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Waiting to Exhale...

Waiting to Exhale…

“Beware of Destination Addiction – a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” – Robert Holden My favourite scene from a movie, of all time, is the scene from Waiting to Exhale where Ms Angela Bassett’s character Bernadine wakes up the…

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On 2017, Afropunk and Resolutions

I love how as a society, out of all the days we give meaning to, we have one that we decided would be our day of “starting over”. We give ourselves an imaginary refresh button or a clean slate. We take a minute to reflect on the past year, we usually call it trash (2017 really was though), pick out a couple of highlights which we are grateful for, express relief for being alive to see the new…

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I love the festive season. Really do. I have absolutely no relation to the Grinch, so without a doubt, this is my favourite time of the year. The reasons are endless. In the year I spent living in Thailand, this was the one time where I truly missed home (minus that time I had convinced myself that I had Dengue fever and needed my mom there to be paranoid with me. She’s worse than WebMD). Thailand is a Buddhist country so December might as well be one those useless months that no one doesn’t really care for like January and July. I even had to work on Christmas and at the school assembly in the morning, all the foreign teachers had to stand in front and tell the learners how Christmas is being celebrated in our respective countries. I’ll admit I wasn’t the best ambassador for my country because all I said was that we spend the day with our families and in the evening, we go out, meet up with friends and drink. Then I walked away, I felt like I should have been given the day off. It’s Christmas, bathong.  Needless to say, no teaching happened that day. What really broke my heart was when my brother video called me from my gran’s house and lord knows the fastest way to break me is to involve Mma Miesie, my Koko. She has my heart.  Thank God this year, I’m home and I can’t wait to break bread with my loved ones, I know with my family it will involve loads of yummy food, liquor and loads of banter. Good Times.

Sidenote: Speaking of WebMD. The internet recently diagnosed me as being allergic to alcohol. Now, if that isn’t the most comical thing I have ever heard, I don’t know. If I was allergic to alcohol, I would be dead by now. Believe me.

The internet is stupid, here is a list of reason why I absolutely love December:

Everyone is single.

2. Every day feels like a Saturday.

3. The braai invites keep on coming.

4. It’s the height of bikini season.

5. The only tea we recognise is the one from Long Island. 

6. Birthday Month. Turning 26 on the 17th. 26 is such an odd year, hope it’s as unexpectedly life-changing and exciting as 23. 25 was one long existential crisis panic attack. 

7. Summer hit music. This year, the summer belongs to the Distruction Boys. You’d have to be deaf to disagree. But my Fav is Heavy K – Inde – https://youtu.be/-7NX-bSGSfQ

    8. #KeDezemberBoss. It’s a state of mind. An Institution.

Family time

Extended Shopping hours

Day Drinking on speed.

  The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I love the festive season. Really do. I have absolutely no relation to the Grinch, so without a doubt, this is my favourite time of the year.

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Keep going, one bottle of chardonnay at a time.

I don’t know how people manage to adult without wine. I genuinely don’t. If you are one of those who does, please leave a comment at the bottom. It must be really hard though because even with all the vino I consume, I’m still kind of luke-warming it as I go along. Case in point: my friends are getting married acting very grown-up while I’m sitting here undecided on how to feel about Fergie and…

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WEAR SUNSCREEN: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

WEAR SUNSCREEN: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

BY: Mary Schmich Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind.…

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Rediscovering the joy of celebrating another free trip around the sun

Rediscovering the joy of celebrating another free trip around the sun

“Celebrating another birthday is not an opportunity for reconciling passed failures and unfulfilled dreams, but rather a chance to appreciate what many have not been afforded…” I used to hate celebrating my birthday.  For a good couple of years, it was one of my best-kept secrets. I didn’t particularly embrace getting older; I often felt like I was running out of time which is a bit crazy…

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“Dating in 2017: Let’s be friends, friends with benefits. I’m not ready for a relationship but I expect you to do things that should only happen in a relationship. Remember, we’re not together, you can’t claim me, but you can’t be with someone else. I need you to be loyal, but I’m free to do what I want. If you get mad, I’ll remind you that we’re just friends. If you catch feelings … I’m ghost. I told you from the start I’m not ready for a relationship” – unknown

Most, if not all, of my mom’s friends, are either divorced or, like her, widowed, as a result of which they are re-entering a dating scene that looks drastically different from what it was when they left the game in the 70s and 80s. Back then, concepts like friends with benefits, ghosting and situation-ships existed but weren’t so … mainstream. So, when I overheard my mom, aunt and their friends comforting a friend of theirs who had been ghosted (the guy hadn’t called for close to four months) by telling her to be patient with him and give him the benefit of the doubt, I couldn’t help but chime in by snidely whispering quite loudly that she had been ghosted or pie’d and that she should forget about him and move on with her life.

