nonbinary-knight-evolving

[nonbinary-knight-evolving]

Journal Update

So I’ve had more days that I’ve forgotten to journal and I still haven’t set an alarm up yet to remind me to post my journal entries every week or so. Well...here we go.

January 20th- Dyed my hair some shade of red today. I like how it looks. My school bag is packed and I’m ready for school tomorrow.

January 21st- First day of classes!! Bit anxious about my CS 2 class but that’s about it. Got to write my name on an assignment for the first time instead of using my deadname. It felt amazing.

January 22nd- Did the first bit of my reading for my Death and Dying Philosophy class. Had Shrimp and Lobster ravioli!! Did some research on what I want to do after graduation. I think I have a couple of ideas. Maybe something in computer science or cybersecurity.

January 23rd- Boring day but good. Spend the day on various school assignments and reddit. Got picked up late so my mom bought us Cane’s rather than cook dinner.

January 24th- Sore today. Didn’t do much, made today a lazy day. Had some leftover Cane’s.

January 25th- Went to my favorite Pokemon Go park for PoGo today and I caught a legendary with the help of some people at the park!! Had Cafe Zupas for lunch in trade for me helping my mom with some school related stuff. Ended the time out with some grocery shopping.

January 26th- Didn’t do much today. I don’t know if I want to journal on these lazy days but I do kind of want to journal something every day.

January 27th- Had an interview today for a volunteer position that I really want. According to the person I talked to the rest of the information will be emailed to me later that week (spoiler alert, it came later than a week but it came). Had a minor little freakout today when trying to work on my CS 2 assignment. Not a great sign. Paid rent, filled the water gallons, and cleaned the floors. Very productive today!!

January 28th- Had traffic on the way to school and that’s always a bad way to start the day. Spend way too long trying to work on my CS 2 assignment including going to the lab hours and not getting any help because other people needed help and then I just couldn’t find the TA/GA. Seriously debating dropping or auditing this class. On the way home, when I already have a headache, my legs hurt, my neck hurts, and I’m tired, some bitch slammed into the back of my mom’s car while we were at a stop light. My mom pulled into a parking lot and the bitch drove away. We’re okay. The bumper is falling off a little bit so that’s going to be an issue and I’m full of anger but we’re good.

January 29th- Finished the code for my class. Not a great assignment, couldn’t get it to do exactly what I wanted, but I turned something i. Need to be able to drop or audit this class but I’m worried about the impact that can have on my GPA.

January 30th- Back in some pain, possibly from the accident combined with being hunched working on my code.Talked to my mom about getting out of this CS 2 class and she seems fine with it as long as financial aid isn’t impacted.

January 31st through February 3rd- No journal. Must have forgotten.

February 4th- Had a fitness test in my basketball class and an exam in my computer class (for reference I have a computer class, basketball class, CS 2 class, IS class, and death class). Fitness test went better than expected, ran the suicides in 52 seconds. I’m stressing over the exam though. Haven’t dropped or audited my CS 2 class yet. I need to: I got a 22.75 out of 25 on the first assignment. Got confirmation that I got the volunteer position though!!

February 5th- Today is a very, very bad mental health day. Spent quite a bit of today crying, I just couldn’t seem to control it. I couldn’t figure out the code for my CS 2 class and I was stressing over it to the point where I was seriously considering whether plunging a knife into my neck would have been a bad idea. Spent some time lying in bed with a youtube video going trying to even out my emotions. Eventually managed to calm down and I spent the next few hours working on the code. Spend the rest of the day with a headache though.

February 6th- Last class of the day was cancelleed so my mom picked me up early. She had the idea of going to happy hour at Bahama Breeze and I wasn’t going to say no. Got to try two new drinks while out. Think I’m coming down with a cold or something.

February 7th- Definitely have a cold. Spent the day with a runny/stuffy nose and a scratchy throat. Couldn’t bring myself to do school work so I played Mass Effect instead.

February 8th- Went on a hike with some people I don’t know, it was being guided my a Park Ranger my mom knows (it was his last hike and technically he’s not a ranger anymore but whatever). The hike was nice and my mom and I talked about wanting to go on hikes more often, can’t wait for that to happen. Did some grocery shopping- a lot of walking, by the end of the day my legs hurt. Got a 78 out of 100 on my second CS 2 assignment. I need out now.

February 9th- Got told by someone in the Financial Aid office that I was clear to drop or audit the course!! Audited the class so that I can still learn what she’s teaching without having to worry about it impacting my grade.

February 10th- Worked on some school work. Not much else was done today. Got an email from about the volunteer position saying that I’ll be added to the shared drive soon. Very excited to start!!!

[nonbinary-knight-evolving]

Update

One of my goals for this year was to keep a sort of journal online. I’ve been postponing uploading it because I want to make sure that I can keep it on somewhat of a normal schedule. This post, under the read more, will have my entries from January 1st to January 19th, minus a couple days that I forgot to write about.

