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heading off for the night officially. had a really long day, running on a few hours sleep, my body im pretty sure is back to wanting me dead again and life is draining any will i have out of me - you get the picture. anywho, catch me on ims and that sort of stuff. night lovely people x

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Neil Gaiman, The Sandman (via books-n-quotes)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

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50 Shades of Blue! Send a colour to ask something sexual:

Aqua: Top or bottom?

Azure: What’s your biggest turn-on?

Baby Blue: Have you ever had sex with someone of the same gender?

Carolina: Have you ever had sex with someone of a different gender?

Cerulean: What’s your biggest turn-off?

Cyan: What’s your sexual orientation?

Cobalt: Rough or soft?

Cornflower: Are you a virgin?

Denim: Are you naturally submissive or dominant?

Electric: Do you prefer lingerie to regular underwear?

Indigo: Do you like phone sex?

Lapis: What’s your best fantasy?

Midnight: Are you into role-play?

Oxford: Have you ever had sex with more than one person?

Periwinkle: Do you use toys often?

Persian: Would you do public sex at all?

Powder Blue: Vanilla sex or spiced up?

Prussian: Confess a kink to me?

Royal: What’s your favourite position?

Sapphire: When was the last time you had sex?

Sky: Do you read smut/watch porn?

Teal: Where was the strangest place you ever had sex?

Tiffany: Would you/do you do sex work?

Turquoise: Have you ever taken part in group sex?

True: Do you remember your first time?

Ultramarine: Do you do/enjoy oral?

Zaffre: Make up your own question!

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sext messages.

[ 📲 • sms ] —— i want to mark you as mine; that’s why i’ve been sharpening my nails. [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m going to make you scream my name tonight. [ 📲 • sms ] —— if i were with you right now, where would you want me to touch you? [ 📲 • sms ] —— sucking on a blow pop right now and wishing it was you… [ 📲 • sms ] —— have you ever had a wet dream with me in it? be honest … [ 📲 • sms ] —— if you could do anything you want to me, what would you do? [ 📲 • sms ] —— i think we should just be friends with sexual tension ;) [ 📲 • sms ] —— my hands. my hips. my lips. your body. tonight. [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m touching myself right now. wish you were here ;) [ 📲 • sms ] —— your chin, your shoulders, and your … i think you know what I’m trying to say here. [ 📲 • sms ] —— thinking about how sexy you look in that fitted black button-down …  [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m just laying in bed with nothing to do . .  [ 📲 • sms ] —— trying to decide between the red lacy thong or the pink boy shorts . .  [ 📲 • sms ] —— that thing you did last night makes me want to scream. [ 📲 • sms ] —— just wondering … what is your sexual fantasy? [ 📲 • sms ] —— just bought new underwear and can’t wait to show it to you. [ 📲 • sms ] —— guess the color of my underwear? [ 📲 • sms ] —— what are you wearing right now? [ 📲 • sms ] —— send me a pic ;) [ 📲 • sms ] —— talk dirty to me ;) [ 📲 • sms ] —— want to watch porn with me? [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m touching myself while texting you. [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m thinking about all the dirty things i want to do to you. [ 📲 • sms ] —— mmm yes baby tell me what more you want to do to me. [ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m so horny right now. [ 📲 • sms ] —— i want you to cum on my face. [ 📲 • sms ] —— had a wet dream about you last night. [ 📲 • sms ] —— turn my wet dreams into realities.

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me when someone tries to tell me mary is dead and i should get over it:

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flicking through the mail that sits upon the table, letters and bills piling up after mary’s death, john had shut himself off. he decides to finally do something about it, when instead, a dvd case catches his eye. no return address on it. nothing special. all it says written on it is ‘miss you always’. and so, he does what any person would do. he puts the dvd into the player upon the side of the television when he sees his wife pop up on screen. 

“god i can’t do this...” he thinks for a moment. pausing the dvd. her smiling face looking over to him. he can’t just turn this off, could he? this is mary, of all people. another few brief moments have passed before he presses play once again, running a hand through his hair before mary talks once more.

“hey darling...” her voice was as soft and gentle as he remembered. he never wanted to forget that voice. “so, i thought it was only right to leave you a little something incase the day comes that my past catches up with me. i don’t even, really know what to say right now, really. what do you say to the man that changed your life even though he doesn’t know it?”

he bites the tip of his nail, attempting to hold himself together as he listens on.

