oceanvduchu

[oceanvduchu]

[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

[oceanvduchu]

i don't know if people know this but the idea that AGAB is useful in medical contexts is actually actively dangerous

one of my friends has CAIS. they were assigned female and have a prostate. they have been denied prostate exams multiple times on the basis of "being assigned female" despite insisting that they had valid concerns about symptoms that aligned with prostate cancer. guess what happened when they finally got an exam? they ended up having prostate cancer

it fortunately is now in complete remission, which is why they're comfortable with me talking about it, but you see the issue here? biology is never as simple as assigned sex, by judging the care someone needs by their proximity to maleness or femaleness any mixed or otherwise "abnormal" sex characteristics they have are completely ignored

it doesn't just affect intersex people either, you're throwing trans people under the bus as well. transitioning does change your sex characteristics, trans people should have access to medical care that is catered to their body and not to their assigned sex

[oceanvduchu]

love to sit behind my cat and give him a tiny shoulder rub like he just got back from a long day at the office. it's tax season he's a CPA. he works so hard for this family

[oceanvduchu]

hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"

[oceanvduchu]

letter and image sourced from the digital transgender archive

lithography on paper, 2024

[oceanvduchu]

we both laughed in pleasure, by lou sullivan:

You could go to the bar any night alone + come back with a beautiful youngman. I wouldn’t even be welcome into the bar…and even if I got in, I’d be so ashamed that I was a woman that I’d leave quickly, lost, apologetically + want to cry in desperation. I don’t even know if there was anyone that’s ever felt as I do…how they coped, what they did…how do I find out what someone like me does? (I remember writing this same question many diaries back…in probably one of my first ones.)

[oceanvduchu]

so i actually need MORE body hair, it’s a requirement thanks

[oceanvduchu]

i can tell im getting depressed again bc my brain is trying to implode itself with how badly i want physical affection

[oceanvduchu]

Two students hanging out in their dorm room at the University of Illinois, 1910.

[oceanvduchu]

I'm not queer. I'm disembodied.

QUEER (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

[oceanvduchu]

born to be some dumb faggot online

[oceanvduchu]

Kirsten Valentine, Boxers, c. 2018 

Oil on canvas, 18 x 18 in

[oceanvduchu]

Michael Brandon as Roberto Tobias in Four Flies on Grey Velvet

[oceanvduchu]

Sebastiane (1976) | dir. Derek Jarman & Paul Humfress

[oceanvduchu]

I love him. He is beautiful. More beautiful than Adonis. — SEBASTIANE (1976) dir. Derek Jarman

[oceanvduchu]

Sebastiane (1976) dir. Paul Humfress and Derek Jarman

[oceanvduchu]

no thoughts, just paul mcgann in ‘withnail and i’