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nosebleedsturn · 2 days ago

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forty-five ; the one where cami comes home

Words: 1,132

friday, january 24, 2025, 7:00 pm

vega renee veloz

i find myself in the aiport for the second time this month. the whole lot of us showed up, matt wanted to drive and it felt like old times again. me in the passenger with matt, cami and chris in the middle, and then nick and mal in the back. lucia sat back there too, i wasn't ready to leave her home alone yet. sam was supposed to meet us here, but his brother had a concert or something that he forgot about so he attended that instead. i assumed we'd all be getting together at some point anyway. despite my birthday literally being tomorrow, i don't feel like it. i don't feel any older and i doubt i will tomorrow either. everything just feels so surreal. chris and nick are holding a banner, and malerie is holding balloons and a abnormally large teddy bear. matt and i had the task of standing there and looking cute. i don't know, malerie's words not mine. lucia is sitting in one of the food shops getting a drink.

and then the dainty pink dressed girl comes into view, chris drops his side of the banner, giddily running up to her and embracing her. she lets go of her suitcase seconds before his arms wrapped around her. matt and i walk around and i let him take her suitcase and i wait for chris to let go. "hi baby." chris murmurs. matt and i look at each other, making fake gagging noises which makes malerie and nick laugh. chris doesn't think it's too funny though and threatens to not let go of her. "come on chris, you already get to have her in your bed tonight." i teased. camille blushed and patted chris on the back requesting to be let go. when he does, she switched her attention to me and we embrace. it doesn't take long for malerie to get mixed in.

i didn't realize how much i missed camille. of course, i knew i missed her. but i didn't even think about the fact that she'd only be here for the weekend and leave in two days. i don't even really want to think about that though, she's only been in la for three minutes so far and i'm already dreading watching her go.

after she breaks apart from us, she hugs nick. i take the carry on bag from her while she grabs the huge teddy bear, chris holds onto her hand tightly as we walk in the direction where we left lucia. "i'm excited to see lucia again... i haven't seen her since we were what, twelve?" cami asks, walking in step with me and matt, while chris stood on the other side as she tugged him along. "uh yeah, something like that." my tia had thrown her a birthday party, long before she had met her new husband. this was almost nine years ago, mal and i were twelve (and cami was eleven), it was lucia's sixth birthday. "is she still a brat?" cami whispered and i giggled. "kind of, but she's gotten better." camille smiled sweetly and nodded. "you're being a great cousin by watching her. i went and visited your mom and auntie in the hospital."

i stopped, making matt do the same automatically. cami paused as well, keeping chris from moving. "you did?" she nodded. "yeah i baked some cookies for your mom." i throw my arms around her neck, holding onto her tightly. "thank you."

"anything for you." the hand that was holding onto chris' loosened and wrapped around me waist, holding me for a second hug. she didn't tell me she was going to do that. but camille was never the kind to tell you when she was going to do something. ahem, keeping her performance a secret from chris. this is exactly why i love camille more than anything. she's too fucking sweet. i'll kill chris if he hurts her. so far, i haven't heard any negatives, but i know where he sleeps at night and i'm not afraid of going to jail. when we depart from the hug, nick and malerie were standing off to the side with lucia, sipping on her way too expensive starbucks drink. "are we ready to go, the bachelorette is on tonight and i missed last week's episode, i do not want to miss tonight's." lucia called, taking a break from her sipping. i nodded and cami and both smiled at each other. the four of us begin walking again while camille starts a conversation with lucia.

matt's fingers and mine dance across each other's while we walk through the airport together. i let them entangle before slipping my fingers through his, holding onto his hand tightly. i wrap my other arm around his, holding onto his bicep. he looks down at me in shock, that i was displaying something so obviously non-platonic in public. "what?" i asked innocently. "i've never held hands before." matt opens his mouth to say something but i look away, not in the mood for any conversation anymore. we walk like this until we get outside where we split ways and i go to the passenger seat and he goes to the drivers seat. the whole car fills up and it kind of feels like a family. lot's of laughter, talking, cami and chris flirting while we all make fun of them. it quiets a bit the longer we drive. matt stops at camille's favorite fast food restaurant, and we sit inside, talking and laughing and eating the whole time. it's weird to think that tomorrow's my birthday and no one has even asked me to do anything. not that i'm complaining, after all camille is here. i was just kind of hoping cami and malerie would want to go shopping or get our nails done or something simple. even all going out to dinner. but the topic of my birthday literally being tomorrow never came up once all throughout dinner. it was kind of weird how they all skipped over it like it wasn't there. unless they all forgot. which they couldn't because that was the whole reason camille had flown in right?

right?

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 4 days ago

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forty-four ; safeword

Words: 3,123

friday, january 24, 2025, 7:00 am

vega renee veloz

chris had been talking so much about camille coming home we were all rather over it. she still had to finish up her friday classes so she picked a later time. which was fine, considering it'd be either me or chris to pick her up, most likely chris since i have to get malerie and lucia to school in the morning's anyway. thankfully i don't have classes on friday's anymore, so my weekend is even longer. i was even thinking about taking my monday class and changing it to thursday so i can have a four day weekend, but i don't really think i'm mature enough. i'd probably never go to school again.

even though chris seemed to be more excited to see cami than mal or i, we too were practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. it was going to be a bit weird though that she wouldn't be spending the weekend in her own bedroom, she was going to be staying with chris. like okay buddy, calm down. but we obviously have to make a big spectacle of her being back. we're making banners, glitter explosives, i've ordered her a welcome home gift, bought her favorite drinks and snacks. i know she's technically only going to be here for three days, but still. it's the most i've seen of her since she left. we haven't really talked much, but i think that's the best thing about camille, no matter how little you talk, when you see each other again it's like no time has passed. sometimes i wish i could be more like her. carefree, open, gentle.

I herded malerie and lucia into the car quickly. i hadn't even gotten the chance to get dressed. malerie had to wake me up. since mal doesn't have a car anymore we carpool during the weekends. she doesn't have classes on monday's anymore, she finished that portion or her curriculum, so i just pick her up and drop her off, or we share the car depending on class time's and thing's like that. sometimes it gets a little messy. like on thursday one of my professors canceled class like three minutes before i stepped foot into the building, and mal had already driven off in the direction of her college so i was stranded and had to request for matt's assistance to pick me up since sam was at work at that time.

lucia wouldn't stop making fun of me after she found out how i got home. ("matt loves you, matt loves you!") i don't even know where she got that from. matt never told me what they talked about, i tried texting and calling him about it but he kept changing the topic. it's fine, lucia didn't get in trouble thursday, and hopefully today goes well also. mal's school was closer than mine, but in the opposite direction of lucia's, so i just dropped her off first considering her being late was more important than mal being late. "have a good day, make good choices!" i called as she opened the door. "yeah yeah, bye vega. give matt a big kiss for me." she giggled, slamming the door soon after her exit. "oh!" malerie gasped sending me a look. i shake my head and watch as she walks into the school before the cars ahead of me move aside and i follow after them in the line. "she has the obsession with matt and i dating."

"well it's a long time coming."

"there is nothing between matt and i!"

"vega, you made out with the man during movie night-"

"i did not!" i shrieked, smacking her shoulder as i pulled out of the parking lot with precision. school parking lots are actually my personal hell. do parents not know how to drive once their tires roll in or something? or does my kid just go to school with people who have idiots for parents? "oh please, 'matt, can you come in here and grab me this jacket on the top shelf of my closet," malerie said in a weird accent, like she's mocking me. my jaw drops in shock. "it's my favorite jacket and i threw it up to the top of my closet the other day!"

"babe i've seen your closet, it's not that big. and even then, miss 'i can do it all on my own', when have you ever needed a man to help you?" malerie's eyebrows raised in challenge. "i will kick you out of my car and make you walk to school." i threatened but it was an empty threat and mal knew that, but she dropped it for the most part. "do you think you'll ever go somewhere with matt?" i immediately shook my head no which seemed to shock mal for some reason. "what?"

"it's just gonna cause problems, i need to focus on school and lucia and my family."

"you can have fun you know."

"oh yeah, like you and vincent?" i shot her a glance and she snickered. "yes like me and vinnie. you should try it, it's fun sometimes."

"i have having fun malerie. i just cannot commit to anyone. it's too soon." i shrugged. "you broke up two years ago."

"and we dated for almost three... i just need time." our conversation wavered out there and i dropped malerie off at her college and then headed back to the house. as soon as i park i get a text from matt.

matthew: you busy?

vega: depends on what you consider busy.

matthew: you just pulled up to your house to i don't know

vega: are you stalking me matthew?

matthew: no!

matthew: but seriously... busy?

i sigh and unbuckle, leaving him on read for a second. i grab my purse and get out of the car.

vega: why matt.

matthew: let's hang out

matthew: and don't say no, just here me out please!

i groan and slam the door shut, walking to the front door. all i really wanted to do was edit my youtube video and take a nap until it was time to pick camille up from the airport. unless chris was going to be an asshole and sneak off without us and pick her up on his own.

matthew: don't walk into your house. answer me

i pause and glance over at his house but the curtains were down in the living room meaning he wasn't watching me from there, the garage was closed as well. literally how is he doing this.

vega: what are you planning on doing then.

matthew: we can literally do nothing if you want but i kinda wanna celebrate your birthday just us. i feel like i won't get to see you all to myself this weekend.

vega: matt.

matthew: don't matt me i'm serious vega.

vega: we're just friends

matthew: friends hang out all the time on their own. they don't always need a group of people.

matthew: cmon please please pleasee

vega: oh my fucking god be at my place in five minutes or i swear to go matthew!

matthew: open your door.

a loud gasp escapes from between my lips and my mouth drops open in shock. that fucker used nick's key to get into my house? i twist the handle and push the door open with ease. matt is sitting on the stairs. "what the fuck are you doing?" i erupted in anger, but it was only to scare him, i wasn't really mad. matt giggled, standing up from the stairs. "hi baby."

"don't call me baby."

"hi vega." matt repeated, this time using my name. he brings me into a hug that i don't reciprocate. "were you stalking me through my own living room windows?" i asked pulling away from his hug first. "and the peep hole." he grins. i kick the door shut with my foot and shake my head. "what are you doing in here you freak? you broke into my house."

"it's not breaking in if i have a key." he held the silver key up in his hands, above him, taunting me. "that key is a privilege, not a right, i can take it away when you're being annoying." i try reaching up to take the key but matt backs up a bit and then slides it into his back pocket. he's dressed in a black denim jeans.

i pull him in by one of his belt loops, the other one was occupied by the silver ring of keys. he's hot and he knows it, but i can't let him know i know it. "w-what are you doing?" one of my hands wraps around his neck, tugging his head down so we're face to face. my other hand, i delicately slide up his tattooed arm, covered by his thick black jacket. "vega." matt asked when i didn't respond. "shhh matt, enjoy it." i whispered, sliding my hand down his arm and carefully sliding into his back pocket. my fingers wrap around the key delicately. my eyes stay trained on matt's who looks like he's entranced by me. i can feel my heart beating so fast. i know this look, i've seen it before. i'm not quite sure if i'm ready to be looked at this way. i smile sinisterly, knowing i've got him right where i want him. quickly, i retract my hand, showing matt the proof. his eyes dart from mine to the key in my hand. i push matt away, darting past him and running up the stairs. "vega!" matt shouts during the ascent. his own shoes beat against the wood as the both of us run upstairs. i just need to get to my room or the bathroom and i can lock him out.

i run through the living room section, turn the corner past the kitchen and run into the small hallway. matt is literally right behind me, i can feel him. i'm not running very fast, there wasn't much time to pick up any momentum. matt doesn't seem to be running fast either, he could catch up to me easily.

i make the split second decision to shove my door open, quickly attempting to shut it after me. matt's black boot comes between the door and the wall keeping the door from shutting. i shriek, jumping back as the door practically bounced from the impact of his shoe. "matt, please stop it!" i giggled, trying to kick his foot out of the way. he doesn't even seem like he's fighting at all while i'm basically out of breath and fighting for my life over here. "i want my key baby."

"it's not your key, it's nick's!" i shouted, leaning against the door while matt rattled the door trying to push it open. my heart was beating so fast. the fact that he could easily overpower me was blatantly obvious, but he wasn't. he was letting me control the sped of everything. "and stop calling me baby!" i shouted, trying to rile him up further. it worked and matt pushed against the door even harder, shoving his way through. i had barely realized what was happening until the door had slammed shut due to the lack of force on the other side and i fell against it.

matt's body presses against mind quickly, i hardly get a second to catch my breath and his lips are covering mine. it's not slow, but it's not rough either. it's almost like he's telling me that i am his baby. i'm all his.

the key difference between this display of possession, was that it wasn't filled with jealousy or hatred, it was passion. it was something that is a lost art, something daniel lacked. our lips moved together in sync, heart beating rapidly at the fast pace of everything. matt's hand slips into mine and they both fight for the key. i close my fist around the silver key tightly, but matt bites down on my bottom lip causing me to gasp and his tongue slides in, his other hand, rests against the door, keeping me trapped between him. my hand, not enclosed around the key is bunched up holding his jacket to keep us from separating. i think this is the first time in years i think i'd rather die than let matt walk away from me right now.

which says a lot.

"let go of the key vega." matt whispers separating our lips for the first time in what felt like a decade. "no." i breathed in defiance. matt smirked, his hands dropped from mine and the wall and he bends down, scooping me up into his arms by my thighs. "what are you doing?" squealed. matt walked over to the bed, dropping me down in the center. cliche. i've never had a cliche happen to me before. "are you okay?" matt asks for consent and i nod. "i need your words, speak vega." matt's hand cups my jaw and i sucked in a quick. "yes, i'm okay."

