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BREAKING NEWS: EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED FATHER TRIES TO SHOW AFFECTION

Tiny Tim needs some validation and love.

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hi guys, does anyone have a good dark percy fanfiction recommandation because I JUST GOT THAT HUNGER

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Mission: Bring Your Partner to Work Day (and Batmans Accidental Harem)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/C2jXSbY by SamLikesToRead The Justice League hosts a morale day called “Bring Your Partner to Work.” The Batkids submit six different names for Batman’s "partner." The League assumes it's a polycule. Batman shows up confused. The League is already emotionally committed. No one explains anything. Bruce considers faking his own death. The Batkids high-five. Words: 609, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 2 of In the Name of Justice (and Love) Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Diana Prince, Barry Allen, Hal Jordan, Oliver Queen, Dinah Lance, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown Relationships: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne/Diana Prince, bruce wayne/barry allen, bruce wayne/hal jordan, Bruce Wayne/Oliver Queen/Dinah Lance, Justice League & Batfamily Additional Tags: Humor, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Batman, Found Family, Polyamory (Accidental), justice league shenanigans, Batfamily Shenanigans, Accidental Dating, Group Chaos, soft batdad, Fluff, Chaos with feelings, Crack Fic, idk this was rotting in my drafts. read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/C2jXSbY

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Chapters: ½ Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Secret Identity, Identity Porn, Not Beta Read, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clark Kent is Superman, a little too explicitly, Non-Graphic Violence, References to Drugs, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Crack Treated Seriously, Secret Identity Fail, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Psychological Trauma, Protective Clark Kent, truth justice and the americ– oh hey are u good bro?, bruce let himself get hit for the job and on-duty himbo clark kent will not stand for it, on duty himbo clark kent Summary:

Bruce Wayne – billionaire playboy, owner of, at most, three brain cells – beaten up at his own charity gala. Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises out of nepotism and dumb luck, whose business wasn’t touched by corruption purely because of incompetence – Bruce Wayne, airheaded and still generous, still kind, bloody in a stall and trying to hide it.

His hand clenched on the stall door, crumpling it between his fingers. His eyes weren’t burning yet, but barely.

“Who did this to you?”

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Can someone pls recommend some angst or hurt/comfort fics where the batkids realize that Bruce is infact, a human who ages, and has problems and traumas, and had a whole life before them, and gruesome scars. At this point I don't even care if it doesn't resemble the ones I mentioned if it's a jason and Bruce one. Please I'm starving

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De-aged Bruce, bored and wants to start shit: Hey, Tim, was it? I noticed that you kinda look and act like a mini-me. Are you one of my bio kids?

Tim: Nope, I'm actually Janet and Jack Drake's son

Bruce: And? Doesn't refute my statement

Tim: What? Bruce, that's impossible. It's not like you–

Tim, realizes what Bruce was implying: Son of a bitch, you didn't

Bruce: *smirks*

Tim: Seriously?! My mom?!

Bruce: Your dad's a good kisser, too, by the way

Tim: *gags* I did not need to know this

Batkids: *wheezing in the background*

Tim: Why, why are you telling me this?!

Bruce: *goes closer* Because it hurts you

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Bruce: *bored as fuck and is literally willing to do anything*

Hal: Hey Spooky, you look like you could use some fun. Why don’t you let me take you out for dinner? *wiggling his eyebrows, very clearly joking to get a rise out of Bruce*

Justice League: Oh fuck, I always knew Green Lantern had a death wish *they’re all exchanging looks, ready to grab Hal just in case Bats decides to break his no kill rule*

Bruce: *has found the perfect opportunity to fuck with everyone* Sure, I like to be wined and dined. You’ll be paying for dinner. *walks out before anyone questions him*

Hal: … *turns to face the rest of the Justice League* Huh, who knew it’d be that easy?

Clark: *gritting his teeth* Yeah… who knew

Barry: *scoots away from Clark due to danger feeling*

Hal: Oh my gosh, what if this is a plan to murder me! *sweating, hands gripping his hair in fear*

Clark: *under his breath* Let’s hope he gets to you before I do *glowering*

Barry: *even more scared*

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The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀

...