Needless to say, my mom and aunt gave me the “wait until the guests leave, you’re gonna get it” look that parents give when they can’t whoop your ass in front of company. My mom even said “what do you know, you’re a child” to which I laughed (internally though. I laughed internally. I was already pushing it by listening in on grown people’s business so I knew better than to be laughing out loud at my black mother). However, her friend, the ghost victim, was very intrigued by what I had to say and I will admit, as an attention seeker and sharp tongued proud truth teller, I felt like it was my duty to school her and the rest of the golden girls (they are young at heart) about the dating in 2017. Of course, my mom was sitting there mean mugging me the whole time. My aunt thankfully had been converted to my side and was ready to hear the gospel.

    So, while I was googling the urban dictionary’s definition of ghosting to prove that my topic of discussion wasn’t something I imagined while I was waiting for my nail polish to dry, I started by telling the ghost victim that she shouldn’t take anything I say personally and that these were just the savage time we were living in. If someone doesn’t call you in four months, ya’ll aren’t dating no more. Four months ago is so far in the past, it might as well be in 2016. Next, I reminded them who this guy, who I shall refer to as ‘the ghost’ was because they seemed to have forgotten that he is notorious in their circle of friends. The ghost has been around and he has never been an ideal boyfriend to any one of the previously ladies, never really committing to anything and swiftly moving on when he felt like it.  A notorious bachelor. The mistake my mom’s friend had made was to believe that she would be the one to change him. She frowned at me when I said it. My mom stared daggers. Still so unimpressed and surprised that I’m still taking part in this conversation.

I carried on. Reminding them that this was a man in his 40s who has never been in a long, serious relationship who has never in his own words or action told her that he was looking to change. He said he wanted to “keep her company”. What gave you the idea that you would change him, aunty? He is so grown.  Dr Angelou was on to something when she said that “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”. Believe them, don’t try to change them. Don’t make excuses for them.

Then I read them the definition of ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.

My mom was the first to respond with a “who does that?” and then when she realised that the ghost victim was getting emotional, she said I wasn’t even making any sense and that the ghost victim shouldn’t listen to me because I’ve never really even had a man so what do I know?

I was rescued by the ghost victim herself, between her sobbing when she said that I was right. Then she added that she still believed she could change the ghost and she loved him and was going to wait and see. I gave up. Go ahead and get hurt, aunty.

After they left, my mom was actually not upset that I had “Iyanla Vanzanted” myself into their conversation, trying to fix aunties life, but rather concerned. She was more worried about how unbothered I was being about everything I was saying. She kept on asking “is that how you guys treat each other now? You just disappear? You guys have strictly sexual relationships and you are okay with that?”. The one that really confused her was how we can be with someone yet not consider them your boyfriend/girlfriend, you just spend time together, sleep together and be loyal to each other but not put a label on it or any serious expectations to this thing that you have. You make your own rules. It’s a “situationship”. These vary and people generally do what works for them. I know of situationships where the people involved don’t even like each other. They find each other to be quite underwhelming people, outside of the bedroom. My mom didn’t know whether to give me a hug and tell me she was sorry that this is the world we live in or to tell me she raised me better than to even have an understanding of these dating/mating practises.

Literally 2 days after I told aunty that “he’s just not that into you”, she ran into the ghost and in her attempt to get some kind of reaction out of him or make him jealous, she told him that she’d meet someone else, that she was very happy and that she wasn’t going to wait for him. It failed. He literally wished her well. A couple of days later, he bumped into my mom, where he mentioned that her friend (ghost victim) had told him that she has found someone else after which he had wished her well because I was over her anyway and was hoping that after 4 months she would have gotten the picture. Is that not ghosting?