"can i touch you?" i nodded fervently but the grip on my jaw tightened before releasing in a firm squeeze. words. i think i'm all out of words. "you can touch me." i nodded again, sucking in deep breaths so i don't forget how to breathe. matt moves to kneel on my bed, hovering over me gingerly. "i won't stop until you give me back they key, understand?" matt stares deep into my eyes, as dominant as he seems, his eye's are practically begging. it's like he's wrapped around my finger. "i understand." i confirm, gripping onto the key for some form of balance. i lay back on the bed as matt lowers down over me, kissing down my neck. it's so sloppy, but he's taking his time. "m-matt."

i have no fucking clue what he's gonna do and i don't know if i can handle it, but i trust him. is it a good idea to trust him? i guess you never know until you try right? despite never wanting to be in a relationship again, i've always wondered what it actually feels like to be worshiped. loved. and even if i don't date matt, this feels pretty fucking close to that.

i try shutting off my thoughts, focusing on the moment instead, you never know when something like this will happen again. if i'll even let it happen again. an overwhelming surge of sadness glooms over me. matt notices, probably from my sudden lack of physical response and the tenseness in my shoulders. me pulls back, one of his hands running down the side of my face with ease. "are you okay?"

"i'm fine, you don't gotta ask all the time." i sit up on my forearms but matt pushes me back down. "i do have to ask, you deserve to be comfortable." maybe he's just got a good way with words, but honestly, he's telling me everything i've ever wanted to hear. matt dips down again, kissing over my neck and open expense where my oversized off the shoulder top had slid down at some point. his kisses turn into bites and licks. i toss my head back giving him more room. "gimme the key vega." matt taunts in my ear. i smirk and shake my head. i really wanna know how far he's gonna go with all this.

we promised we'd be friends. and maybe malerie is right, maybe i did pull him aside just to make out with him the other day, but it was the weakest i had been, plus we hadn't seen each other all week. "don't wanna." i suck in a breath when matt bites down on a particularly good feeling spot. "oh fuck matt." my hand not holding the key reaches up and grips onto his shoulders. "i won't stop." matt whispered again and i shuddered. he slides down, pressing kisses over my clothes. oh i think i know where this is going. "matt wait a second."

"give me the key back." matt taunts. he kisses both sides of my hips. his flips my top up, just above my belly button and kisses the skin around the dainty jewelry. "matthew!"

"the key vega, you know i won't stop unless you tell me to... just give me back the key baby." matt slides off the bed, beginning to sit back on his knees but i shoot up, gripping his hair. i raise my hand, shoving the key in his face. "it's all yours matt." he grins up at me triumphantly. he kisses my sweatpants covered knee and stands up. "thank you baby." he transfers the key from my hand to his. "don't call me baby."

N O S E B L E E D S

Tags: let me know if u wanna be added I completely forgot that was a thing until rn

@aaliyah-sturns

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nosebleedsturn · 6 days ago

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forty-three ; dirty little secret

Words: 5,242

wednesday, january 22nd, 8:00 am

vega renee veloz

it literally hasn't even been a full week of lucia being here and she's already been to the principles office twice. it's only fucking wednesday. i just dropped her off at school and the line is long as fuck to get out of here. i'm gonna be late to class. again. 8:00 is the late bell meaning she's probably late and so will i. if we left at 7:30 like i requested, we'd be here early. and i get it, she hates school. but she can make new friends, cooler ones than in new york. they're probably just as rich as they are too so i don't know what's got her panties in a twist this early on. i mean, i know she's not used to being in one place for too long, but she's never been to la before, the least she could do is try and enjoy it. i don't know why she hates school so much. i go every day as well, and mine isn't free like hers is. i sighed, finally turning out of the parking lot. her ass is so lucky i haven't made devon drive her ass to school, i'm getting sick of it and it seriously only is wednesday.

devon is sam's younger brother. and as much as i'd enjoy having someone else take her to school so i'm not late, lucia can be very persuasive and devon isn't a bad kid. he has good grades, he's in a band to make money, he models for his brother's brand. he's a really nice kid. i think lucia would be a bad influence on him. not that lucia is a bad kid, but she's got an interesting way of speech that you literally just have to agree with her. there's so much power in a pretty girl.

although, she did complain to me that the guys here lack something that the italians don't. passion. all guys want nowadays are sex, which i can't disagree with. and sure, there's probably a lot of italian's that are sexually driven, but she explained that at least they had passion for women. the guy's here don't even pretend to like girls, they just hit it and quit it. she's smart too, has a better understanding of what i did when i was her age. if only i had her mentality at that age and everything that happened to me never would have happened in the first place.

i chew on my nails as i drive down the busy la morning streets. luckily my first period class isn't exactly an important one, it's actually just english and the teacher and i are quite good friends. i babysat her dog once when i saw the poster in the school cafe. my phone buzzes on it's little carrier and matt's name pops up. i reach over and quickly answer the call. "you okay?" i speak first and matt hums. "just wanted to tell you g'morning." i rolled my eyes and held in a giggle. "matt you're never awake this early."

"i know, i just miss you." he probably just woke up a few minutes ago. i can't even lie, i kinda miss him too. it's weird, we've spent the night with each other for like three days in a row and spent all our time texting or calling, but we haven't even talked much these past three days. i've just been so busy with lucia. but i guess it makes sense since we are just friends. and friends don't kiss or talk about their future together or sleep in the same bed every night or cuddle while watching rom-coms until 2 am. "that's very sweet matt, but i gotta go to school, i can't talk for long."

"what time do you get out of school? maybe we can do something together?"

"i can't matt, lucia's early day's are on wednesdays for some reason and i'm already gonna be like ten minutes late to pick her up cause i don't get out of school until 10:35 and she gets out at 12."

i can easily tell that neither of us are used to this. it's actually really fucking annoying. the pushing and the pulling. "maybe we can do something this weekend when camille gets here. we can all hang out in a group setting." i suggested hopefully. matt stays completely silent. my heart practically feels like a balloon with the way it feels deflated. i feel like no matter what i suggest it's not good enough for him. "okay, i guess i'll see you this week then." matt replied. "please don't be upset. i'm trying to be a good parent to lucia but i'm failing! i mean, she's been sent to the office every day this week. they're already threatening to suspend her if she gets another offense and the only other school is one town over in the opposite direction from my college."

"hey, i'm not mad baby, i just wanna see you."

"and you will... how about a movie night tonight instead? everyone can come over, we can be at my place or yours, a whole group sleepover-"

"vega i wanna be alone with you." i sigh and shake my head, tugging on my earing gently. i just changed it this morning to my usual dangle earring's. they're gold with little hearts, tiny diamonds covering the whole heart making it more shiny. "matt we can't. we're just friends, remember?" matt hums and the both of us fall silent. "alright i have to go get ready for a meeting... we can do the movie night tonight." matt spoke up again. "okay sounds good." this is probably the most awkward phone conversation i've ever had, and i'm not the best at phone calls. "hey matt." i call before i click the end call button. "i miss you too." i click the end call button. a shiver runs down my spine.

i know i've probably said more to him before, not that i can remember everything. i've been drunk or high too many times around matt it's embarrassing. the amount of times he's practically carried me to my bedroom. i know he probably doesn't mind, but i don't know. drunk words are sober thoughts, i know that. but now that i am sober, it's so fucking hard being able to tell matt some thing's. i'm not sure if it's because i'm afraid of him. afraid of being vulnerable. i guess i just have something else to talk to dr. tran about. lucia being annoying. keeping secrets from everyone. wondering what everyone's been hiding from me. falling for matt. letting a man into my life again. adjusting to the whole idea of being in a relationship. the possibility of daniel finally leaving me alone or if there's a chance he'll annoy me again. my tia being in the hospital. you know i didn't realize how much i actually had going on.

i guess i just have to focus on the good right now. paying attention at school, talking everything out with dr. tran, and seeing matt tonight, even if it's not exactly in a private setting like he requested. maybe we can sneak away and make out in my bedroom or something... oh... friends don't do that okay never mind. maybe i'll do it anyway.

11:15 am

matthew bernard sturniolo

vega's actually going to kick my ass. "i'll have the whole video edited by february, i think mid february." nick nods. our plans for tour were starting soon and we were in a meeting currently with management on how we wanted to promote the tour. the three of us agreed that it had to be in a video, a skit probably, like how we did it with the versus tour. it was going to be completely different, same funny and friendly energy, lots of energy, but in a more chill and relaxed way. the only problem is that in order to tour, we have to leave and go to multiple states and with vega being in school and taking care of lucia, i doubt she'd be able to come. plus, we're not even really dating. but i mean, i guess it'll be good if she decides she doesn't want to date me and then i can just go and focus on tour without having to wonder what she's doing right next door in the room that mirrors my own. i swallow the lump in my throat and nod. "sounds good to me." chris nods from beside me.

our meeting ends rather quickly after that, not really having anything else to say with one another. the dates were officially set in stone now and we leave to texas sometime late march. it makes me wonder if there's even a point in any of this anymore. i don't want to date vega for maybe a month and then just leave for the rest of march and all of april. a person can change a lot in a month. and long distance? chris and cami seem to be handling it all just fine, but vega and i are not chris and cami.

the drive back home is long and quiet. chris raps along to whatever music he's interested in at the moment. chris asked if he could drive but i told him no cause i needed something to fucs on that isn't me and vega.

chris turns his music down, staring at me intently. "alright, what's wrong with you?" it takes a second for me to realize he's talking to me. "there's nothing wrong." i didn't really want to talk about it anymore, or think about it and chris asking me all these questions is literally the opposite of what i want. "bullshit... you were all excited for tour but now you're in a mood and it's bringing everyone else down."

"i'm not bringing everyone else down!" i shouted. "my attitude shouldn't interfere with yours."

"well if you wanted to mope i could have driven."

"chris just leave him alone, clearly he wants to be in a mood right now." nick spoke up from the back making me roll my eyes. literally why do they feel the need to insert themselves into my life all the time? can't i have a personal moment to myself for once? "he probably just doesn't wanna leave vega when we go on tour." nick continued. i'm gonna punch him. "that's not it-"

"oh!" chris laughs loudly. get me out of here. "i wish cami could come too but she can't, she's busy with school." cami this, cami that, we get it! "it's not about vega."

"oh please, all your moods are about vega." i run a hand through my hair and push harder on the gas hoping we could speed past a few people on the highway and get home faster. "you javen't told her have you, cause it's kind of important because of all those thing's you wanna do for her.." nick asked from the back seat. i stay silent, giving nick an answer to his question which makes him gasp. "what?" chris asks, not understanding. "matt hasn't told vega we're going on tour yet."

"why does that matter?"

"well if he's trying to date her he can't just leave one month into their relationship!" nick shouted, reaching forward and smacking chris on the back of his head. "ow!" chris shouted, turning around and smacking chris. we come to a stop sign and i let the car roll forward a bit, letting them fight for a second before abruptly pressing on the break making chris and nick move forward when the car stopped, separating them from fighting. "can you fucking not, vega's inviting us to a movie night tonight. she needs a break and a distraction from lucille cause i guess she keeps getting into trouble at school." i told them. "you should tell her about tour matt."

"i have no reason to tell her cause we're just friends." chris looks back and forth between nick and i. "i have no idea what's going on."

"matt is afraid to tell vega about tour because he thinks it's gonna change her mind on being in a possible relationships with him, fucking hell chris!"

fuck nick's good at this shit. chris looked at me and i pressed on the gas, shooting us forward again. i nodded in confirmation. "well cami and i didn't date for long before she moved all the way across the country. there's a whole time zone in between us now, she's busy with school, i gotta film stuff for tour. we're both pretty busy."

"vega and camille are two very different people chris. cami probably doesn't mind the long distance but vega's a lot harder to understand. she keeps all her thoughts and emotions on the inside, cami's a lot easier to talk to." nick explained even more and chris nodded in understanding now. "that makes sense i guess. but seriously, you can't just not tell her and expect to keep it a secret and she'll be fine with it. we literally leave for tour in two months.."

"i know that chris! i'll just... tell her at the party this weekend and let her make the decision on her own... i just cannot believe there's one more fucking problem."

"you sure do keep a lot of secrets from her."

"they're good secrets nick!" at least most of them are.

2:30 pm

vega renee veloz

"thank you for meeting with me earlier dr. tran, i made plans for later with my friends and..." i wavered off, and dr. tran seemed to understand. "it's fine, monday's are always my slow days anyway. i usually have walk ins anyway." dr. tran waved it off too. "so, tell me what's happened since i saw you last monday?" i don't think she's ready for this.

"well matt and i kinda started dating at the end of the week, school's kinda been kicking me ass too. uhm my aunt got into an accident and her oldest daughter has to stay with me at my place now. it's kinda hard adjusting to the life of being a stand in mother... i never told her about... my ex. matt and i are taking a break too, i just think everything was going too fast, i didn't know what we were either and i don't wanna get my hopes up for nothing to happen."

"so there's a lot to unpack." dr. tran wrote down a few notes on her notebook before looking back up at me. "so, let's actually start off with your aunt and your cousin. what happened?"