Comes with labels

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Batman is such a great character NOT JUST because he's technically overpowered as hell but everyone loves that instead of being annoyed by it, but also because this fool is so shippable. He's bitchy enough that he can be coworkers-to-lovers with anyone on the Justice League. He's a control freak. He's a trust fund baby. He's a bit of a slut. He's a dad. He can change his personality at will but at his core he's a troll and a hater. Literally something for everyone.

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Duke: …So, is Two-Face like, B’s ex or something?

Steph: I think it’s more of a situationship? They still seem to have some feelings going on there.

Jason: Yeah right, and get accused of cheating on Selina? I think not. They’ve been dating for as long as I can remember.

Dick: That’s…strange, cause I’m pretty sure he and Clark are married. Big Blue gave him a ring and everything.

Damian: A Kryptonite ring. One that Father keeps in a lead lined safe with the rest of the alien’s bane. Besides, everyone knows Mother’s laid her claim to him already. Only a fool would interfere with such a union.

Cass: Talia and Bruce are about as divorced as two people can be.

Tim: No, you guys are all missing the point. If we want Bruce to have a partner, we need to pick the most profitable option for us. [ pulling up a PowerPoint ] Hear. Me. Out.

—-Later, At the Watchtower-—

Oliver: Bats, why are your kids inviting me over for dinner?

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Guys I’m gonna cry.

I found a fanfic over one of my very first posts! The one where B kisses Oliver to reveal his identity

Thank you so much!!! I never thought people would like my silly thoughts lol

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Bruce Wayne has entirely too many secrets that he doesn’t realize are secrets.

He’s traveled the world and has seen and experienced shit. He often forgets that people aren’t detectives like him so they have no fucking clue.

Bruce has extensive ‘dad lore’ that not even Alfred knows about. Bruce just never thinks of it as necessary to talk about.

They’ll be having dinner and Bruce will be like “That reminds me of that one time I climbed the direct route up to the East Face on Mt. Everest.”

And it’s a completely WTF moment for all his kids to realize they don’t know shit about Bruce’s life before they came into it.

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There’s something pretty funny about Bruce being JL’s emergency fake boyfriend. It all starts with Hal, because all wonderfully chaotic things do.

Hal: My dad’s having a BBQ with his insufferable pilot friends and they're all ‘quiet about politics’. I need you to pretend we've been married for 10 years.

Bruce: 😐

—

Clark: So I kind of told my parents I've been dating you after they asked me ‘what kind of friends are you’, and I said ‘the kind that kiss and hold hands’ because I panicked

Bruce:

Clark: I'm so sorry but please, please come to dinner this Sunday. I’ll tell them you broke up with me later!

Bruce: I don't want to break up with you.

Clark: REALLY?! I MEAN— Really! I can do the break up, no problem. Not that I WANT to break up with you. I'd never.

Bruce: You’ll tell them you had a long term affair behind my back. With Batman.

Clark: You’re absolutely evil sometimes, you know that?

Bruce: The plot required conflict.

—

Barry: So, I kinda forgot to tell my dad I’m not straight. I want him to have a soft introduction before I bring HAL home.

Bruce: Alright.

Barry: Wow! That was fast.

Bruce: I have a deep-seated fear of denying my younger peers.

—

The only issue? JL is hosting a family night and they all sorta kinda forgot to tell their parents they stopped “dating” Bruce.

The parents are fighting over him.

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Bruce explaining to Jason: Remember, chum. You should never talk to strangers, okay?

Jason: Okay Dad.

Teacher at the first day of school: Hi Jason! What do you want to be when you grow up?

Jason 'loyal to bat-dad teachings' Todd: What do you care.

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Dorothy: Mr Scarecrow, why do you want to see the Wizard?

The Scarecrow (Totally-Not-Fiyero), internal: So I can punch him in the face for his oppression against the Animals and starting a smear campaign against the love of my life because she is the only one to stand up to him.

The Scarecrow (Totally-Not-Fiyero), out-loud: ..... I want to ask him for a brain.

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Love you 💙