tomorrow
pairing: josh x reader | word count: 1.9k | warnings: mentions of nsfw, kissing (?) | my masterlist
summary: after an unforgettable night with the man you love, you find yourself overcome with doubts about what it all meant for the two of you.
author's note: hiiii everybody! his is sort of a short and sweet one, but i really just wanted to get something out there!! this fic is dedicated to grace (@runwayblues) bc when i asked for fic inspo she said "joshie" and honestly??? that helped. also, this fic is based off of will you love me by carole king bc that song is so beautiful and heartbreaking. also a lot of this fic is me projecting but we're not gonna talk about that!!! (also this fic isn't proofread but what's new tbh)
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You stirred softly in your sleep, opening and closing your eyes slowly as you became accustomed to the sunlight that poured into the room and filled your line of sight. The sheets that rested against your body were soft against your flesh as they cradled you. Feeling the mattress give way to your movements, you slowly turned over. As you did so, strong arms tightened around your waist and pulled you closer until hot, bare skin rested firmly against your back. The man they belonged to hummed softly and nestled his face into the crook of your neck. You smiled faintly as his lips left sweet, lazy kisses on your throat and his wild, messy curls tickled along your jawline.Â
âGood morning, beautiful,â he mumbled in a deep, sleepy whisper. His breath was warm against you, and you felt his legs tangle with your own, keeping you as close to him as possible. You placed your hand over his own and laced your fingers with his. His palms were warm against your skin, and his grip was firm and comforting. It grounded you, keeping you anchored to the moment.Â
You sighed softly as you leaned farther into his touch. âMorning, Josh,â you hummed, as you turned to face him. His arms loosened their grip around you as you moved but not enough for you to slip out of his grasp. You brought one of your hands up to rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart underneath your touch. He was so beautiful like this, a lazy smile painted across his face and half-lidded eyes gazing down at you. It was almost too much to bear. You wanted to tell him how you thought of him. You wanted to use every single last breath in your lungs to sing sweet praises of his beauty, but instead, you stayed silent, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss to his shoulder.Â
He let out a soft sigh before tilting his head down to look at you. âYou sleep okay?â he murmured, as if speaking any louder would shatter the two of you into a million little pieces. Your only response was a nod and a quiet yawn, which prompted a small bubble of laughter to rise from him. âGood,â he cooed, punctuating his statement with a sweet kiss to your forehead, âI slept great. Best sleep Iâve had in a long time.âÂ
âIâm glad,â you whispered as you laid your head against the soft skin of his chest. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you held yourself close to him, not ready to leave the space you had created with him, afraid of what would lie beyond it. His arms wrapped around you, one of his hands combing through your hair and embracing you tightly before pulling back as he began to shift his weight.
âAlright, honey, Iâm gonna get up,â he said with a groan as he sat up. The movement caused the sheets to fall from his torso and gather around his waist, exposing his toned abdomen. You blushed softly at the sight, but your gaze lingered momentarily on his form. He noticed your wandering eyes and cast a playful smirk in your direction.
âSee something you like?â he teased, wiggling his eyebrows and giving a small chuckle as your cheeks became flushed with a deep red hue.Â
âYeah,â you mumbled shyly. You looked up at him with timid eyes while he stood. He raised his arms in a long, drawn-out stretch that made his back arch and pulled a soft groan from his lips. Watching him move so freely about the room, naked and possessed with unashamed openness, filled you with an awareness of the sudden, crushing reality of what had transpired between the two of you. You felt yourself become incredibly conscious of the fact that you were naked, your palms pressing the sheets to your body, hoping to cling to the lingering memories they held. A million thoughts and questions began to race through your mind, drowning you in a sea of vulnerable uncertainty until Joshâs voice pulled you from your spiral.
âYou okay?â he asked, his body still and facing you while his face bore a look of genuine concern.Â
You nodded quickly in response, replying with an unconvincing, âYeah. Yeah, Iâm fine. Just tired, I guess.â You paired your reply with a soft smile in hopes that he would believe you.Â
He looked at you for a long moment before sighing softly and nodding. âAlright. But promise to tell me if somethingâs wrong, okay?â he cooed as he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to your forehead, âI donât want you to regret anything.â The look on his face as he said that last sentence and the mere idea of it was enough to make your heart break.Â
You grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. âI could never regret you, Josh,â you murmured, giving him a look that you hoped conveyed the truth behind your words.Â
He smiled in response and moved his hand from your grip as he began to walk towards his dresser. He pulled clothes out of the drawers and collected them into a neat pile before turning back to you. âIâm gonna go take a shower and get dressed. You wanna come with me?â he asked, his voice attempting an air of playfulness.Â
âYou go ahead,â you replied with a shake of your head, âIâm gonna stay in bed for a bit longer.âÂ
He nodded. âOkay, honey. You rest as long as you need. Iâll be right back,â he reassured as he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.Â
In his absence, you felt the return of that creeping insecurity, slowly but surely filling you to the brim. You felt bare and naked and silly, and you desperately needed to escape to somewhere where you could hide until you felt safe. You climbed out of the bed and threw on your clothes as quickly as possible, fighting against the lingering soreness that only made the hurt more tangible. You felt like a million eyes were on you in the empty room. You pulled the sleeves of your sweater over your hands like it was a shield protecting you from the pervasive shame that was running through your body. You grabbed your purse and keys from the shelf you had left them on last night and sat back on the bed, holding them in your lap as you waited for Josh to reenter the bedroom. You busied yourself by fidgeting with an old, frayed, woven keychain that hung from your keyring. You turned the unraveling threads between your fingers, your mind fading far away.
âLeaving already?â Joshâs voice rang through the room and pulled you from your daze. His voice held a tinge of disappointment that he tried to mask with a joking lilt. It made you feel terrible.Â
You nodded and looked down, mumbling out a clumsy excuse, âUh, yeah, I gotta⊠I gotta go, umâŠ.â But before you could even finish, you felt hot tears roll down your cheeks, and there was nothing you could do to stop them. You buried your face in your hands as sobs rolled through your body.
Josh came to sit beside you, his weight making the mattress give way beneath him. You felt his arms wrap around you softly. âHey,â he whispered, âHey, itâs alright. You wanna tell me whatâs bothering you, honey?â He ran his hands through your hair as he asked the question, grounding you in a way that made you love him and hate yourself for loving him all at the same time. You shook your head in response to him, unable to form anything that even resembled a sentence. âThatâs okay,â he cooed, âCan you just tell me if itâs something I did?â
The question only made you cry harder, feeling like some kind of monster for making him even think that he could do anything to hurt you. A teary ânoâ poured out of you as you gripped his shirt, crumpling the fabric in your hands as you wept into his chest. Finally, as the tears slowly subsided, you let out a loud, wobbly sigh and spoke. âIâm so scared, Josh,â you whimpered as you tilted your head up, meeting his soft gaze.Â
His brow furrowed at your statement. âScared of what?â He ran a hand across your forehead and over your hair, gently smoothing it down.Â
âIâm scared about what we did,â you sighed. He gave you no response, his silence prompting you to elaborate. âI⊠Iâm scared that it doesnât mean to you what it means to me.â You confessed it with a convinced finality like you knew that your fear and your reality were one and the same.Â
Joshâs grip on you tightened, and he fixed you with an unreadably even expression. âWhat does it mean to you?â he asked quietly.Â
Your answer was immediate. âEverything.âÂ
A small hum of acknowledgment left Joshâs lips. âAnd what makes you think that it doesnât mean everything to me?â His question wasnât accusatory or loaded with any kind of animosity. He just wanted to understand.Â
âI donât know,â you said after a long moment of silence, âI just⊠Iâve loved you for so long, Josh. You know I have. I always felt like the idea of having you was too good to be true. So, I guess I thought that after we⊠after what happened, youâd wake up and just realize that it was some big mistake. That you didnât want me anymore.â You looked up at him with a blank, pained expression, hoping that he would say something, anything to prove you wrong.Â
He stayed silent but leaned forward, capturing your lips in a hot, all-consuming kiss. His fingers cupped your jaw, keeping you in place as he molded his lips against your own, his tongue gently slipping into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His affection left you just as breathless as it did the night before, and when he pulled back, your cheeks were flushed a bright pink.Â
âI love you,â he stated, his voice soberingly serious, âYou hear me? Iâm in love with you. Always have been. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever change that. I donât care what weâve done. Youâre not just some cheap thrill to me. What we did⊠the way we made love⊠I did that because I love you. Thereâs no doubt in my mind on that front, alright?âÂ
You nodded enthusiastically at his words, leaning forward and capturing his lips in a searing, desperate kiss. Your fingers carded through his curls, and a soft moan slipped from you. His hands rested on your waist, pulling you flush to him. You allowed each other's hands to travel, leaving sweet, sacred touches along your bodies, finding splendor in the removal of the final barrier between you. You mumble soft âI love youâs between heavy breaths, only stopping when you were both out of air.Â
His forehead rested against your own as his chest rose and fell. âYou ready for round two?â he asked, his lips spreading into his characteristic grin and a soft, silly laugh tumbling from him. You joined him in his laughter and nodded your head. He gave a chaste kiss to your lips. âGood,â he breathed out, pulling you down with him onto the bed where the two of you spent the rest of the day expressing your love both in words spoken and unspoken.
