mankind and be someone that can make mama and abah proud. Please pray for me , make dua for me and remember my love that I'll always be your fav fan in anything that you do. Dont eat nonsense stuffs and please enjoy reading allright.
To my Bobby,
the past 3 years hasnt been the best but we have to agree that we have had some joys through little wreckage that we have created . Thank you for the little and the biggest thing that you have sacrificed for our family and I hope you will continue to sacrifice for our children . I am sorry that it will be difficult soon but hopefully it will all be worth it . I love you dear . Bring our children up to the best of their capability. Put them into the best enrichments , schools . You name it, anything for the children. Please bring my mom along with you, as that will be one of my hopes to have her close to me and our family. She needs a companion and I hope our children can ease her lonely heart. Please make dua for me as you know I havent been the best that i should be. Thank you Abang,you were my true soul and I apologize if I have ever make you upset . If you ever find someone that can replace your heart, tell her to love my child like her own. Thats all I can ask for.Tell my parents that I love them & my siblings to continue to take good care of my parents especially my mom.
I LOVE ALL YOU & I HOPE YOU WILL LOVE ME TOO.
MAMA
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