octobi05

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If i dont [experience pathologically concerning sex act] within the next [arbitrary time period] im going to [federal agency watchphrase]

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🌟⚜️🌟Stars Clouds🌟⚜️🌟

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I don't know if you've ever been to Paris before, but I recommend going. Normally, I would not have gone, but I made a really rich enemy on IRC and he spent a lot of money to have me kidnapped and brought to his home country. While I was there, I got to try a bunch of restaurants (they're hostage-takers, not barbarians) and came away impressed. Something was missing, though, and herein is my genius idea.

In Paris you can get any kind of food. Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Thai: and it's all good. All of it. You literally can't find a bad restaurant. At one point, I walked into a convenience store and got a plate of one-Euro nachos that made me cry at the beauty of the arrangement.

Everyone around me was taking this for granted. Having lived there for years, their quality threshold had crept invisibly upwards until nothing could impress again. They needed something to re-calibrate their sense of truly bad food. That's where I came in. After I got kicked out of the country, I decided to come back with some investor support. I can burn cereal, usually by roasting it gently with a blowtorch on the top of an old gas can. Investors were easy to find.

Our first week of opening was tremendous. Hardened Parisians were discovering their first taste of truly incompetent food. The novelty of it all had captured them. There's just one problem, though: after making an entire lunch rush's feast of poorly-cut toast in reheated canned soup, my cooking skills began to improve from sheer experience. The complaints began to change tone. You got too good, they cried, you're not the same bad chef we once loved. Again, I was deported.

I looked out the window of the plane as it left De Gaulle, staring down onto the beautiful streets of Paris. Down there, I imagined, real gourmets were now eating food out of trash cans out of desperation to recapture what they had experienced with me. If there is one nice thing to be said, I now have two Michelin Stars here in my homeland of Canada, where my consommé-and-grilled-cheese recipe is now so much better than most of our restaurants that it made the Prime Minister Herself come and spit in my face for ruining the economy, before awarding me an Order of Canada. It's not the same.

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1920s French silk/cotton brassieres

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Confiscated pens containing cheat notes intricately carved by a student at the University of Malaga, Spain. (2022)

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are you worried

About what? But yeah

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pati wu

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ilaria toma

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they call me the problem ignorer for reasons that i know but dont feel like addressing right now

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I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

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Egypt before and after the plagues

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Arrowhead (Yanonē)H. O. Havemeyer Collection, Bequest of Mrs. H. O. Havemeyer, 1929 Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY Medium: Steel

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Día de muertos altar in honor of Palestine, CDMX.

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sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

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Hilma af Klint, The Eros series, No.2, Group II, Series WU/The Rose 1907

more

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men supporters are like it's so unfair that women get to cry and cut themselves and men are only allowed to show their feelings by mass shooting