taglist: @westernwoods @sunfl0wer-power @gold-mines-melting @alwaysonthemend @andtherestishistory13 @writingcold @sunandthemoontwinflames (message me or send me an ask if you wanna be added to my taglist!!!)
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White Roses: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction
description: when invited to join josh on tour, you were elated with the idea and accepted almost immediately. although you had always pushed your feelings aside of wanting something more with your best friend, this trip had you believe there was a deeper, underlying reason that you were brought along.
word count: 8.5k+
trope: friends to lovers
taglist for future fics
warnings below cutâŠ
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warnings: fluff, lots of angst, good amount of plot, smut, voyeurism, fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, usage of alcohol
a/n: just a tiny reminder that this takes place during DIG, and in an instance in which none of the shows got cancelled! that's all:)
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Sitting on the tour bus as it drove bumpily along the highway road, you had caught yourself examining the interior of the bus while the boys chatted about nonsense, and wondered how you were even able to get yourself in this position.
You had known Josh since high school, where you two met in drama club and performed a few shows together. You always had high hopes for him, whether it was with him pursing film, or taking the route of performing as the lead singer of Jake's band.
Watching him grow into his own person was entrancing to you. You always had underlying feelings for him that you buried in the back of your mind, as you always had the assumption that he would never reciprocate such feelings. Ever since you had known him, his charisma charmed you, and you found yourself hooked onto him like a fish on a line.
Seeing him truly become his own individual person was remarkable. He had newfound confidence, dazzling the stage and turning on a new persona that was utterly flamboyant. Yet, you always knew of him to be the dorky kid that could light up a room with only a smile.
Frankly, no one was Josh, not even his twin brother. No one compared to him, and thatâs why after all these years you still had feelings for him. After finding yourself in love with your best friend, and not being able to see him as much as you used to, you reminded yourself of things about his face and vernacular that you never wanted erased from your brain. Like the light dimple on his face when he smiled, to the way he used big words that you never quite understood (he was known for being utterly intelligent). How his perfectly sculpted nose crinkled up when he laughed. The gravel in his voice, the way his eyes looked at you tentatively when you spoke. There was so much more you liked to think about pertaining to Josh, but there were no amount of words in the English language to allow you to express such gratitude for him and his presence.
Watching him pack up his things for Nashville and leaving you behind in Michigan was much more detrimental than you could've imagined. You had hoped your feelings for him would subdue overtime, but to no avail. But you know what they say, "distance makes the heart grow fonder".
While you were happy that he was able to travel the world and pursue his dream through music, you longed for his presence again. He would often visit to see his family and some other long-distance friends, but he ended up devoting most of his time to you. You had the usual routine of sitting on top of the hood of his car outside and admire the view of the stars above you in the summertime, but when it was winter, you two would glance up at the night sky from the comfort of your skylight in your home.
When he was back in town right before their âDreams In Goldâ tour was about to begin, lying down next to you on the floor as your guys' eyes were caught in the skylight window, he had asked you to join him on tour for their US leg.
"Are, are you sure, Josh?" You asked him, turning your cheek into the cool floor of your living room. You were lying flat on your back next to Josh when he posed the question.
"Of course, I'm sure. I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't 100% certain." He said to you with a smile. "The guys wouldn't mind it a bit, and it's a free vacation for you as well." His eyes walked back up to the stars that danced above him.
"How much do I have left to give you an answer?" You asked.
"As soon as possible." He shrugged as he kept his eyes on the night sky. "But I hope you'd say yes immediately."
"You're quite persuasive, I must say," you huffed a laugh, which he matched, "but don't get your hopes up. I still have to run it by work." You extended your finger to him.
And as soon as you were able to get the time off of work needed, you packed your bags, and set off on the road with them a bit after their shows in Michigan, which you attended.
Now, here you were, sat in the makeshift living room with the band inside of the tour bus after their previous show, on your way with the band to Omaha, Nebraska. You had been on the road with them for quite a bit of time, following their strict routine every single day. It was a bit hectic at first, but you eventually got into the habit of it all.
You had your fair share of drinks with the guys, chatting about various topics and different things that occurred at the show. They had different conversations about their own performances, along with some things they noticed on stage. You sat there mute, admiring the white roses Josh gave to you after every show, which sat in a small, clear vase in the middle of the table.
"Think you might need a reminder of the words to 'Safari Song', Josh." Jake poked at his brother.
"I can get it perfect during soundcheck, but of course, the words just slip my mind when performing. It's fucking annoying." He threw his hand up, setting it down on the table and drawing circles on the material with his fingers.
You turned your attention to Josh after his voice brought you back into the conversation. "I think you just need to articulate your words a bit more." You said to him.
"Are you saying that you can't understand what I say when I'm singing?" He looked to you with joking frustration.
"Just like most of our fan base." Sam snorted a laugh, which had Danny covering his mouth to hide his amusement.
"You guys are lucky I'm self-aware, or else I would be extremely hurt by the criticism." Josh pointed at each of the boys, and then let his eyes rest on you.
"I'm just surprised you're not sweating more in those jumpsuits with all of that pyro." You said to him.
"That's why I have detachable sleeves, my dear." He winked at you as he bumped his elbow into your arm.
"I'm surprised my hair hasn't caught on fire yet. Sometimes that shit seems a bit closer than you think." Danny said with a toss of his hair. He took another sip of his beer, looking towards Sam.
"Let's just hope there aren't any pyro accidents in the near future, or those luscious locks will be stripped from you." Sam chimed in, tugging on Danny's mane and eliciting a laugh from him.
The conversation grew into other sorts of different topics other than their performances, such as the new places they were bound to perform at, and even setting a few bets of what they predict the next shows would be like. You had thrown in a few laughs at different jokes, nodding along to the conversations, but your mind was somewhere else. Your mind was on the mere heat produced by Josh's body, which you could just barely feel with him sitting next to you.
The side of Josh's thigh, clothed by a pair of brown joggers was pressed against your own, with his hand just inches from your fingertips. He wasnât out of reach, but you felt like he was. You had missed the proximity between the two of you, but sometimes, it had become a bit unbearable. Your lingering feelings had yet to float away from your mind, and although you had desperately tried to remind yourself that there was no way that a relationship with him was realistic, you held onto the hope of possibility.
With a loud, abrupt noise onto the table of Sam slamming his hand onto it to announce his departure off to his bunk, Danny followed closely behind to get some rest for the night.
"Has sleeping on the couch been comfortable for you?" Jake asked you, as the bus grew quieter while Sam and Danny settled in for the night.
"It's not too bad," you started, "it's actually more comfortable than you'd think. You should try it out sometime." You jokingly offered.
