ofdevotedfirefighter - Tumblr blog

[ofdevotedfirefighter]

Love was worth fighting for, as the saying goes. There was a time when Chimney doubted he’d find joy, true happiness with another person. He had loved childishly so before, but Maddie the second we met I felt a spark an attraction I had never felt before. And I smiled coyly, that first date; standing on stage with her singing a corny karaoke song, laughing until our faces hurt. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, I nerves I once felt, all the reasons to feel happiness standing right in front of me. And She was my joy, my rock. We fell in love, and had a daughter; and I naively believed we were made for each other. 

I didn’t care about the history; the past, I wanted to help Maddie, I believed in a true form of love, and I knew the type of wife, mother Maddie was capable of. And at the time when she left I didn’t feel mad like everyone expected me to be. I didn’t anger, I felt sadness, because Maddie felt she was no good for me for our daughter. Mistakes don’t define us. Chimney never allowed her past to define the woman she was now. She was loyal compassionate; if she didn’t love us she wouldn’t of run. I needed to give the brunette the benefit of the doubt, I had to try, and Evan had tried to tell me to give her space, but I gave her weeks of space, and I now felt like a man on a mission. A man who needed to put in the effort to put our family back together. All was said and done, Boston was her roots; the home she once made. And I knew even if I came eye to eye with Maddie she could single handedly reject me; tell me to leave to where it broke my heart in two. But Our daughter in her stroller she was a cutie; she was hard to say no to. Her little brunette locks of hair growing out; her feet fitting into shoes now, she made my heart pound. And I followed the trail each step of movement moving faster down these narrowed halls. The male caught a sight of her hair; “ Maddie.” I called with an ache forming in my chest. As if a race on time, I ran down the hall and to the exit doors. A wing down; so close to my future. The male had managed to slip us through the doorway; and when I got outside the crisp air, hitting my face. Brown eyes scanned the area; as if Maddie left us in the dust.. 

Her name on the tip of my tongue; but I had no idea what to say, she saw me and ran? Was this a sign? Was I wasting time fighting? If she wasn’t willing to fight for us in the end?

Finding our way home.

@heartfeltdispatcher 

The fear of the future you planned going south. Of course it had always been on the back of my mind. I wasn’t the ideal guy a women like Maddie would fall for. But I remembered our first outing; at the small karaoke bar; Buck had been there; we had phased the outing as if it wasn’t a date. Because I didn’t want to push, I liked Maddie and I felt the attraction was mutual. I remembered the way I felt the music, the way we stole glances through that song, it should’ve been humiliating but for Chimney he had fun. He liked to enjoy himself when he wasn’t on shift. He built a family within the firehouse. A home. 

Those were the people he leaned on these last few weeks, the weeks of the unknown. Weeks of wondering what he did, what he could’ve done to stop Maddie from leaving. From leaving that heartbreaking video message one that tore his heart up inside. Han had stopped by each day for a week to check in on me and our daughter; yeah that one non-date had turned into a permanent love, a permanent future one I had locked sight on until recently. I wanted the future, I thought Maddie had felt the same. We had Jee-Yun our precious little girl, the girl that smiled, who laughed in your face. She cried non stop through the night; and maybe the crying, the lack of sleep had become unbearable. 

Chimney told himself it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Maddie, well it was she was the one who left us. She was the one who picked up her belongings and disappeared, I mean you couldn’t locate her. Buck had tried, he had called on my behalf, he had checked in with their parents and they tried to give a lame excuse as to why he was digging into Maddie’s whereabouts. I was cutting my losses now, I was tired of the ache in my chest. I was tired of calling everyday only to hear her number was no longer in service. I was worried for her, all i wanted was to hear her voice. I needed to know she was okay; the male knew he was being impulsive when he followed his gut intuition that Maddie might go back; to her own stomping grounds, the place she had worked as a nurse, the where she ran from when her ex marriage went south. It was worth a short; I wanted to bring our daughter with me, knowing maybe by chance Maddie had missed her, missed us, Jee- Yun. But I didn’t want our daughter to remember the weeks the months that her mother was absent, I wanted her to feel loved, to know her parents loved her unconditionally, and that’s why I had decided to leave Jee-yun with Buck for a few days, I figured I’d either find the brunette in one clean swoop, or I’d come back empty handed, and Buck was her uncle, I knew he acted like a child at times, but when it came to his uncle duties, I trusted him with my life. 

