nurzedandconfused-blog

[nurzedandconfused-blog]

Hello Earthlings

Hey y’all. Like how I just used the word y’all casually like I’m some Louisiana native hurtin’ for some gumbo and grits? When in reality I’m the most PNW, touque-wearin’, plaid-rockin’, shaft drinkin’, hipster lumbersexual in the entire world? With a dash of gangsta, of course. If I were a dude, I would have a perfectly sculpted beard, wear flannel on the regular, and have the toughest choice choosing from an array of delightful craft brews. Kinda funny that was just a description of my current boyfriend! Alright, enough of this mumbo jumbo and let’s get to the real shiz. Why am I writing this blog? TBH, as I have written this intro out I have asked myself the same question about 7-8 times. I guess I am using this as a creative and emotional outlet. Ugh, I just sounded like the most basic ass bitch. But LET ME EXPLAIN. As of late, I have been feeling a bit out of sorts. Not terrible, not over joyous, just kind of meh. This has happened to me before, and I think I have finally deciphered the root cause of it all - CHANGE. I do not like change. I am not like one of those lizards that can adapt and change their colour when a predator is in their midst. I am more like a 75 year old Grandpa named Herb who yells at people to “get off his damn lawn” and whose main retort when asked about the status of the world is “dammit, Helen, I’ve told you this before. If things were only the way they were back in the 1960′s these damn millennials would have JOBS instead of shaking their rears to the sound of two robots having sex in a damp cave surrounded by hallucinogenic substances (ie- Shambhala). Things were simpler back in those days”.

2017 has been a huge year for me.. emotionally, educationally, professionally, and personally.

1) I met the most cutest, sweetest, love of my whole entire dreams (ew I hate myself)

2) I graduated nursing school

3) I took my first official position as an actual NURSE (omg)

4) I passed my NCLEX and became a REGISTERED nurse, no less (gasp!)

With these changes have come some excellent things, such as my boeuf (that is French for boyfriend), and some things that have challenged my inner core as a person (such as taking on the full responsibilities of an RN and pooping my pants every time I have to come in to work). 

In addition, the transition of my life from student to working person (what is this, how they say, full-time-werk?!) has been difficult for me. I was really getting used to the idea of being a full-time, forever scholar after 7 years of post secondary. I constantly was busy, had things that I needed to complete, and opportunities for achievement and fulfillment everywhere I turned. Now that I have been working as a nurse for 6 months, I guess I am waiting for those feelings of accomplishment again, and they are there occasionally, but not to the same extent. I will get in to all of this in later posts. Basically, I need some interests and hobbies now that I have graduated. I need to feel fulfilled, like I am growing as a person, like I am making a difference to not just my patients, but myself as well. I am important. For the last 7 years I have been neglecting myself, and I am tired of it.

This blog will hopefully be a safe space where I can let my thoughts, feelings, opinions, memes, and rants flow. I need to get a lot of stuff out there, I just have not had a medium. I think this will be the perfect one, and I am hopeful that this will help me feel less “meh”.  Funny how my post started out with jokes, but shiz got real towards the end. Kind of like myself as a person, surface level I am funny and it is safe, but damn is the deeper level dig worth it. 

xx,

E-T