January 1st- Not much happened today. I woke up at 9 in the morning after only a couple hours of sleep to apply for a microgrant that will cover my legal name change. Not 100% sure how it works yet, need to remember to email them about the process. Went back to sleep and, after waking up at a more reasonable time, spent most of the day on Youtube.

January 2nd- Had to go to the dentist today. Managed to get it done with minimal complaining. Only had to get 2 fillings instead of 3. Check up in six months, not excited.

January 3rd- Watched some Scooby Doo today. Had a random craving for Taco Bell and managed to convince my mom that we should have some. Good day but not much going on.

January 4th- Got a tattoo today!! My Expecto Patronum tattoo hurt quite a bit to get and the wait was long but not horrible. Love how the tattoo turned out though, worth every second of the pain.

January 5th and 6th- Not much to say. Didn’t really do anything on either of these days.

January 8th- Forgot to journal on the 7th. Started working on a scarf for my mom using the Loop de Loom that I have. I’m really hoping she likes how it turns out. Had Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated playing in the background while I was working on it.

January 9th- Continued working on my mom’s scarf, continued watching Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated. Great show, not a huge fan of the Velma-Shaggy relationship though. Started a coding program online, really considering going for a Computer Science degree after I graduate. Don’t know if I could get any grants for it though.

January 10th- Spent a bit of time working on my mom’s scarf, making pretty decent progress. Kept Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated on in the background, love my sarcastic Velma. Highly recommend the series. Got Chipotle today, tasted amazing. Spent a bit of time on the coding program as well.

January 11th- Had to go grocery shopping today. Not my favorite thing to do but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Set up a coding terminal to practice on to try and get back into the groove for my Computer Science 2 class this semester- took Computer Science 1 last summer. Need to rework my skills a bit.

January 13th- Forgot to journal for the 12th. Finished the scarf for my mom- want to try something new with it but I don’t know if it’s gonna work. Kept watching Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated. Downloaded Visual Studio and Unreal Engine to mess around with some level designing stuff just to pass the time. Ordered my textbooks for the upcoming semester, can’t wait for school to start again. Was able to change my name for my diploma to my chosen name instead of my deadname. Was also assured that filling out the application meant that I am getting the microgrant to file my legal name change!!! Got two emails today asking for an interview with me. A general interview with a coding school I might want to attend and an interview with a volunteer job I want to do. Need a bit more information before I can schedule the phone calls though.

January 14th- Messed around with Unreal Engine a bit today- don’t fully understand some things yet. Tried to do the new thing with my mom’s scarf and it didn’t work out. Oh well.

January 15th- Gave my mom her scarf today, she loved it. She took it to her job and showed her co-teacher. Finished Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated today. Great show but I have so many feelings about it.

January 16th- Sent my name and pronoun email to most of my professors for this next semester. One professor isn’t listed yet and the other professor I just forgot to email. Two have already responded and neither of them really seem to be an issue. Might look for a tutorial for Unreal Engine to walk me through it so that I can get a better grasp on it. Started feeling bad towards the end of the day. I’m not even sure what triggered it but I just started to feel like I needed to hate myself and I don’t know why. Downloaded Unity to play around with and I found a project guide that I’m hoping to follow.

January 17th- Contacted Canvas support to have my display name changed on my account. Got my hair cut today- really need to find a way to keep my hair shaved I don’t like how it looks when the sides and back start growing out. Spent two hours today transcribing a cassette tape from some murder mystery dinner party game my mom and I found at a thrift store. Two hours and three and a half single-spaced base template typed in paragraphs pages.

January 18th- Went to the Happy Place today with my mom and some other people. It was awesome, going to be posting pictures on my main blog probably some time soon.

January 19th- Today was the first Pokemon GO Community Day of the year and the pokemon was Piplup. Got 12 shinies- including a couple three stars that I evolved. One of my goals for this year is to go to at least six community days. I also spent some time with my mom trying to figure out how to do a special presentation thing for her sub this week. My great grandma called to keep us updated about my great grandpa, not the greatest news but not the worst. My mom mentioned my name to her and apparently she’s going to try and remember it. My mom isn’t using my pronouns and I don’t know if it’s because it’s difficult for her or because we were in public spaces with people who don’t know my pronouns. I sent my name and pronoun email to my Independent Study professor today, she’s the least of my worries on how she’ll react. 

[nonbinary-knight-evolving]

Introduction to this Blog

I don’t know if this blog will work the way that I want it to work but it’s worth creating it to see. This blog is, hopefully, going to be a way to make sure that I stick to my goals for 2020.

I want to use this blog as a way for me to track my mood and day as I do everything. There are a couple of things I’m hoping to include such as a weekly to-do list, a daily (or weekly) journal entry, and an updated monthly tracker to keep track of my general mood and feelings during the month. I might also include certain habits that I’m hoping to track as well.