nympho-adhd-programmer

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

Anyone else has a super complicated system with their music playlists and wishes spotify/apple/youtube/soundcloud/etc. had some extra features for organizing/categorizing? Like,

Imagine you could create something I call an "Aggregate Playlist" or a "Linked Playlist"

Basicall this would be a playlist like any other which you can listen to, but the way you add songs to it is you don't lmao

Basically you just choose playlists that should constitute this "linked" or "aggregate" playlist, and the contents of those playlists combined is what equals that new playlist.

I'd fucking love this feature because you could be having a set of regular Playlists "Trap, Dubstep, Electronic Pop, DnB, Techno, Goa, etc." and then also have an (I prefer to say aggregate tbh) aggregate playlist "EDM". This playlist would automatically maintain an aggregated version of everything you consider EDM. I love this idea because you could theoretically stack these and construct entire tree-like hierarchies of aggregate and regular playlists and create the ultimate tool for musical expression for my autistic ass brain which likes representing things in hierarchical structures because I do nothing but code all day and then after that code some more but chill a bit and use that chill coding as a distraction from the intense coding

Got oddly specific there at the end

Please tell me my adhd programmer autism nymphomaniac borderline crazy schizophrenic ass is somehow in any capacity r e l a t a b l e

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

ADHDers overexplain everything cuz we're traumatized from all the times people misunderstood us and got mad at us even though we meant nothing bad.

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

Oh my god, this is so fucking beautiful

By i_m8_art

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

Today is indeed such a day

A day, where I would give everything to just walk into your welcoming home, and cry my eyes out,

because everything is fucking horrible

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

Damn I never thought of Janeway having ADHD, but I am all for it

Further Evidence of Janeway's ADHD:

She's the only one drinking coffee at 9pm:

She literally cannot sit still or pay attention any longer:

She's about to fall out of her chair now?!?!

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

abandonware should be public domain. force companies to actively support and provide products if they don't wanna lose the rights to them

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

And as Icarus flew closer to the sun, he felt his wings of wax melt away in the blazing heat of the sun.

And he continued, fully aware it might be his end

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

TW: Self Harm

I am so filled with thoughts and emotions right now. I feel like so much has happened, and I am absolutely losing my mind, because there's no way on earth my anxiety driven brain can analyze and interpret all of those thoughts and emotions. I am so overwhelmed by all of this.

I feel a vast array of both extremely negative and extremely positive emotions, and it's just too much.

And I feel this weird desire, not to cut open my arms and harm myself on purpose, but rather "let off some steam" and ignoring the physical harm that would do to me. Let me explain:

Where I live, we have these big metal containers to bring old clothing to, which then get's shipped (allegedly) to poor people who can still use them. And these containers, as weird as it may sound, have like the perfect characteristics for lettin off steam. The metal wall has the right amount of give (unlike a concrete wall for example) so that I can punch it over and over again will full force, and "only" "bruise" my hand badly, instead of breaking every fucking bone inside it. Afterwards, my hand would surely bleed, the skin torn off, would hurt for fucking days.

But weirdly enough, what would my broken soul not give right now for an uniterruptable and private session of me punching a metal container whole ferociously screaming and crying until my hand bleeds and hurts so much, that I can't help but stop.

And then, one final devastating hit, because that one, especially after a short pause, hurts exceptionally well.

Now I wonder: What the fuck is wrong with me. Why can't I process emotions like a normal human being and just cry or something like that? Why does it gotta have to be this fucked up shit mix of aggression towards inanimate objects and passive self harm???????

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

by swiss_bengal

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

3 AM

I don't know how to interpret this

I feel like this brought us closer together, but at the same time I feel like I came uncomfortably close and have to distance myself

BUT WHICH ONE IS IT, ONE OR THE OTHER? I CAN'T STOP FUCKING OVERTHINKING

So, seeing as I do want to sleep, I will put on some Minecraft music. It's so calming.

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

Somehow, I don't even care anymore; I don't care about the distance between us. It's not that I like this, of course I would much rather prefer to be closer to you

But lately, I have stopped focusing on the bad, how far apart we are, and have started focusing on the good, that I can spend so much time with you

It just fills me with joy to be around you-

No, no that's not right. Saying your presence fills me with joy would be an understatement. The thing you gift me, without even knowing it, is the strength to keep fighting my battles.

It's so fucking unbearable sometimes, and you singlehandedly made it so much more bearable. Because I started to trust you. Not logically, I can easily trust someone fully on like a logical level, if I know that that someone is a good-hearted human being.

No, I mean on an emotional level, on a level that I cannot control.

I can (and will) choose to trust or to not trust someone.

But you? I have no choice, I can't help it but trust you with every fiber of my being

And I am sorry, that this resulted in me burdening you with my pain.

But you, you insist that it was okay, that it was justified, that it was necessary.

And I sat there, pathetically trembling in despair, anxiety, hopelessness, pain and fear,

for you were my anchor, my love.

I am so sorry. I never wanted this to happen, but you just made it too tempting to be vulnerable.

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

“I’m not scared of loving, I’m scared of losing myself all over again”

— Unknown

[nympho-adhd-programmer]

The end of things...

Sooo, november started huh? Christmas time is approaching or has even arrived for some. Somehow, this year's end feels special, though I cannot really explain why.

A lot of my friend's pets have died recently, all one by one. Kinda seems like a chapter is closing. I miss them, and I plan on doing some drawings for every one that lost them. My boyfriend, Lena etc I wanna make them happy, but I haven't told anyone about my plans yet. I wanna gift them personalized caricatures of their pets for Christmas, as a memory of sorts.

Our move has ended, kind of, there's still lots of small things to do around our new apartment but we've finally moved in. It's way bigger but also feels more homey than our old one. Even though we've only been living there for a week. My room has taken on a life of it's own, so all plans I had are slowly being reworked to fit. I plan on hanging up a few pictures, and hang up some plants, a few more lights etc just stuff to make it more 'me'.

But right now, I'm getting slowly into the Christmas spirit. I bought some blue and pink Christmas baubles as well as a broken ballerina i found on a shelve. She misses a hand but I couldn't resist and bought her any way. I wanted to give her a new life and a chance to dance on a tree and not end up in a dumpster. I wanna have my own little tree this year and some window decorations as well.

Work has been stressful with the move and all, but I'm trying to stay as positive as I can. It's pretty hard sometimes though.

But I gotta be honest, somehow it feels different this year. Normally I'd embrace Christmas,knowing that another year will start instantly. But... This year it really does feel like an ending of things. But a good one. A growing one if that makes sense. Like we all are growing right now, without being aware. Loosing pets may be part of that. Outgrowing them and starting a new chapter, a new us. I'm ready to take on that challenge and become someone new. Someone I can be proud of as well.

I wanna be someone people can depend on and look up to, someone who cares and loves 100% every day.