oddrocks

[oddrocks]

golden age Batman didn't give a single shit

[oddrocks]

Their facial expression says it all.

[oddrocks]

first pride🌈

[oddrocks]

local mob boss, puffing on a cigarette angrily:

goon:

Batman, tied to a chair six feet away:

mob boss: did ya have to tie him to the chair with his legs spread open like that?

[oddrocks]

Let's fight crime with mama

[oddrocks]

Dick Grayson: "Relax, I've got sixty hours in the simulator!" SMASH CUT TO: DICK HAVING PLAYED 60 HOURS OF A RACING GAME IN THE CIRCUS I cannot express how hard I lost my shit at this, because they are currently in the middle of trying to outrun an actual firestorm being rained down on them by Firefly, Dick just broke his promise to save himself if things went down, he dragged his 280lb mentor into the Batmobile and probably barely reaches the pedals because he's still like eleven years old and Batman is FULL FORCE YELLING AT HIM for disobeying direct orders and this CHAOS GREMLIN CHILD HAS THE ABSOLUTE NERVES OF STEEL TO SAY RIGHT TO BATMAN'S FACE "Relax, I've got sixty hours in the simulator!" when he knows Batman knows Batman doesn't have a simulator and HE MEANT THAT HE'D PLAYED A BUNCH OF RACING GAMES. Let's be real, Bruce didn't put that kid on a dangerous path, Bruce put a fucking leash on that kid so he was maybe 5% less dangerous and likely to get himself killed and HE WORKED A MIRACLE TO GET THIS FAR.

[oddrocks]

[oddrocks]

Don’t worry, bud, Bruce will get it eventually…

[oddrocks]

[oddrocks]

Well, yes.

[oddrocks]

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

[oddrocks]

someone posts a blurry photo of batman with robin captioned 'lets fight crime with mama' and bruce has to pretend it didnt make him cry

[oddrocks]

I hc Dick will be non-verbal for a bit when Bruce first adopts him

[oddrocks]

he’s been clocking him since the very beginnings i fear.

[oddrocks]

on the job / downtime

[oddrocks]

I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose

[oddrocks]

Dick remembered a word to say when people are yelling!! man, I wonder where he learned that...

He does get very upset when he learns it's bad to say,, Bruce isn't mad of course he thinks it's hilarious