"Think I'll stick with my bed, thank you very much." He gave you a light smile.
"You know you can always join me, right?" Josh said to you in a whisper, yet loud enough for Jake to hear. "I don't mind at all, really." His eyes held your own in such a captivating way, with the light dimly showcasing the different hues of brown in his eyes.
"I don't want to be a bother. Besides, the couch does the trick." You gave him a small smile.
You had slept next to Josh on a multitude of occasions, but never curled up next to him in a bed. It was always falling asleep on one's shoulder after a late-night movie, with his arm draped over the back of the couch, and his hand finding its way into the back of your head to tussle your hair.
"Well, I think it's time for me to head to bed then. Got to get my beauty rest in." Josh said, squeezing you into the side of his body, then watching as Jake stood to allow him to get off from the couch and go into the quarters where the bunks resided.
Jake scooted in next to you, with his eyes wandering off to where Josh left, then looking to you with a light smile.
"You really did enjoy the show?" He asked you in a whisper.
"Yes, I always do. You guys are always amazing up there." You gave him a smile.
He matched your smile, nodding at you and looking over his shoulder before turning back to you.
You and Jake grew a good friendship, that was reminiscent to a brotherly love. Since you were often with his twin, you were bound to grow a relationship with him, and you never minded it. He was someone you considered, other than Josh, to be a close friend.
"Liking the tour so far? Not too hectic for you?" He said to you with his hands folded onto the table.
"It was a bit crazy at first, but I think I'm getting into the swing of things. Don't know how you guys keep up with this kind of shit, anyways." You giggled.
"I think we're just kind of used to it, now," he shrugged, "but it's nice to have company along the road. Thanks for coming with us, by the way." He elbowed you.
"I was a bit worried I would get in the way of things when Josh asked me to join, but-."
"I promise you you're not in the way at all," he cut you off quickly in reassurance, "it's nice to have you around - we all feel that way."
You gave him a light smile in appreciation, finding yourself fiddling with your thumbs and keeping your eyes locked on the movements.
"What are you thinking about?" He bumped his elbow into you, scooting closer to you and waiting for your eyes to flick to his.
"Deciding whether I'm tired or not." You said, which was an obvious lie. Jake could read you easily, and you knew that. But you had hopes that he wouldn't be able to decipher your false truth.
Your expectation of him not to push you further was shut down when he lightly scoffed. "Thinking about Josh, huh?"
Jake was well aware of your crush for his twin. You had accidentally told him after one too many drinks a few years ago when you were at a party in their childhood home, when you sat outside with Jake as Josh left to grab more drinks for the three of you. You were grateful Jake had yet to say anything to his brother.
"How'd you guess?" You sighed, finally choosing to look at him with a tired expression.
He lightly chuckled at your faux annoyance. "Why haven't you said anything to him yet?"
"Why do you think?" You scoffed at him. "We've always just been friends, Jake. He's too busy for a fucking relationship anyways, and I'd prefer to choose safety than an awkward rejection."
"I guess I'm a bystander in all of this, but you don't really realize the way someone looks at you when it's directed, well, at you." He began. "The whole 'just friends' thing is bullshit, in my opinion. I've always kind of thought things would work out with you two in the end." He gave you a light shrug.
"He's never hinted at anything more with me. I mean, God, I remember when we spent one last night together before you guys moved to Nashville. If something was supposed to happen between us, it would've happened then."
"What happened that night anyways? You guys kind of disappeared from the party, and Josh never really went into depth of what happened."
"Well," you flattened your hands on the table as you drummed the surface, "I told him that it was getting late and that it was best if I should head home, as I didn't see a point in me staying over at your guys' home because it would hurt more to watch you guys leave. But I guess knowing was much harder to accept then actually seeing it."
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"Wait, you're leaving?" Josh said, grabbing your arm as you grabbed onto your purse.
"It's late, and I should let you guys get your sleep because I know you have an early flight." You said with a light frown.
Josh's eyes fell, with his lips turning into a pout and glancing around the room at the slowly dying party.
"Can you stay for a few more minutes, with me?" He asked quietly, visibly showing how hurt he was by your departure. "Please?"
You looked at the clock, noticing it was nearing midnight. You didn't want to leave him like this, preferring a private goodbye with him instead of this being the final moment that you'd see him before he made his journey.
"Okay." You said with a nod, a light sigh lingering out of your mouth.
He gave you a wide smile, tugging on your arm and having you drag your feet quickly along with his quick movements out the front door.
"Josh-."
"Sit on the hood of my car." He motioned to his Jeep, watching as you stood idle. "Go on. That way, when you're ready to leave, you're already right next to your car."
Your car was parked outside of their home on the street, begging to stay there for as long as possible and never let Josh out of your sight.
You thought the sentiment was nice, so you hopped on top of it, and allowed him to sit himself next to you. You set your purse next to you and watched as he joined you on your other side. He immediately wrapped his arm around your back, tugging you into him and allowing your faces to be mere inches apart.
"I'm going to miss this, you know," he looked to you, "well, I'm going to miss doing all of this shit with you."
You nodded, feeling a knot tightening in your throat and finding words harder to utter than before.
"Why don't you just move to Nash with us and make this a bit easier on me?" He chuckled. You forced a light laugh out, masking your breaking heart that was crumbling to pieces as you spent your last moments with him.
"You know I can't do that," you looked to him, "as much as I'd like to, you guys have to do this on your own. You can't just have me around forever. I'll be fine here, I promise. As long as you come to visit every once in a while."
"It's not like we won't talk all the time either," he smiled at you, "I mean, we do it enough as is. I donât plan on just leaving Michigan behind forever. Iâll come see you as much as I can, I promise."
Your cheeks began to burn, with your vision beginning to blur as tears formed in the waterline of your eyes. You didn't want Josh to see you cry, although he had plenty of times, but this was the one time in which it was because of him. You were upset because he was leaving you behind, by choice, although you knew it was the best for him. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, tell him that he canât leave without knowing how you felt. But that would only make things worse on the both of you, and it didnât feel right to speak up about your feelings for him now.
"Hey, hey," he brought his hand to your cheek, "don't cry. That's going to make me cry." He forced a laugh, but his lips faltered into a pout.
Your lips trembled as you tried to swallow your tears down and force a smile, to try and stay strong for your best friend. But you couldn't find it in yourself to do it.
"Fuck, Josh," you laughed, your voice whaling out into a whine, "I'm going to miss you like crazy."
Josh swiped a fallen tear off of your cheek with his thumb, giving you a nod as his face grew into a sympathetic look.
"This is just as hard for me as it is for you - trust me," he said gently, "but I'm going to miss you a lot, too. I meant it when I said Iâd come back and see you when I can and talk to you every day. This isn't goodbye forever, y/n. This is a 'see you later', okay?"
You nodded at him, burrowing your face into his shoulder and allowing yourself to cry. To release all of your broken emotions onto him as he held you in his arms. You didn't care that this would be how he left you, because frankly, you couldn't fight it back. You began to hiccup into the sleeve of his shirt, and while he tried to console you by rubbing your back and humming a low tune, it only made your heart ache more. You didn't know when you'd see him again, or better yet, how long you'd have to wait for that time to arise.
"I can assure you that I won't forget about you." He pressed his chin into the top of your head.
That had you laughing through your tears. "I know that."
"Just wanted to make sure," he said with a smile, which you heard in his voice, "and maybe when we're settled into our homes in Nashville, you can fly down to see us. All of us enjoy your company."
You sniffled, running the back of your hand under your nose and lifting your head from his shoulder and trying to remember every detail in his face that your brain would allow you to obtain. Because through a Facetime call, you wouldn't be able to see every minute detail of his face. The curve of his jawline and nose, to the light freckles that lined his nose just barely when it became summertime.
"I'd love that." You gave him a light smile, continuing to try and push through your grief.
"It kills me to see you cry," he said, placing his hand on your face to allow any falling tears to soak into his skin, "it's taking everything in me not to cry. But it helps to know that this won't be the last time I see you. You have to remember that, too, okay?" He said with a light jerk of your face.