Later when my mom and the ghost victim were updating me, it took everything in me not to say “but I told you so” but before I could say it, my mom admitted I was right. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon making the ghost victim feel good about herself and giving her the old “there are many fish in the sea” pep talk.

My mom and I were obviously giving off some really good vibes because her friend  is now seeing someone else who actually acknowledges her and she’s doing quite good so at least there is a happy ending there but it is also a bit bittersweet because this whole thing has got me thinking about how if people in their 40s and 50s are still going through the most and seeing all sorts of flames, does it ever really get better or are we all screwed?

P.S don’t tell my mama that I put this on the internet.

“It’s called ghosting, mom” “Dating in 2017: Let’s be friends, friends with benefits. I’m not ready for a relationship but I expect you to do things that should only happen in a relationship.

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In the past year, I have been so consumed by work that I haven’t had much of a social life. Everything was just so heavy, I didn’t think I was fun to be around (particularly when sober) and when did I have some free time, I just wanted to sleep. I never want to be consumed by work like that again. I want to be consumed by things that set my soul on fire and to have find a balance between adulting and doing all the little things that make me happy like drinking rosé in a teacup,  hanging out with my girls and eating my youth.

     So, in order to bring back some normalcy and fun times into my life, I accepted an invitation to attend the Brown Girl Social Club (@browngirlsocialclub) luncheon hosted by social entrepreneur, Huffington Post SA blogger and melanin goddess Kagiso Matlala (@kagisomatlala_). And what better way to revive my social life than attending a social?

At first, the luncheon hosted at Arts on Main, Maboneng, felt like a high school reunion because 95% of the guests where Pretoria High School for Girls Old Girls, which I actually loved (my close friends and I have decided we won’t be attending our actual school reunion so this was perfect because it involved champagne and we didn’t have to sit through questions on when we are planning on getting married or having kids) and then when the programme started I knew there was nowhere else I would rather be, in that moment. The theme for the luncheon was “How to Successfully Grow in your Career and Business through leadership” and the Keynote speaker Mme Nana Magomola, a phenomenal lawyer and businesswomen with years of experience in numerous business and legal fields and sits on or has sat on a number of national and international boards. She was so insightful and really engaged the girls in attendance on a number of topics from the importance of taking time to visualise what success means for each of us, to ask ourselves who do we want to be; to realise that we all brands, even in our small little corners and how that relates to how we want people to see us; she encouraged us “to be present when present”, to read and never stop yearning to learn and the importance of having a mentor.

I was really inspired by Mme Magomola when she spoke about finishing high school, she studied to be a nurse and a couple of years into her nursing career, she decided she wanted to be a doctor, so she studied towards it and right at the end, she decided she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore so she worked for a pharmaceutical company before moving into Law and then finally the corporate space. I was particularly struck by how she had moved from one field to another while still progressing and growing. I sometimes feel like I’m not growing, particularly, in anything that has to do with adulting. I don’t feel like I’m really building a career in anything, in particular. I feel very all over the place. I worked for a magazine, went to teach English in Thailand for a year, came back and now I work in the NGO space and I don’t know what I’m going to be doing in a couple of months times, let alone a year. So, how do I not come off as being unfocused? I’ve never wanted to really be anything. You know how some people grow up knowing that they want to be a pilot, an actor, a fireman and they work towards it and they become pilots, actors and firemen, I’ve never had that. I always thought about the kind of life I want to live, never thought about being a something. So, after her address, my good friend Khanyisa and I went over to thank her and to ask for a picture for our Instagram’s but I couldn’t let her leave without asking how do I go about not pursuing my ever-changing passions without looking crazy and unfocused. So, she listened to me go on and on and on and finally she spoke and she literally said “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, it (wanting to try different things) builds character”, and she added that I’ve gained so many different experiences, gained so many different skills and worked in different environments with different people that I actually have so much more to offer to the world. Sometimes, it’s good to hear from someone who doesn’t know you that you are okay. They don’t even have to say much and it might not even seem so meaningful to anyone else but you’ll know how much you needed to hear it.

The rest of the afternoon was an absolute delight, the food was delish, the champers was flowing and the conversations with my fellow brown girls was everything. I definitely won’t mind attending future Brown Girl Social events and I’m excited to see the initiative grow and to connect with more brown girls.