"uhm... drunk driver i think. it was a hit and run, but the guy's car was too fucked up he didn't make it far. my aunt was driving forward and he came at her from the side. she had just headed out to work when it happened. and my mom asked if i could watch their eldest daughter. she's kind of a handful." dr. tran nodded, drawing something else on her note page. "i'm sorry about your aunt, it must be scary." i nodded. "uh yeah. it's not really a good time anyway."

"how so?"

"everything with matt... it's happening kind of fast and it makes me nervous i think?" dr. tran nodded again. "let's talk about matt later in our session. i think we should focus on your aunt and cousin for a bit if that's alright with you." i nodded in confirmation. "okay good. so tell me about your cousin, you said she was the eldest, does she have younger siblings?"

"a step sister," i explained. "she's got a baby sister. she's like three or four months now. i met her during thanksgiving, she was only a few weeks old then. and lucia she's... like i said, a handful."

"why are you watching lucia and no one else? why can't her father watch her, or your mother?"

"uhm my mom is taking care of the baby right now, she works from home except on the weekends, sometimes she goes into work on the weekends. but she can't watch lucia and a baby at the same time. lucia's not used to being in new york for too long, she's kinda a spoiled rich kid. she travels a lot with her step father." dr. tran sits silently, unpacking everything i said with ease. "so lucia has a bit of a big personality i assume?" i nodded. "yeah, she's gotten into trouble at her new school every day this week and the principle is already threatening her with suspension or expulsion if she keeps acting up." dr. tran's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "explain more please, how is she getting into trouble?"

"she just thinks she knows better than everyone and when things don't go her way she gets upset and lashes out."

"she's like you then." i shake my head no. "she's nothing like me, she's a lot better than me."

"you are getting better vega, i mean if you say you and matthew had something going on, that's a step in moving on, healing."

"i thought you said we weren't gonna talk about matt yet." i narrowed my eyes and dr. tran grins slightly. "i did, but my point still stands. you say you want to get better and heal and move past this, but you need to let yourself. you're afraid of stepping out of your own comfort zone. why are you taking a step back from matthew anyway?" i tug on my earring, deep in thought. i told him one thing, but i really mean something else. "i told him i just needed time to think." dr. tran hums. "and what do you think?"

"i... i think that he makes me feel the same way daniel did in the very beginning and i don't like that he makes me feel these thing's because i am afraid, i won't deny that. but i mean-" i cut myself off, not even knowing what to say afterward. my brain is a jumble of words and i can't think through anything properly. "continue when you're ready." dr. tran delicately guides me. "what you're telling me, honestly feels like a good direction to head into. you're taking the time to get to know him i assume, not rushing into thing's like you did with daniel?" i nodded.

"i mean, so far, there are no red flags. i'd like to think i know what to look for now. everything i saw in daniel that wasn't good. like how he didn't care that i didn't have a ride home. he didn't care about my figure skating competitions or shows. he didn't care when i failed a test in math. matt is like the complete opposite. he cares about the small thing's you know? i told him that i didn't want his money cause i needed some financial aid, and instead of just giving me money he gave me a job opportunity. and this was when we weren't speaking... he's just different and i've never experienced this before."

"if it's not too much of a bother, i'd suggest you do some couples counseling or therapy together. just to make sure everything really is good between you two. he sounds much better, but i've never met him or daniel, so i wouldn't know. it really i s your decision vega. just don't self sabotage like we talked about last session."

7:20 pm

even though i said that we could have a movie night, malerie, lucia and i still had school in the morning so movie night couldn't start or finish too late. the whole living room was filled with blankets, pillows, and the table had a bunch of snacks and drinks on it. malerie and lucia were in the kitchen, talking about school and boys. i was squashed in between nick and matt. chris was sitting on one of the big chairs, and malerie and lucia were going to sit on a different couch. malerie had invited vinnie and i thought to invite sam and his brother. it was a full house tonight.

we hadn't gotten the chance to decide on a movie yet, but nick and matt were going back and forth showing me videos on their phones. "look at this." matt nudges my shoulder retracting my attention from nick and back to him again. his phone shows another edit of us. i gasped and quickly glanced at lucia. not that she'd even realize what we're doing, but still. she already thinks he's my boyfriend and while she's not wrong, she's not right either.

but it was a cute edit with the little disclaimer 'not shipping!' in the caption which made me giggle. "okay, i picked a movie!" chris shouts, suddenly sitting up after making it his mission to choose a movie. "cars!"

"no, let's watch frozen!" mal denies but chris puts up a fight. "we watch frozen way too much!"

"i've never once forced you into watching frozen, vega maybe, but you! never!" the two bicker back and forth like school children. "i mean we can watch both." nick interrupted the bickering, pointing out the obvious. "just as long as we're done by eleven. some of us have school and work in the morning."

"you're no fun vega, why can't we ever do anything fun?" lucia crosses her arms and i shoot her a glare. "i'm in charge of you, you live here, you follow my rules. your lucky i'm even letting you stay up till eleven with the attitude you've had all week. i know moving to la right now is scary, but you know what, i'm fucking scared too lucia!"

the teenager stares me down silently, her arms crossed her her chest still in defiance. "fine then, i'm going to bed. i don't wanna watch your stupid movies anyway!" lucia waves us off, stomping down the stairs, mumbling incoherent words under her breath. i shut my eyes, falling back into the couch. "she's gonna be the death of me i swear." matt's arm slithered around my shoulders. "maybe you should try talking to her instead of yelling." matt suggested calmly. "who's side are you on?"

"yours, always yours. but she's scared vega."

"i've tried talking to her she just doesn't listen. if she wants someone to pay attention to her, fuck it i'm right here, she can talk to me all she wants she just doesn't..." i sigh. "i can try." matt responded. i opened my eyes and stared into his deep blue ones. "you'd talk to my cousin for me? what are you gonna say. she's a kid matt, you can't talk to her like you talk to chris or nick." matt chuckles. "i'm cool with the kids."

"she'll eat you alive down there." he just shrugs and grins. "please can i try, at least just let me get to know her."

"fine, if you want to try i won't stop you, but we are going to start the movie without you." matt grins, kisses me cheek up practically jumps up from the couch. he's far too excited it makes me nervous. "don't hurt yourself!" i called as he disappeared down the stairs into lucia's section of the house. "she's gonna be so mean to him and i don't exactly think that he knows that." i said to nick. "he got you to like him."

"that's actually debateable sometimes." nick laughs. chris let's malerie watch frozen first. i actually think she has an obsession with kristoff. do vinnie and kristoff look similar? probably. i'm surprised she hasn't dyed her hair orange like anna yet. i'm sure she will.

lucille layne veloz

"uh lucia?"

i roll my eyes and ignore the voice that's calling me from the other side of the door. i think it's one of those same faced boy's my sister's obsessed with. i know who they are, i'm pretty sure everyone knows who they are. they're hot too, i told vega that. she also said i wasn't allowed to tell anyone that i live next to them, or invite anyone from school over to hang out in case people realize i do live next to them. it's gonna cause a scene and the boys will have to leave. i can't even tell my new york friends about them either.

everyone knows my cousin, everyone knows my cousin and the triplets know each other, but not everyone knows they live next door. it's kind of boring here honestly. i haven't even unpacked all the way. they obviously cleared out the closet and a lot of camille's stuff from in here. but her canopy bed is still intact which is awesome. i wish we could do thing's other than sit in the house all day, but then again, being in la isn't exactly a fun vacation for me.

i just hate sitting around waiting for a text from my step dad updating me about my mom. why does he get to be there with her and not me? he doesn't even know her like i know her. why can't my aunt watch me too? why did they have to send me away?

the door behind me is pushed open and i shriek tossing a pillow in that direction. "ew perv, what if i was changing!" i flipped around onto my back to glare at him. "i'm sorry!' his hands fly to cover his eyes. "i'm here to talk to you." i sit up completely. "you can uncover your eyes asshole, i'm not fucking naked." the older boy laughs. "you sound like vega when we first met." my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "what?"

"oh yeah, vega hated me when we first met in may."

"why?" vega never hated anyone, at least the last time i saw her. she was always such a nice person. recently i feel like she's tense. i'm not quite sure if it's because of what's going on with my mother or if there's other thing's going on. "can i sit?" the blue eye'd brunet asked and i shrugged, moving aside to make room for him. i pat the spot and he makes himself comfy on my temporary bed. "why did she hate you?" i repeated to start the conversation. as much as i don't wanna talk, this is the most human conversation i've encountered all week.

"she hated me because i was a guy. and she doesn't really like guys." my eyes widen. my cousin hated guys? gosh, i remember being in elementary school and all vega would talk about were her little middle school crushes. there was jacob and anthony, steven, and then of course daniel. "why would she hate you because you're a guy? i mean i get it, but really? you guys seem fine now?" the guy just nods, i still have no clue which one he is. i'm pretty sure it's matt, considering she and matt came to pick me up. all my friends were obsessed with these triplets, i don't get it but apparently my cousin does. "yeah we are fine now cause we made up, we apologized, we became friends." i nodded, still rather confused about the whole situation. i still feel like there are thing's being kept from me but i'll ignore it for now i suppose. "now why do you and vega not get along?"

"vega and i get along fine. it's none of your business getting into our family." i denied. he just smiled kindly. "you really are similar to vega..." he trailed off and sighed. i was thinking the conversation was done here but i was wrong. "i'm in love with your cousin, and i'm throwing her a huge birthday party this weekend and i know you're scared about what's happened with your mom, but vega's scared too okay... and taking your anger out on each other isn't going to help your mom get any better."

and to think vega tried to tell me they're just friends, what a liar. but at least he told me who he is, it's definitely matt. "i know you're in love with vega, and i know about the party. and maybe i am scared. but i'm not trying to be mean to anyone." matt nods in understanding. "so then what's going on?" i tug on my earring a few times, a nervous habit i've picked up over the years. i normally wear these earrings that click in the back so when i tug on the piece, it clicks and i can slide the earring out. it's kind of a nervous habit, i just click it in and out of place all the time. i did it when carmen was being born too. i did it on my first plane ride to spain. "vega does that too."

"what?"

"tug on her earrings."

i drop my hand into my lap, throwing my legs over the edge so matt and i sit beside each other rather than i face him. "i guess i just don't know why they sent me away. why does my step dad get to see my mom, my aunt, the baby, and i have to be stuck on the other side of the country not even knowing what's happening... what if she dies and i never get to say bye?"

"oh lucille." matt's arm wraps around my shoulders and pulls me into a side hug. "i don't want you to worry about that. i promise your mom isn't going away any time soon. and as for being sent away, don't think of it as being sent away, think of it as a way to get closer to your family. you haven't seen vega in like two years huh, get to know her. you two need each other now more than ever." i chew on my bottom lip, wiping away a few stray tears he managed to pull out of me. "thank you matt, that was really sweet of you. i really didn't mean to make her mad at me."

"no one's mad at you lucille."

"you can call me lucia. i hate lucille, i sound like a grandma."

this makes the both of us laugh. "now please come back upstairs and watch the movie with us." he begs and i groan and roll my eyes. "fine, i'll watch a stupid movie with you old people."

"we're not old!" matt gasps.

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 9 days ago

Text

forty-two ; lucille

Words: 2,253

saturday, january 10, 2025, 10:30 am

matthew bernard sturniolo

pandemonium. the whole house was a chaotic mess. malerie and nick were cleaning up more thing's and separating a section of their cabinet and fridge just for lucille. i had slept over at vega's house last night not knowing what i was going to be waking up to. i don't really understand why vega's so worried about lucille moving in for the time being. i feel like there are more important thing's for her to worry about. like the art projects that sit half done on the floor, but i'll pester her about those later. i mean i guess i get it, i couldn't imagine having to take care of any of my younger cousins right now. plus, vega is also is school too so she's really fucking busy. i told her that i'd go with her to pick up lucille. vega is very sweet when she wants to be, helping her aunt take care of her kid while she's healing in the hospital.

vega's in the bathroom getting dressed when i ran back to my house and switched out my clothes. funnily enough, i think i was nervous too. this is the first person in vega's family i'll be meeting since we've been... interested in one another. huh... i guess i didn't think of it that way. i'm frozen in the kitchen when chris comes up the stairs, holding the phone on his hand. a voice on the other end of the line, i assume camille, but i'm too busy freaking out. "fuck are you doing, move." chris grumbles, pushing me aside to get to the fridge. "why you standing there? shouldn't you be over with your girlfriend or something?" i blink a few times. i'm meeting someone from vega's family? what if lucille doesn't like me? i mean, all veloz women can't be that hard to impress right? what if lucille goes back home and starts telling everyone about us. what if vega doesn't even want to date me after this? i mean lucille could single handedly ruin everything i've got going on. "matt!" chris shouts and it breaks my attention from the table and i glance up at him. "huh, what chris?"

"alright man relax, i was asking if you're okay?"

"you're being annoying!" chris' eyes widen. "are you good dude?" chris presses a button on the phone, setting it down on the table. "i'm on mute, talk."

"it's lucille."

"who's lucille?" chris asks and i roll my eyes. "vega's cousin who's staying with her cause her mom got into an accident." chris mouths and oh and nods. he finally opens the fridge and pulls a pepsi out. "is that a problem?"

"no, no problem." i shake my head. "alright, then what's up?"

"what if lucille doesn't like me?" chris groans and slams the fridge shut loudly making me flinch slightly. "are you collecting these veloz girls like infinity stones dude, who cares!"