Your eyes glanced at his plush lips, noticing they rested parted as he finished talking to you. You met his eyes, noticing a light glisten in them of faint tears beginning to form. You had never seen him cry, and you definitely did not want to see it now; not with the state you were currently in.
"Yeah, we'll see each other again." You nodded, placing your hand around his wrist and forcing a smile onto your face, although your cheeks battled the expression.
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"Jeez," Jake hissed, "that must've been really hard to go through."
"Believe me, it was." You shook your head at him. "I think I cried myself to sleep for a week or two. Just kind of felt...empty, without him. Is that bad?"
Jake placed his hand on top of your fiddling ones, to stop your motions and keep your attention onto him.
"Not at all, y/n. I mean, it's hard watching someone you care about move away, and having unresolved feelings behind it, too. But, if I were you, I wouldn't waste another moment telling him how you felt." He said to you.
You nodded at him, noticing he had kept his hand on top of yours and seeing that his eyes rested upon you.
"Wait, you mean now?" You whispered harshly with wide eyes.
"Why wait? Itâs been long enough, anyways. I'm sure he's just getting settled into bed. The other guys are most likely dead asleep, and I know for a fact as soon as I hit my bed, I'll be out like a light." He said with a huffed laugh, which you matched. "You'll get some privacy, don't worry."
He removed his hand from on top of yours, picking up the scattered beer cans and bottles and discarding them. He looked to you, waiting for you to stand, and follow through with his advice.
You stood with shaky hands, sweat accumulating on your palms and wiping them onto your grey shorts.
"You'll be okay, I promise." He placed his hand on your shoulder and allowing his hand to drop at his side.
"Thank you for talking with me about this, Jake." You gave him a small, tight-lipped smile, and brought him into a short embrace. He squeezed you into his body, then watched as you made your way to the bunks.
You knew Josh's was the one on the bottom right, with Jake's on top of his. Your hands trembled as you grabbed at the curtain, your blood pumping fear throughout your body from the anticipation of the situation. You tugged at your bottom lip and just barely parted the curtain, whispering Josh's name and waiting for a response. When he didn't stir, you finally opened it fully, to see his bare back turned to you. The sounds of the rings that held the white fabric onto the rod had you cower away from the noise, but you kept your eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of Josh's shoulders that signified his slumber.
You began to tug the curtain close, but something deep down told you that you shouldn't put this off any longer. That you should follow through with this and put your anxious feelings aside of confronting him about your feelings.
"Josh?" You whispered out again.
This time, he let out a quiet groan, turning his body over and facing you with squinted eyes. The bus was almost pitch-black, with dim lights illuminating the floor for safety purposes.
"Y/n? Everything okay?" He asked you with a groggy voice.
"I can't sleep," you lied, "mind if I join you?"
"Not at all." He said with a smile, opening the blanket up for you as an invitation. He appeared to be in his briefs, and although you had seen him in his underwear before, something about the sight in this moment had you growing a lump in your throat.
You crawled in next to him under the sheets, and although it was a bit cramped, you didn't mind it at all. You liked that you were forced to be pressed up against Josh, despite it not helping your nervousness about the situation.
You started with lying flat on your back, but Josh tucked his arm under your body, and turned you to face him with his head resting just above your own.
"So, the couch isn't as comfortable as you made it out to be, huh?" He whispered to you with a coy grin.
"Maybe I twisted the truth a bit, but I'm usually fine sleeping on it." You said back to him.
He hummed in response. "Well, I don't mind this new arrangement."
While he had one hand tucked under your side and placed on the middle of your back, the other rested at your waist. Your heart was nearly leaping out of your chest with its rapid pace, and you began to form different sentences in your head to try and keep the conversation going and lead it into the real reason why you were sleeping next to him this night.
"Thank you," you whispered to him, "for bringing me along on, and all the roses you've given me after each show. It really means a lot to me."
He scooted himself down a bit to meet your face, looking at you with half-lidded eyes and a sleepy grin. "Of course. I'm glad you decided to come with. The roses are just a gift of my gratitude for you." He said to you.
He always knew the right words to say to you. Your heart tugged at his own, begging for him to just kiss you. You had all this pent-up fear inside of your body, and the proximity between you two didn't help contain your nervousness.
"I've missed spending time with you, you know. This whole tour thing kind of helps make up for missed time." You continued to beat around the bush.
"I've missed you, too - believe me," he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "I'm just glad that you're here with me, y/n."
"I am, too." You said to him.
And once the conversation died down, Josh had told you, "Goodnight, sleep well," and shut his eyes to fall into his slumber. You watched as his eyes twitched lightly to rest, lightly tugging you closer to him as he tried to sleep.
You just watched him for a few moments, admiring his perfect features, and guiltily letting your eyes fall to his plush lips. Figuring that he was too tired to have a conversation with you, your body turned itself over, away from him.
You allowed him to spoon you, and due to the space being beyond cramped, he was willingly forced to be pressed into you. You could feel the softness of him through his briefs into your ass, and your body was nearly set on fire at the feeling. His arm that was draped over your side and rested near your stomach tightened you towards his body, and now you were done for. He seemed to have no issue with the closeness, and that had your heart ringing in your ears.
You could feel him, and it was almost too much for you. You had never slept in this position with Josh before, let alone with the lack of clothing by him. You weren't uncomfortable by this, but you knew you'd wake up in a sweat if you didn't just ask him the question that's been plaguing your mind and get you out of this position briefly.
"Why'd you ask me to come on tour with you?" You whispered out to him in a breath.
It took him a few moments to respond. "What do you mean?"
You turned over, meeting his face a bit closer than you had expected. His hand had rested at your waist now, lightly lying there as if it was normal for it to be resting there. At first, you stuttered from how close his lips were to brushing yours, but you cleared your throat, and tried your best to formulate a sentence.
"I'm just a bit confused on why you ask me now to come, when you could've asked me years ago to join you guys. I don't mind it all, but it was just a bit sudden, you know?"
He released a light sigh, averting his eyes from you for a second as he looked down, then flicking them back to you. He swallowed - hard, and you noticed that his touch had lightened on you.
"I enjoy your company, y/n." He shrugged to you.
You knew this game he was playing it. It was the same one you had been a master at all of these years: beating around the bush and running around the truth.
"That's not the whole truth and you know that." You said to him as you grew lightly agitated. Just spit it out, Josh.
"There's no amount of time that's just enough to spend with you," he began, "and frankly, I wanted to have you pack your shit and move to Nashville with me." He said with a hushed laugh, which you matched. "Distance is hard, tougher than I expected. I don't want to leave you again without you knowing that I've been in love you with all these years. I brought you on tour as a sort of stupid test, to see if you could handle the kind of life I live. And since you've been handling all this shit well, I know that we could make things work if we tried."
Your eyes were wide, your heart inside of your throat as you listened to him speak. He had been in love with you for as long as you have had the same feelings for him, and it was such a relief to hear him say the words you longed to hear. You were left a bit speechless, but your mind was certain that you wanted to close the gap between yours and Josh's lips and kiss him into oblivion.
"I never knew how to tell you, and I didn't expect me to share my feelings with you in a bed on a tour bus," he chuckled once more, "but it just feels right. Doesn't it for you?"
You nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes it does, Josh." You sounded a bit desperate with your words, but you didn't care. You had to make sure he knew you felt the same way. So, you continued. "I have had feelings for you the moment we met. I just figured none of this could work out with the kind of life you live, compared to mine. But I want to try, I really do."
"Okay," he said with a smile, "so then let's start now."
He placed his hand on your face, guiding you to his lips and pressing a tender kiss upon you. You took in a sharp inhale as the taste of his minty breath hit your tastebuds, and his lips began to move with yours in a fluid motion. You had yearned for the taste of his mouth, and now it had become an addictive drug to you. The pulse of your heart was set ablaze, and it felt as though it was about to explode out of your chest. You even let your eyes open just a bit to see that it was Josh who you were kissing, and not anyone else. To be reminded that his lips were upon your own, and that this wasn't just a dream.