  Speaking of high school reunions and getting back some normalcy, I decided to finally face my guilt of not making the effort to see my best friends and got the girls together for a very overdue lunch. These girls are like my family, we have known each other for such a long time that the friendship is so natural and effortless, also they know where all the bodies are buried. So much had happened since we’d last all been together though, we’d seen each other separately but it had been years since we all sat at the same table and instead of talking about how annoying our boarding school teachers were, we were talking about the baby shower I missed while living abroad, the moving in with the boyfriends, the jobs and of course the sexual exploits. We even took a moment to read through my DM conversation about the Italian I had a very short rendezvous with while in Venice. That guy has earned himself a whole page in my autobiography. I digress. Seeing my old friends again, reminded me how connecting with people who have known you for a long time can really bring you back to your core, I was reminded of all the dreams I used to have and the person I wanted to grow into and I realised how for the most part, I have remained true to who I really am and in the same breath I need to go back to being passionate about the things that I love and want in my life, the way I was all those years ago when we all first meet. So, I left feeling more like myself again, this past year has been so hard (2016 was for the dogs), I felt I lost myself in it a bit and I’m also grateful for my friends who regardless of the time apart, when we together, it feels like we just saw each other yesterday.

  Now, moving on from brown girls socializing and girlfriends to Lena Dunham’s Girls which was continuously criticized for its lack of brown people representation which isn’t my topic of discussion right now but rather how sad I was to see it end (I know it ended months ago, I’m still sad). I don’t think there is another show that I have related with in my early 20s than Girls. 

  When the show premiered, I was in my third year of university, and as much I loved the show, at the time I couldn’t really relate or see myself in any of the girls so I stopped watching. At the time, the Girls were a year or so out of university and were struggling to get it together. Life hadn’t worked out how they’d planned it would after graduation. I never saw myself as being like them after university. I figured I’d get an internship while studying for my honours and my career in international relations would just flourish from then on. It was all going to work out. Life is funny because as soon as I graduated just the idea of a nine to five made me want to vomit in my mouth, so nothing worked out how I had dreamed it would, earlier. I ended up spending 2 years living at home, copy-editing for a business magazine which left me feeling so uninspired while constantly pulling myself out depression and trying not to hate my life.

So now, as a 25-year-old, having been through what I went through and being where I am, I can relate with Hannah, Jessa and Marne more than ever. I am Hannah, Jessa, Marne and Shoshanna in one way or another. I’m also finding that I’m having a new understanding and appreciation for Joan, Toni, Maya, Lynn, Carrie, Maranda, Charlotte and Samantha, as I am getting older. Catching up on Girls brought me so much joy. It’s crazy. I often felt like Lena Dunham had a bird’s eyes view of my life because she was telling my story on that show. Hannah, “the writer” who is a complete mess, she just can’t get it together but knows above else she knows that she is a writer and she wants to write, that she knows for sure. Hello, hi! Then there is Jessa, the free-spirited one who doesn’t really want to be tied down, who does her own thing when she is inspired and when it feels right. Now Marne, first she really wants to work in art gallery scene (Charlotte 2.0) but her passion is music. Marne’s story sounds like the time I studied politics when all I’ve ever wanted was adventure. Lastly, Shoshanna, our personalities couldn’t be more different but I related to her selfishness. If something doesn’t interest her, she doesn’t even bother trying to pretend. I’m very selfish with my interest and attention. I really have a new appreciation for the show now and am sad that after 6 seasons, it is over. A lot of people weren’t happy with the final two episodes but I loved every moment of it. Sometimes people don’t depart from our lives grand farewells. Sometimes goodbyes aren’t filled with hugs, kisses and long speeches about needing to move on. Sometimes people just stop talking and so much time goes by that you can hardly remember what it was like having them in your life. The ending felt so natural for me. And I think the timing was also just right, the Girls had outgrown each other and their character archetypes. They were becoming different people and it’s that what life is all about, becoming?

  Thinking Out Loud: Girls. Brown Girls. Lena Dunham’s Girls. My girls. Girls. In the past year, I have been so consumed by work that I haven’t had much of a social life.

