odd-stories - Tumblr blog

[odd-stories]

[odd-stories]

frirby

[odd-stories]

this is how they basically met, right?

(inspired by @oinkoikawas ‘s memes)

[odd-stories]

[odd-stories]

Dozens of NYC Subway riders, fresh off a Robyn concert, singing “Dancing On My Own” while waiting for the E train. (Video by Triszh Hermogenes) 

[odd-stories]

everyone is addicted to my Fun and Flirty personality. lives have been destroyed ...

[odd-stories]

I think the sloth fandom is the craziest of all fandoms.

I mean

Look

At

These

Sloths

No really

These people are

Weirder than

The Sherlockians

[odd-stories]

I think the sloth fandom is the craziest of all fandoms.

I mean

Look

At

These

Sloths

No really

These people are

Weirder than

The Sherlockians

[odd-stories]

I think the sloth fandom is the craziest of all fandoms.

I mean

Look

At

These

Sloths

No really

These people are

Weirder than

The Sherlockians

[odd-stories]

How in the world did CDPR get this game past compliance, holy shit

[odd-stories]

i noticed my burnout comic was making rounds but the full comic is no longer available after the collegehumor website went offline…. so here it is!!!

i wrote/drew this back in 2018 when i was struggling w hella burnout and depression. i hope everyone is taking care of themselves :3

[odd-stories]

Maybe setting the break room on fire wasn’t the best way to test my abilities. I could have started small, gone home and played with a lighter but as my mother said, go big or go home. That advice proving rather horrible as I watched the orange flames dance around the break room, slowly creeping towards me as I retreated towards the door, only to feel my back collide with the chest of my boss.

“I didn’t mean to set the break room on fire, It’s a funny story. I was going to test my supposed magical abilities on the stove and someone must have spilled some oil or something on the stove and boom, the place goes up in flames.”

I could only laugh as the man’s stern-faced seemed to pucker, as if someone had just dropped a pack of sour lollies into his mouth, only now starting to feel their effect.

It was horrible, not only was I going to be fined and possibly jailed for this, but I would also be fired which was a Catch 22. How could I pay back my fines if I had no money? Accepting my fate, I gave a silent prayer to the God of human resources hoping he may be merciful.

“Haha, that’s Craig for you, always setting the house on fire with his work ethic. Excellent work sport.”

It stunned me, receiving a firm smack across my back as the man adjusted his tie, acting as if the fire was only a bit of tacky CGI. He looked around the room before glancing down at me.

“Please call the fire department, A fire is terrible for business, or so I have heard. Keep up the superb work and you might even be promoted my little fire starter.”

Again reduced to silence, only able to sputter out a small.

“T-thank you, sir, I’ll get right onto it.”

I couldn’t believe it, even as I called the fire department, I expected him to come in and change his mind. It was like I was unfire.... Oh. I could almost laugh, it seems the genie twisted my words, making me unfireable. It was kind of nice but also I was a little miffed about not being able to jump into pits of fire, that would have been more fun. But beggars can’t be choosers.

The next few months were great, because of my ability I could work my way up a few positions, sitting on a comfortable $80,000 plus job, Spending all of my time just swinging back and forth in my chair, at first I would get scared when the boss would suddenly intrude to see me goofing off, only for him to give me a smile and nod.

“Hard at work, or hardly working. You should take a break, you work too hard.”

He laughed, and I awkwardly laughed along with him. That fear of losing my job soon fading, it was getting to the point where I didn’t even bother getting dressed for work, just rocking up in my sleepwear, happily arriving at my desk only to blindly tap away at the keyboard, not even entering any information. I often questioned why I even came to work, its not like my job would vanish if I didn’t show up. I think I just enjoyed the routine, If I were to leave and stay home all day, I would grow bored.

Soon I started to spread my talents, applying for new jobs, accepting them and then never showing up for more than an interview. After all, once I was hired, I was unfirable. Life was good and it would remain good, at least until we have another office fire and I’m reminded of how much cooler my ability could have been.

[odd-stories]

I was merely an observer- a "recorder", someone who was there to record history while it was in the making. I didn't have a super power- it seemed my fate was merely to watch those who did.