His insistent mouth parted against yours, sliding his tongue along yours and tasting at your mouth. Your senses were sent into overdrive, and you felt like you were melting into him. You had a hand on his face, then bringing it to the back of his head to tug at his hair, to keep him locked on your lips as a plea to never stop.
His lips were softer than a feather, and he kissed ever so perfectly. All of this felt right; to kiss Josh and be in this moment with him. When you felt his hand move to your waist and tug you closer to his body, and the kiss growing harsher, you knew what you were in for. You were nervous that the sounds of your lips smacking into one another were echoing off the walls, but you were too addicted to the way his mouth tasted of mint to let that fear ruin this for you.
He snaked his hand between your bodies and allowed it to roam under your shirt. You threw your leg over his own and allowing him to move in closer to your body, to tell him silently that you wanted him to continue, and never falter the motions of his mouth on yours.
His hand massaged your breast, toying with your nipple, and you released a light whimper against his lips. He smiled into your mouth, squeezing lightly at the bud just to test his limits. You were practically moaning as quietly as you could into his mouth, but he wasn't denying you of it.
His lips trailed to the nape of your neck, and you pushed your hair off your shoulder and craned the body part to allow him easier access to the skin. He was tender with the nibbles he cursed upon your skin, sucking agonizingly slow and reaching your collarbone. He dragged his tongue along your pulse point to your jaw and turned your face into his to allow his lips back onto yours.
You felt the pads of his fingers slowly moving their way down your stomach, and the hand that once occupied your back had moved to the side of your face that was pressed against the pillow. The leg you had hooked over his was beginning to slowly spread more for him, while you adjusted your other leg to be in a better position for his hands.
As soon as he made contact with your clit, rubbing torturously slow circles on the sensitive bud, you released a light gasp and breaking the kiss. He chuckled lightly at your reaction, pecking your lips and tuning into your heavy breathing.
"You're going to have to be a bit quieter than that if we're going to do this here, mama." He said into your lips, then resting his forehead against your own.
You nodded against his head, pressing your lips together tightly and exhaling the lightest sound of a whimper. You had your teeth digging into your bottom lip, piercing at the skin and hoping to God that you wouldn't make another loud sound.
"This okay?" He asked, although he already has his hand on you. It was as if he was posing the question just to hear your gratitude for his touch.
"Yes, more than okay." You nodded vigorously, with your voice low to a whisper. "Feels so good."
His fingers slipped inside of you, and your mouth dropped open as your eyes rolled into the back of your head with euphoria. You could feel his length twitching against your stomach, and with the way his fingers were pumping into you and curling effortlessly, you were unsure how quiet you could be.
"Josh." You whimpered as his fingers found that singular sweet spot inside of you.
He stopped his motions almost immediately and pressed his pointer finger onto your lips. He captivated your attention with his eyes as he dragged his finger down your lips and causing your bottom one to recoil back to its original position.
He scooted closer to you, propping himself on his free arm and leaning into your ear. You were now on your back, and he continued the slow pumping motions of his fingers.
"Need help keeping quiet, mama?" He said to you with a lustful, deep voice. You nodded at him, waiting for him to finally look back to you.
He placed his hand flatly on your mouth to muffle your cries of ecstasy, testing your limits by speeding the pace of his fingers inside of you. You let your moans rumble against his palm, and to your ears, it was quiet enough. You looked to him with eyes of adoration, while his jaw was hung open as he kept his focus on watching his fingers move through your shorts.
"Should probably take these off." He offered to you by leaning into your ear as his fingers faltered into a steady, slower pace. You quickly obliged, struggling to throw your shorts and panties off of your body as he kept his fingers inside of you. Despite the awkward position, you were able to kick them both off of your ankles to rest at the end of the bed.
"Better?" He asked you, and you nodded against your hand. "Wanna try keeping quiet again, mama?" You grabbed his wrist and removed his hand slowly with a smile plastered on your face, which he matched, and pressed a feathery-light kiss onto your lips.
He watched his fingers disappear and reappear inside of you, entranced by the sight that he was touching and pleasuring you. The blanket had fallen just enough to allow the view to be put on full display, and curse anyone who would try and pull the curtain on the bunk to witness the sight. You had glanced down at the motions, letting your hand fall onto his bicep and digging your nails into the skin. You had found a way to keep your moans of pleasure down to a minimum, by tugging onto your bottom lip hard enough until it nearly hurt.
He slid his fingers from inside of you, taking them to his lips and shoving them into his mouth. He hummed delightfully and came to your lips again. He liked to speak to you that close, as it was teasing a kiss, yet denying you of it, although he wanted to.
"I'll get a better taste of you when we're not in this position." He said, to which you huffed a laugh and reached to peck at his lips. He in turn placed a kiss on your begging lips and looked down at you with a devilish grin.
He began tugging off his briefs while you tugged your shirt over your head and threw it to the end of the bed, capturing his lips by placing your hands on his cheeks. He crawled over you, motioning for you to lay on your back, and he had bumped his head on top of the bunk.
"Fuck," he chuckled, rubbing the top of his head.
"You okay?" You giggled at him, seeing him hunched over you in between your propped up legs.
"Yeah, I'll be okay. Minor bruising, I'm sure." He shrugged, placing a peck on your lips.
The curtain rings that hung onto the rod and encapsulated the sight of you two naked lightly rung with his extra movements, and he silently cursed at the sound, and watched his motions more carefully to decrease the noise.
You watched as he pursed his lips into the palm of his hand and allowed spit to dribble from his mouth and began pumping his length. Your eyes fell to his manhood, widening them at the sight of him. His tip leaked with pearl-white precum, visible enough to you when you squinted. His pink tip teased at your folds, sliding through them before he made contact with your entrance. His hands were propped on either side of your head, leaning into your body and closing the proximity with you as he slid into you.
His head fell onto the side of the pillow as he fully bottomed out, groaning into your ear a slur of a curse. You grabbed at the back of his head and tugged at his hair, mouth opening with a choked gasp. You remembered to keep yourself quiet to the best of your ability, but as he began to start a steady pace inside of you, you had to go back to pressing your mouth tightly shut.
"Fuck, mama," he said with a guttural groan, "think I'm going to have problems keeping quiet with how good you fucking feel."
You tilted your chin up as your eyes closed shut, feeling him with every fiber of your being sliding in and out of you. You clenched around his length, hearing the lightest of whimpers escape his mouth, and kept at your motions. You dug your fingernails into his toned back and allowed them to imprint themselves onto the skin.
"That feel good, Josh?" You lightly teased at him by leaning into his ear and pressing a kiss on the shell of it.
"Yes, just keep fucking doing that - please." He hissed through his gritted teeth.
The only thing you could say was his name, with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes in pleasure. It was exceedingly difficult to keep your moans to a minimum with the way Josh thrusted into you, and you were sure the entire band had heard their fair share of Josh's name by now.
He rocked his hips into you at a faster pace, chasing for his high, and hoping that you were finding yours. You had felt sweat accumulating on your hairline, and you were unsure if it was because of Josh's body heat radiating against you, or because of your intense attention to keeping quiet.
His head moved to be in front of you, and you saw that his jaw had hung open, with his eyes switching between staying shut and staying open halfway. He was so undeniably desirable in this moment, and you swore you've seen him look like this before when performing on stage. But this was because you were making him feel good, and no one else.
"I've wanted this for so long, Josh." You whispered to him through a whimper.
"So have I, mama," he pressed an open-mouthed kiss onto your lips, "been thinking about it for forever. Not letting you go again."
It was a relief to hear him say such a thing, as it made your feelings about him justified. Not only with him being inside of you, but with the fact that he continuously graced your ears with praises and words of affirmation.
You repeated the words in your head: "Not letting you go again." You couldn't comprehend in what way he meant that, but you could only assume that after this, you weren't going back to being friends. There was no way in hell you could forget how he felt inside of you, how he caressed your body, and how sweet he sounded saying your name.
