nukethebeans

[nukethebeans]

[nukethebeans]

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

[nukethebeans]

I feel like I’m missing something that everyone else has

[nukethebeans]

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved information

[nukethebeans]

i got the high score for most irritated anyone has ever been and my body exploded into clear and beautiful water droplets that nourished the ground where i stood and now trees and flowers taller that you could ever imagine grow in that spot and provide shelter to creatures great and small

[nukethebeans]

[nukethebeans]

[nukethebeans]

my father just looked me in the eyes and said “it’s a dog eat dog world out here and i’ve got a Milkbone up my ass” cheers man i’ve legitimately never heard that one before

[nukethebeans]

the problem with being someone who 1) lives in mountain lion range 2) enjoys night hiking is that there is a nonzero chance my last words will be "oh fugg a gougar"

[nukethebeans]

I come from a mental illness dynasty

[nukethebeans]

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

[nukethebeans]

your racist uncle just bathed in dragons blood, rendering his flesh impenetrable by blade or bullet. luckily some divine force, call it entropy, pulled a leaf from its branch and let it rest on your uncles shoulder blade as he was bathing. you know what to do. find this spot, and drive the electronic turkey carver through it. it is your destiny

[nukethebeans]

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

[nukethebeans]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[nukethebeans]

[nukethebeans]

“Money doesn’t buy happiness” ok and poverty buys what exactly

[nukethebeans]

is it my incredible female intuition or is it paranoia from all of the trauma