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Bonnie: I am such a bad judge of character.
Damon: Of course you are, I’m your best friend.
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Caroline: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Stefan: Wow. They sound stupid.
Caroline: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Stefan: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Caroline: I guess you’re right. Hey Stefan, I love you.
Stefan: See! Just say that!
Caroline: Holy fucking shit.
Stefan: If that flies over their head then, sorry Care, but they're too dumb for you.
Caroline: Stefan
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Hot take: Cute witch girls are better than vampires.
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Bonnie [invites Elena into her blanket fort]: Let's talk about the paranormal and witchcraft.
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Your love is weird! And toxic!
Elena [to Damon]
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Matt: So what are you doing for Valentines Day?
Caroline: Oh, the usual. Bonnie and I go to the drugstore and buy up all the Valentine's Day cards, and then we watch the forgetful husbands panic.
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Enzo [to Bonnie]: No offense, but fuck everyone that’s ever hurt you, you’re precious and didn’t deserve that.
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Damon: I could kill you if I wanted to.
Elena: Yeah? So could another human being.
Damon:
Elena: So could a dog.
Damon:
Elena: So could a dedicated duck. You’re not special.
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Write 'nothing is set in stone' on my grave as both a witty pun and a subtle warning that I will be back.
Bonnie Bennett
(But also, like, anyone who lives in Mystic Falls really)
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Kai: I’m not a ‘serial’ killer…
Bonnie: Wait, why’d you emphasize 'serial?'
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Caroline: *covers Tyler’s eyes with hands* Guess who!!
Tyler: It’s either Caroline or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Caroline: *uncovers hands* It’s Caroline!
Tyler: Damn it.
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Damon: Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?
Enzo: Isn’t that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?
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Damon: I would throw myself in front of a moving car for you.
Bonnie: You would throw yourself in front of a moving car for fun.
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Caroline: Did it hurt when you-
Stefan: Yes
Caroline: I didn’t say “fell from heaven” yet
Stefan: Everything hurts
Caroline, holding him close: Aw babe
Meanwhile Katherine in the background: I crawled up from Hell but no one ever comments on how hot I am
Katherine: I’m looking at you, Stefan…
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Bonnie: Damon, can I speak to you for a minute?
Damon: Oooo. Someone’s in trouble.
Damon: It's me. I don't know why I did that.
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Stefan [about Caroline]: I've never felt this way about anyone. I want to do something for her. But what?
Damon: Well, there's the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep,
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