You could feel his thrusts growing sloppy and desperately trying to keep the swift rhythm he had previously set. You forced your legs to wrap around his torso, although the nearly fallen blanket had battled that motion. With him brought in at a new angle, he had his forehead rested onto yours, thrusting himself deeper into you.
He snaked one of his hands through your connected bodies and found your clit, rubbing vigorously to try and meet him at his release. His face was full of anguish as he tried to hold himself back, wanting to savor this moment forever with you. But it was becoming increasingly hard, and he wanted you to reach your high with him.
Your eyebrows were tightly furrowed as your eyes softened, mouth hung without releasing a sound. Yet, you warned him of your release as you felt the pleasure was about to consume your entire body.
"Josh, Josh I'm so close. Just like that," you urged him to continue his circles on your clit, "don't fucking stop." You said in between breaths.
"I'm gonna cum, fuck." He said with his teeth clattered together, forehead digging into yours as his mouth hung open and released the softest of grunts that echoed off your lips. "Come on, mama, cum with me - please."
His words swirled in your head, and the appraisal was nearly too much for you. You were so close to ascending over the edge, with the way he was pumping himself into you, and the harsh circles on your clit. You swore you were piercing his skin too deeply, but you felt as though grasping onto him in such a manner was helping muffling your moans.
Your back arched with your head digging into the pillow beneath you, eyes shutting tightly as your orgasm overtook your body. Your legs shook around Josh's waist in an uncontrollable spasm as you came, surprisingly keeping yourself quiet through it all. You felt Josh twitch inside of you, his thrusts into you staggering as his own release consumed him. He was groaning deeply into your ear, louder than you figured he would, and your eyes widened at the abrupt noise he produced. Although he was stilled inside of you for a moment, he gave himself a few more pumps to fully drain his release and slowing his motions on your clit.
Your chest heaved against his that seemed to match your unsteady breathing, allowing his forehead to connect onto yours and press a harsh kiss on your lips. He removed his fingers from your sensitive bud, resting his hand onto your cheek as his mouth curled into a devilish grin. You brought your hands to his face to remove your death grip on his back, and hopefully alleviate any pain had caused him.
"Sorry if I was gripping too hard on your back." You apologized to him, hoping that no blood was drawn from the imprints of your nails.
"Don't apologize. I liked it, anyways." He pecked your lips. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," you said with a vigorous nod, "you?"
"Fantastic. Didn't think our first time would be on a fucking bus." He chuckled, causing you to giggle.
"Nor did I." An unamused voice from above said.
Josh turned his head up to the top of the bunk with wide eyes, whereas shock ran through your entire system. You had slapped a hand over your mouth, looking to Josh with terror. He only looked at you with an astonished, open-mouthed smile, looking back up to the top of the bunk and shaking his head.
"Sorry, Jake." He said lightly.
"I think we all deserve an apology, Josh." Sam said, and that had you throwing your hands in the air before covering your face in sheer embarrassment.
"Is Danny awake, too?" Josh asked.
There was silence for a moment.
"Unfortunately." He squeaked.
The three men chuckled, and Josh slipped from you and found your shorts and underwear for you. As you slipped them on, you scanned the dark area for your shirt, finding it at the edge of the bed, and snatching it to throw over your body.
"Well, then I apologize to everyone who endured any part of that." Josh rolled his eyes as he threw his hand into the air.
"Couldn't have just waited like a normal person for everyone to be off of the bus, or better yet, when we were stopped at a hotel for the night?" Sam said in an aggravated tone.
"In our defense, I thought we were being quiet." Josh said to them.
"That's what you consider quiet? God, Josh, I didn't need to know you call a woman 'mama' when you fuck her." Sam said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "You guys done now or what?"
"Yes, yes we're done! Could've just fucking plugged your ears if you didn't want to hear any of it." Josh rolled his eyes as he slipped his briefs onto his body to the best of his ability.
You were curled up in a ball, with your back turned to the curtain, entire body burning up with utter embarrassment. Josh tucked himself into the blankets and pulled you into his body, moving the strands of hair that rested on your cheek behind your ear in hopes of consoling you.
The conversation of your sexual encounter with Josh seemed to die down, so you finally felt comforted enough to rest your eyes.
Until...
"Josh, just like that!" Sam mocked you, causing the entire bus to abrupt in laughter.
You shook your head and buried your face into the crook of Josh's neck, clinging onto him helplessly.
"Alright Sam, you want me to bring up that time Danny and I walked in on you in your dressing room with your girlfriend?" Josh began to grow agitated with the immature teasing of his younger brother.
"I don't think we need to talk about that." Sam said.
"Glad I didn't have to burn that image from my mind." Jake chuckled.
"Aw man, I just forgot about that!" Danny groaned, which had Josh chuckling lightly.
"Wait, what happened?" You mouthed to Josh.
"I'll tell you the gruesome details another time." He mouthed back, pressing a kiss onto your head.
"So, y/n, I guess you told Josh how you felt then, huh?" Jake said.
"What do you think?" You rolled your eyes with a sigh.
"She speaks!" Jake gasped, causing Danny and Sam to chuckle at his snide comment. Your face was entirely red, fuming with utter mortification that they heard everything that happened between you and Josh, which was supposed to be a private, intimate moment.
"Alright, enough talking about it now. I'm fucking exhausted." Josh tried to shush them.
"Oh, I'm sure you are, Josh. How do you think we feel?" Danny said, pushing the conversation just a tad further.
"I know where you sleep, you know! Go the fuck to bed, shitheads." Josh said with a light chuckle. That had seemed to shut the band up and allow you a bit of peace before the morning came.
He tilted his chin down and looked to you. "Are you okay?" He said merely below a whisper.
You nodded at him. "I will be." He pecked your lips after your response, grateful that you weren't as upset as you appeared to be.
A grin curled his lips, and you had light confusion plastered on your face. "What?" You asked him.
"How long have you wanted to tell me how you felt? Seems as though Jake knew all along." He said to you.
"Well, I've always wanted to say something, but there's just always been those doubts about how you felt, and also never the right timing. I knew if I waited longer to speak up, I wouldn't have said anything to you, and I would've had to watch you leave again. Jake and I had a talk about it before this happened." You told him.
"I'm glad he convinced you to say something. I've been a bit nervous myself telling you, but something told me that I shouldn't be, and that it was the right time to finally fess up." He said to you.
You pressed a kiss onto his lips, soft and sweet, and pulled away from his lips with a smile plastered on your face. You couldn't stop smiling, as there was no reason not to. You had waited so long for Josh to finally secure his feelings for you, and now that you had it, you felt grateful for the way things had turned out.
"Probably best if we don't have any more bus sex." He chuckled, to which you matched.
"Private settings from now on." You said to him with a stern glare. "This is never happening again."
"Oh, I promise you my dear, that wherever we have sex at again, you'll be able to show me how loud you truly can be."
â± ââââ.â
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taglist: @ageofhearingloss @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @tripthelightfatality @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @bluee07 @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @gretasfallingsky @dont-go-home-without-me @beckahvanfleet @threadthatssacred @indigofallingsky @bowievanfleet @sam-i-am-20 @laneygvf @malany-gvf @timid-little-fox @josh-iamyour-mama @starshine-wagner @lyndz2names @jjwasneverhere @iffypanic @mulberrimouse
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having chronic migraines and being a sam girl - this one hit home.
i'll be your medicine || sam kiszka x reader
Read on AO3Â |Â Masterlist
Summary: They say laughter is the best medicine, but you're pretty sure that's only because they haven't met Sam. | Standalone in the Sunshine Daydream universe
Pairings:Â Sam x Reader |Â Genre:Â fluff, sickfic (migraine), hurt/comfort |Â Word Count:Â 3k |Â Warnings: none! | Title song: âDeep Endâ by Holly Humberstone
A/N: My very first standalone fic for Sam and Birdie! This fic is a special gift to all the Sunshine Daydream besties. I hope you like it! âĄ
âYeah, man, I donât know. I think if we add any more freakinâ reverb we might as well trash it.â
You winced a little as you listened to Sam talking on the phone, feeling from the tone of his voice that he must not be in a great mood. You couldnât exactly tell â heâd been talking to Jake as he came in the door, and they had been talking steadily as Sam started up the handful of household chores he liked to knock out before he settled in for the evening. He was unloading the dishwasher right now, and he seemed to be very impassioned about whatever song they were talking about.