"i care! i want vega's family to like me!" chris mouths and 'oh' as he pops open the pepsi. i seriously think it's his third one within the past hour, i don't know how he does it. "so you're worried about meeting her family huh?" i nodded, pulling out a chair and sitting down, chris does the same. "if it makes you feel any better, i still haven't met camille's family yet and her father a fucking millionaire." you know, it doesn't make me feel any better. "i mean, what if he doesn't think i'm good enough for his daughter?" i raise my eyebrows as chris begins ranting on and on about camille's father. "i mean the guy's loaded! and you now how business men are 'i want my daughter to marry rich' i mean, we're fucking kids!"

"chris!" i shout, interrupting him before he could blabber on some more. "you're not making me feel better. what if lucille hates me and she like tries to get vega's whole family to hate me too." chris' lips purse into a pout. "well, you're not daniel for starters, that's a plus."

"they don't know i'm not like daniel!"

"dude, you're starting to sound like you are daniel." chris glances at his phone. camille is sitting up, applying some makeup casually. i snap, getting his attention back to me. "can you be serious for a minute! i'm freaking out!"

"alright..." chris holds his hands up, attention on me again. "just become her friend. i mean, if you can get vega to like you for whatever reason, after she swore she'd never date again or whatever, lucille can't be that hard to please?" chris throws out there and i nodded. "yeah, yeah that makes sense." my phone buzzes in my pocket and i pull it out. "shit it's vega, she's probably gonna say that we're late or something, i gotta go." chris and i exchange a few bye's before i leave the house, locking it. i meet vega at her care and she glares at me. "we're gonna be late! you're still wearing pajamas, matt i thought you said you were gonna change!" i press my hands against her face, connecting our lips slowly, catching her off guard. i pull back after a few seconds. "stop worrying." her worrying is making me worry even more and i don't think i can handle much more over thinking. i move my hand aside, resting it on her upper arm and kiss her cheek, cradling her face in my other hand. "you play too much." vega's hands which had come up at some point to rest on my chest, shoved me away playfully. she turns and gets into the car, it lowly rumbles to life. i don't miss her small smile though.

the thing's i'd do for this woman.

i make my way to the other side and get in quickly so she doesn't yell at me again. "thanks for coming with me." vega turns around, looking behind as as she backs up the car. the only reason she's driving is because she said lucille wouldn't like my car. should i be worried? "you don't have to thank me, it's what i'm here for." vega chews on her bottom lip and i know there's something else she wants to say. i wait a beat to plug my phone into the aux, i never get aux, "what's wrong?" i asked and she switches the gears and drives off forwards and we turn onto the road. "two thing's... very small thing's, two thing's not to worry about." vega stutters but it doesn't make me feel better. "alright what?"

"i think we should focus on being friends."

oh. "mmm.... mhm. yeah."

"lucille is very... she's very complicated. i haven't seen her since i was with daniel. she's been traveling back and forth around italy, spain and portugal so she's not exactly accustomed to being in one place for long. she's also incredibly hard to please, luckily we live in la so hopefully with school and everything she'll be busy making friends and shit... and because of that, we should focus on being friends."

"you wanna be friends because your cousin is hard to please?" i think this is both of my biggest fears turning to reality. "no," vega sighs. "what i mean is, i think we should focus on being friends because well we never got the chance to be friends... and if lucia is gonna be coming around, i'm too busy for whatever we've got going on... and i-i just need some time to think alright?" vega's hits the break rather harshly at a red light. "yeah, no message sent. friends." i click my tongue and look out the window, letting out a silent breath.

"hey," she murmurs catching my attention again. i look from the outside to her. she looks so beautiful today. "i still like you, ya know? this doesn't change anything. we just need to slow down." i nodded, listening to her intently. sure it wasn't what i wanted, but it'd do anything for her. it's not a 'no i don't wanna be with you ew' but it's not a 'yes let's get married and have kids tomorrow' it's a weird in between but i guess a break is better than nothing? i take her free hand into mine and nod. "i know. how's your piercing doing?" vega glances down quickly at her piercing which was showing, her seat belt resting right under neath. taking more notice, she looks a little... stiff.

"she's doing fine, i'm a bit sore but i think that's my fault, i was laughing so much yesterday." vega presses down on the gas and the car slowly accelerates forward again. i like when she laughs. i'm glad she was sore cause she was laughing so much, that's so cute. "and i just don't want you to have to worry about meeting my family. this isn't that serious, you know. she's just a kid." vega continued, talking about lucille once again. "i get it vega, i really do." she nodded. she never had to explain herself to me. "okay thank god because i'm tired of talking." i laughed and set my hand on her thigh gently. "we don't gotta talk." i teased and vega side eye'd me. "you're a nasty freak hoe!"

12:00 am

"are you sure you don't see her? her plane was supposed to land a few minutes ago." vega has been pacing in the aisles for like ten minutes now. "sit down vega, you're making me dizzy with all the pacing and shit." i pat the seat beside me but vega shakes her head no without even looking at me. "vega, her flight just touched down three minutes ago, earlier than what they planned too, we watched it happen out that window over there." i shut my phone off, putting my full attention on her. "she's gotta get off the plane first, then she's gotta find her luggage, make her way through the airport. there's a lotta shit-"

"vega!"

i watch as my girl whips her head around, her hair flying in a fray of curls as she looks around. a girl, not much shorter than vega (her whole family must be pretty tall) stands, three luggage's surrounding her and a carry on slung over her shoulder. lucille. "lucia!" vega runs in that direction and the two girls laugh, meeting somewhere in the middle. i stand up, walking over to lucille's forgotten luggage. that shit will get stolen, especially cause they appear to be louis vuitton. who is this girl? i tug the three suitcases closer to the two, but still keep my distance so they could have their little moment together. "it's so good to see you again babe." vega pulls away, looking down at her little cousin. "how's your mom, how's carmen?" lucille sighs. "my mom is doing alright. she's got a surgery tomorrow evening for something, it's not too serious. and carmen she's well... a baby."

lucille had an interesting mix of accents, it was cute though. i'd assume that a lot of the time with all the places she's traveled too, english isn't the only language she speaks.

vega renee veloz

"i didn't want to split you and carmen up, but my mom only has the time to watch one of you, plus the baby shouldn't be flying with you, that's such a big responsibility." lucia just nods. "it's okay, i barely know the baby anyway."

"lucia, she's your sister." lucia just nods. "i know but december was my first time being home. i've always been busy with school and then in october my dad and i went on another trip to spain for his work so..." lucia shrugs. then this just proves furthermore how this is such bad timing. "i promise, you will get to know her."

"i've barely even gotten the chance to hold her. your mom was smothering her." i chuckled and nodded, walking over to matt and taking one of the suitcases as we walked through the airport to my car. "who's this." lucia seems to notice matt now. "lucia, this is my friend, matt." matt smiles sweetly at lucia. "friend, i was born at night vega, not last night. i know he's your boyfriend. what happened to daniel, i thought you two were like getting married?" i suck in a deep breath and force a smile. "no, no... daniel and i.. we just weren't compatible anymore, anyway, are you hungry?" i switched the topic before we could talk about daniel anymore. he's in the past.

"you didn't deny matt being you boyfriend." we walk through the parking lot together, matt taking the lead with two suitcases. i think three suitcases means that she won't be going home any time soon. i make lucia pause, letting matt walk away further so he can't hear us. "look lucia, matt and i are just friends, i promise. i'm not seeing any guys right now, i'm far too busy." lucia looks up at me and smiles. "alright, i don't believe you, but if you wanna play that game. and i want in n out. we don't have that in new york." i smiled down at her and nodded. "we can do in n out. it's matt and i's favorite." lucia glances up at me. "oh yeah?" she smirks. this is gonna be a long month i can already feel it.

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 10 days ago

Text

Reminder for my ladies:

Wear your sexy two piece lingerie to bed just to wake up alone. Be loud and proud in public. Wear your makeup to bed. Carry hard grandma candies in your purse. Learn to walk in heels. Buy the diamond necklace you’re never gonna wear. Sing the wrong lyrics out of key. Do a new hairstyle every other day. Bedazzle, glitter, sequin everything you own. Use your stickers. Read a book. Buy the fucking coffee or matcha or tea! Buy the Sonny’s angels, buy the labubu! Stare out windows and cry like you’re in a music video. Admire other women and support their wins. Put bows on everything. Listen to Taylor swift. KISS boys and kiss girls and everyone in between. Eat that bag of chips. Take that trip. Bring a camera everywhere. Wear slutty mini skirts or wear the milk maid dresses bc who ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK?

Be so happy in your own skin it makes other people happy.

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nosebleedsturn · 10 days ago

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If the album comes out and you love it, your fucking ass better not buy no merch or no cover tickets

Sabrina carpenter portraying a submissive side isn’t setting women back 100 years. That makes it sound like submission = weakness in women and that’s not the truth.

She kills every man in her music videos. No man survives the Sabrinaverse. Pls learn media literacy. I’ve always been super bad at underwing things (like feather confused me until I rewatched it yesterday and understood the point).

Her kneeling, and she’s not even looking at the guy, she’s looking at US SHES TELLING US. Manchild is the leading single of the song, and I’m sure she’s about to pop out a snippet or secondary single.

It just makes me sick seeing everyone compare her to b0nnie blue and Sydney Sweeney. A picture vs soap vs a 1,000 v 1 ISNT THE SAME

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nosebleedsturn · 11 days ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/nosebleedsturn/785101164455886848/im-actually-begging-dont-u-fucking-dare-i-will

maybe stop putting her name in the tags??? people who follow her tag will see your fics. that’s why her fans are seeing them on here. also, there are protections on tumblr to keep your blog less visible. please learn about the site you use before threatening to kill yourself if someone sends her content that you CHOSE to put online attached to her photo. saying “im actually going to kill myself” if people share your public posts is manipulative as hell, and gross.

Good fucking god bro take a joke and calm down it is never that fucking serious. I truly don’t give a gaf if you show her. Matter of fact I’ll show her myself lmao.

Guys this is my first hate comment and i getting famous

Also, I’ve seen more than just me threaten to k!ll their selves over much less. I’ve also seen people threaten to murder. Go bother them instead 💋💋

And i also don’t remember using her name in a tag. Someone look for it and she me where pls (and don’t say Yasmin Barbieri bc that’s not her!)

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nosebleedsturn · 11 days ago

Text

forty-one ; friends who get pierced together stick together

Words: 2,401

friday, january 8th, 2025, 2:30 pm

vega renee veloz

malerie and i have spent the past hour cleaning up camille's room even further. putting thing's in boxes and moving them to the garage. matt offered to help but i denied. malerie and i hardly get any time alone together anyway, despite the fact that it's now just us. "uhm can we not tell lucia about everything that happened between daniel and i. she doesn't even know he went to jail." i said to mal. she paused from putting on new sheets onto camille's old bed. "she doesn't know?" i shake my head. "why does she not know?"

"well i don't really wanna advertise the fact i was in an abusive relationship for three years to my younger cousins if you don't mind."

malerie's tongue click and she nods silently. "i get it." malerie goes back to shoving the sheet over the mattress. i have to be nicer to people. i take a big breath, already dreading the out come. "i didn't mean to snap at you like that it was rude." i tug on my earring, it's a hoop earring which is different from the dangle i usually wear. i mostly tug on the first piercing since it's the one that i've had healed the longest. camille pauses again and glances up at me, standing in the closet, clearing out the rest of cami's clothes that she couldn't take with her. she said we could wear whatever we wanted, but we don't exactly have the same style for most thing's. "are you apologizing to me?" malerie's smile only grows into a smirk and i roll my eyes. "oh my god! the one time i try and be nice to you, you throw it in my face!" i spin around, pulling clothes down from hangers and into a box. "you're annoying."

"you never told me how your little date with madison beer went." malerie snickers. "it wasn't a date... we talked about her album, what she wanted it to be like. i won't give away any details of it, but we wrote a song together, i have a few ideas for the cover, she wants me to get in on the merch too-"

"woah, woah, slow down! you wrote a song together?" i glance behind me at mal who stopped cleaning again, sitting on the bed staring at me. "uh yes..." is she slow? "we wrote a song."

"you wrote a song with madison beer?" i nodded and hum in confirmation. "vega that's insane, i didn't even know you could write songs!" i drop a few dresses into a box and turn around completely. "it's not that big of a deal."

"yes it is! this could be your new thing!" malerie shouts, jumping up from the bed in excitement. i don't know what she's getting so worked up over, it's not like it's my song. "why are you freaking out? i already have my thing, it's art." i shrugged but mal shook her head. "you can have more than one thing. camille was studying english literature in case ballet didn't work out so she could write books instead. i'm taking drama classes in case my drop doesn't sell well, you can do more than art, v." she rests her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eye's, freaking me out a little bit. she's looking at me like i hung the moon or created a human from scratch. "have you told matt yet?"

"told matt what malerie?" i pull myself away from her. she's actually going insane over this. "you could become a popstar!"

"what if i don't want to be a popstar?" malerie becomes quiet again. "okay yeah, yeah. good point."

i feel like even the thing's i do want have to be put on hold. daniel is still an insane psychopath who's probably still after my ass. i feel like i can't give him any more reasons to try and ruin my life. although i requested he let me go, there's no telling if he actually dropped it or if he's gonna come back with a vengeance. guys always hate to see their exes living a good life. imagine what he'll do if try and become a popstar? he'll ruin everything for me. "i shouldn't pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, i'm just saying, it could be fun you know?" malerie speaks up, keeping calm and quiet. i'm surprised neither of us have erupted into a full blown petty argument but i think we've both done a lot of maturing. and i already blamed her for fucking matt behind my back i feel like there's already a tight strain separating us from being besties again. i fear one more argument between us and we won't ever get along again. "it's okay malerie, i should be more open minded." it was a stupid argument anyway. i was getting worked up over nothing, something so small.