I was content with it, for the most part- only when I saw someone in need, someone in danger, would I feel the pang of misery that comes from being helpless.

Currently, the most significant villain, by far, was facing off against our most renowned hero. The odd thing was- I was watching them up close, something no one else had ever been courageous enough to do- and I was having trouble telling them apart.

The villain- his name was Rupert Kinmock, also known as Aspire. He stood at nearly seven feet tall, with a lean and strong frame- yet he was practically dwarfed by the hero, Neuro, whose real name wasn't public information. Neuro was a mountain of a man- so large that people speculated he wasn't truly human.

Neuro's powers were very simple- any force that was sent his way, he could counter it. If three thousand pounds of steel were dropped on his head, he could produce three thousand and one pounds of resistance- anything that made it within his 'radius', he could stop.

Aspire had some kind of telekinetic ability- with his mind alone, he was hurling rubble at Neuro, hoping to overwhelm his defenses. I could overhear them, hidden as I was behind a boulder- and occasionally, I could even risk taking a look.

One voice rang out, "Your days of trickery are done! The public needs to know your true face!" That must have been Neuro- I hadn't heard him speak until now. Chills went down my spine- this man was a true shield for our society.

A deep, guttural voice responded. "I don't know howyou learned what you know, but it won't even be of help. I lose nothing from you gaining knowledge."

Crashing noises- I took a quick look.

Neuro was nowhere to be seen. Aspire stood in the center, crouched low, preparing for Neuro's inevitable strike- how odd, Neuro didn't have any offensive capability until he was fed an attack to start with.

I hid again. More sound of struggle- and one of them gasped in pain.

"I learned simply by observing, fool. Your guild of heroes- there is a trail for every secret misdeed, every half-written report has a missing reporter- and everyone who gets close to you winds up dead!"

"That is meaningless." The deeper voice responded, breathing heavily. "The public has nothing but adoration for me. They do not look to see, because they do not want to see- just the same is the root of my power."

I was thoroughly confused. Which was which, again?

I peeked once more- and was floored by the changed scene.

Instead of one villain and one hero, I saw what appeared to be two villains. Aspire was there, of course- but Neuro was nowhere to be seen, and someone else- someone with a bleeding wound near their gut- was facing off against him. This one was not the tall, tan, handsome, blonde-haired hero we knew. He was bald, with a cruel look to his eyes. Where had Neuro gone?

"So that's how it works, eh, Neuro?" Aspire laughed. "Even your name gives a hint to your real ability- you show what people want to see, and that is rarely- if ever- the unpleasant truth."

Neuro scowled. "It has worked for over a decade, in the public eye, as my reputation grew, so did my image. It is impenetrable... except, I suppose, to you villains."

Aspire hurled a stray iron pipe towards Neuro, who dodged it by mere inches. "I don't think you have the right to call us the 'villains' and more, Neuro... we're really more like anti-heroes, at this point."

"You realize that you've lost this already, Aspire. Even if I fall, my duped comrades will avenge me, and the truth about my empire will remain obscured by my power, long after my death."

Aspire sneered, and a large cinder block came hurtling towards the back of Neuro's head- this one, he did not dodge.

In an explosion of bloody mist, Neuro was no more. Aspire stood over him, his expression neutral.

As he turned to leave, he made eye contact with me- as I had been frozen in shock this whole time. "Oh, good, we have a witness-" He began.

Neuro, somehow undamaged, lunged at Aspire, sinking a knife into his back.

Aspire gasped inaudibly, pain coloring his expression.

"Just the same, Aspire, as I am expected to win, to live- so shall it be. They see what they want to see."

I managed to duck, as Neuro began to mutilate Aspire's body. I hadn't been seen.

So this was the true face of the "Hero's Guild". It was all based on the powers of one man, and his illusions. How many of the other heroes were simply thugs, sheltered by his power? How could we even kill him, if the world thought he was alive?

I had no answers- but I knew that it was now on me- a powerless historian- to expose Neuro to the whole world.

I began to sneak away, as quietly as possible- until I noticed that Neuro was boring holes into the back of my head with his gaze.