âThatâs not going to fix the problem, though,â he said firmly. âThe whole tone of the song is riding on that.â
You still couldnât tell if he was arguing with Jake or just having an overzealous discussion. You didnât like not knowing; it had always made you uneasy to not be able to read someoneâs mood, and that was especially true with Sam. He knew that about you and was usually very good about being straightforward if he was upset, but heâd barely said a word to you since coming home half an hour ago.
As worrying as that was, though, you had more pressing things to worry about. The familiar ache of a budding migraine was becoming less and less easy to ignore, and you felt yourself flinch when the plates Sam put away clattered against each other.
You curled in on yourself on the couch, praying the medicine would kick in before it got too bad. The last thing you wanted was a full-blown migraine with a grouchy boyfriend, if thatâs indeed what he was, and youâd rather just take care of it by yourself if you could. Unfortunately, you were beginning to think youâd taken the medicine too late to head it off at the pass. Rosie was curled up next to you, and you tried to relax against her solid warmth and manifest a beautiful migraine-free evening with the power of positive thinking.
It took about five minutes before you gave up that dream. You could feel the pain starting to spread, settling in deep where it usually hit behind your eyes and over the crown of your head. You wanted to ask Sam to get you an ice pack, but you didnât want make him more annoyed than he already was, and you didnât feel like you could raise your voice enough to interrupt his phone call anyway.
âRosie, come get your dinner.â
His voice carried from the kitchen, and you guessed youâd missed him getting off the phone with Jake. You werenât surprised; it was getting to the point where a bomb could go off and youâd be too distracted with pain to worry about it.
Still, you tried to stay tuned in to Sam; youâd missed him, and you were looking forward to spending time with him now that he was home and off the phone. He called for Rose again, but she didnât move from her spot beside you. With effort, you sat up and tried to nudge her to go into the kitchen.Â
She looked up at you and cocked her head, and you knew she wouldnât get up unless you did. She always knew when you werenât feeling well, and she liked to stay close and keep an eye on you when you were sick or unhappy.
You sighed. You didnât want her to feel torn between you and Sam, but you also didnât have the energy to try and redirect your sweet, protective, somewhat stubborn dog.Â
âCome on, Rosie,â you said quietly. âDaddyâs calling you.â
You only managed to get her to hop off the couch, and she looked up at you as she sat at your feet. You thought you heard Sam again, but all of a sudden, you couldnât think about anything but the pain you were in; you sat on the edge of the couch and rested your head against Rose, burying your face in her soft fur, trying to ride the wave of dizziness and pain without bursting into tears.
You felt Rosieâs tail thump against your foot, and you guessed that was in response to Sam coming in from the kitchen.
âRose,â he said, a touch of exasperation in his voice. âCome on, now. I know you want to be with mama, but itâs time to eat.â
She still didnât move. You felt the tension in her even as she kept perfectly still for you, and Sam came over to see what the holdup was.
âWhatâs going on with my girls?â he said, hunkering down be the couch so he was at Rosieâs level. âYou two just canât be separated for even a minute, huh?â
Sam put his hand on your knee, and Rose gave a tentative kiss to the back of his hand.
âCome on, birdie,â he said to you. âYou know she wonât go anywhere if she thinks you want her to stay.â
You nodded. You did want her to stay, but you didnât want to annoy Sam.
âSorry,â you said, lifting your head. You stroked Roseâs ear. âGo on with daddy.â
She gave the quietest bark youâd ever heard in protest.
âRosebud, you are being downright contrary,â Sam said, giving her a playfully vigorous few pets. âYou just donât listen to anybody now, is that it?â
He looked up at you with a smile that was reassuring to see. âHas she been like this all day?â
Before you could answer, his expression clouded with alarm.Â
âAre you crying?â he asked.
You touched a hand to your cheek and felt a few tears. You hadnât even noticed them.
âOh, uh... I guess,â you said weakly. âSorry.â
âWhat do you mean, sorry?â he said, his voice tight with dismay. âBirdie, honey, whatâs wong?â
âUm...â The brave face youâd tried to put on had started to crumble, and even if he was in a bad mood, you needed his help.Â
âMigraine,â you said in a small voice. âItâs really bad.â
He took a sharp breath. âOkay, baby.â He kept his voice calm for you. âHave you taken any medicine?â
You nodded. âItâs not â â Your voice caught. âNot really helping.â
âIt will in a little bit,â he assured you. âWe just have to give it some time to work. Let me go get you an ice pack, okay?â
He left Rosie with you and went back to the kitchen, and you heard him rummaging around for a few moments before he returned.
âDrink some water,â he said, handing you his water bottle. He turned the lights off in the living room, leaving only the light from the kitchen, and knelt in front of you again to hold the ice pack to your temple. âWhere does it hurt?â
âEverywhere,â you said miserably. Your head was wreathed in pain, but the ice was helping a little.
He studied your face with worry and gentleness. âIâm sorry, birdie. Did it come on all of a sudden?â
Your throat felt tight as you looked at him. âNo,â you said quietly.
âNo?â he repeated. His brow knit. âYou didnât say anything, sweetheart.â
âI didnât know if you were angry.â Your voice was wobbly. âI thought if I took some medicine, I wouldnât have to bother you.â
Even in the dim light, you could plainly read the surprise on his face. âWhat do you mean?â he asked. âWhy would I be angry?â
âI thought you were arguing with Jake,â you admitted. âThat maybe you had a bad day at work, and you were still in the middle of it when you got home. And since you didnât say anything to me when you got here, I thought...â You bit the inside of your cheek. âI didnât want to make it worse.â
âOh, honey.â He touched your cheek. âI wasnât angry. I just got caught up talking to him, but I shouldnât have been on the phone when I came home. Iâm sorry. Thank you for being so patient with me when Iâm being stupid.â
That coaxed out a watery laugh, and he gave you a gentle smile.
âIâm really sorry, birdie,â he said sincerely. âYou know you can interrupt anything if you need to ask me for help, right? Especially if youâre hurting.â
Your eyes welled with tears, but you didnât know if it was from the pain or the relief of having Sam with you after missing him all day.
âThank you,â you said softly.
âNo need to thank me, birdie,â he said gently. âI love you, and I want to take care of you.â He switched the ice pack to rest against the opposite temple and brushed the tears from your face.Â
âSweetheart,â he said, his voice soft and worried. âDoes it hurt that bad?â
âI donât know,â you admitted.
He hummed. âYeah. Just everything all together, huh?â
You nodded. âI missed you.â
âAw, birdie.â He kissed your face when you hugged him, holding you close for a moment. âI missed you too. Iâm sorry you donât feel good.â
He ran a hand over Rosieâs head, and she wagged her tail at finally being included after sitting patiently at your side.Â
âAnd you were just looking after mama, werenât you, sweet girl?â he said. He gently scuffed his hand up and down her side. âYouâre a good girl, Rosie.â
She rested her chin on your knee again, and Sam smiled.
âYeah, you love your mama. I know.â He patted the couch cushion. âCome up here and lay with her.â
She did obey him that time, and you curled up with her as Sam spread a soft blanket over you.
âWhat can I do, birdie?â he asked, brushing your hair back from your face.Â
You tried to think of what had helped last time you got a migraine this bad. You knew there wasnât much for it but to wait until the medicine kicked in, but surely there was something you could do.
âI donât know,â you said pitifully, knowing it wasnât helpful.