"we could do some damage in walmart or target and see if they have any cute room decorations for lucia that she'd like?" mal suggested, breaking the silence again with her signature smirk. "yeah, we could do that." together, we leave camille's half-empty bedroom and walk up the stairs into the halfway. "i thought you had to buy an outfit for your interview?"

"did you not see walmarts line of proffesional clothes during christmas, i mean, they seriously had a bunch of old money style clothes."

6:00 pm

malerie and i hadn't gotten through much shopping before we got hungry so we stopped at in n out quickly for some food. the car smelled like greasy burgers and fries, the was low in the sky casting a bright blue haze. i actually like when it gets darker earlier, but i'm a huge summer girl.

the next place we look to shop is target. malerie suggested earlier that we should find something for lucia's temporary bedroom, like a welcoming gift. i it weird to be nervous to see lucia again?

i remember my tia paying for my ice skating classes and then helping her raise the baby. my tia's husband isn't lucia's father, but he is carmens father. none of the veloz women have much luck with guys it's actually rather unfortunate.

we make a huge ruckus in target, buying a few trinkets, a pink fluffy blanket, and a new full body mirror. i wasn't too sure what teenagers were into these days. did she enjoy stuffed animals? or did she think they were lame?

"These pants are cute." i turned to look at mal who was sipping on her in n out drink still. they were cute black baggy jeans. "lucia had a pair like these on her christmas wishlist."

"you should get them for her." mal speaks up, pausing her drinking to talk. i set the hanger back on the rack. "i would but i don't know her size."

"she's like a size eight." i pause and look at her sideways. "how would you know lucia is a size eight?" i asked skeptically. mal freezes. "what? no i was just guessing." malerie walks off, "just buy the size eight!" she turns shouting at me.

okay odd. from what i know, malerie and lucia have never met before. they could have, lucia lived in new yorkers York too. but we are five years older than her. maybe camille? but cami didn't even go to our high school. neither did lucia i guess... cami and lucia are both kinda on the richer side of regular new yorkers. so then they did go to the same school?

i glare at the dark denim and search through until i find the size eight. i hope this is right. if not I'm wearing this shit.

i search through the other areas of target, purchasing a few extra snacks for lucia.

the only reason I'm nervous about being near her is because she doesn't know about my ex. lucia can be very persuasive when she wants to be. how else would she be traveling to all these different countries with her father? lucia always gets what she wants.

7:30

the sky is fully dark now and im getting tired. we spent way too much time in target, and malerie never even picked an outfit for her interview. we're sitting in the car now, on the drive back home. mal is furiously texting on her phone. her and cami have the quickest texting fingers i have ever seen in my life. and their grammar is hardly ever misspelled too, it's a gift.

malerie suddenly gasps and flips her phone to face me. "we have to go here!" my eyes shut, thankful we're at a red light. "turn the brightness down!"

"oh sorry!" mal squeaked. she flipped her phone around showing me the screen.

ATTENTION: ALL PIERCINGS AT THE PIERCED BY VAL SHOP WILL BE FREE WHEN YOU SPIN THE WHEEL!

"okay and?" i focus back on the road. "we should go get piercings!"

"you know i already have a bunch, plus, it's getting kinda late." i check the time on the dash board. it was lucky I didn't have to wake up early to pick lucia up but still. "late? who are you my great grandmother?" mal scoffs like she's in pain. "plus, your ears are all decorated, you need to get bling somewhere else."

"fine, fine, just put the location in the gps." i gave in. i mean, it is a free piercing?

9:15 pm

matthew bernard sturniolo

vega texted me a few minutes ago to that she had a surprise for me. i was almost sick to my stomach thinking about what it could be. i asked if it was like a private surprise. i mean, i know she's not pregnant. we haven't gone there yet and vega, despite what she believes, is not ready to go there yet. she requested me be in her bedroom. a while ago malerie had given nick a key to the house in case of emergencies and stuff like that so i used that to get in her house.

it was kind of weird being in vega's room alone. her room was not odd but it felt lonely when she wasn't here. the doodles on the walls are like an open window to what her mind must look like. her vanity a mess of makeup products and jewelry. there was so much clothes in her closet it didn't shut all the way. she had shelves full of hats, sunglasses, and random trinkets. her room was chaotic but in a neat kind of way.

the front door opens and the two girls walk in, giggling. for a brief moment I was worried that vega or mal were drunk but she gave no indications that she went to a party.

i stay seated on her bed, messing with the buttons of my phone to kill time until she got to her room. the clattering of shoes running up the stairs made me smile. our house sounds the same when we run up stairs. it's kinda funny that no matter who's house we're in, it always still feels like home. it's like we have two houses now.

"g'night mal!" vega's laugh, just outside the door makes me smile. "goodnight v..." I can barely hear malerie call. you never know what you're gonna get when malerie and vega hang out together. vega's bedroom door pushes open and she grins at me. "what's the surprise? i've been waiting forever." i jokingly groan. vega drops her purse down, kicking it under the bed. odd place for a purse but alright. she grabs my hands, situating herself to stand in between my spread legs. "guess!"

"guess?" a grin spreads across her glossy lips and she nods. "guess." vega repeats. i bite down on my lip. "you straightened your hair?"

"uh no, plus i always straighten my hair that's not a surprise." i shrugged. girls are strange sometimes. "i like your curly hair." vega whines. "matt focus." she begs. "alright, alright."

i narrow my eyes trying to pay more attention to everything. she didn't cut or dye her hair either. "new outfit? i've never seen this set before." i tug on the brim of the green sweatpants making her laugh and swat at my hands. "no matt, just look at me."

i stand up making her step back. i untangle one of our hands, keeping the other intertwined and spin her around. a flicker of light flashes across her lower belly and i glance at the jewelry. oh. oh.

"you got your belly pierced," i asked, lowering my hand to run a finger across the silver jewelry. vegas hand catches mine. "nuh-uh. can’t touch it." i sit back down on the bed and pull vega in between my legs again. i duck my head down, kissing just above the piercing teasingly. "s' so pretty." vega sucks in a breath quickly. "okay, okay stop." i raise my head and look up at her. "what, you nervous?" a huff of air escapes from between vegas slightly spread lips, a light blush dusting across her already flushed cheeks. "you got any other piercings I don't know about?"

"uh-matthew!" vega gasped.

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 11 days ago

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forty ; home to another one

Words: 1,470

i'm no singer/song writer so we're gonna pretend like this is a new song pls and thank you!

friday, january 8th, 2025, 12:30 pm

vega renee veloz

i sit on the floor of madison's bedroom, she's sitting on a beach bag chair while i'm sitting against her bed. her dog toast, and her cat are both sleeping on the bed. so far, we've started a song, and i'm doodling different thing's for her album cover. she's aiming for a bit of a space theme and she wants the cover to be a drawing of her, sitting on a planet. not sure what planet, but we've taken a break from drawing up an album cover and now we're focusing on one of the songs.

"call me baby, i know you go home to another one." madison sings softly. "say you hate me, it's okay boy you're not the only one." madison sings, trailing off at the end. her computer sits on her lap, a notebook next to her and a piano, one of the portable ones you can adjust the height of. "another year, we're still here. call me baby, i know you go home to another one."

i chew on the cap of my pen, connected to the end side of the pen where the ink isn't. "what if in the beginning you said, 'i know what i should say, i don't think of you, but i do, oh i do, i do." madison hums, jotting down her notes on a notebook. she switched her computer for the piano, pushing down on the keys as the melody of the song we created begins to flow out. she repeats the words we have so far, not much but it's enough that a grin breaks out on our face.

"you know, you're a good singer and song writer." i blush and glance down at the floor. i was not expecting that. "literally what are you bad at?" i shrugged. "i don't know anything about music."

"neither did tate mcrae, she started writing songs in her bedroom with a piano she didn't know how to use." madison points out and i giggle. "i mean, i don't know, art has always been my thing."

"art can still be your thing too. don't focus on only one thing okay? there is so much more to life than just having one job. it's so much more fun having more than one job." i mean i already have more than one job.

"i feel like i already do so much thought." i'll have to take care of lucia soon, i'm a full time student, i do youtube, i'm an artist. "i'm surprised you're not a bigger creator. and you will be getting your credit for helping me with this song if it does get released."

"you don't have to do that, especially if i get credit for doing the album cover." madison just shrugs and grins. "you deserve good thing's to happen vega." i blink a few times. "think about writing an album, seriously. even if it doesn't get released, even if it's just something all for you. i promise you won't regret it." madison nods and i look away from her. "how about we just finish this song and go from there?" i suggested and madison laughs. "sounds good to me."

friday, january 8th, 2025, 1:12 pm

matthew bernard sturniolo

now that vega's gone for the day, malerie can sneak over. well that sounds wrong, really, really wrong... it's not what i meant at all. vega can probably hear my thoughts and i think she hates me again.

"well we're going shopping at like 5:00 i think, if she get home by then. her cousin lucia is flying in from new york and we'll be taking care of her while her mom's in the hospital." i nodded, i vaguely remember vega mentioning that last night. vega doesn't get too deep and emotional, you kind of have to wait for her to tell you or pull it out of her. i prefer the wait for her to tell me. it's a lot easier. "i already reached out to lucia and i've already got her outfit ordered. it'll arrive later this week... i got an update that the packages are arriving at 6:30, so i'll make sure to keep vega away from home so you can grab the packages." malerie explained, staring down at a notebook with a bunch of scribbles in it. "okay sounds good, i'll be here. i have a call to make for her cake and then after that, we're just waiting for packages to arrive."

malerie looked up from her book. "great. camille's already been informed, she's flying down on friday, and we'll pick her up, lucia told me she's got a flight for sunday evening." malerie continued to list off everything and i nodded.

i have never been this tired. my sleep schedule is normally all over the place, but i've lost hours of sleep. i've looked all around for the perfect venue, perfect decorations, perfect cake decorator. "i've messaged analysse for the nail appointments, we're getting them done the day camille flies in." her voice stops finally. "you know matt, im sorry about giving you shit the other day about vega not accepting your apology."

"no, no it's okay. it's kind of realistic." malerie sighs. "no it's not. i know vega's kind of a bitch, but she'd be a fool not to take you back. all the effort you've put into this..."

"i think we should call it a day, i need a nap and you should probably get dressed to hang out with vega and do whatever you're doing." malerie purses her lips and nods. she cleans up the coffee table. the two of us quietly cleaned up, not saying a word to each other. malerie and i are friends, sure, but vega thinking we slept together kind of made it awkward between us. not that i'd ever sleep with malerie, she's pretty, funny, and super sweet, but there's just something about vega that really keeps me on my toes. probably because i never know what i'm gonna get with her. i see when she's sweet to her friends, i see when she's mad, when she's protective. i hate that someone had to hurt her so bad, bad enough that she felt like she had to uproot her life and move across the country. but that stupid fucker hurting vega brought her to me.

i don't know what would happen if we met, i kill him or i thank him for his stupid idiocracy and fumbling a bad bitch like vega so bad. i like that vega knows what she wants and that she's so confident in herself. i'm sure there's a lot of thing's to unpack deep down, but the way she presents herself is so powerful. i just hope when she takes me back again, she'll let her walls down a bit and won't have to be so independent all the time.

i was thinking a lot about what malerie said. vega's old high school quote. 'what can you provide for me that i can't provide for myself?'. i was thinking that i'd want to provide her some form of stability, comfort, peace. knowing that she can come home to me and be safe with me. build a family together and she won't ever think twice about me hurting her, abusing her. it'll be perfect. maybe it's stupid to romanticize a life with a woman i'm not even with, but at the end of the day i know what i want and it's vega and me together. and sure people could tell me that i'd be wasting my time if she didn't take me back, but i don't want to think of it as time wasted. loving someone and devoting a portion of your heart to them isn't time wasted, it's life spent. it's an understanding of who we're meant to be, we're meant to love each other. and if vega doesn't take me, then it'll be a lesson learned and i wouldn't ever want to fuck it up again with someone else. but i don't even want anyone else. i just want vega.

i know we sleep beside each other almost every night recently, and we text and call all the time, but i wonder if it's just because she's afraid. she's afraid that i will end up being like him so she's playing nice to keep me from getting mad. no matter what vega decides when i ask her out, i will respect her decision.

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 11 days ago

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It’s coming i fear and it’s not good (i get embarrassed)

i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut i hate writing smut I HATE WRITING SMUTTT

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nosebleedsturn · 13 days ago

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thirty-nine ; the silence between albums

Words: 1,069

friday, january 8th, 2025, 10:10 am

vega renee veloz

i pull up outside of madison beer's house. i never thought i'd ever say that. it's pretty much exactly what you'd think. cute, quaint, and larger than anything i could ever afford. i pull into the long driveway and park close to the house. i get out, and shut the drivers side door and make my way to the second row where i grab my duffle filled with books and my drawings i've done inside, as well as random coloring utensils, pencils, markers, everything. we didn't go into any details on what she was looking for at the moment but i assumed we'd talk about it today. i knock on the door gently, the sound of dogs barking on the other end of the door. i smile.

the door is pulled open and madison doesn't look much different from me, comfy sweatpants on and a cropped top. "hi, come in. it's nice to meet you." she greets me with a smile and i let her pull me into a quick hug. "okay we can either work in the kitchen, bedroom, living room." her dog toast runs around me. "he won't bite, he's super sweet."

