nonranghaes

[nonranghaes]

"you can stand a little closer if you need to." jihoon looks over to you, holding his umbrella a little bit higher as the two of you wait in the rain for seungcheol to pick you up. his heart is racing a little faster in his chest, but he doesn't mind. not if it keeps you dry as you're hugging your bag closer to your chest.

"are you sure?" and when he nods, he sees the little step you take over, enough to not be pressing right against him but enough that you're a little more covered. "thank you."

he just hums in acknowledgement. this is... a little new, at least. the two of you have been close for a while now, but it feels weird to be waiting like this. he's introducing you to his friends tonight, and your car is currently in the shop for a couple problems (hence why seungcheol is not only picking both of you up, but also dropping you off at home later since it's on the way back to his and jihoon's apartment), and he's... nervous, to say the least. he knows they'll like you. he likes you, and that's enough for them. and he knows you'll like them, because you know how much they all mean to him.

but... still. his nerves aren't rooted in anything tangible. he just needs to see it to believe that everything will go smoothly. he reaches forward with his free hand, hand curling around your bicep as you keep your bag clutched to your chest. you look over with a tiny smile, and you take another little step closer to him, pulling one hand away from your bag so that you can hold his.

cute. he just settles in with a glance at his watch before he lets the city fade away again, calmly existing in this moment alone with you and the rain.

[nonranghaes]

jisung wraps his arms around you as he stands behind your chair, practically melting into you as he leans around to press a kiss against your cheek. "honey..." his voice is soft. "you've been staring at a blank document for thirty minutes."

you have. and it bothers you. but the moment you turn around to where jisung can look at you, you see the way he grows more concerned. you're tired, to say the least, and everything feels like it hasn't been working lately. you just need to get things done, and they slip through your fingers too easily.

"this isn't due for a few days," he says quietly, turning your chair away from your computer. you don't fight when he takes your hands, despite the fact there's a part of you that wants to argue about getting your grad school work done early... and maybe it's because you know what's coming. "let's go for a walk together," he says. "maybe we can get dinner while we're out?"

he doesn't say it out loud. but the two of you have felt this feeling before and seen each other through it to know what all of this means. honey, you're burning out. let's take a break before it gets worse. "okay." you squeeze his hands, and then let go of them to rub at your eyes for a moment. "a walk sounds great, actually."

he presses a quick, clumsy kiss against the corner of your lips before he goes to change into something a little more presentable. but he meets you at the door and takes your hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze before he presses another kiss against your cheek. i've got you.

you just squeeze his hand back and give him a tired smile. at least you have him.

[nonranghaes]

heads up: food mentions

"so... this is really all you want this year?"

soonyoung's head rests in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair. he's shut his eyes by now, leaning into your touch with this subtle smile as the two of you enjoy a lazy afternoon together. you already have plans to go out for dinner and a movie later, but for now... it's just the two of you, cozily resting together.

"i like spending time with you," he says. "it's not like we're not doing anything today."

"i know, but..." you cup his cheek. "i always feel bad for not doing more."

"i love the jacket you bought me," he says. "you're doing enough. besides... i know about the 'surprise' mini cupcakes you hid."

with a pout, you stop messing with his hair for a moment. "but... i hid them really well."

"you did," he giggles, sitting up. "vernon found them when we were all hanging out yesterday, and wanted to make sure we didn't forget about them since you--" he pokes the tip of your nose, "--apparently ate one of them."

shit. "i didn't think you'd notice!"

he just giggles, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "you're cute. but spending today with you is enough this year. i think i've needed to rest more." he wraps an arm around you, drawing you in a little closer. "and resting with you makes it easier. i don't feel as bad taking time for myself if i'm also making sure you're doing well."

with a blissful sigh, you settle in, wrapping an arm around him and shutting your eyes. "as long as you mean that. happy birthday, soonyoung. i love you."