So I had packed a suitcase full of clothes, any necessary items required for an overnight; and I stepped on the gas. The drive was long 2 days to arrive, I had taken a few gas station stops to fill up and to use the bathroom but I surprisingly didn’t eat much, I brought road snacks but the knots in my stomach couldn’t stomach the idea of containing food. Even now as I rolled up to the parking lot of the famous Boston hospital, I felt my my body was in a puddle of nerves, why? Because what if Maddie was here? I had no idea what to say. I worried but I also was feeling hurt, betrayed that I wasn’t worth a real goodbye, I wanted to give Maddie the benefit of the doubt her reasons, but i needed that face to face conversation. The male slowly pulled himself out of the car shoes hitting the pavement. 

Exhaling a steady breath, he clicked the lock on his car remote, and he let his eyes meet the entering and exit doors. “ Here we go.” He said to himself as one foot went forward in strides.

[ofdevotedfirefighter]

Chimney had been rejected before. He’d been the guy left out to dry before. It wasn’t anything new. And normally he’d accept the heartbreak in defeat like a gain of salt. But with Maddie he was left feeling hurt, disappointed, defeated. He was confused because he thought they’d been in a good place. We had a daughter our beautiful baby girl, who we loved with every fiber inside of us. And we loved each other; and Chimney simply felt blindsided. One day he was left behind like he meant nothing. But Maddie didn’t just leave me, she left our child, who had curious eyes; who wanted to know her mother; and Chimney knew he was probably on a wild goose hunt. Maddie had made it more than perfectly clear she had no interest in calling to me, in wanting to be with me. But I couldn’t shake the feeling I was close to finding her. To attempting to shake sense into her. 

Maddie had her own set of history; one that made it difficult to trust. I didn’t blame her, I didn’t hate Maddie. I was disappointed in the outburst, in how easy it was for her to leave us, with nothing but a note and a video. I could see the brunette was hurting. I could see she was struggling and it tugged at my heart strings, I didn’t want to give up hope on her. Which is why I tracked her down to Boston the place that made sense for her. This damn freezing cold; the man was not a fan. But he was inside closed doors. He was feeling helpless, he was feeling defeated; did he believe she’d read the note he left? No because Maddie was stubborn as hell. And if the girl believed she was making the choices she would probably just rip the note down. Leaving the male walking aimlessly through the halls of a hospital he never been in. In a place he felt like he was walking in circles in. Chimney wasn’t a fan, but his daughter was laid back into her stroller, and she was the one to close her eyes and a rounded smile turned to the corners of his lips. She looked soundly, peaceful it filled his heart with joy. 

He found himself turning the corner; the aimless opened doors, patient rooms, one scanning room is what he assumed when he noticed the X-rays lined up. But he was being nosey now, he wanted to laugh at himself. He did find himself back at the nurses desk the lobby of the hospital, pulling the stroller to a stop, the male had been the one to notice a nurse. “ Hey, have you seen Maddie Buckley?” He asked assuming the brunette may use her last name, and the nurse had simply pointed to the hall forward, was that the indication Maddie was here? That she walked down the hall recently? His eyes glued to the hall ahead. 

A chaser, to be heard, to be with her again, his heart held on tight to his frame, one step forward, in order to see her again, pain, and suffering it was worth it for real love, at least that’s what the stories say.

Finding our way home.