"i know matt was telling me about toast last night," i crouch down to pet the dog. "matt was whining about not seeing his best friend." i pet the dog a few more times before standing up again. "we can work wherever," madison nods. "okay, we can start in the kitchen and move wherever when we're tired of the kitchen." madison suggests and i agree. the both of us walk to the kitchen, it's just as nice as i thought it would be. "i'll make some coffee." i nodded and sat down at the island, i put my duffle bag in my lap. "so is this an album or something else?" i asked, getting into my work mode.

when i started learning art, i never thought i'd work for madison beer. "new album hopefully, i released make you mine a year ago, and that was such a good song, i think i'm trying to flow more into that direction."

"like the electronic pop? kind of like charli xcx?"

"yeah, yeah, or tate mcrae's sound is awesome too." i nodded and pulled out one of my notebooks. "so what are we looking for on the terms of art?"

"i just want to get a reading on your art." madison sets down an iced coffee in front of me. "matt told me you like caramel macchiato's so i learned to make them last night."

"oh!" i gasped and took the cold glass into my hands. it was true, i loved caramel macchiato's, especially the one from mcdonald's. i have no idea what drugs they put in there, but they're fucking addicting. they are the perfect mix of sweet and bitter. "do you not like them? i can make something else."

"no, no they are my favorite, thank you." madison nods and finally takes a seat beside me. "i just don't remember telling matt this is my favorite drink." madison shrugs. "i feel like matt always knows more than what you think he does." i nodded. "that is so fucking true. i feel like he's still keeping secrets from me, like the other day, i went to his house. like i drunkenly told him i loved him, i mean i can't really remember everything that happened, but then we were in my room and we almost had sex."

i don't even know why i'm telling all this to madison, but honestly i'm glad i had someone else to talk to. between mal and i, we always knew what was going on in each other's lives, and we always got to info dump on camille but she's not here anymore and i honestly haven't talked to her much since she left. time zones and everything. when she's falling asleep i'm already awake and so on.

"almost? why didn't you?"

"he ran out on me! and then he told me that he wasn't trying to like use me or anything and apologized. but i mean, i caught him and malerie together... we've cleared everything up already but i feel like he's still holding something back from me."

"wow. i don't know matt very well, we've hung out a few times, but i'm so much closer to nick, but matt is so easy to read. you kinda just have to trust your gut when it comes to him. what is your heart telling you?"

"i don't really listen to my heart all that much, i can't trust her all the time." madison nods understandingly. "no i get that, and sometimes the heart doesn't always want the right thing anyway..."

"exactly.." my heart led me straight to daniel, and although everyone says everything happens for a reason, i don't think being abused was some candyland lollipops and rainbows kinda 'everything happens for a reason' bullshit. i mean, even if it was supposed to teach me a lesson, the universe could've had me learn a lesson without being sexually abused all the time, huh universe?

"let's focus on work?" i suggest, sipping on the coffee. "oh this is good!" i practically moaned at the taste and madison laughed. "i'm glad, i'm not usually a macchiato kind of girl."

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 13 days ago

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Ok Matthew we see youuuu

(Pls know I’m just joking. He probably liked it to like it cause I do the same thing and ik u do too)

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nosebleedsturn · 15 days ago

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How do I attach my masterlist? I’m genuinely lost :(

I’m sorry I didn’t respond ☹️. I haven’t checked my thingy at all bc it’s just a bunch of bots. I hope you figured out what you were wondering 😭

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nosebleedsturn · 15 days ago

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The triplets are NOT OBLIGATED to post. You WANT them to, it’s not a public necessity. You say you want more content so they do for a while, but then they get exhausted. I’ve been posting on YouTube since before they were and trust me it is tiring (I can film and yap to a camera all day but I fucking hate editing. I’ve been editing the same video for three days now and I STILL have 70 minutes left). And honestly, if I were them, I’d take a fucking break too. Some of y’all need to grow the fuck up.

Did y’all know this is their job???? And some jobs you can take random days off and still get payed!!! And you don’t even have to tell your boss/management why you’re taking the day off!

So imagine this is like that! We are their bosses/ management and WE don’t need to know. Obviously I want them to be safe, but bitches are fucking stalking them! I’m sorry but if I found out I was being stopped I wouldn’t really want to post for a while either….

So everyone take a step back, breathe, relax.

#christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolonx reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut

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nosebleedsturn · 16 days ago

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thirty-eight ; pins and needles

Words: 5,510

"drop me when you're bored of me, done with me, i'm damaged goods you can't return me." - nessa barrett

warning: mentions of sexual and physical abuse. this is also probably going to be the longest chapter yet i believe, taking place over the next few days.

friday, january 8th, 2025, 8:00 am

vega renee veloz

the birds chirped outside peacefully. i can hear matt's heart beating in his chest. his hands are wrapped tightly around my hips as if he's afraid i'll disappear. our bodies are tangled in between the sheets. there's a soft filter of light beaming in through the cracks in the window shades. it's faint, not too bright, but enough to wake me up. i shift on top of matt, his arms wrap around me tighter, keeping me close. i wasn't sure if he was awake yet, or if he was a heavy sleeper.

we watched movies, made out, talked. i was afraid that today would feel like some strange sort of walk of shame back to my house, but those worries are washed away the tighter matt's grip on me get's. he subconsciously doesn't want me to leave, even in sleep. it's cute. fridays have no school, which i was super glad for. i haven't gotten a break all week, and now i have a whole weekend to myself. aside from my little date this weekend with miss madison beer.

i try and wiggle my way out of his grip to use the restroom but matt groaned. "i was hoping holding you tighter would make you want to stay." he grumbled and i paused. "i didn't know you were awake." i stifled a giggle. "i need to go to the bathroom matt."

matt's blue eyes opened slowly, he retracted his hands from around my waist, instead using them to fix his hair. "alright, go ahead. gotta get up anyway." matt huffed and we parted ways.

i did my thing in the bathroom. i looked at myself in the mirror. i already looked so different. the bags under my eyes seemed to decrease, the paleness in my skin that arrived with a sickly feeling seemed to be gone too. i genuinely looked healthier, more awake and alive. i smooth out my hair as best as i can. it's frizzy from not brushing it for days. there's a few knots mixed in too. once i feel a little bit better about myself, i head out of the bathroom into the bedroom and nick is sitting on the bed rather than matt, who's no where to be seen. for a split second, i feel like i made a terrible mistake and accidentally fell asleep with the wrong triplet.

"hey girl." nick waves and i pause in the doorway, clicking the light on. "hey nick..." i replied shortly. he grins. "don't worry, we didn't do anything. you and matt though." nick paused, looking at me up and down. "you look a mess."

"matt-i-we.. we didn't do anything." i stuttered, shaking my head in protest but nick shrugged and waved his hand to tell me to stop. "i don't care, i don't wanna hear about it anyway. i was wondering if i could steal you from matt?" i chewed on my bottom lip in thought for a second. i needed to talk to matt some more about everything, and malerie needed to know what's been happening with daniel, and matt should probably find everything out about that too, but for now, i think i need to make some amends with nick and chris too.

i feel like i'm not as close to them as i should be, if i intend on casually dating their brother. "can i dressed first?" i asked and nick nodded. "yeah, i think you and matt should you know do whatever it is you gotta do, and when you're ready let me know. i gotta run some errands if you wanna come along." nick explained, standing up from the bed and walking toward me. "uh yeah that sounds fine." i agreed and nick and i made our plans for later in the evening.

i sat on the bed, waiting for matt to come back. he didn't take too long, he carried with him a plate of pancakes, butter, and some fruit. "oh my goodness." i laughed, sitting back as matt played the trays down on his bed after i flattened out his sheets. "i gotta grab the drinks, i'll be back in a second." matt disappeared once again, coming back seconds later with two glasses of orange juice. "i like apple juice more but this is all we had." matt handed me a cup and i took a sip, realizing just how thirsty i was. "i was hoping we could talk about some thing's." i tread lightly, unsure of how much matt would want to talk so early in the morning.

"alright." matt nodded in agreement. "about what?"

"well... for the passed few day's i've been getting a few concerning messages." i started off and i watched matt carefully, trying to see if i can understand how he's feeling. "who is it?"

"there's technically no caller id, but i know that it's daniel."

"what?"

"i haven't responded to him! he keeps texting me using all these different numbers and i keep blocking him."

"vega, why didn't you say anything sooner? this is the beginning of harassment."

"matt! please, try and understand. i didn't choose to tell you so it can turn into an argument, i just... i don't know what to do. last night, he warned me and said if i blocked him again that he'd try something, and that i'd regret it. i don't even know what it means, but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't afraid. daniel has a lot of friends, everywhere. i doubt he has the money to fly to la so soon after being released from prison, but he'll get help. he'll hitchike if he has to!" i shouted, freaking out more and more with every word. "hey, hey, c'mon angel don't get worked up over it. i promise, he's not going to get close to you again, not ever again." matt whispered, gently taking my hands in his, and tugging me to him.

he situates us so his back is against his head board, i'm in between his spread legs and against his chest. "breathe with me." matt suggested, letting out dramatic steady breathes so i could regain my own again. i follow matt's initiative, breathing normally again. i relax into him more. his lips press kisses against my neck gently.

it's so different being with him. i find myself closing my eyes, enjoying these soft quiet moments.

if i slept at daniel's house, we'd have sex until we fell asleep. if we woke up beside each other, we'd have sex until we needed to go somewhere or until neither of us could truly go anymore. most of the time, i never even finished. i knew there was going to be a day where matt and i did it. it was almost unavoidable if we were both serious about this. but i wasn't sure if i would even physically be able to. i can't explain it, i think i'd be too nervous.

"what are you thinking about vega? you're tense..." matt whispered against my skin and i shivered at the feathery touch. "sex." i spit out without thinking. matt coughs and my eyes fly open. "okay, not like that!" i defended but matt shook his head. "no, i... i get it. kind of."

"i was just thinking about how different you are from daniel. i mean you're so sweet. daniel hardly ever made me finish, and we'd go at it for a while.. i have faith you can make a girl finish." matt laughed, long and loud, rubbing his eyes as he continued to laugh at me. i pouted jokingly. "it's not funny!" i smacked matt on the shoulder when he still wouldn't stop laughing at me. "m' not laughing at your gorgeous." matt giggled out between laughs. my face was burning in embarrassment. i should really think before i speak. "i'm laughing cause you have an awful lot of trust in me."

"i just mean that you'd actually care if i finished or not." i huffed out an explanation, standing up from the bed and putting my slides back on. "sorry to eat and run, but i gotta talk to malerie about this too, and nick and i made plans for later.." i trailed off and matt nodded. "no i get it. i'll just eat your breakfast alone in my bedroom... alone." matt repeated for further effect and i rolled my eyes. i leaned over the bed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "i'll call you later."

"bye angel!"

i found my way out of the triplets house and into my own, immediately going up to malerie's room. i knocked on the door, hoping she was home and awake. i wasn't sure what her schedule looked like nowadays. i think she also said she might stop going to school for the rest of the semester and launch her brand, that way she can put some extra funds into the house rent rather than going to school. plus, her first launch was already taking up half the upstairs space. the room the the triplets made to fit their podcast studio, well we had the same overlook, and curently it was filled with a bunch of different clothing from malerie's brand, mannequins, magazines, and random shit that made sense to only malerie.

i push the door open without knocking. we don't really knock here. "hey." mal calls from her open window, letting in the chill winter air. "hi mal." she's working on decorating her second line, already ahead of the game. apparently this weekend she's getting together with some of the models chris uses for his brand, he suggested she used them a few weeks ago. i think eventually they're gonna do a collab or something. at least sam and mal will for sure, they've discussed it multiple times.

malerie's brand was certainly unique. she didn't even have a brand name yet, she was keeping it a secret from everyone. "you alright? you didn't come home last night." she mumbles, a pin in between her teeth as she talks through it. i sit down on her bed. "well yeah i talked to matt." malerie nodded. "i figured you did more than talk." she suggested, eyebrows wiggling up and down teasingly. "no! oh hell no!" i laughed. why does everyone think matt and i did it last night? do we really have that much sexual tension in between us? "damn, chris and i were betting on it."

"ew!" i screeched and mal just laughed like it was nothing. "what? c'mon v, we teased camille all the time about it when chris would spend the night." malerie took the pin from between her lips, sticking into a satin piece of fabric and pinning the two pieces together. one hand was holding up the piece against a mannequin. "do you like this fabric?" mal asked and i shrugged. "seems a little bland for you." it was a creme white color, shiny in the morning glow, but malerie's whole brand was kinda grunge, gothic, emo. "i was going to put some lace on it, black of course..." malerie trails off, reaching toward the vanity behind her which was covered in all her tools, a few different fabrics set on top as while. "i was envisioning.. fleur's wedding dress from.. harry potter, just a bit more.. modern." she mumbles, stopping every few second to adjust the lace fabric she picked up from the vanity, and hold it up against the satin piece. malerie was great at multi-tasking. "oh." i sighed. "yeah that makes sense, i like it." i nodded, finally understanding her vision. "but uhm, i didn't come in here to talk to you about fashion or matt." malerie pauses, unsticking the pins and letting her fabrics fall to the ground. she pulls out her rolling vanity chair and nods. "alright, i'm all ears."

"great uhm, just gonna get right into it... daniel's been texting me, like non-stop for a few days now." malerie's eye's widened in shock. "what? and you didn't tell me?"