[nonranghaes]

even in a crowded room, jun somehow seems to settle next to you. it's not the first time, and, sure, maybe he should expect that someone will always make room for him to sit next to you considering you're together, but... he sees the way jeonghan glances up, and immediately gets up to take the mic and turn seungkwan's solo into a duet. and jun thanks him quietly, although he's sure he doesn't hear it, and settles into the spot next to you. you lean into him, head resting on his shoulder because he's home to you, and he just rests an arm around you before pressing a quick kiss against your forehead.

it's nice. after this, whoever wants to get food will go out for it with the two of you (he knows seungcheol will: he's already offered to cover jun's meal and your own as well, since you had to coordinate with so many people for karaoke alone). he'll keep pretending he didn't see the receipt for your plane tickets in your email when you asked him to check and see if your library holds came in. and he'll kiss you when you surprise him with them when you get home.

your lips press against his cheek, and he looks at you with a smile. "hey," you whisper to him, close enough that he can hear you. "happy birthday. sorry i couldn't get everyone together a few days ago."

"it's okay." he kisses your forehead again, snuggling in close to you. "it's perfect. thank you."

a camera flash catches his attention, and he looks over to see mingyu giggling with minghao over something. he shows him the picture of the two of you, cozily cuddled together, and mouths that he'll send it to him along with the other pictures from the entire night.

and for a moment, jun feels the love in the room that's always there when all of you get together. and he just smiles, pressing another kiss against your cheek as he settles into the feeling of being at home with some of the people he loves the most.

[nonranghaes]

oh my god i forgot jun day

[nonranghaes]

minho is gentle as he sets down another stack of fabric squares onto your desk, already picking up the next piece of fabric to cut down for you. releasing the pedal, the steady sound of the sewing machine running halts immediately as you pull this chain free before snipping the threads. he says nothing at first as he focused on measuring to cut this piece down, too, so that you can add two more columns to your quilt...

but he notices you staring. "hm?" he blinks, brushing his hair back from his face. "you hate this part."

you do. cutting fabric, no matter how long you've done it now, intimidates you still. you push through it anyway, careful as can be (and sometimes it results in you buying more fabric if you mess up badly enough), but it's always going to be your least favorite part. minho goes back to what he's doing for about half a second before you reach out, fingers brushing against his arm as he looks up again.

"you don't have to," you say quietly. "i can finish the rest myself when i'm done with these."

he just ruffles your hair with a soft smile, turning back to the fabric again. "you're working on that. i'll finish this part for you. i don't mind."

so you settle back into your chair, turning back to the next stack of squares you need to chain together. with a sigh, you line them up, and get back to work... and maybe make a mental note to steal a kiss from him when he's done, just as a quiet thanks for making things easier for you.

[nonranghaes]

you... come here a lot, don't you? seungcheol just watches from the top of the steps of this ice rink, hands in his jacket pockets as he watches you. he can't really talk: he doesn't carry his skates anymore when he comes here. jihoon just lets him in so that he can watch people skate for a bit, maybe dream a little of the old days. but you... you pay the fee. you rent skates. and then you sit and watch. he asked jihoon about you once, but jihoon didn't know that you don't skate when you come here. maybe they're nervous.

so seungcheol moves. he slowly descends the steps, slowing until he's closer to you. "aren't you going to skate?"

you jump, turning to face him, ice skates set on the floor between your feet. "i... no, i'm just--" you're flustered, but you turn back to the near empty rink. soonyoung is calling out to chan to neaten up his turns. you look away from him, hands in your lap as you fiddle with your fingers. "i'm too clumsy."

seungcheol slowly sits down next to you. "do you want to learn?"

"i..." you finally look at him, and realization hits. ah. so you're a fan in general. "you're..."

"hi." he smiles at you a little. "i can teach you, if you want."

you turn your gaze away, so visibly nervous. "but you don't skate anymore, right? ever since..."

there's a faint pain in his knee he thinks will never fully disappear, twinging as if to prove your point. "i can still teach you."

so you look up, and then nod. "okay. how much do i--"

"don't worry about that," he says with a chuckle. "let's start small." he offers a hand out to you. "i'm seungcheol, by the way."

he knows you know. but you shake his hand, letting go to actually put on your skates now as you give him your own name. when you face him again, you're smiling. "i look forward to learning from you, seungcheol."

[nonranghaes]

heads up: medical fatphobia, plus size reader stated to have pcos

for the past half hour, chris has given you your space as you've sat outside on his balcony. he doesn't need to ask you what was said: he was sitting right there next to you the entire time. and now he realizes why. your primary care physician is great, you've told him: she listens to you, and you feel safe with her. the last annual you had, she made a minor note that weight loss could help, and didn't harp on it any further.

but now... he remembers what you said on the way to his car. that this endocrinologist visit, the first one ever for you, felt... dehumanizing. the weight loss meds she decided to throw you onto without so much as asking literally anything about you, and the way she kept talking as if it was a done deal. it felt... gross, to say the least, watching her talk more about your weight than your pcos diagnosis--the most she spared for the topic was a confirmation due to prior blood tests before returning right back to talking about your weight.

he slides the balcony door open, sits down next to you, and rests his hand over your own. "... this isn't the first time, is it?"