@heartfeltdispatcher 

The fear of the future you planned going south. Of course it had always been on the back of my mind. I wasn’t the ideal guy a women like Maddie would fall for. But I remembered our first outing; at the small karaoke bar; Buck had been there; we had phased the outing as if it wasn’t a date. Because I didn’t want to push, I liked Maddie and I felt the attraction was mutual. I remembered the way I felt the music, the way we stole glances through that song, it should’ve been humiliating but for Chimney he had fun. He liked to enjoy himself when he wasn’t on shift. He built a family within the firehouse. A home. 

Those were the people he leaned on these last few weeks, the weeks of the unknown. Weeks of wondering what he did, what he could’ve done to stop Maddie from leaving. From leaving that heartbreaking video message one that tore his heart up inside. Han had stopped by each day for a week to check in on me and our daughter; yeah that one non-date had turned into a permanent love, a permanent future one I had locked sight on until recently. I wanted the future, I thought Maddie had felt the same. We had Jee-Yun our precious little girl, the girl that smiled, who laughed in your face. She cried non stop through the night; and maybe the crying, the lack of sleep had become unbearable. 

Chimney told himself it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Maddie, well it was she was the one who left us. She was the one who picked up her belongings and disappeared, I mean you couldn’t locate her. Buck had tried, he had called on my behalf, he had checked in with their parents and they tried to give a lame excuse as to why he was digging into Maddie’s whereabouts. I was cutting my losses now, I was tired of the ache in my chest. I was tired of calling everyday only to hear her number was no longer in service. I was worried for her, all i wanted was to hear her voice. I needed to know she was okay; the male knew he was being impulsive when he followed his gut intuition that Maddie might go back; to her own stomping grounds, the place she had worked as a nurse, the where she ran from when her ex marriage went south. It was worth a short; I wanted to bring our daughter with me, knowing maybe by chance Maddie had missed her, missed us, Jee- Yun. But I didn’t want our daughter to remember the weeks the months that her mother was absent, I wanted her to feel loved, to know her parents loved her unconditionally, and that’s why I had decided to leave Jee-yun with Buck for a few days, I figured I’d either find the brunette in one clean swoop, or I’d come back empty handed, and Buck was her uncle, I knew he acted like a child at times, but when it came to his uncle duties, I trusted him with my life. 

So I had packed a suitcase full of clothes, any necessary items required for an overnight; and I stepped on the gas. The drive was long 2 days to arrive, I had taken a few gas station stops to fill up and to use the bathroom but I surprisingly didn’t eat much, I brought road snacks but the knots in my stomach couldn’t stomach the idea of containing food. Even now as I rolled up to the parking lot of the famous Boston hospital, I felt my my body was in a puddle of nerves, why? Because what if Maddie was here? I had no idea what to say. I worried but I also was feeling hurt, betrayed that I wasn’t worth a real goodbye, I wanted to give Maddie the benefit of the doubt her reasons, but i needed that face to face conversation. The male slowly pulled himself out of the car shoes hitting the pavement. 

Exhaling a steady breath, he clicked the lock on his car remote, and he let his eyes meet the entering and exit doors. “ Here we go.” He said to himself as one foot went forward in strides.

[ofdevotedfirefighter]

Being abandoned; Chimney knew the drill. He used to peg himself on being good at reading when someone was about to bolt. He and his own family not communication what so ever. The family he had the one he loved that was important to him was the firehouse and his daughter; Maddie too. She was someone he fell instantly in love with. She was sweet; she had those eyes that just looked into your soul. Chimney never judged; he was never scared for himself when he found out what happened to Maddie; why she had to flee her home with her ex husband. He was angry at the husband for feeling it was okay to hurt her; he was scared for her. And the funny thing he would’ve given his life countless times for her. Maddie was special; she was this light for him; and our daughter man we were so lucky to have her with us. 

