nunbot9k

[nunbot9k]

My sweetie playing w me:))) so happy yayyy

[nunbot9k]

Being on my nsft is both a gift and a curse. I love posting there I love the mutuals I've gained from there they're all amazing super attractive people and they're so nice to me. But also it upsets me how because I post my pussy I'm reduced to my genitalia.

[nunbot9k]

I'm aware it sounds awful and mean but I've always known who I was. Okay I tried a few things out when I was 13 but after that I just knew. I sorted that shit out with myself. I know who I am and what I want. Not just sexually not just my gender shit, I am a stable person with very stable interests. I know what I like and what I don't and if I'm uncertain I just keep it to myself and sort it out later. On my own. And I want to be around people like me. I find it attractive and a sign of maturity. 8 consider myself a serious person and I only like serious people. I don't care that you're questioning shit abt yourself. Find someone else.

8 like interacting w ppl on my nsfw sideblog but it's also very. Hurtful sometimes. A lot of cis men approach me and right now there's some lesbian in my dms complimenting me and when I told her I'm a guy she was like ohhh yk I'm experimenting. Girl. I don't wanna fuck you you've got a huge ass lesbian flag as your header. Idgaf. She's trans too and also like 42 years old. Be fucking serious whys everyone so retarded

[nunbot9k]

She's writing me long ass paragraphs abt how she's been questioning her sexuality for a while now like. I don't care. I don't wanna hear that I hate being a free trial for anyone. I hate being the tutorial boyfriend I hate being the person you use to find out things about yourself. I don't want cis men finding out they're attracted to men through me I don't want lesbians finding out they tolerate some transmasculine people I don't care. I don't give a fuck. That's why I only fuck people who know themselves well. Nothing less attractive than a person that doesn't know who they are or what the want. I understand it's normal I understand that's how people are and how we find out things about ourselves but I want nothing to do with it it's an ugly process to me

8 like interacting w ppl on my nsfw sideblog but it's also very. Hurtful sometimes. A lot of cis men approach me and right now there's some lesbian in my dms complimenting me and when I told her I'm a guy she was like ohhh yk I'm experimenting. Girl. I don't wanna fuck you you've got a huge ass lesbian flag as your header. Idgaf. She's trans too and also like 42 years old. Be fucking serious whys everyone so retarded

[nunbot9k]

I want pretty submissive trans boys messaging me and jerking off to me cmon girllll

8 like interacting w ppl on my nsfw sideblog but it's also very. Hurtful sometimes. A lot of cis men approach me and right now there's some lesbian in my dms complimenting me and when I told her I'm a guy she was like ohhh yk I'm experimenting. Girl. I don't wanna fuck you you've got a huge ass lesbian flag as your header. Idgaf. She's trans too and also like 42 years old. Be fucking serious whys everyone so retarded

[nunbot9k]

8 like interacting w ppl on my nsfw sideblog but it's also very. Hurtful sometimes. A lot of cis men approach me and right now there's some lesbian in my dms complimenting me and when I told her I'm a guy she was like ohhh yk I'm experimenting. Girl. I don't wanna fuck you you've got a huge ass lesbian flag as your header. Idgaf. She's trans too and also like 42 years old. Be fucking serious whys everyone so retarded

[nunbot9k]

We play toysssss

I like it when people play with me

[nunbot9k]

My partner keeps making joke posts abt me and I like it veyy much I don't mind being made fun of as a joke I see this as a game and it genuinely feels really nice. I like it when they play with me, interactions like these are so nice. I try to initiate stuff like that but most of the time they rlly do not like it. Today is game day

I like it when people play with me

[nunbot9k]

I like it when people play with me

[nunbot9k]

My dad is watching some Greek TV series abt a family and the child is misbehaving at school and my dad is extremely mad at the writers. He thinks it's unrealistic and stupid how the parents are yelling at the child or beating him and how "no one is that calm in real life when their child is being bad" like no bro. That's just you. Retarded ass faggot is confused when fictional characters don't beat their child for swearing while at school you can't make this shit up dawbbv

[nunbot9k]

