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Holy fuck please someone write this it's amazing

AU where Jason wakes up on the bus with two partners instead of one

“No seriously, I have no Idea who I am, let alone who you guys are,” Jason explained.

“Alright, I’ll bite,” Leo said. “This is Piper, your amazing girlfriend.”

“And this is Leo,” Piper said. “Your amazing boyfriend.”

“I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend?” Jason asked. He might have amnesia but gods had he hit the jackpot in terms of partners.

“I know right?” Leo joked. “Somehow a complete dork like you scored two smoking hot babes? Piper and I must be doing charity work at this point.”

“If anyone’s doing charity work its me,” Piper said. “Dating both of you losers—“

“Wait—“ Jason said. “I’m dating Leo and you; and you two are dating each other?”

“Pretty much,” Piper affirmed.

“Awesome.”

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Times are tough; Have a Bat

/|\ ^._.^ /|\

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I love disabling my blorbos.

what if will lost his leg in the titan war.

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I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

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Nico: :(

Will: Turn that frown upside down

Nico: ):

Will: Now listen here you little shit

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Me: It’s clearly the lactose intolerance that’s making my tummy hurt

Anxiety disorder: Yeah but what if your appendix is about to explode

Me: I did all the tests like falling down on my ankles and pressing my stomach and the pain didn’t get any worse and I have no fever and also the pain has moved to my left side now. And I ate a bunch of yogurt earlier without remembering to take lactaid. Clearly the lactose is just moving through my intestines.

Anxiety disorder: Yes but hear me out. What if your appendix is about to explode.

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can you come get your boyfriend? he just growled at me

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Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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Dude I hate being disabled. I want to be sleeping, but instead I'm up way too late because I can feel my hip fucking s e p e r a t i n g from my body

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I wanna say I'm giggling and kicking my feet about Leo’s trauma-induced altered sleep habits but actually I'm growing and barking and foaming at the mouth

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my therapist dalton will say shit like, “how are you feeling?”

and so i’ll say, “like oatmeal that’s been forgotten in the microwave for four hours” or “an achromatic kaleidoscope” or “like a hamster wheel without the hamster” or “like a whirlybird falling from the top of a tree” or “like a baby animal with spindly legs going viral on the internet because people think me looking stupid while learning to walk is hilarious” or “like someone is watching me walk downhill” or “like ikea furniture that didn’t come with instructions” or “like the ambiguous blue liquid being absorbed by a paper towel in a commercial” or “like the human equivalent of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” or “like the sound a wet trout makes when smacked against a wall”

and then he’ll say some shit like “berklie we’ve been over this. you have to say how you feel not what you feel like.”

and then i’ll say something like, “i dunno. just like the way waluigi says ‘wah.’”

and then he’ll say some shit like, “berklie for the love of god you have got to give me an emotion and not a metaphor.”

and then i’ll have to say something like, “fine. i guess i feel bored. or listless. or apathetic, but only in regards to myself.”

and then he’ll say some shit like, “berklie, that’s depression.”

and then i’ll say, “how was i supposed to know?”

only i’m sisyphus and my emotions are a boulder and once a week a man who has an extensive knowledge of mules gees and haws me until i manage to drag out the government name of an emotion from somewhere.

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Will: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Nico: Only if you also don't ask why.

Nico: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag*

Will: ...

Will, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

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posting a standalone version!!

based on the lovely story by @mediumgayitalian for @willsolaceweek day 7.

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Shoutout to that one moot who’s always reblogging my stuff, I love you bestie ✨

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@cordeliaandthecocoapuffs @mediumgayitalian @sarcasmandships @queenjunothegreat your writing is like this

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something