"nope." you clench your jaw to keep from crying. you did that the entire way home. he doesn't think you notice that he noticed. "far from it."

chris just wraps an arm around you, pulling you in, and you're already breaking as you cry into his shoulder. "i'm sorry. we'll find someone else." he presses a kiss against your head. "okay? we'll call once your labs come back and see someone else."

you don't say anything, but you don't need to. not anymore. you just hold onto chris and let it all out. you can air your frustrations to him out loud later: for now... he's got you. maybe it really will be okay.

[nonranghaes]

there is a fic inside me ill write when i get home

[nonranghaes]

ngl rereading short changbin fic reminds me of the ex friend i hate who, while i was venting to her abt my fears of never being able to trust someone romantically again (yknow, as one victim of abuse to another) that she basically told me i had it better bc i could “imagine being held without squirming”

and at the time i just felt bad but in hindsight im like. thats literally a huge leap to make considering i still struggle to accept the idea of actually being held by someone bc i want it so badly but the idea of someone seeing me and actually wanting to cuddle w me??? mortifying. why would u play trauma olympics while someones venting to u. i get it might have been a well-meaning “it could be worse” but also…… thats going past “i can relate to this struggle” and right into “ur problems are less bad bc i have it worse”

[nonranghaes]

tmi (medical stuff)

yesterday i was like wow the pap was pretty painless and quick, why was i so anxious and now im like augh. sore.

[nonranghaes]

heads up: implied abuse in reader's past

changbin feels the way your fingers trace over his bicep, and all it takes is him turning his head in your direction to see that you're staring off into space. you don't look at him in any way, not to meet his gaze or recognize that he's awake and next to you in bed, but that's okay. he turns onto his side, your hand just rest there at his waist now, thumb slowly dragging across the fabric of the shirt he's wearing. as much as he wants to hold you... you asked for a little space. just because things are getting a little hard again.

it's not his fault: you've told him that. opening yourself up again is... always hard, unfortunately, no matter how many people you've dated since that person.

"are you in space?" he says quietly after a moment, hoping that it'll lighten the mood just a little bit. "i think jisung has a spaceship i can use."

it makes you chuckle a little; one of those weak, barely a second long sounds that's more air than sound. but it works, at least a little bit, as your smile falls just as quickly as it came.

"hey," his voice is soft as he reaches up to fix the collar of your shirt. "i can go sleep on your couch. it's okay."

"don't." you squeeze his hip just a little, finally meeting his gaze. "i feel safer when you're here. i just need a little time to get used to that."

safety is new to you. his heart lurches in his chest a little. "can i kiss you?" he says it just as softly as before. when you nod, he leans forward to kiss your forehead before settling back in. "you know you're stronger than you think, right?"

you don't. you do. it's just... hard to swallow that as anything other than a opinion you hear from far too many of your friends for it to feel real. but they mean it. changbin means it. maybe it's time to start believing in it, at least a little bit. fake it until you make it, right?

"and i'll protect you," he says softly. "okay? all you have to do is call me and i'll come running," he extends his pinkie to you. "i promise."

it's silly, but you lock your pinkie around his own. he draws your hand in so that he can kiss your knuckles, and then he scoots back, pulling a pillow down between the two of you. oddly enough, it brings you a sense of relief almost immediately. changbin is safe. as much as he enjoys cuddling you any other part of the day, he knows how hard of a step this can be.

"better?" he says after a moment. "i don't mind. i promise."

and you just take his hand, holding onto it tightly across the little pillow wall between the two of you. "yeah," you say quietly. one day, you'll feel more comfortable cuddling with him at night. with letting him be close to you in private, more than just the way you cuddle during movies. but for now... this is what you need. you just squeeze his hand one last time before settling in to bed. "better."

[nonranghaes]

jisung presses a kiss against the back of your neck before he goes back to massaging your shoulders. you're putty in his hands now as the fatigue hits you all at once, and he just supports you as best as he can.