He pisses me off sometimes but I still love him a lot hhh our friends call him my golden boy and I guess I spoil him very often. He doesn't really need it, if u ask me I think he gets everything he wants. Always. But he's still my weakness I can't say no to himmmm

[nunbot9k]

Guess even upper middle class youngshits have problems who would have guessed

[nunbot9k]

Admittedly we never really talk abt that stuff. Because he's absolutely not lower class I always kinda. Wrote off his problems. It's not nice to admit to that ik. I'm an asshole sure but. I want to work on it I guess. I mean I've always recognised the racism he's faced because. It literally happened in front of me. We went to school together. I know. But seeing him stand that close to the TV staring at some actor that had 3 mins screentime total. not even blinking. It must mean a lot to him. I need to try harder to understand this stuff,

I love my boyfriend I just don't think ille ver get him and that's alright but also I wanna try very hard to understand bc he's a sweetheart

[nunbot9k]

Lately we've watched together like. A couple of movies that include people that look like him and he seems to really be focusing on that we watched sinners and he said he's never in his life seen an asian vampire in a Hollywood movie. He was all he would talk abt for a few days afterwards. And today we watched some Asian animation and I joked the secondary antagonist looked like him and he seemed to really enjoy that. He kept asking me if I really think so and he mentioned how he's gonna rewatch the movie tmr w his sister and. This is probably a weird feelings. Being in your twenties and seeing yourself in movies for the first time (?) I caught myself thinking. Well I never cared abt seeing myself in media and I feel like no one rlly looks like me but. How true is that. I grew up seeing myself everywhere. After the movie was done he immediately pulled out his drawing tablet and. I don't know. I guess I worry I'm making this about race when maybe he's not rlly thinking abt it that much? I feel embarrassed

I love my boyfriend I just don't think ille ver get him and that's alright but also I wanna try very hard to understand bc he's a sweetheart

[nunbot9k]

I love my boyfriend I just don't think ille ver get him and that's alright but also I wanna try very hard to understand bc he's a sweetheart

[nunbot9k]

Watching people on here speak about their crushes ans ppl they're in love with and knowing I'll never get that treatment from anyone. Because I'm just not that kind of person. I'm not kind ans sweet and patient. And no one will speak nicely of me in my absence. I have one talent and it's fucking people. I do that well. That's why ppl stick around. Even my partner who never rlly compliments me on anything, admitted I'm good at it. And even though we don't sleep together often because. There's not much fun you can have w a person that looks like me, no matter how good I'm at topping I weigh like 50kgs,i can't fully please them. I know I'm still kind of good at it. It won't gain me anyone's adoration though. I have many friends and I have many partners but love is not a possibility for me because I'm also unable to reciprocate

And I can't do anything to fix how unlovable I am. I'm not even that ugly. I'm just insanely. Awful. I hate almost every single person I've ever met. I'm stuck up and self absorbed I genuinely can't bring myself to like people. Or things. Im so damn difficult. But my body is begging for love even though I know I really cannot. Take it. And since people won't give it to me the next best thing is being on the giving side which. Gets annoying rlly fast when ur not getting anything back and I'm always left thinking how good it'd feel to be the one receiving

[nunbot9k]

All this would hurt way less if I was just one of those retards that refuse to sommunicate. But I'm the opposite. I'm incredibly vocal. Anything I need I ask for right away. I tell people how to fix things I know what I want and I constantly ask for it. People just don't care enough to do those things I can be very straightforward and go. Hey can you do this for me I like that. And ppl will just say. No because I don't want to. I'm not talking abt anything insane I'll just ask for comfort sometimes or to be told nice things. Nothing will work. No one gives a fuck and there's nothing you can do to make them care.

And I can't do anything to fix how unlovable I am. I'm not even that ugly. I'm just insanely. Awful. I hate almost every single person I've ever met. I'm stuck up and self absorbed I genuinely can't bring myself to like people. Or things. Im so damn difficult. But my body is begging for love even though I know I really cannot. Take it. And since people won't give it to me the next best thing is being on the giving side which. Gets annoying rlly fast when ur not getting anything back and I'm always left thinking how good it'd feel to be the one receiving