odditys-blog

[odditys-blog]

27/12/21

isnt there nothing more perfect than realising you have become best friends with someone new?

my history with him is ... complicated at best

but while i am writing this we are listening to be more chill the musical together for the first time on a facetime audio share

earlier i told him in confidence an awful secret i discovered; my best friend and my brother had sex while she was sleeping over for my birthday.

i broke up with him because i didnt trust him, i wasnt and couldn't be open to his life, i didnt love him.

[odditys-blog]

this might be my favourite poem ive written :0

[odditys-blog]

i love growing up, being a teenager, living life like a main character

as if i am in a movie.

getting slushies from 7/11 a few afternoons a week with my friends just because its so hot

5 minute walk to my best friend's house and we go to the beach almost every day. it is just a 10 minute bus ride :3

we get ridiculously sunburnt and we smell of salt and seaweed and sunscreen and sweat

we get fish and chips from the shop near our favourite beach called chish n fips. its over priced but delicious

going to the leftist suburbs where there are gay and trans and aboriginal flags in every window,

going to vintage shops and thrift stores

knowing which busses to catch to anywhere in the city, the names becoming familiar and comforting, a home.

426, 418, 425, 370, 373

i walked up to him on the street and started talking to him and he was my boyfriend for a while. now hes just one of my best friends.

i go with my person (my person) to the roof at our favourite park

we climb on top and the metal is hot and my sharpie is hot and when i open the lid the chemical smell wafts through the air

i light a cigarette

or take a hit of my friends stig

we go to a party and i kiss a cute boy with stubble

and hes slightly older than me.

i didnt make any plans yesterday

instead making christmas cookies and lounging outside in the sun, petting one of my black cats, vegemite, while my mum hangs up the clothes to dry

sweat gathers in the small of my back and she tells me about how she grew up

we go to the city every other weekend, knowing all the delicious and cheap food places, all the best markets and crystal shops.

i have thousands of memories littered, everywhere, all over this city, and i see them every time i go

i know all the secret spots

all the hidden roofs

and little places

where we smoke and kiss.

making new friends, hanging out with a different person, different people every day

being sociable

being alive

i am so glad i exist.

[odditys-blog]

"you can sleep now, you said. you can sleep now. you said that. i had a dream where you said that. thanks for saying that.

you weren't supposed to."

- Rihard Siken in his book crush

[odditys-blog]

[odditys-blog]

bapbapbapbapbap

i miss him

but not in a painful way

ive never missed him like this before

i simply want to be around him again

i dont want him to be something he isnt, i dont want him to love something that he doesnt

i simply want a hug

:3

[odditys-blog]

oh my fucking god

i havent been on tumblr in so long, i made a brand new account not even one post yet,

i went to look up my favourite tumblr user

vampireapologist

read their goodbye message

literally cried

and now i will never be the same again

and all their posts r deleted too!! i cant read any of them :((

[odditys-blog]

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

Wild Geese - Mary Oliver