"well to be fair, i thought you were fucking matt behind me back."

"still! we're supposed to be best friends!"

"i wasn't sure i could trust you anymore after what i thought you did!" i shouted in defense. i wasn't sure why she was getting so worked up over nothing. i mean, i know i hid talking to daniel for years before, but this is so different. i don't know why she doesn't understand this. malerie rolled her eyes. "i still don't understand why you'd think i'd sleep with matt anyways, you're practically married already."

"don't say that! we're not married, we're not even dating!"

"just whatever, forget about it. have you talked to daniel recently?" malerie asks, changing the conversation back to what i originally wanted to talk about. i know i already apologized to both matt and malerie for my behavior, taking it completely as my fault for blowing everything out of proportion when i could have just listened to what they had to say, but now i wanted to just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. "no i have not. i keep blocking him, but he's using all his trap phones or his friends or whatever, and he keeps bothering me." malerie's eyebrows furrow in worry. "vega i really think we should be taking legal action with this, i mean he abused you, he already has a criminal record, he practically ra-"

"no!" i shouted, interrupting her from saying it. the word. i can't hear it. "it wasn't like that ever." i denied by malerie shook her head no, not believing me. "vega, i don't think you realized what he's done to you. i'm sure you feel it, but everyone sees it." malerie punctuated. "those bruises on your arms and thighs in high school, the hickeys all over your body, you partying and getting drunk and doing drugs. when the whole school thought you were pregnant cause he started telling people you let him hit it raw." malerie ranted and i felt my whole body shrivel up. "stop."

"not to mention the life lasting effect he's had on you, how you swore off any man ever again because you didn't want to get hurt again. vega, you know what he's done to you, and you keep letting him off the hook!"

a few tears slipped out of malerie's eye's like she was in pain, like she felt it too and i know she did. there had been countless times sophomore year where there were rumors i was pregnant because daniel and i had sex without condoms. i mean most of the time i thought i was pregnant. i never did, somehow. for a while, i figured my incessant drug use, drinking, and my lack of eating was causing me to become infertile, or maybe there was something wrong with daniel. i never was sure what it was though.

the countless amounts of time's malerie and i would end up at the same party, and she'd bring me back to her house so my mom wouldn't find out i was fucked up again, literally and figuratively. we weren't friends, and i was gone before the sun rose again. but still, i remembered it all. when i'd cry in her arms in bathroom stalls, after school and during every pregnancy test. we weren't friends, but we were, despite how much daniel tried to cut me off from everyone else, malerie and i still saw each other all the time, just without him seeing it. he can't go into the girls bathrooms at school anyway.

"when are you going to understand that you're not safe?"

"i am safe. he's no where near us!" i shouted, standing up from the bed. i actually take any more of this. i've been yelled at far too much today, for my whole life really. all malerie and i do is argue, and i still needed to shower, get dressed, and meet nick for his plans later today, and i haven't texted madison to ask for more details about our work date.

my phone buzzes in my pocket and i pull it out. "you wanna see me handle it then? no cops invovled, no nothing. i can handle daniel." i pressed the button on my phone to answer the call, making sure it was in fact an unknown caller id before beginning to shout into the phone. "don't call me again daniel! i'm not some ex girlfriend who's gonna keep crawling back to you! we never had sex, we never got matching tattoos! if you think you're important to me, you're not! so stop fucking calling me and leave me the fuck alone! you're mean and you're boring! i don't feel anything for you! nothing, nothing, nothing! if you call again, i'll send your ass back to prison am i understood?"

i held the phone away from my face, clicking on the button to put it on speaker, feeling like he was going to start yelling at me again, or threaten me with something i was supposed to be afraid of. my only worry is that he'd go after my mother, but if he does, he'll have a whole other hell to pay. i'm not afraid of going to jail for revenge against my abuser. i'm sure i have a hell of a lot of people who'd help me get away with it anyway.

instead he's silent, calm. "okay vega." i whip my head up to malerie who stands up quickly. we all know what this means, it's his business tone. he's not fucking around anymore. i'd rather have him angry at me. is this is final way of getting me back to him? is he really fucking with me this way.

the line disconnects and i let out a few shaky breaths. "what did i do?" malerie wraps her arms around me, holding me tightly against her. "it's okay." she whispers over and over again. "it's okay.."

"what did i do?"

friday, january 8th, 2025, 5:30 pm

" we don't have to go out." nick says tentatively, sitting down in the passenger seat like he's afraid i'm a bomb about to explode. "no, i need this. i need a distraction from him." i briefly called matt, explaining everything that happened with daniel once again, going into even more detail. nick suggested we go out another night but i denied him. i needed something to do. "alright." nick pulled the passenger door shut and i pulled out of my parking spot while he buckled in. "where to first?"

"i'm in dire need of a drink. dutch bros?"

"oh fuck yeah, i heard they're getting in some new drinks. i haven't had dutch bros in forever. there's way too many starbucks in los angeles." i said while driving in the direction a bit away from los angeles, towards a different town that i knew had a dutch bros in it. "and after dutch bros?"

"i was thinking go find a movie theater and then get dinner afterward?" i nodded. "i like the way you think mr. sturniolo." i said in a jokingly posh manner that made nick chuckle. he plugged his phone into the aux, immediately doja cat's voice erupted over the speakers and nick and i say along to the words together. it wasn't often i found myself alone with a man, aside from sam, but he's cool and i haven't seen him since new years. speaking of new years, sam was in an awful mood the whole night.

"so what's up with you and sam?" i asked, turning the speakers down. nick groans and roll shis head back against the head rest. "i don't wanna talk about boys."

"what why not? sam was in an awful mood on new years. what happened?"

"he asked if i could come, i flat out said no. i didn't want to go to a party. i didn't even realize that he probably wanted me to be his new years kiss or whatever, i don't like new years." nick ranted and i nodded. "no i get it, new years is just a reason for people to start something they'll never finish."

"exactly, and realistically, if you really wanted to get into the habit of like eating healthy, working out, focusing on yourself, you wouldn't wait for a new year, you'd just start!" nick ranted loudly and i nodded along in agreement. "but i really want to focus on you and sam. you guys are important to me." nick got quiet for a second, which is odd for nick. "how did you and sam even become friends anyway? i thought you hated men?"

i giggled quietly and shrugged. "it took a while for sam and i to become friends actually. since cami, mal, and i were all so knew to la, we mostly spent our time exploring. we found this huge two story target, the one sam works at, and the first big girl purchase we made was the tv in the living room. at the time, we only had malerie's car, so we were really stupid and it didn't fit. sam promised he'd hold onto the tv, and we could meet up again at 8, and after his shift was over he'd use his truck and drive it to our house."

i explained, remembering the day sam and i met. "i refused of course, i didn't want the help of man, much less have a man know where we lived. we were living alone, just three girls in the middle of la, who are social media creators. i thought he recognized us, maybe he'd fuck us over. but he didn't. and malerie talked to him a lot, she found out he was gay, had his own brand, was in school, worked full time and takes care of his younger brother drew all on his own."

i looked over at nick, sharing a glance with each other at a red light. "sometimes i think if i went things would be different for us. we haven't really talked since then. was he like... mad?" nick asked as casually as he could so i wouldn't think he had any opinion on if sam was actually acting strange. but c'mon... it's nicolas sturniolo, he always has an opinion on something. i take a second to think everything through. "if by being mad you mean talking to some other guys or girls or whatever he's into these days, i don't know nick he kinda disappeared as soon as we showed up."

nick nodded quietly. "alright never mind then.. you and matt?"

"what about me and matt?" i asked tentatively. i believed he said he didn't wanna hear about us? "are you two dating yet?"

"dating no? but he asked me to be his valentine. and he gave me a job too, if you didn't know."

"he asked you to be his valentine? that's so cute." nick laughed happily. "i'm kinda pissed he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend yet."

"what why? we like... i still got a lot of shit on my figure out nick, i can't just jump into a relationship. daniel is still on my ass, i don't even know if matt and i are like compatible..." i rambled but nick cut me off. "no, no i get it girl, you don't gotta worry. we're not gonna force you into a relationship with matt anyway. i just figured that he fucked up really bad and needed a way to make up for it."

"i mean, yeah he messed up, but we're okay now. definitely a lot better than we used to be that's for sure. i'm not a hundred percent sure i can trust him completely, everyone is making it sound like he's still hiding stuff from me. like malerie, i tried not to focus on it too much, but when i apologized to her this morning... i dunno it sounded like she expected me to call them out for something different." i side eye'd nick, wondering if he had any input. i normally wouldn't be talking about my feelings in depth like this to anyone except my therapist, and maybe malerie or camille. but i can't trust malerie right not completely and cami has a whole new life she needs to work on before i can throw her in the deep end of my life. i'll probably set up a face time call with her sometimes this weekend if we're both not too busy.

"vega i promise you, there isn't anything going on between matt and malerie, and if there was, you and i both would be getting our asses out of there. both matt and chris were raised to treat women with respect, me too of course, but they love women like relationships and i love women like best friends. i promise matt wouldn't be keeping something from you if it wasn't special or important." nick promised. i pulled up to the dutch bros line, it was long. it makes sense since some people usually get out of work at around 5 in the afternoon.

nick and i stopped talking about relationships at that point, shifting our conversation to drinks, where we wanted to get dinner, and what movie we wanted to watch. we ended up watching a showing of some animated kids movie, which actually proved to be funny, and then stopped at in n out for dinner. the night was so smooth, little to no interruptions, not calls or texts on my phone, no men talking at me (aside from nick of course but he didn't talk at me, he talked to me). my day ended off rather peaceful for once).

saturday, january 11 2025, 7:00 am.

for a moment, i do not know where i am.

the sheets on the bed don't feel like mine, there isn't the constant scent of paint fumes, no loud music coming from the kitchen. it was rather quiet. i shifted around, eye's still closed due to how exhausted i felt. despite not knowing where i was, i wasn't fearful. i felt safe and content.

and then i heard it, the steady sounds of breathing and a heartbeat and i knew i was with matt. i stretch out on top of him, my eye's blinking open slowly. i didn't expect to ever to be so comfortable with a man again, but here i am wrapped up in the sheets of a man who i swore i'd never date, who i swore i'd never even like. you know, vega a few months ago would probably have a fit seeing what i'm doing now. knowing that i've kissed matt, we've made out, slept in the same bed, he's held me, we talk about thing's.

as much as i would love to lie down here with him forever, i unfortunately need to run again. i have a meeting with madison beer at ten today and her home isn't far from us, but i needed to get ready in my own house. i try pulling away from matt but he holds onto my tighter. is he going to do this every time?

"few more minutes." matt requests sleepily. i giggle into his chest. "matt, i need to get up. i have to go to work."

matt huffed. "don't even act like this, you're the one who got me the job." i pointed out, taking a jab at his pouty behavior. "you should bring some on your thing's to my house so you don't have to leave all the time."

"what's the point when i live next door?"

matt and i both slowly separate our tangled limbs, sitting up fully and waking up even further. "have i ever told you that you look pretty in the morning?" i roll my eyes at his comments. i appreciate them to a certain degree, at least he thinks i'm pretty, but then again, i'd be fine if he didn't think i was pretty. i don't need matt but i want him and i think he wants me. "i do not look pretty in the morning matt." i rolled my eyes, grabbing onto a pillow and smacking him with it gently. matt catches the pillow, ripping it away from my hands. "don't start something you can't finish, angel."

i think we both know there's a bit of a double connotation in that sentence. it rips the breath from my lungs and i look at the navy blankets bashfully. "hey," his hand comes out, gently lifting my head so we look at each other. "i gotta go matt." i whispered lowly. my heart is beating so fast. i think there's such a big difference in sitting silently with someone, than animatedly talking to them. like this, right here, we're just staring at each other. i can see the other shades of blue in his eyes, the light stubble growing on his cheeks, his messy hair flowing in all directions from sleep. as much as i take him in, i know he's doing the same thing to me.

he can probably see how tired i still am. my night with nick was long, but i loved it more than anything. he can see my hair, just as messy as his, my curls undefined. i think i'll straighten it today if i don't have time for my full hair care routine. and he definitely will take into notice the basketball shorts that belong to him, his t shirt and his hoodie. i honestly think i'll just take them with me when i go home.

"i know." matt whispered back. "you wanna hang out after you're done with madison?" he asked. i agreed and matt let me leave, still wearing all his clothes. i made my way over to my house, unlocking the door and heading to my room without thinking anything. except vinnie hacker was in my kitchen.

"hello vincent." i laughed, passing him and malerie who were eating breakfast. "hi vega." vinnie watches me as i walk passed the two heading straight into my room. the footsteps behind me were light, i knew malerie was following me. "vega.." malerie starts, shutting the door behind us gently. "what? i'm not gonna bother you, i gotta head into work, i got my meeting with madison beer at like ten." i walked over to my dresser, tugging out a few random thing's. i pulled out a green tube top and matching flare sweatpants. i wasn't exactly sure what madison had planned, but i was hoping we wouldn't be trapezing around the los angeles county.

it was still cute and comfortable though. "oh right, i almost forgot." malerie says while i get dressed. "yeah, so you two will have the whole house to yourselves tonight. i might go hang out with matt afterward but i'm not sure yet, so you might even get to have the house to yourself all night too." i bat my eyelashes at her teasingly. malerie cringes. "uhm thanks?" she tugs on the black knit sweater covering her upper half. "but i was actually coming to see if you were super busy tomorrow?"