“when i left my old life, when i came back to london. i felt as if i was at a cross roads. i was struggling to find myself. remember who i was. new identities don’t really help that.” she laughed lightly at her words. “but then, oh then a couple of years later, you came into my life. god, you were all i could’ve ever wanted and i doubt you really even knew just how much. now now, if i know you as well as i think i do, you’re probably getting a bit emotional, don’t you start getting emotional on me john watson so help me god. well it’s not like i can really do anything now. or maybe i can. who knows what the next part of life brings.” 

how did she always do that? even when he was at his worst, even in death, she still could make him smile through the pain. 

“anyway, you truly made me remember what it felt like to enjoy life again. and hey, i think i maybe brought that out in you again too. we weren’t perfect, no one is. but we always worked. we clicked. we were the perfect example of ying and yang. we were two long lost pieces just trying to find that other half to us. sometimes, the edges got a bit blunt, a bit jaggeded but they always fit in the end.  somedays i’m sure i drove you bloody mental and trust me, you drove me bloody mental somedays. but it didn’t matter.  we had this little world of ours and that little world was all i ever wanted when the day came to an end.”

if only they could still have that little world.

“but you, i want you to do a few things for me okay? you are, a good man. even on the days you don’t think you are. you have your rough sides but that is okay. it’s not a bad thing that you think it might be. it’s what makes you you. believe it. be that good doctor who never came home from the battle, from the war. the one who at the end of the day, no matter the circumstance will do what needs to be done. that’s the man i fell in love with. that despite those flaws, he was determined, lively, focused, smart, brave. that, is you. that is the good man i know is there. i know it’s not going to be easy for you. i know the type of man you are in these situations. you won’t talk to anyone, you won’t open up. you’ll start morning drinking again. you’ll say you don’t need anyone when you are, going to need someone. do it for me. you know i’m right, when have i ever been wrong?”

god, she was always right. even in death she was right. 

“i want you to be able to live out the rest of your days to the fullest. take care of rosie. love her more then you’ve loved anything in the world. tell her about me. tell her i’m always going to be around, and if she ever needs me all she needs to is talk and i’ll be there to listen. there’s a box of letters i’ve wrote up in the spare bedroom for her, one for each birthday she’ll be without me. for when she graduates kinder, and primary school, and high school. one for if she goes off to university and if she gets married. you can catch the drift. write those brilliant stories with that brilliant mind of yours - if the doctor thing ever fails out, you know you’ve got a plan b. you could probably make a book series out of yours and sherlock’s adventures. go on trips and meet new people. see the world in all its miraculous beauty. save lives. be, john watson. be the man i know you are. and don’t say you’re not the man i thought you were. because i know you. i know who you are. and i know who you could become. be a hero. y’know why? ‘cause you were mine. still are. i love you, darling. always have, always will. forever.” 

forever was never as long as one wished. 

                 and that could surely be said for john watson and his departed wife.

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Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.

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What doesn’t kill me should run, because now I’m fucking pissed

(via

meaty-bicycle

)

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— Iain Thomas, I Wrote This for You ↳ BBC Sherlock (4.01 | 4.02)

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watsonofagun:

@ofcourseshesbetter because John wants attention.

          “Yes, I stopped shaving to protest in my cause.”

Nice of Mary to take notice after spending too much time with the dog and cat. He did try to make it obvious anyway, and perhaps Rosie had helped, as the toddler was seated on his lap and feeling his stubbly face with much fascination and entertainment. The child had taken an interest since noticing it that evening. Good thing it only took four days for it to become prominent.

          “So unless you give me attention, I’m going to keep this and           you’ll never be able to get clean kisses from me.”

John seriously thought he was being clever; Mary didn’t like his moustache, after all.

The dog stretched out across her lap, the cat purring by her feet - Mary couldn’t of been more content stretching out on the floor, watching with nothing but love at the sight of her husband and daughter in the chair before her. Though the exact sight of a much more scruffier version of her husband definitely caught her attention.

“Y’know, I don’t mind you keeping that look. Better then that horrific moustache. Super rugged, edgy. I like it. The moustache… yeah lets not go there.”

She smirked at him as she gave the dog a scratch behind the ears, soft purrs of the cat behind her falling asleep.

“— I think it could be fun, actually. Clearly Rosie thinks so too.”

                And to think he thought he was going to beat her out with this.