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The Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Oh, God! I don’t know. What I do know is that I am constantly in pursuit of it. The happiness thing. I know that in the past a lot of the stuff I thought would bring me some form of happiness have always failed me. I guess my idea of perfect happiness is something that doesn’t leave me longing. Something Complete. Whole. Still.

I do also know that when I lie down on my grandmother’s stoop during summer afternoons, I am still. Also, hugs and kisses from my family. So, I guess, happiness for me is being loved and loving my people back. And of course, the little things like frozen yoghurt (happiness in a tub), Chardonnay, Rose in a teacup on Sunday afternoons, tea, moonlight, star gazing, beach bumming, laughing (especially with my mama), basically all the little things.

2. What is your greatest fear?

I have a couple:

1. Waking up in a coffin. Being buried alive.

2. Losing my sense of humour.

3. Losing my light. I still love singing “This little light of Mine” as much as I did when I was in preschool. #letitshineletitshineletitshine

4. Being too sad to do the things I love. 

5. I’m terribly scared of being attacked by a monkey, ape, gorilla, chimp or anything in that family. Google Charla Nash before you judge me or click here to terrify yourself immediately

My greatest fear used to be losing the people I love but then my granddad died and I loved him and losing him made the sun seem to shine a little less bright, to me. Then my sister died and I loved her and losing her made the sun seem to shine a little less bright, to me. And then my dad died and it seemed like the whole universe lost all of its light. So, I don’t fear losing the people I love anymore because I know that my world will implode again one day, regardless. It might be tomorrow or on a random Tuesday while I’m making a tuna sandwich but it will happen. That I know for sure. So why fear the inescapable?

But waking up in a coffin, that’s a rational fear because it isn’t completely inevitable. Is it?

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I wouldn’t use the word deplore, I don’t take myself too seriously to actually hate anything about myself. I do dislike that I procrastinate a lot (To my defence: I only do things when I am inspired to, which is actually the way it should be. I blame the capitalist system for creating a world where everything runs on deadlines and due dates. It all started with the Industrial Revolution. History 101)

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I read somewhere that the qualities and traits you don’t like in others are those that you, subconsciously, don’t like in yourself so I’m going to be lenient and say I don’t particularly enjoy the company of people who hold on to things for too long and want me to remain there with them. I’m not saying we shouldn’t deal with things in our own time but I can only stay there for as long as it doesn’t compromise my happiness and peace of mind. Call me selfish. If I am actively trying to bring myself into the light, I will resent you if you want me to stay in the darkness so you can have company. I’m not saying I don’t hold on to things myself. I’m human and some things take longer than others to get over or to learn to live with but I don’t invite others into my sadness for more than a minute before I reel it back to myself and try to heal from within.

I also don’t like people who stress or worry too much. I might not show it much, but I am very sensitive to peoples energies and when I am around someone who is angry, stressed or feeling other negative feelings, I sometimes feel it dragging me down as well. Sometimes it is even physical, my back feels tense. So sometimes I might seem detached but it is actually to protect myself from people’s vibes. The worst part is that I am hyper sensitive to my family’s moods, like when my mom or brother is upset at or around me, my back literally aches. It’s weird.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

Me. I have to live with myself every day. It takes a lot. Jokes.

It has to be my mama.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Travel.  I’d sell my soul.

    7.What is your current state of mind?

Sade.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Patience.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

When my procrastination catches up with me. Also, when I pretend to be sober. Luckily, a couple of years of underage drinking and promising my mum I won’t drink until my 21st birthday has made me into quite a pro.  

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I’m not a huge fan of my belly fat.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

Everyone involved in my grandmother’s death.

This other guy who claimed to be my half-brother.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

There is no way I could ever just chose one, so here’s the list:

1. Sincerity

2. Trustworthiness

3. Open-mindedness

4. Humour

5. Sociability and adventurousness (I’m a Sagittarius)

6. Quick wit

7. Compassion

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

See list above.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Oh, God”

“Yes, honey”

“yassssss”

“I’m so confused”

“You’re not even a real person” 

“chardonnay, honey”

“hey babe”

“hey doll”

“do the thing”

“What’s happening?!”

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

What? Travel. Nothing gives me more joy.  Also, anyone who has ever and will ever offer me chardonnay or champagne.

