official-rats

[official-rats]

The people who make those “character assigned to your birth month” posts fucking hate the month of September. I’m not even kidding when I say there has not been a single good option for the September crowd in that genre of post. There is a clear bias inherent in this system and we must root it out and cleanse it before it continues to fester and grow.

[official-rats]

I need to find more organic ways to incorporate Carl Weathers’ “Baby you got a stew going” catchphrase into my daily life.

[official-rats]

The guy who writes the NYT connections puzzle is actively trying to kill me

[official-rats]

I got nerfed (spent all my money on groceries and rent)

[official-rats]

Do we have a slur for A.I “artists” yet?

[official-rats]

Letting a Tesla run me over to start a landmark lawsuit that eventually ruins Elon Musk financially

[official-rats]

Painful experience when the wrong tram pulls up at the stop you’re waiting at. Akin to those scenes where a person must chase away a faithful and loyal animal bonded to them. Gotta look over the sea of cars to make sure they know I’m looking for another tram, and I can see the light leaving the driver’s eyes.

[official-rats]

The greatest moments in history repeat themselves once more

Geeked up at Chemist Warehouse rn

[official-rats]

They put my boy through the “machine” that turns you Italian

[official-rats]

Geeked up at Chemist Warehouse rn

[official-rats]

I always like to give myself about 30 seconds of hesitation to allow any time traveller to show up and stop me before I make any big decisions

[official-rats]

Just stood up for an express train that passed my station. Gotta make it look real slick like I did that on purpose or else they’ll kill me

[official-rats]

I wish I had the power to psychically lobotomise people by telepathically blasting “FUCKHEAD” into their skulls until their nose starts bleeding. I would use this power only on the various apps that send me notifications to use the app, and people who I think look evil on the street.

[official-rats]

Can you just call yourself Esquire or does the title have to be bestowed upon you by Bill S. Preston himself?

[official-rats]

Hardest choice to make is when you’ve gotta make the executive decision to get off the toilet despite knowing full well you’ve got more left in the tank

[official-rats]

Only time I ever truly experienced closure was when my little sister asked me to help her with the first level of Geometry Dash and I beat it first try. My inner child is dead… he can finally rest…

[official-rats]

Shout out to mushrooms for simultaneously being freaky little eldritch horrors as well as the second worst thing to put on a pizza