"it's okay," he says with this soft amusement to his voice. "we're the same, you know." another peck against your neck, and he abandons massaging your shoulders for wrapping his arms around you. "i'd be drained, too."

it's not much... but it means more than he knows to know that he's like you. a twin flame, an introvert who can deal with people and then burn out a little quicker than others can. you like your alone time just as much as he does... although it didn't take long for the two of you to realize that neither of you get nearly as drained when you're around each other as you do with other people. you just snuggle into his arms, shutting your eyes for just a moment.

jisung just cuddles you a little more, face pressed against your neck and shoulder. "should we nap? i wouldn't mind a nap with you if you wanted one."

that... actually sounded great. you draw one of his hands to your lips so that you can kiss his knuckles. "i'd love a nap with you."

jisung kisses your neck one last time before he untangles himself from you, hands finding your own as he guides you off of the couch with a cute glimmer in his eyes. "then let's nap," he giggles. "i'll set a few alarms."

[nonranghaes]

heads up: food + reader can be picky with food sometimes

mark sees the frown on your face after eating the first bite of cake, and immediately he's already getting up. "alright... i'm gonna go back for the shortcake."

"no, baby--" you look up at him, pouting at him. "it's fine. i'll be fine."

mark takes your face into his hands. "baby. it's your birthday. the least i can do is go back for the cake you wanted. think of it this way," he sits back down again. "you tried something? and i know how you are about food sometimes."

"it's late." you place your hands over his own, gently pulling them from your face. "you don't have to."

"i want to." his eyes twinkle a little, and he presses a quick kiss against your lips. "hey. happy birthday. i'll be back with your shortcake... and i'll eat this when i get back," he nods toward the slice of cake next to you, two small bites taken from it. "so we both get something sweet today and nothing goes to waste, yeah?"

with a sigh, you let him go. "you're sweet, you know."

he shoots you little finger guns as he makes his way back, nearly running straight into the wall on the way out. but he laughs at himself, and it's enough for you to laugh a little as you call out to him to be careful. maybe years ago, you would have forced yourself to eat something you disliked... but not with mark. mark, who just cheeses at you and is proud of you for expanding your horizons a little, no matter whether you like something or not. mark, who indulges your sweet tooth with his existence at this point.

and maybe you'll let him get a bite of shortcake later, just to see that goofy smile before he steals another kiss from you.

[nonranghaes]

i think im going through writers block bc while i Can force myself to write (and admittedly have been for the bday event on wooahaes)........ its been a huge struggle and going from writing creative stuff to writing for my finals has been. Hard.

also why the fuck did my final projects both fall on the week of my birthday smh :/

[nonranghaes]

heads up: food mentions

despite the way he's pawing your side of the bed for you, yoshi knows where you are the moment he inhales. the smell of breakfast hangs in the air, and he wrinkles his nose as he pulls the blankets back over him a little more. it's sweet. really, it is: he knows you're doing this because it's his birthday and you always take it as an excuse to spoil him as much as you can. but maybe he's a little greedy and he'd rather have you curled up in his arms now, holding you a little bit longer before either of you have to face the world.

no matter. he rolls out of bed after another minute of quiet pouting, as though it'll bring you back to him. he finds his way to you eventually, now dressed and ready for the day. his friends won't be stealing him away for another few hours... so he's more than content to peck your check while you're plating breakfast for the two of you.

"good morning," he mumbles, and then wraps his arms around you for a second. "thank you for cooking."

"it's your birthday, silly," you stop what you're doing for just a moment, leaning against him. "i was going to do breakfast in bed, but..."

"that's okay," he presses another kiss against your cheek, this time a little closer to your ear. "can we watch movies tonight?"

"it's your birthday," you repeat. you abandon your task entirely now, turning to wrap your arms around him. "i'll buy snacks while you're out." after a moment, you cup his cheeks. "you're so pretty. i'm glad you're in my life."

you've never been the kind of person who only ever says 'happy birthday' by itself. it's always things like this: that you're happy he's alive, that he's here, that he gets to brighten people's days. he just nuzzles his nose against your own before kissing you proper. "thank you," he says in a all-too-small voice, smiling bashfully. "i'm glad you're in my life, too."

[nonranghaes]

WAIT NO IM GOOD ITS TODAY not the 14th

oh shit i forgot yoshi day