nynagaram

[nynagaram]

remember when toni morrison wrote the most tender and hopeful meditation on parenting and motherhood

[nynagaram]

if this tv show was making me feel tv show emotions that would be one thing. unfortunately it’s making me feel real life emotions about real life things. im a grown woman, i know i cant do that and then go BACK to the ED the next morning like come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ironically, I’m in the ED this week so if I watch the pitt finale on thurs it might actually kill me

[nynagaram]

ironically, I’m in the ED this week so if I watch the pitt finale on thurs it might actually kill me

[nynagaram]

[nynagaram]

not me rewriting my post-match thank you notes to mentors to be more and more emotionless, like all these nice people who gave me advice and reassurance are going to respond like

to my actual feelings

of course, my unfiltered terror and relief is reserved for u weirdos on my tumblr blog :) ha ha just kidding im not putting that on the internet for free

[nynagaram]

statement from mahmoud khalil shared by the center for constitutional rights

[nynagaram]

"I know that the situation gets to them — and may ultimately get them — on all kinds of levels, but I am nevertheless amazed at their strength in being able to defend such a large degree of their humanity — laughter, generosity, family-time — against the incredible horror occurring in their lives and against the constant presence of death. I felt much better after this morning. I spent a lot of time writing about the disappointment of discovering, somewhat first-hand, the degree of evil of which we are still capable. I should at least mention that I am also discovering a degree of strength and of basic ability for humans to remain human in the direst of circumstances — which I also haven’t seen before. I think the word is dignity. I wish you could meet these people. Maybe, hopefully, someday you will."

— Rachel Corrie, "Let Me Stand Alone" : The Journals of Rachel Corrie

[nynagaram]

it’s genuinely so funny that im alive and this is what im doing

[nynagaram]

bro, you gotta get on tumblr. its like a public diary that anyone can make fun of or report to the police

[nynagaram]

remembering that octopus brains are donut shaped cause their esophagus goes thru the middle of their head and sometimes they die from brain damage from meal too big, and saying a long prayer before bed every night that if something like that happens to me i will be able to handle it gracefully

[nynagaram]

ITS WINTER WHILE GEMMA IS IN THE UNDERWORLD AND SPRING WHEN SHES ON EARTH. WHAT KIND OF PERSEPHONE SHIT

[nynagaram]

ok I feel bad for implying it’s not ok to show emotion or cry in these situations. I hope that’s not what came across. I had a social worker give me really good advice once that you should try to notice whether your expression of emotion is “for you, or for them” as a way to guide what’s appropriate. That’s the leadership decision I took issue with—Robby’s expression of grief was for him, not the team.

Im glad that debrief in the latest ep got interrupted. I almost started laughing at how badly it was going, I kind of want to know wtf Robby’s thought process was. Like yeah, everyone is shaken up from unsuccessfully coding a small child, maybe what I should do is start talking abt a similar experience that I clearly haven’t processed at all and get so worked up that I’m almost in tears within like 0.5 seconds. This is a healthy team dynamic strong work everyone

[nynagaram]

Im glad that debrief in the latest ep got interrupted. I almost started laughing at how badly it was going, I kind of want to know wtf Robby’s thought process was. Like yeah, everyone is shaken up from unsuccessfully coding a small child, maybe what I should do is start talking abt a similar experience that I clearly haven’t processed at all and get so worked up that I’m almost in tears within like 0.5 seconds. This is a healthy team dynamic strong work everyone

[nynagaram]

I wish I could get into this more, but that would be really inappropriate. Not my story to tell for the most part. I’ve been thinking about it all weekend tho and probably will periodically for the rest of my life. It’s very sobering and a little scary when people with 1000000x more wisdom and experience are vulnerable with you. Anywayyyyyyyyyyy everyone listen to my favorite Stevie Wonder song. I like the bridge where he goes into that growl of pure conviction the best. Around 3:45

literally too much is happening this week. For Ramadan Eve God got me one of those convos where you put the phone down and walk around your apartment in a daze for half an hour thinking abt wtf just happened.

[nynagaram]

Giovanna Amati  1992

[nynagaram]

literally too much is happening this week. For Ramadan Eve God got me one of those convos where you put the phone down and walk around your apartment in a daze for half an hour thinking abt wtf just happened.

[nynagaram]

this show is literally making me reevaluate whether i need to figure out some new strategies for compartmentalization lol