Who? My family and my friends who I consider to be my chosen family

16. When and where were you happiest?

When I made out with a French guy on the beach under the moonlight. I don’t know why, but I was happy.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

Rihanna (yes, I understand the question and my answer is still Rihanna).  I would like my talent to be Rihanna.

      18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would stop living in my head. I do that. A lot. Like I do this thing where I think about things in advance, I plan in advance, the whole nine-yards, I just don’t do anything to let people know of my plans or what I need until it’s the very last minute and I feel like an idiot when everyone is like “why didn’t you say anything?”. I feel like an idiot a lot.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Staying true to myself. I have, for the most part, stayed on course.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I don’t want to be anybody else. I don’t know what it is really like to be them, I might like their life but I don’t know what they, themselves are like. I’d actually like to come back as a bottle of champagne. A really good one, the kind that half naked blond girls drink on yachts in the South of France or in bathtubs the size of my apartment.

    21. Where would you most like to live?

In the moment.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My journals.

“I hope that someday when I am gone, someone, somewhere, picks my soul up off of these pages and thinks, “I would have loved her.” – Nicole Lyons

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

The absence of love, in whatever form it manifest in.

24. What is your favourite occupation?

Traveling.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

I can’t answer this myself, it’s for others to say.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

I’m really bad at making time for my loved ones. Be it via phone, text, email, in person, you name it, I’m bad at it. So, I most value that my friends still have love for me even with all my tendencies.

27. Who are your favourite writers?

1. Me – I love reading my own work because it feels like I am looking into myself and life from the outside in. Sometimes I write things down that make me think about myself or things happening in my life differently. It gives me perspective. My favourite type of meditation.

2. Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist is my bible.

3. Hemingway – Never read any of his books but I have a whole folder of his quotes and I feel like him and I would have gotten along.

4. Toni Morrison – I hold “The Bluest Eye” in the highest regard.

5. James Baldwin – My hero.

6. The writers at Saturday Night Live – I get Goosebumps every time I hear “And live from New York, It’s Saturday Night!”.

7. Nora Roberts – Go ahead and judge me.

8. Mara Brock Akil – she’s the screenwriter and creator of Girlfriends and Being Mary Jane.

9. Sophie Kinsella – I adore the Shopaholic series.

10. Terry McMillan – Waiting to Exhale is food for my soul.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Dwight Schrute

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Amelia Earhart. Baby girl just wanted to fly around the world. I’m about that.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

1. My Parents.

2. My grandparents.

3. Black women

4. Winemakers

5. Papa Penny

31. What are your favourite names?

My unconceived children’s names.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

Spiteful people.

33. What is your greatest regret?

I missed out on love once. You’d have to buy me a bottle of wine or two for me to tell you the whole long story but it involves a Reggae bar on Koh Chang Island, Miss Lauryn Hill and Bob Marley and lots of Vodka. 

34. How would you like to die?

Old, long grey locks, in a really comfy bed, with candles and incents burning,  in the arms of someone I love and with my close family and friends around me.

35. What is your motto?

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough

  New Post: I asked myself the Proust Questionnaire. The Proust Questionnaire 1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Oh, God! I don’t know. What I do know is that I am constantly in pursuit of it.

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Sun kisses from Dar es Salaam. #breakingdownbordersafricatour #tanzania #daressalaam #traveldiary

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Love love love Dar es Salaam. #breakingdownbordersafricatour #tanzania Follow the journey @breakingdownborders_africa (at Jangwani Sea Breeze)

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Dar es Salaam ❤❤❤ #breakingdownbordersafricatour #traveldiary #tanzania #daressalaam

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The adventure continues. JHB🛫DAR🛫UGANDA 🛫 DAR 🛬JHB 🛬 NAMIBIA Follow our journey @breakingdownborders_africa

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And so it begins. #africatour #firststopzimbabwe #traveldairy #travelsquad #breakingdownborderstour (at Harare, Zimbabwe)

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Sometimes when I meet celebrated people, I forget that I know them but they don't know me so I always stop myself halfway from saying "hey!" And they always look at me like wtf. Happened twice this week 😂.

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😢😢😢😢😢 (at The South African State Theatre)

[nthabz]

I feel like this is one of those photo's we'll look back at one day when life has taken us where it has taken with fondness and loads of laughter. (at The South African State Theatre)