âWhat about some coke?â he offered. âI think the caffeine helps, right?â
You nodded. âI donât think we have any here, though.â
Sam had already pulled out his phone. âGood thing we live in the modern age. Do you want anything to eat?â
âI donât think so. Well, maybe. I donât know.â You groaned. âI hate this. I canât even think straight.â
âSo youâre thinking about Anne Hathaway? Sounds like a pretty good migraine to me.â
You couldnât help but laugh. âYouâre so dumb.â
He smiled. âYeah, but I made you laugh, and you know what they say about laughter being the best medicine.â
You tipped your face up towards him, and he leaned down to give you a gentle kiss. You felt an incredible relief to be with Sam, to have him making dumb jokes for you, to know that you could depend on him and rest completely in his care for you. The tension youâd carried since heâd come home gave way to the familiar comfort of simply being with him, and it made all the difference.
âSo, a large coke... extra ice, yeah?â he asked.
âYes please.â You hid your face behind the blanket and pressing the ice pack to your forehead. âI wish this medicine would be the best medicine. That would be great.â
âIâm sorry, baby,â he said, a little distracted as he placed your order. âListen, Iâm just going to get you something to eat, and you can decide later if you want it. Okay?â
âUh-huh.â
He gave a sympathetic chuckle. âMy poor birdie.â He pocketed his phone. âDo you want to watch a movie to take your mind off it? Or will the sound and the light make it worse?â
âI think I just want to lay here in the dark for a while, if thatâs okay.â
âThatâs perfectly fine, sweetheart.â
âCan you sit with me?â
âOf course.â
With a little maneuvering, all three of you found room on the couch; you lay with your head in Samâs lap, and Rosie was curled up at your feet.
âCan I put the ice pack on the other side?â you asked, feeling a little sheepish.
âOh, sure,â he said easily, doing it for you and putting the ice pack between your head and his lap. âYou know, I was just thinking I wanted a nice ice pack to the crotch. Itâs refreshing, really.â
You laughed. âThanks. Let me know if you get a little too frosty.â
He leaned his head back and absently played with your hair, breathing a tired sigh. âThis is nice, actually. We should lay in the dark more often.â
âYeah, it is nice.â You wished you werenât in pain, but other than that, it was nice. âSo what were you not-arguing with Jake about?â
He hummed. âWell, thatâs kind of a long, involved story.â
You closed your eyes and relaxed against him. âI like long, involved stories. Tell me.â
He did, and it was soothing to listen to him as he wove you a tale of brotherly bickering and artistic decision-making. By the time your food arrived, youâd managed to follow only half of the narrative twists and turns, but the sound of his voice had worked its magic.
âThereâs your coke, birdie,â he said quietly, easing you up so he could get off the couch. âBe right back.â
He came back in with bags of takeout, and you found you were feeling well enough to sit up and take your drink when he offered it to you.
âFeeling better, baby?â he asked.
âA little,â you said. You took a long drink. âThanks for getting this.â
âSure. I hope it helps.â He set the bags on the coffee table. âAre you hungry?â
You thought about it. You still felt achy and woozy, but your appetite had returned somewhat.
âDid you get any fries?â you asked.
The corner of his mouth tipped up. âYep.â
The three of you got settled again, and Rosie took a few minutes from her vigil to have her dinner; you and Sam started a documentary about the making of Friday the 13th.
âI still donât know why you like to watch this documentary when you wonât watch the movie,â Sam said. âMakes no sense, birdie.â
You laughed. âThe movieâs scary!â you said. âAnd lakehouses are supposed to be about romance, not murder.â
He gave you a cocky smirk. âYouâd know all about lakehouse romance, wouldnât you?â
You blushed. The two of you had just celebrated your anniversary a few weeks ago; youâd gone up to stay at the same cabin where youâd fallen in love, and Sam had certainly pulled out all the stops to make it romantic in every sense of the word.
He picked up your ice pack and touched it to your cheek. âHere, birdie. Your cheeks are all red.â
You laughed and pushed it back towards him. âYouâre awful.â
He kissed your cheek to soothe the icy sting. âYouâre beautiful.â
You finally felt the medicine start to work as you had dinner, and Rosie came back with her chewy bone to keep her occupied as she sat next to you. Sam cleaned up when you were done, and when he came back to the couch, he asked if you wanted him to braid your hair.
âI just thought it might help,â he said. âBut you look like youâre feeling better, actually.â
âI am,â you said. Between the medicine and Samâs ministrations, you had started to feel much better. âBut I would love it if you braided my hair.â
He smiled. âSay no more, my love.â
You sat on the floor between his legs, and from the first moment his fingers started to gently untangle your hair, you were in heaven. He took his time, lightly scratching your scalp, rubbing circles along your temples and behind your ears, gathering your hair just to brush his fingers through it in a soothing, repetitive motion.
âThis is some braid,â you mumbled, content and starting to feel sleepy now that the pain had subsided.
He chuckled. âDoes it feel good, birdie?â
You hummed in agreement. âThank you.â
He kissed the crown of your head. âYouâre welcome.â
He finally did put your hair in a simple braid, and you rested your head against his knee when he was done.
âI decided something,â you said.
âOh yeah?â He traced his fingers over your jaw. âWhatâs that?â
You wrapped your arms around his leg. âI think youâre the best medicine.â
âSweet birdie,â he said gently, and you could hear the smile in his voice. âIâm glad I could help, honey. And Iâm really glad youâre feeling better.â
He tugged lightly on your braid. âBut I can tell youâre sleepy, and I donât think you want to sleep on the floor.â
Reluctantly, you got up from your spot and joined him again on the couch. You snuggled up to him as he leaned against the arm of the couch, and he tried to pull the blanket over the two of you.
âRosie,â he said. âYouâre on mamaâs blanket.â
He pulled it again, gently, just enough to tell her to move. She hopped down from the couch and then hopped right back up, tucking herself by your feet once you and Sam were settled.
âThere we go,â Sam said, putting his arm around you. âSammy and birdie and Rosie, all snuggled up.â
You toyed with his necklace as he put on another movie, knowing youâd be asleep before it was five minutes in.
âJust push me off when you want to get up,â you said. You knew he wasnât ready for bed yet and didnât want him to feel like he had to stay for your sake after youâd fallen asleep.
He laughed, and you loved the sound of it all rumbly and warm in his chest.
âI donât think Iâll just push you off, birdie,â he said. âBut thanks. Iâll keep that option in mind.â
You cuddled close. âThank you for taking care of me.â
âYouâre very welcome,â he said gently. He ran his hand up and down your back, easing the last of your pain until it faded completely. âI love you, birdie.â
You gave a sleepy, contented sigh as you fell asleep. âI love you too.â
sam taglist: @lil-twilight-glow @ageoffleeet
gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama @honeyandsweettae @mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister @eraofstardustchords @sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream @serendipiti @demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x@tearsofdanny @iluvjoshkiszka @jordie-gvf-admin@demolitionndann @hi-hi-hello11 @wildbluesorbit @nessie-glorpa @laneygvf
@gvfrry@ohhey1293@the-chaotic-cow@mountain-in-springtime@xserenax-13@stardustjtk @brooke-gvf@weightofdreams-gvf@jakeydoesit@gretasmokerising@hayley1623@doodle417@finestoflines@brokenbellz@bowievanfleet@s0livagant@strugglingtodoshit@s-u-t@kay-jordan@gretavanfleas@jakeyboiiiiiii@gretavansteph@gretavanbitches@myownparadise96@luverleaver@weightofdreamz@greatervanfleet@maedesculpaeusoubi@jakekiszkasbestie@pineapple-photographer@baguettejuliette@alexxavicry@levi-wants-ur-bones@carlybubs@cowboysamkiszka@dannyandthekiszkas@jordierama@slutforsteve@starshine-wagner@quartzzzzzzz@edgeofdreams@writingcold @lostoverseer @catharu77 @mackalah@jaketlove @haileygvf @blacksoul-27 @ur-m0ms-blog
sorry if tumblr didnât tag you â itâs stupid sometimes. but iâm real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if youâre a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here! âĄ
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