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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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i love illegal immigration like yes bitch get in here

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the main thing to remember about Kathryn Janeway is that she believes very strongly in the power of diplomacy despite, and this is an understatement, not being good at it

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something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

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Population per capita in each U.S.A. state.

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I have come into possession of an ornithology book from the 1930's and they had such a way of describing birds back then, modern publishers of birding booking should take note! Here are some of the bangers.

yes, this book refers to the anhinga as a water-turkey

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Indignant poster: "Oh so adults aren't allowed to watch cartoons?"

Wise poster: "Steven universe is the only thing that grows in my low-potassium soil. I pickle and eat him come winter."

Admiral Yi Sun Shin: "I have invented a new type of ship that will devestate the Japanese navy."

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“My favourite thing was a bunch of people made a giant sign that said “How am I going to be an octopus about this?” and held it up during Pompeii at all the right times and it distracted me enough to sing “octopus” instead by accident.”

— Dan Smith [x] (via bastillewtf)

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2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

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Ma'am this is the space restaurant we only serve bumpy fruit and severed tentacle

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my solution to copyright is that everything unconditionally becomes public domain with the creator's death. anything held by a group will lose their rights with the death of its leader; whether it be a CEO for corporations or a president for state media. this will solve no problems but will lead to extremely funny assassinations

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Every post is about me