But her disappearing on us; her leaving almost felt unforgivable. At least Hen she had my back; she helped heal my broken wounds. She helped keep me level headed through the heartbreak. She was my best friend. No offense to Buck I tried to get information from him for weeks; but he told me Maddie never took his calls. Which tracked in the end. But it was dishearting for me. All I wanted was to hear her voice. To know she was safe; I worried about her. But I was hurt; it stung that she decided she was over me, and our family. Her video message kept replaying in my mind. The sorrow in her voice; how she thought she was doing what was best for me and our daughter. What happened? I had to ask myself. I felt helpless in the cause because I felt out of the loop. I had a small pity party for myself when my daughter was asleep, because I had to put on a brave face for Jee I wanted to protect her from knowing Maddie was gone. For how long? Honestly Chimney couldn’t tell you. He did his part; he had the help with Buck if he felt overwhelmed or if he just needed to see a friendly face. Chimney was mad; angry at Maddie but his heart still beating rapidly for her. Hints why he was following the leads that led to Boston; a place that held memories; that held an experience for her. And now I hoped to try to mend any broken fences between us. If she chose to. 

Each step felt like ages weighing down on me. I felt the pit in my stomach when I pushed the doors open coming to an unfamiliar hospital. The desk was marble, the nurse had that sweet sing along voice; as I stepped forward preparing to ask; but if Maddie was hiding from me, from us, if she caught wind of me being here; she might run in the opposite direction. So I offered a smile as I turned in the other direction finding fascination with the line of announcements board; I had run my fingers over the dates sighted, I had pulled down a pen; and I wrote a vague note in case Maddie was here; if she passed by the board she might see I still cared; broken pieces didn’t mean we were over. I was still waiting for her. 

“ Chimney is here; we’re here.” I wrote; most likely the worse to occur would the brunette would toss the message out. Shallowing the gulp in my throat; I had turned pushing the pen into my pocket as I slowly ventured down the hall; listening for her voice; indicate she was aimlessly walking these halls same as me.

Finding our way home.

@heartfeltdispatcher 

The fear of the future you planned going south. Of course it had always been on the back of my mind. I wasn’t the ideal guy a women like Maddie would fall for. But I remembered our first outing; at the small karaoke bar; Buck had been there; we had phased the outing as if it wasn’t a date. Because I didn’t want to push, I liked Maddie and I felt the attraction was mutual. I remembered the way I felt the music, the way we stole glances through that song, it should’ve been humiliating but for Chimney he had fun. He liked to enjoy himself when he wasn’t on shift. He built a family within the firehouse. A home. 

Those were the people he leaned on these last few weeks, the weeks of the unknown. Weeks of wondering what he did, what he could’ve done to stop Maddie from leaving. From leaving that heartbreaking video message one that tore his heart up inside. Han had stopped by each day for a week to check in on me and our daughter; yeah that one non-date had turned into a permanent love, a permanent future one I had locked sight on until recently. I wanted the future, I thought Maddie had felt the same. We had Jee-Yun our precious little girl, the girl that smiled, who laughed in your face. She cried non stop through the night; and maybe the crying, the lack of sleep had become unbearable. 

Chimney told himself it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Maddie, well it was she was the one who left us. She was the one who picked up her belongings and disappeared, I mean you couldn’t locate her. Buck had tried, he had called on my behalf, he had checked in with their parents and they tried to give a lame excuse as to why he was digging into Maddie’s whereabouts. I was cutting my losses now, I was tired of the ache in my chest. I was tired of calling everyday only to hear her number was no longer in service. I was worried for her, all i wanted was to hear her voice. I needed to know she was okay; the male knew he was being impulsive when he followed his gut intuition that Maddie might go back; to her own stomping grounds, the place she had worked as a nurse, the where she ran from when her ex marriage went south. It was worth a short; I wanted to bring our daughter with me, knowing maybe by chance Maddie had missed her, missed us, Jee- Yun. But I didn’t want our daughter to remember the weeks the months that her mother was absent, I wanted her to feel loved, to know her parents loved her unconditionally, and that’s why I had decided to leave Jee-yun with Buck for a few days, I figured I’d either find the brunette in one clean swoop, or I’d come back empty handed, and Buck was her uncle, I knew he acted like a child at times, but when it came to his uncle duties, I trusted him with my life. 

