objectksergeant

[objectksergeant]

Sunday, 6 June, 2021

Its been hard to keep up with my thoughts, and recording them because they come at times when im about to fall asleep, or just getting ready to get off the bus in the morning and something changes my path to think of other things.

I gifted my bell back to Julia for her birthday, I had felt for the few days before class that my time with the bell had better come to an end. It was probably bored of being wrapped up and lugged around with me everywhere i went. I can imagine Julia will find its home, listen to where it wants to be taken to rest. It was such a gorgeous bell, so delicate and the sound was precious. I didnt get an urge to draw my object, it felt too forced and i was getting to know it in other ways.

I feel grateful for the lessons id learnt from it, and I thank Julia for bringing this into my life. I enjoyed the non-judgemental energy from the group, it felt magical having conversations about things that outside the hall, and these people, would make me ‘crazy’. I have a new outlook on life, how i live. I second guess alot, and wonder about things that were never brought to my attention. Its helped me deal with my shit, and i wish i could articulate all this knowledge better to help others understand. I feel like ive been given a crazy gift. The lense of a child again, and its come through in my work. I was in a slump with life, with my art too - art block really. But, and i learnt this previously to Julias class but never fully applied it - Ive already lived this life, this exhibition coming up this friday that i have to still paint for? Ive already painted it. Its no worries. I listen to what my canvas, my paint, my reference images want me to do because they already know. I need to listen and see them more. Same with the people in my life. 

I feel as though i have more patience and time for not only objects, but for the people in my life - personal or a stranger. This is probably influenced also on the book i mentioned earlier, you dont know what the fuck is going on with someone or something until it interrupts your life. We need to think about our actions, our perception. From other point of view’s, the what ifs.

I hope this makes sense to whoever gets to read this ?? i know its alot of ramble, my brain is ping ponging all over my brain, unable to pause on one thing because all the other beautiful thoughts will be forgotten. I know that this is for a grade so thats what im expected to do - articulate every single thing bouncing around up there.

 but i cant. and thats the beauty of it. my own little secret brain, its all there for when i need it. 

Julia, again i just want to thank you for this wonderful class, it has been the highlight of my year without sounding like a kiss ass. I hope you continue this elective and project. Yes the reading i personally found difficult, but when you broke it down in class it all clicked together in my mind and i understood. i hope you enjoy the bell as much as i did.

And i hope we can get the group back together again soon, cause i love them all x

[objectksergeant]

the most beautiful afternoon

i hope julia had a fantastic day 🦋

[objectksergeant]

this one !!! once you learn of an object , it relates to you, effects you, evokes emotion or reminds you of something —— seeing it in a different light. then you see it for what it is

same with people

connections w the two , apply to the object world

[objectksergeant]

reading this book along side this class , and finding a lot of - what’s the way to put t ???

there’s similarities between the object world and human work - and lessons we are learning in this elective on how to live with objects, see them and understand them , are then applied to human relationships (this book)

there’s been more parts i’ve ready that are quite significant (in my mind anyway) that’s i’ve forgotten to document - i’ll go back and find them. but recommend the read %100

[objectksergeant]

blind and touch contours , they turn into little bell flowers

and i think i’m gonna do an abstract painting with these x

[objectksergeant]

MONDAY, 24 MAY, 2021

i dont know how i feel today,

i spoke about how i felt opening the object would weird cause death. Well it has.

An old friend of mine as passed away this morning, she was bubbly and beautiful and my heart aches. As per, it never sinks in initially. But i get the odd moment of realisation when looking at a photo of her, i every so slightly grasp the fact that her time on earthside is no longer, and that she is gone. The pain her family must be feeling, i run through my mind how each and every loved one of hers must be feeling or doing right now. 

[objectksergeant]

[objectksergeant]

im going to paint its aura when im home

i was wondering if i clean it or not - decided not too. Thats the equivilent of removing wrinkles with plastic surgery. You proof of living is erased, and seen as an unattractive trait. I see wrinkles and grey hair etc as beautiful. Wrinkles on the edges of your eyes and around your mouth shows all your happy moments blah blah.

ive also decided to keep the sticker, and the paper it was wrapped in. Not sure what for yet, but it DOESN’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING ME U SILLY HUMAN LET IT BEEEEEE

[objectksergeant]

SUNDAY, 23 MAY, 2021

(also from phone notes)

Sunday, 23 May, 2021

Ive decided to repair the bells broken pieces. As you can see in the photos, the top handle had shattered into 4, and the inner part that creates the chime/ring. It was a tricky mission as the glue wasn’t co-operating with the ceramic surface, but I realised it was because I was in a flustered mood caused by my current environment, and I was being impatient with the drying time and holding it in place. As the pieces fit together it looked seamless; rewarding for me.

Now I can finally hear its sound, and its as sweet and gentle as the bell itself.

Im unsure whether this was a loaded object when I received it or not. Im unsure whether it had much significance in Julias life as some of the others had - this doesn’t bother me, I’m just curious.

It looks like its either had a well used life, or it has rested in a grubby weathered place without any appreciation. Julia throughout class would point out a few of the objects that were loaded, and held a lot of meaning to her, and some that she cared very little about, or just had found. Regardless they all have their lessons, and I am very happy with mine. I hope its happy I chose it.

[objectksergeant]

THURSDAY, 20 May, 2021

(from my phone notes)

Thursday, 20 May, 2021

I couldn’t ask my object how I could serve/help it until it revealed itself to me. I knew my time with the unknown object was up, and in order ‘take the relationship to the next level’ I’d have to unwrap it.

My first guess of what the object could be was a bell, due to the faint rattling and the singular point (top of bell), but once I had re-wrapped it and the wrapping started to loose its bounce? Coverage? It began to mould more to the shape. This is when I began thinking it was a shell, and could imagine the stories it would tell me. It took me back to when I was young, and believed it was a literal portal to the ocean - and how special it made me feel.

I opened it with a few friends during lunch. It revealed itself a delicate bell, which had been broken. I was unsure if the damage occurred during the time I’ve had with it, or previously with Julia or another. Was it found broken? Had it broken in my bag my accident? Had I been to rough with it? Now that I know its delicacy - will I be more careful? A whole new world of questions have come along with the un-opening of this gorgeous bell. I am excited to see where this next phase will take it and I.

[objectksergeant]

it’s so sweet i can’t wait to draw it, gonna be a lot more scarier to bring it with me now i know how delicate it really is ! funny how everything relates back to death and relationships between humans - a little cheesy but very true.

[objectksergeant]

the unwrapping !!

i’m not feeling too much about it being broken, it probably happened while it was in my bag at some point ! or maybe it was wrapped broken ? i’m gonna glue it back together anyways :)

[objectksergeant]

photos with my object

1. sitting on my coffee cup in my studio

2. first trip for both it and I to the Auckland Art Gallery , with our friend Reg

3. next to my bed when i sleep at night - a routine

4. the day half the string wrapping came undone

5. start of the macrame with the string that came loose

6. the bag i keep it in along with my written words (scroll)

[objectksergeant]

WEDNESDAY 19 MAY 2021

[objectksergeant]

WEDNESDAY 12 MAY 2021

[objectksergeant]

TUESDAY 11 MAY 2021

(extra notes from that same day, different times - plus some extra thoughts)

[objectksergeant]

TUESDAY 11 MAY 2021