noses-in-winter

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So I've been in a fandom ever since... *checks calendar* the year 2000 (offline before I even knew what a fandom was and just exchanged bad fanfic with my one irl friend who liked the same series) and 2002 (online, the year we got a computer with internet access I was allowed to use).

This fandom was old even as I got into it and I still hold it very dearly in my heart, but it's just too embarrassingly old to openly discuss it nowadays.

Which prompted my question: Do you have fandoms you love and would love to gush about and write 1000 snz and sickfics for, but just.. never do because it's so fucking niche?

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Introducing - sneeze bingo! Send someone an ask with a character and they’ll fill out the board.

Take one, pass it down!

Allergy edition:

Cold edition:

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15 y/o me was really like "wow what a creep :/" when someone would try to rp with me on omegle and insert their fetish unprompted--all while I consistently inserted sneezing into every rp, unprompted

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Wound up being out of work all week and may need to spend some time out of it next week too!! Great!! idk what I did to piss off the universe but it was damn something because the last several days have been SO rough

Sobbing, I was going to go out of town for a solo mountain trip this weekend for my bday but busted the HELL out of my back and am now out of work for two days 🧍‍♀️so I’m gonna postpone that for another day

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Sobbing, I was going to go out of town for a solo mountain trip this weekend for my bday but busted the HELL out of my back and am now out of work for two days 🧍‍♀️so I’m gonna postpone that for another day

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John Kacere Assorted paintings, 1969–1990s

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OPE experienced the opposite today: following someone for months thinking I know who they are and then read a post that tells me “oh I have no idea who this is”

I love when I follow someone new on snzblr that I don't know and then months and months later they post some art/backstory/etc that I recognize and I'm like "oh this is NostrilAbomination18 from the forum, I've literally known u for 12 years"

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this is gonna sound so basic but I love when someone has to put thought into avoiding what makes them sneeze... Opting not to cuddle a friend's cat...switching to the sidewalk on the other side of the street to avoid a blooming garden...keeping a purposeful distance from someone wearing way too much perfume...stocking up on tissues when a high pollen count is predicted...

Just someone having the thought of "That's going to make me sneeze" is incredibly hot okay

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Uhhhh hey it’s been a minute but I finally got around to editing this to my satisfaction, so….stay tuned

Okay, so I know we know, as a community, that Sneezy of Snow White fame is cursed. But, you cannot argue that his CONCEPT alone is absolutely golden. Allow me to elaborate:

Imagine a man that you DO find attractive*. Right now. Pause right now and imagine the man you most want to sneeze. Okay, back to the scenario---- This man is just CHRONICALLY sneezy. There is just no explanation for it. Everything tickles his nose, which is always irritated. Everything makes him want to sneeze. It's to the point where his roommates call him Sneezy to tease him. They even try to do the whole 'finger under the nose' thing. The first time, it was a joke, but damn! Sometimes it works and they happily welcome anything that has a chance of getting that nose under control! Not only does he sneeze all the time, his sneezes are...distinctly strong. And loud. And dramatic. It's kind of an event, actually. TVs are paused, conversations are put on hold, friends start passing over the box of tissues because they Know that look and That look means--ope, there he goes, okay.

Life is short. Do not deny yourself the joy of analyzing the cringiest of sneeze media to collect what you have the potential to enjoy about it, in another setting! (*unless you DO have Sneezy White as your ideal man. In which case, I envy you. How does it feel to have your every sexual desire satisfied with one film? Please let me know, genuinely )

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me finally opening the door because the mysterious eerie entity who is trying to lure me outside has begun mimicking a sick feverish needy guy, sneezing and moaning and squirming and playing with himself because his body feels so weak and miserable and he's just so desperate to feel good again, even if just a little (he needs me to help him) (he doesn't even have the strength to arch his back) (I am 110% cooked & these are my final moments)

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anyone else ever go so insane for how completely pretty and desirable a nose is that you just have to spend an hour writing poetry about it

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My job requires me to speak a lot (hate it!) and I’ve had the WORST chest cold for the past week and have totally lost my voice, I def cannNNNOOOOOTTTTT really afford to have taken this whole week off but alas 🧍🏽

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Idk what’s wrong me but I am violently craving a bulky sneezy big-nosed blue collar southern man who knuckles under his nose and snuffles “Hoo-whee….” after a big sneeze

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Gonna log back into the forum for the first time in 10 years just to post Kendrick’s 😁 face in response to creeps posting about minors

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The tragedy of my life is that I keep acquiring and displaying fetish art and having to be corrected by my friends.

Most recently, a friend came over my house and saw my computer background and went, "Wow, um, I didn't know you were into that." To which I look at the picture of the well drawn muscular female minotaur in historically accurate Greek clothing and I start geeking out about how I love the detail the artist did with the clothing and I point out the period appropriate folds and pins, how the artist even inserted the native plant that was used to dye the clothing this particular shade in the background, and even how the belt has technology AND historically accurate weaving patterns on it.

Then I start explaining how I love the muscular choices of the minotaur, that I was so impressed with the artist's anatomically correct depiction of the muscles converging into the neck. That many people get an upright cow's neck wrong because cow's don't have collarbones, so it can be very difficult to merge the upper arms and a chest of a human with a cow's body. I draw her attention to the beautiful way they've merged the pectoralis major so smoothly while also staying true to how muscular they've depicted the rest of the body.

I finish up with my thoughts on the artist's bold choice to depict the minotaur as a female, and despite the underlying themes of a minotaur being violence, child murder, strength, and muscles. I segue into how unlike bulls, cow are perceived as mothers. That they are the major source of milk in human culture, and that idyllic depictions of them in a field usually depict calves frolicking nearby, yet the minotaur kills and eats children.

I finish and there is a long pause.

"Urban, this is fetish art." and she takes me to the artist's twitter and god dammit it's fetish art, not a bold statement on cultural perceptions of women and violence throughout history. I have been tricked again.

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Hey tumblr I have never once in my life interacted with a post about That One Abusive R*pist Character From That One Piece of Media, can you PLEASE stop recommending it to me. I literally don’t care if he is sneezing, I’m still repulsed

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i'm not usually into super destructive sneezing for more than 5 minutes because I'm primarily into sneezing being paired up with a comfortable situation, and destructo sneezes are the opposite, yk?

so, please, picture with me: A is someone with huge destructo sneezes while B is immortal/impervious to damage/etc and unable to be hurt by any harm potentially caused by said destructo sneezes. Whether they're friends or lovers or something in between, B is the only one that A can really let themselves sneeze around.

the trust....the comfort...the safety...I'm gonna freak out

(this works with same-sized and micro-macro pairings, just sayin')