"why tomorrow?"

"well i was thinking we could go shopping? i have an interview for a job later and if i do good, they said they'll hire me on the spot, but i'll need some new clothes for it."

"yeah sure, i can try and be home before 5:00, but quite how long madison's expecting us to be working together for. i think she was originally thinking like 2 to five hours, maybe?" i said, sitting at the vanity to work on my makeup. "would you mind plugging in the hair straightener in the bathroom?" i requested before malerie could leave.

we both agreed that we'd meet up at the mall whenever i was done with work today, and that we'd go shopping. i'm super busy this week, which i'm grateful for or else my thoughts would be utterly consumed with whatever plans daniel had for me. maybe he got the hint, maybe he's plotting on my downfall even further. maybe he's gotten tired of bothering me and is going to move on to someone else. i hate having to sit here and wonder if he's ever going to attack.

N O S E B L E E D S

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nosebleedsturn · 18 days ago

Text

thirty-seven ; babydoll

Words: 2,940

"drop me when you're bored of me, done with me, i'm damaged goods you can't return me." - nessa barrett

warning: mentions of sexual and physical abuse, the next chapter is going to be a little long with some details as well.

january 7th, 2025, 5:00 pm

vega renee veloz

my phone won't stop ringing. it hasn't stopped ringing in two days and i'm losing my mind. i know who it is. every so often it chimes with a text message or call. no matter how much i try to block the number, another phone number starts calling me. this is harassment at its finest. i don't even know where to go from here, like what am i supposed to do? i wanted nothing more than to talk to camille or malerie about it, but i can't. i don't know what's going on between malerie and matt, and cami is starting school in new york and i don't want to bother her with my issues.

obviously the answer would be to change my number. but no one knows what daniel would do if i did that. i've already blocked every number he's used. i wonder which of his friends he roped into his life again. or he's just using his stupid trap phones he's hoarded up over time.

No Caller ID

answer me vega.

come on

i now u know it's me

don't even think about blocking me again

i toss my phone across the bead, burrowing my head under the covers. what am i supposed to do? i haven't changed my clothes in who knows how long. or showered. i think i'm depressed? it's not often when i like a guy. even less often when one of the girls is attracted to a guy i liked. with chris and matt, they look the same, but they're so different. so camille liking chris and me liking matt was fine, wasn't too weird. but malerie and matt? malerie and matt? my best friend and the first guy who pulled me out of my man hating, bitchy, stand-offish demeanor. i was so lost and confused. how could she do that to me? i wasn't mad at matt, at all. i think i deserved it hoenstly. he wasn't cheating on me, we weren't anything, so me being this upset, i find odd, but i'm more angry with malerie and myself. myself for not seeing the truth, i mean it was right there the whole time.

my brain curates multi-millions of different ways that i could see into thing's. how malerie and nick probably talked about matt. i hated thinking that malerie would use nick for personal gain, but then again, she's lied to me for months now, pushed and supported my infatuation with matt only to have to blow up in my face like i was a joke.

i sit up when my phone chimes a few more times, willing to put an end to all this madness, and a chill runs down my spine. i was expecting it to be daniel again, with some other heinous words to scare me, or maybe something mean, a threat, but instead it was a number from los angeles. i recognized the area code. it wouldn't be possible for daniel to get a la phone number right? unless he's fucking with me again. i tentatively click on the answer button. even if it was daniel, i think i'd have to answer it eventually before he became violent.

"hello?" i said into the phone, waiting a moment for the person to answer back. "hi, is this vega?" the voice on the other end of the phone was feminine. who the hell is this? "yes this is vega. who is this?" i cross my legs under my body, settling back into the bed for a moment. i seriously hope this isn't some ploy, or a decoy, or something to mess with my head. i didn't recognize the voice at all. "this is madison beer, i was just calling to do a follow up for some designs for my next album coming out soon."

i suck in a gasp, sitting up quickly, almost choking on the air. "are you alright?"

i piece the voice together, it's sweet, low, and sultry. i recognize it. i listen to her music a lot actually, just how in the world did she get my number though? "i'm fine." i mumbled. "good, so a friend of yours reached out and told me that you did art, and i had a few ideas for my next album i was wondering if you'd like to get together some time this weekend if you're free so we can work on the details. it'll be paid of course." she giggles and i feel like my heart's stopped beating. "i'm so sorry, i'm just confused." i run my hands through my frizzy hair, trying to lay them down so i feel presentable, as if miss madison beer was in my room here and now, seeing me. "right sorry, i thought you knew. i was on the phone with nick sturniolo the other day, and his brother matt over heard that i was having trouble finding an artist in the area that had the same art that i was interested in. he thinks you'd be perfect for it." madison rambled sweetly.

matt?

why couldn't he have given me a warning? unless he tried and i wouldn't let him. i wonder if that's what he and malerie were talking about when i interrupted them. this could be good for malerie and i, and she said it'd be a paid. maybe this will get us out of trouble with rent for a while? maybe even help us get ahead. i know i told matt that i didn't want any help from him, i didn't want to owe anyone any money. and now he's gotten me a job, so i won't have to pay him back at all. this is his way of helping me without disrespecting my wishes.

"hello?"

"i'm here, i'm just.. shocked, i'm free this weekend." i agreed and madison cheered. "thank god! i was worried there for a second. i was thinking $500 for this first session if it goes on any longer than four hours, we can renegotiate prices if you're okay with that?" i find myself nodding in agreement. "yeah, yeah that sounds perfect."

"oh, thank you! i'll get in touch with you later on an make a for sure meeting date, time, and location? i was thinking my house but i don't know where would good for you to meet."

"your house is fine, my house, anywhere."

"okay yeah, we'll figure it out, i gotta go okay?"

"okay... bye madison."

"bye vega!"

the conversation ends soon after that. i sit in shock with myself for a second. i can't believe he's done that. i mean i can, cause that's the type of person matt is. i just can't believe he didn't tell me. i mean, i probably wouldn't have listened. i chew on my bottom lip, standing up from the bed i slip on my slides and head out of my bedroom for the first time in a few days.

"vega-" malerie starts, i hold up a hand. she was sitting at the kitchen table, doing homework. "i know why you and matt were together. because matt was talking to you about me getting a job with madison beer, and i just wanted to thank you. and apologize for acting the way i did."

malerie sits at the table silently for a moment before nodding. "right yeah, your madison beer job. you don't have to thank me. it's been a terrible secret to keep from you. when matt mentioned it to me, i was just blown away."

"yeah, i think it'll help get my art out there, maybe even do more artists and maybe even have my own shows or something." i said and malerie nodded. "right of course, i would go talk to matt now. he's pretty upset that you've been so mad at him for the past few days." i nodded in agreement and made my way next door to the triplets house. i was really nervous to talk to him again, or even to just see him. what if he didn't even want to see me? i mean then i guess he probably would have canceled my job then right? i bite down on my bottom lip. i knock on the door, not wanting to stop until someone opens it. i'm not sure if i want it to be matt to open the door, or someone else so i could readjust to seeing them again. i wondered briefly how much of a mess i looked like. i was wearing black sweatpants, blue slides, long socks, and a black hoodie with sam's brand logo on the front. speaking of sam, i haven't heard from him recently either. i hope everything with him and nick are alright.

the door flies open, and i try plastering on a smile, making it sweet but hopefully not coming off too forced. it's chris. he's holding his phone in his hand, a tired expression on his face, but it lights up as soon as he realizes it's me. "fuck vega, i missed you!" chris wraps his arms around me, pulling me inside the house. i can faintly hear the door shut behind me. it's rather dark in here. which is odd, we have the same layout and their windows, and ours, are mostly open to let in the natural lighting. their windows must be closed then. "what are you doing here?" chris pulls away. "i was just on the phone with cami, she said she was worried about you."

my smile falters a bit and i nodded shyly. "i've just been off for the past few days. i wanted to come talk to matt about it. madison beer called me and she basically gave me a job. it sounds like it's gonna pull malerie and i out of possibly being kicked out of our place." i rambled the explanation out quickly and chris nodded as if to show his understanding. "matt explained everything a while ago, not the job but uh.. never mind. anyway, i'm glad you two are making up. it's been hell recently."

"why?" i rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet anxiously. i wasn't too sure my disappearance from their lives could have been that bad right? "matt has barely left his room, left his bed! he hasn't even wanted to film youtube videos either. we had to pretend he was sick when we recorded our next video earlier."

a wave of guilt washes over me. "i'm sorry, i didn't think that he'd care. i mean, i thought he was seeing malerie behind my back." chris nods, probably knowing that too. "yeah that's what he said. i'm gonna go back to my room now, i'm sure you can find his bedroom, huh?" chris joked, knowing that matt and i shared a bedroom location and i nodded, following chris up the stairs. we part ways at the kitchen, chris heading down stairs again and i stand at matt's bedroom door. "he'll be glad to see you." chris whispered quietly, holding his phone to his ear again, and then disappearing around the corner.

i run my fingers through my hair, unknotting everything i can. if everything chris said was true, matt won't look all that healthy either. i doubt he'd look bad though, he always manages to look handsome. i knock gently, opening the door not too soon after so he won't tell me to go away. "matt?" i called softly into the dark bedroom. i go against the initial idea to turn the light on, and instead walk quietly to where the lump, who i assume to be matt, would be lying down. "matt?" i whispered again, a little louder. when he doesn't move, i sit gently on the bed, afraid to upset him. "i just wanted to come tell you that i... i know you and malerie weren't seeing each other behind my back and i'm sorry that i thought that. i should've known, i mean she's my best friend and you're... you and.. well you know. i'm not the best at apologies, but i hope you understand what i'm trying to say-" the lump on the bed shifts, matt revealing himself. he truly doesn't look much different than me, exhausted, messy hair. he sits up, cutting me off quickly with his lips pressing against mine.

i gasp into the kiss, taken aback from what he's doing, what we're doing. "you don't gotta apologize pretty, it's my fault."

"no it's not, i should have trusted you, and malerie, and i'm grateful that you two reached out to madison beer for me." matt's eyebrows furrowed. "madison beer?"

i nodded in slight confusion. "yes... she called and said you suggested that her and i work together, that her next album concept and my artwork would look good together." i said slowly and matt nodded along. "i forgot i did that.. yeah, yeah we did that for you." matt confirmed and i nodded too. "i'm glad that you, you listened and you didn't just give me money, but you gave me a job opportunity. i will think of a way to pay you back." i promised, taking matt's hands into mine. he holds our hands up to his lips, pressing a few kisses to the top of my hands. "no, no i have a better idea for you to pay me back." he whispered against my knuckles. "what?" i nervously giggled.

i was really hoping we weren't going to do what we did last time, as much as i enjoyed it, i think i'd have a heart attack right now. and as much as everything's fine between matt and i, i can't date him until everything sorted out between daniel and i. "be my valentine this year."

i don't know what i was expecting, but it wasn't that. "me? your valentine?" i had never been a guy's valentine before. "yes you." matt chuckled and i nodded. "okay, i can do that. i've never been someone's valentine before."

"really? not even with that asshole?" i shook my head no. "he didn't really care about that kinda thing, unless it benefited him. he never did anything for my birthday, anniversaries, regular relationship celebrations. i mean we'd have sex on like every holiday, he used it as an excuse all the time.. i'm talking too much i'm sorry." i apologized quickly but matt's head shook slowly, egging me on.

"talk about it, if you want." matt urged gently. "i'm here to listen." matt's hands left mine, wrapping around my hips and pulling me into the sheets with him. "okay." i giggled, feeling very content with everything. honestly, it's been a while since everything has been content in my head, so this feeling is very nice.i'm trying to welcome all these feeling's with open arms. but the remind that this is exactly what my relationship with daniel felt like in the beginning, so i try not to tell matt everything. you know, just in case.

it also reminds me that daniel's bothering me again, and as much as i probably should tell someone about it, i don't know what else to say to him, he's probably already going to be devastated when i talk about my relationship with daniel, he doesn't need to know that daniel's somehow gotten my number again. i mean i haven't changed it since we moved. i'll deal with it later i suppose. "well daniel and i started dating young. we were kids really, sometimes i still feel like a kid. we met at a party, my first party i ever went to with malerie and he was sitting in the corner, selling his little drugs and we just made eye contact." matt and i laid side by side next to each other. my head on his chest with his arms around my waist, drawing patterns on my hip when he pushed my hoodie up a bit. "everything was perfect in the beginning. he was mysterious but funny, dangerous but cool. he was my first everything and as much as i hate him, i think there's a little piece of me who's always going to love him."

"you're always gonna love the little piece of him who he showed you in the beginning, because that's who you fell in love with." matt explained it, far better than i ever could. i look up at him, keeping my head on his chest. "exactly." i grinned up at him and matt smiled at me too. he leaned down a bit, connecting our lips together.

my phone buzzed a few times in my pocket. i sat up to turn off my notifications and block the number again. i couldn't risk matt seeing that he was bothering me, i wouldn't even know what to say. i clicked a few buttons turning off my notifications for a while. matt tugged on my hoodie, pulling me back down to him. "what's up?"

"it's nothing, just texting malerie i won't be home tonight... maybe." i giggled leaning into him once again. "are you inviting yourself over?" matt questioned jokingly. "if you don't mind..." i trailed off softly. matt kissed my forehead gently. "i don't mind. we can watch movies, drink chris' pepsi, eat nick's snacks. whatever you wanna do angel."

my eyes widen in surprise. "angel?"

"mhm.. you're my angel."

N O S E B L E E D S

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