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Emma: *bursts into the room* You two are having sex!

Lesso: We are? Clarissa, why didn’t you tell me? I’d have put my book down.

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i’ve finally finished reading book six of the school for good and evil.

it’s might have been a time passing of perhaps a year through the last three books but seems that lesso and dovey died so much time apart and that it was so long ago 🥲

i mean, manley as the evil dean? soman kill me, i wanted sheeks!!!!!!

and who’s the dean of good now? it was never mentioned, or was it emma? or uma? i can’t recall and i read it yesterday

as an experience, the last two books are amazing, and it had the ending it was supposed to have, good, but not actually amazing.

if hort had stayed dead (forgive me, i liked him so much too) it would have been more surprising and if sophie had become a great dean, would have been a thousand times better.

with hort’s death she could have accepted that she had had the chance to live her story and didn’t take it so it was time for her to do great for the next generation to not do the same as her

and don’t you think i take the shit of the apple

could never expect that would end up liking lady greemlaine

AND ALSO in my head it makes sense to say that both doveys (book and movie) are kerry washington but lesso’s book is nothing like lesso’s movie, so sorry, charlize was awesome but they’re nothing alike. and i have no idea how they’ll manage it without uma, manley, castor and pollux, it was like the school had only three teachers at all

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Me after Lesso called Rafal 'my love':

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Lesso: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Dovey: What?

Lesso: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Dovey: Can we go back to the part where you said "when I get murdered"?

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Clarissa: Ask me why I love you.

Leonora, rolling her eyes: Why do you love me, Princess?

Clarissa, pulling out a 200 page presentation: I’m glad you asked—

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Emma: My relationship with Lesso is always either “I’ll help you hide the body” or “do not even breathe in my direction”, there is no in between.

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Clarissa: HELP! I TOLD LESSO I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT, BUT I CAN'T COOK

Emma, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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Lesso: Thanks for agreeing to see me.

Emma: I didn’t. You just walked into the room and started talking.

Lesso: I don’t have time for a history lesson.

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Lesso: My heart has been hurting lately.

Anemone: It can't be! How?

Lesso: I felt the first pain in-

Anemone: I'm not talking about it. Where did you get your heart from? I thought you didn't have it.

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Ravenna: Mom, can I throw a tomato at Manly?

Lesso: No, you can't throw food. Hold the knife.

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Blood runs thicker than water

Mother Figure! Lady Lesso x Never Student! F! Reader A/N: This fic will be loosely based on the books and the movie and yes parent's weekend is a thing in this world just consult the Ever Never Handbook bc that is the reason I got this idea in the first place. Also soft Lesso!! Warnings: Never student from an Ever family, mentions of parental abuse Words: 1411

The sound of excited Nevers and Evers filled the Theater of Tales. Parents Weekend had fallen upon the school, most students excited to see their parents if they were still alive. 

Sitting on the decaying pews with your peers, you scanned the room for your mother’s signature blue dress and your fathers sage suit. You hadn’t written any letters home fearful of how your parents would react. The only Never from a long line of Ever’s. Just imagining the disappointment and hatred in your family's eyes made you flinch. 

The sound of heels made you stand from the pews, the sound of heels hitting the marble sounded much different than the staff, they sounded meaner but it was a different sound than what Lady Lesso’s heels made. 

You walked down from the pews black boots making the decaying wood creak. You shoved your hands into the pockets of your black pants. You wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. Walking over the side littered with happy Ever’s and their parents. You spotted your parents, they were kind of hard to miss. 

Your mother in her elegant blue gown, not a blemish or wrinkle on her smooth skin. Your father by her side in his sage colored suit. The perfect fairy tale couple, your mothers eyes scanned the crowd of Ever girls looking for you. You stood on one side with your peers not allowed to cross over to the other. Your father spotted you and nudged your mother, catching her attention. Her eyes fell on you and a scowl graced her lips, your father indifferent like he always had been. 

They slowly made their way over to you. To anyone else it would look just like disappointment graced her features but you knew she was fuming. 

“ (y/n), dear. No wonder you didn’t write home,” you could hear the sourness in your mothers voice. “You're a never. Where did we go wrong?” She sighed but the smile returned like she didn’t hate you like you hadn’t ruined her life. 

That’s what you were always told as a child. That’s what she would say when she yelled and screamed at you. All you wanted was for her to be proud, and here you were class captain and ‘1’ ranks all across the board. 

The two deans came out onto the stage at the front of the room and you walked back over to the pews, hands still shoved in your pockets. 

“Hello parents and guardians, I am Professor Dovey. Dean of the School for Good.” Dovey’s voice carried through the room. Her golden gown shimmering. 

