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why is this so accurate

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oh my god

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not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

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I be like "omg, i have so much to do" and then go lay down

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Someone: How was your day?

Me:

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honestly it’s almost like our generation is set up to be lonelier & more anxious & more insane like imagine already being 20/30-something, the period of your life where you’re expected to be “at your prime”, in the middle of a climate crisis and a pandemic, under late-stage capitalism’s celebrity culture that conditions you to be as likeable & “marketable” as possible, where it seems like every lived experience should be watchable/profitable. & you look at the future you’re supposed to be working hard for & all you see is climate catastrophe meanwhile you scroll down a little & see a skin care ad that’s like “fight aging”. i haven’t said anything here that hasn’t already been said by someone else, but imagine being 20/30-something & normal

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Things I have learned since becoming an Adult™

-don’t tell ur coworkers jack shit. You might think they’re your friends but they will sell you out for a paperclip -everything men tell you is a lie -store brand vanilla ice cream is better than name brand -pregnancy tests from the dollar store work just as well as $20 ones -don’t lie to your doctor -seriously don’t -at some point your card will get declined for $6 and nobody but you will care. It happens to everyone at some point in their life -you will become bffs with your mom (unless she’s a mean person, then skip this one) -you’ll wish you took the advice adults gave you when you were younger, even though it annoyed you at the time -people you went to high school with will become teachers, doctors, etc but they will still do drugs and it will be weird. That’s life, my dude -never underestimate the power of new underwear

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I find myself getting less and less ambitious the older I get.

When I was graduating high school I wanted to do great things and be super famous and change the world.  Now I just want to hang out and not bother anybody.

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This is the only tiktok you’ll ever need, I’ve made about 13 of these and I’m not stopping anytime soon

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Beautifully said.

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Joy is stored in not knowing who the fuck internet celebrities are

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Kim Seon Ho as Hong Du Shik HOMETOWN CHA CHA CHA (2021)

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when i was 10 or so i was deathly afraid of vampires so i stole the garlic powder from my mom’s spice cabinet and kept it in my coat pocket and if i was out at night with like my parents and thought someone was acting really sus i’d try to surreptitiously sprinkle a lil garlic powder on them 

like imagine a weird little girl deciding you failed her vibe check and promptly seasoning you 

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earth signs are so funny……….. you have virgos who act like they absolutely hate you & come for your throat at every chance, meanwhile they’re actually deeply in love with you (and would kill anyone else for roasting you how they do)?????? then you have taureans barely acknowledging your existence and acting uninterested in you/unbothered by you meanwhile they’ve been in love with you secretly for 8 years (and yes they stalk your twitter likes daily)………..and then there’s capricorns, who simp in your dms 24/7 like their life depends on it but then tweet/talk publicly like they’ve never felt an emotion in their entire life jlkfdjflkd