nqbus - Tumblr blog

[nqbus]

a fun side effect of "every trans man passes easily" is that it takes the narrative around transphobia aimed at trans men from "it's barely anything, you're just being whiny" to "you deliberately brought this on yourself by making it obvious to everyone around you that you aren't a real man just so you'd have something to complain about". For bonus points combine that with the idea that trans men "play up" their agab specifically to oppress trans women and you end up with "trans men facing transphobia is indicative of transmisogyny on the part of the trans man". And now you have carte blanche to tell any trans man you want to kill himself and gain trans ally points for it. follow for more life hacks

[nqbus]

I love being a binary trans person but the problem is I feel like the way I relate to that word is not how others perceive it. like to me I'm "binary" in the sense that I don't see myself as a point on a spectrum, its just a binary choice, yes or no, man or not, and I am a man, it's just simple like that.

The dissonance I feel is that people often use "binary trans person" as shorthand for cis-assimilating trans person, which I don't try to be any sort of way, I'm just me and no matter what I do to feel like the man I am, it will never be cis-normative, that is the nature of being trans, we are inherently locked out of the cis binary.

I also personally cannot untangle "binary trans man" from the way that label was leveraged to be hateful towards trans men esp in reaction to transmedicalism and people like Kalvin Garrah. People would point at one shitty binary trans man and say look, we need to (bully) keep trans men in line because they are all destined to end up like this. So I feel like I need to keep my guard up when relating to the label because I have had my experience condescended so many times.

It's why I and other people have often asserted that the binary trans experience is also a rich complex experience, because the picture often painted of trans men especially is of a hollow, emotionless person only seeking cis validation. It's hard to explain, but that is a sentiment I received from others for a very long time.

[nqbus]

Hi, I just wanted to offer you some support since you seem like you’re really going through it. Your transness is beautiful and you make the world a better place just by being in it. You’re someone people will look up to one day if they don’t already. I hope you have someone that can give you a hug, but I’m sending a virtual one should you choose to accept it. Please have a restful day and feel better soon, you’ve got this <3

this really means a lot to me <3 i really have been having a rough couple of days and even though i have a consultation for t happening in a few weeks (which i Am excited about) but its kind of exasorbated all of the fears and struggles i've been having around it (especially relating to my mom who, unsurprisingly, is the fakest kind of "you do you but i don't support you" energy.

not to go on too long BUT thank you so so much for this. i hope YOU have a great day and its kind to you <3

[nqbus]

my fellow tboys I'll hold your hand when i say this but you can't afford to hate yourself in a world that hates you. sometimes just loving yourself is the greatest act of rebellion you can do.

[nqbus]

i know this is a gay blog but i’m here to say a trans thing

i love the word tboy so much it fills me with so much love

i’m a tboy

a tboy!! a boy making himself a boy!!

like my gender is boy but my GENDER is tboy

idk

i love it

[nqbus]

it really is crazy how women abusing men is still regularly (if "jokingly") viewed as a positive thing. like literally today i was talking to someone about having watched both misery & sunset boulevard in a film class & both of those being about men being abused by women & the person's response was smth like. haha yeah that's so empowering. like obviously these are fictional characters but y'all realize that treating individual human men like poppets to punish Mankind for it's Sins is fucked up and evil yeah. also this directly translates into how trans men are treated as free punching bags for people to take out their anger at more powerful cis men. idk call me crazy but i feel like if you can't hear about men being abused by women without making a "joke" about it maybe you just have a deep problem you need to work on

[nqbus]

straight women who genuinely like men's assholes are essentially itinerant rōnin on the weather beaten frontiers of sexuality

[nqbus]

Very weird how there’s been multiple people called out for being extremely transphobic towards trans men (misgendering, sending death threats, sending rape threats, accusing them of fetishizing gay men, etc.) and they just start posting shit like “oh but misandry isn’t real. Are people not allowed to hate their oppressors anymore?” and people on this website will just go “oh yep okay” and just completely ignore the fact the original reason they were called out is because they were transphobic

[nqbus]

grab me squeeze me throw me around c'mon prove those shots are working

[nqbus]

we cant all be studs or sorta grungy fellas. Some of us gotta take one for the team and fill important niches. Who’s gonna get forcemasced into the IT guy

[nqbus]

[nqbus]

i hate that "TMRA" is an insult used against transmascs, not only are you saying an oppressed group of people don't deserve to fight for their rights, but you are at the same time equating that oppressed group to a group of men who literally hate us and would assault us given the chance. are you aware of the statistics of violence against trans men & mascs? the rates of assault, rape, and suicide and how they are extremely high and extremely underreported? or do you not care because you think were gender traitors were men?

[nqbus]

Dude what the hell

[nqbus]

I love trans guys!!

I love trans guys with top surgery.

I love trans guys without top surgery.

I love trans guys who're on T.

I love trans guys who aren't on T.

I love trans guys with facial hair.

I love trans guys without facial hair.

I love trans guys who embrace traditionally feminine things.

I love trans guys who don't like traditionally feminine things.

I love disabled trans guys.

I love POC trans guys.

I love closeted trans guys.

[nqbus]

reblog if you love trans men, transmascs, masc leaning enbies, and anyone who experiences transmisandry/ transandrophobia

cmon lads let’s have some love cuz god knows we don’t get enough of it on this stupid site

[nqbus]

I love you, transmascs, with all my heart. I want to see you love yourselves. Your masculinity, your trans and queer masculinity, is beautiful and should be celebrated. You don’t have to be invisible and you don’t have to punish yourself for being a man or masc. Talk about yourself, talk about your experiences, be loud, take up space. Turn your body into a home in whatever form that looks like for you. You deserve safety and comfort, you deserve community and belonging. Surround yourself with people who will give that to you and don’t you dare settle for less. Remember that you’re a human too—your first responsibility is to yourself before you can help others. Take care of yourselves and each other out there. I love you.

[nqbus]

People give both masculine trans men AND feminine trans men shit, it’s just different flavors of shit.

“You’re trying too hard to be a man!” “You know, it’s okay to be a butch lesbian, you don’t have to be a man.” “Toxic masculinity.” “Why do you hate women so much you want to stop being one?” “Just because you’re a man now doesn’t mean you have to conform to gender stereotypes, stop trying so hard!” “You could be so much prettier if you just grew your hair out and stopped acting like a boy.”

“Are you even trying to pass?” “You can’t be upset that everyone misgenders you when you look like that.” “What’s the point of transitioning if you’re just going to look like a girl anyway?” “You’re obviously not even an actual trans man.”

I’m sorry, you want me to think either of these are better? They’re both shit. These are both shitty things to say about any given trans man.

No, society does not reward masculine trans men for being masculine men. They focus on the trans man part, start thinking “ugly failed women”, and start giving us shit.

This doesn’t mean they want trans men to be feminine, though, obviously, because then they give them shit for being feminine and for being trans men. But again, they focus on the trans man part, start thinking “women who are trying to be trendy”, and start giving them shit.

It’s all shit. None of it is better than the other.

But amidst all the shit, I need you to notice one thing: the focus is on them being trans men. The truth is they don’t actually care if we’re masculine trans men or feminine trans men. We’re trans men and they hate that.