Dot leaned back in your direction and looked up at you, “So (y/n) where are your parents? I thought you said they were coming.” The girl said while shoving chocolate in her face. You put your head down to look at her, hair curtaining your face, and instead of your usual smile a scowl graced your lips.

“ Oh, they’re here dot,” You said bitterly as you looked up at where the Ever’s sat. “You see the woman with the blue ball gown and the man next to her that almost looks like Professor Sader?” Dot nodded “Those are my parents. I come from a long line of Ever’s.” 

Dot looked at you and so did Hester. They thought you were joking but your face said otherwise. You turned your attention back to the two women at the front of the theater, tugging your long sleeves down to cover your hands. Almost everyone in your school had seen them, the scars but you still hid them. You didn’t need people asking questions, but you didn’t want your teachers asking questions. Especially Lady Lesso. You couldn’t help but feel like you would disappoint her too. 

The sound of people getting up and chatter filled your ears once again. Taking a deep breath.

Let's get this done and over with.

Walking past your peers to meet your parents. Once again an invisible barrier in between you. You could feel eyes on you. You assumed at least 2 of them were Dot and Hester. 

“ (y/n), dear I think me and your father are going to leave. I mean we don’t really have any reason to stay.” Your mother said as a frown graced your father’s stoic expression. You loved your dad, you really did. You don’t think you’ll ever truly understand how they ended up together but you wanted to spend time with your dad and you like the same thoughts consumed him.

“ Don’t have a reason to stay, really that's the best you got. I’ve worked my ass off trying to prove to you that I’m worthy of your love, but I will never be good enough will I?  I earned my spot as class captain, I earned all my 1st place ranks and no thanks to you. So go ahead and leave. I have friends who would actually enjoy my company today.” Your face was flushed and your breathing heavy. The last time you had talked back like this you had some nasty bruises all over your body.

The sound of skin hitting skin made everyone go silent as it echoed through the room. “Don’t you dare talk back to me young lady. I am your mother and will treat me as such.” Your mother had slapped you in front of hundreds of people. Students and parents alike. You were rendered silent, regaining your composure fairly quickly. You turned on your heel and quickly made your way out of the theater through the Nevers entrance. 

Tears rolled down your cheeks and you ran back to your dorm room. The sound of your boots hitting the floor, it was evident to anyone still in the building that you were running. Reaching your room you bust the door open and threw yourself onto your bed and just cried. You had been bottling up the emotions since day one but you just couldn’t take it anymore. You just wanted someone to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay. 

A knock on your dorm room door startled you. Wiping your eyes and cheeks off you opened the door and there you were met with the concerned face of your dean. 

“Lady Lesso, why are you here?” Instead of a response she pushed you into the room and shut the door behind her with a swish of her finger. 

She pulled you into her arms, “Tell me, tell me what they did to you.” The minute those words left her lips you burst into tears and told her everything. You told her about how your mother would scream and yell at you and how your father would tend and bind your wounds after your mother was finished unleashing her wrath onto you. 

Once you had finished spilling your heart out to your favorite teacher, she wiped your tears and smiled at you reassuringly.

“ You know that saying ‘Blood runs thicker than water’?” Lesso asked you 

You nodded, “ My mother says it all the time to justify the things she did to me.”

“ It’s a bunch of bullshit.” You smiled at her and nodded. You both walked out of your dorm room as she escorted you back to the Theater of Tales. 

As soon as you entered the theater with Lesso behind you. You turned and thanked her and before you ran over to your friends to meet their parents you heard Lesso whisper,

“ I could never be disappointed in you kid.” You smiled back at her as Dot and Hester enveloped you in their arms and Andail joined in on the group hug as well. 

Even though your parents were nowhere to be seen, Dot’s parents welcomed you into their family as if you were their own.

Maybe this Parent’s weekend wouldn’t be so bad and you knew that you could go to Lady Lesso for any and everything. She had shown you more love than your mother ever could. You would make her proud in any way you possibly could and you knew that your friends would help you achieve that goal.

When you looked back at your dean, you saw a small smile form on her lips before it disappeared. You knew she could never be disappointed in you and Dovey saw it too, just like she could never be disappointed in her students. Maybe Evil had a shot at winning this time around.

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also, she’s a single mom and a witch

Anemone: It's a pity that we abandoned medieval methods.

Dovey: From what methods exactly?

Anemone: From burning witches at the stake. We could burn Lesso, she's a redhead. Besides, it would be legal.

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A few memes on the School for Good and Evil

I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT!!!

And that my favorite

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Clarissa: I like my men how I like my coffee.

Lesso: But you don't like coffee...

Clarissa: Exactly.

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what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

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Dovey: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Lesso: Oh, you've been in jail?

Dovey: Once. In monopoly