nonchalantesque-blog

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goodbye blog. I luv u

and you know what folks, with those last posts, I am saying goodbye to this sweet, little blog.

blog, thank you for listening me to when I was sad, & thank you for helping me recover from my minor dilemma just by existing. 

to my two followers, thanks for allowing me to spam your feed, I guess. 

and with a final goodbye to this blog, I put an end to the cryptic messages I delivered to the girl (you know who you are). I will always cherish our virtual, ambiguous letters that weren’t so ambiguous.

adios 

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I’ve been on a no fling, no relationship, no sex spree for a - very - little while now. here are my thoughts

pros: no commitments, no suffocation from a relationship, no guilt, no drama, more time for self-love, more time to appreciate pals

cons: no affection, no orgasms (this is a tough one my dudes), harder to cure impending loneliness that accompanies human existence

it’s really good for me to be my own, but in the end, i’m not entirely on my own - thank you friends

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:-)

I have been blogging a lot, but soon this will come to an end, and it is for the best. I have truly never felt as content and peaceful as I have during the past few days, and I am so excited for this to continue. 

I realize that while who I am now is questionable, I have a lot of potential, and working towards becoming a better version of myself will be so productive and hold so many surprises. 

I know that the most beneficial thing for me to do now is to mellow out, go with the flow, and enjoy the beauty that comes along with little moments and temporary situations, people, feelings, etc. There is something to be said for living in the moment, as cheesy as it may be. I want to be uninhibited. I want to vocalize my best thoughts. I want to tell people how I feel. I want to laugh with my pals. I want to live or what is happening now as opposed to living and being consumed by thoughts of the future. 

My pals doubt how long my optimism will last, but I think I can surprise them, and more importantly, surprise myself. I’m just ready to enjoy my meaningless existence.

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not sad, just contemplative. what do I really want here?

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you ever hear something that’s kinda like, iffy? or like, you’re left feeling iffy? me too my dude

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EVERYTHING is a mindset

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come over here sit next to me

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you’ve heard of a bitch in heat, but have you heard of a bitch in love?

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it has taken me too long to realize the importance of self love, but in this moment, I feel as though I have gotten there. I think life will be substantially pleasant from here on out. 

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@ my girl madison

there will be people who come into your life and will teach you how to love by not loving you. lessons can come in painful and mysterious ways like this; pay attention and listen to the messages life’s trying to teach you.

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just saw the most ridiculous post that read “give me greatness or give me nothing at all”

why do people expect so much of others? having a horrible flashback to my ex. relationships are not about expecting someone to give you the world; relationships can only be successful if you give yourself the world so that your person can be a sweet little addition to your vie and not your everything

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girls are okay i guess

april fools!!! they’re ethereal goddesses!! every one of them!!

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me: I mean like I can totally be alone I can do this independence is so cool an-

also me: Allan Rayman was right all along - god is a woman

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two thousand miles

and an ocean way

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call me by your name

today I made the questionable decision to watch call me by your name. was NOT prepared to hear Sufjan vocalize those sorrows. overall, mother fucking depressing film, still very good. the end had me déprimée for a good thirteen minutes (yes, it ended with visions of gideo). also, kind of got recurring a molestation vibe as the older dude was significantly older and more developed. IT IS FINE THOUGH. the love was pure

and I’ll call you by mine 

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*talking to a gay couple*

So which one of you is… you know… the one who doesn’t fucking text back?

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I never wanted to say this but candles are overrated. My room is supposed to smell like sandalwood and coconut not a goddamn third degree burn