So I had packed a suitcase full of clothes, any necessary items required for an overnight; and I stepped on the gas. The drive was long 2 days to arrive, I had taken a few gas station stops to fill up and to use the bathroom but I surprisingly didn’t eat much, I brought road snacks but the knots in my stomach couldn’t stomach the idea of containing food. Even now as I rolled up to the parking lot of the famous Boston hospital, I felt my my body was in a puddle of nerves, why? Because what if Maddie was here? I had no idea what to say. I worried but I also was feeling hurt, betrayed that I wasn’t worth a real goodbye, I wanted to give Maddie the benefit of the doubt her reasons, but i needed that face to face conversation. The male slowly pulled himself out of the car shoes hitting the pavement. 

Exhaling a steady breath, he clicked the lock on his car remote, and he let his eyes meet the entering and exit doors. “ Here we go.” He said to himself as one foot went forward in strides.

[ofdevotedfirefighter]

Finding our way home.

@heartfeltdispatcher 

The fear of the future you planned going south. Of course it had always been on the back of my mind. I wasn’t the ideal guy a women like Maddie would fall for. But I remembered our first outing; at the small karaoke bar; Buck had been there; we had phased the outing as if it wasn't a date. Because I didn’t want to push, I liked Maddie and I felt the attraction was mutual. I remembered the way I felt the music, the way we stole glances through that song, it should’ve been humiliating but for Chimney he had fun. He liked to enjoy himself when he wasn’t on shift. He built a family within the firehouse. A home. 

Those were the people he leaned on these last few weeks, the weeks of the unknown. Weeks of wondering what he did, what he could’ve done to stop Maddie from leaving. From leaving that heartbreaking video message one that tore his heart up inside. Han had stopped by each day for a week to check in on me and our daughter; yeah that one non-date had turned into a permanent love, a permanent future one I had locked sight on until recently. I wanted the future, I thought Maddie had felt the same. We had Jee-Yun our precious little girl, the girl that smiled, who laughed in your face. She cried non stop through the night; and maybe the crying, the lack of sleep had become unbearable. 

Chimney told himself it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Maddie, well it was she was the one who left us. She was the one who picked up her belongings and disappeared, I mean you couldn’t locate her. Buck had tried, he had called on my behalf, he had checked in with their parents and they tried to give a lame excuse as to why he was digging into Maddie’s whereabouts. I was cutting my losses now, I was tired of the ache in my chest. I was tired of calling everyday only to hear her number was no longer in service. I was worried for her, all i wanted was to hear her voice. I needed to know she was okay; the male knew he was being impulsive when he followed his gut intuition that Maddie might go back; to her own stomping grounds, the place she had worked as a nurse, the where she ran from when her ex marriage went south. It was worth a short; I wanted to bring our daughter with me, knowing maybe by chance Maddie had missed her, missed us, Jee- Yun. But I didn’t want our daughter to remember the weeks the months that her mother was absent, I wanted her to feel loved, to know her parents loved her unconditionally, and that’s why I had decided to leave Jee-yun with Buck for a few days, I figured I’d either find the brunette in one clean swoop, or I’d come back empty handed, and Buck was her uncle, I knew he acted like a child at times, but when it came to his uncle duties, I trusted him with my life. 

So I had packed a suitcase full of clothes, any necessary items required for an overnight; and I stepped on the gas. The drive was long 2 days to arrive, I had taken a few gas station stops to fill up and to use the bathroom but I surprisingly didn’t eat much, I brought road snacks but the knots in my stomach couldn’t stomach the idea of containing food. Even now as I rolled up to the parking lot of the famous Boston hospital, I felt my my body was in a puddle of nerves, why? Because what if Maddie was here? I had no idea what to say. I worried but I also was feeling hurt, betrayed that I wasn’t worth a real goodbye, I wanted to give Maddie the benefit of the doubt her reasons, but i needed that face to face conversation. The male slowly pulled himself out of the car shoes hitting the pavement. 

Exhaling a steady breath, he clicked the lock on his car remote, and he let his eyes meet the entering and exit doors. “ Here we go.” He said to himself as one foot went forward in strides.