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happy pride month to my biphobic lesbian ex gf, who then turned out to be straight. what the fuck was all that about girl 😭
#pride month#pride#yeah idfk what she was on#she would get onto bisexuals for dating mostly men#like look where u ended up#i think it was some weird internalised thing
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What if Shen Yuan gets a petty princess boyfriend because the universe (I) said so.
-wrote a little ficlet about them under the cut ✨-
Shen Yuan's (very confused) POV:
You know, there are days you wake up and think, “Wow, life is weird.” And then there are days you wake up and there's a beautiful, irritated, probably-came-from-a-period-drama man sitting on your couch like he owns the place, glaring at your toaster like it personally offended his ancestors.
Yeah. I’m talking about that kind of day.
It started, as these things always do, with a thunderclap, some suspiciously glittery mist, and the next thing I knew, there was a very angry, very elegant man standing in the middle of my studio apartment. He looked around my humble little man-cave—okay, fine, it was a bit of a pig sty. I wasn't expecting visitors—and sneered so hard I thought his face would stay that way forever.
“This is your abode?” he asked, with the same tone I use when I accidentally step in dog poop.
“Uh,” I said intelligibly. “Yes…?”
He hissed. Hissed. Like a very angry, very pretty feral cat. It was alarming. And a little hot? No, stop that, Shen Yuan. Bad. No petting the murder kitty.
So. A quick summary: the stranger introduced himself—begrudgingly—as Shen Jiu.
A handsome stranger.
And he was in my house.
Living in my apartment.
Breathing my air.
Criticizing my instant ramen choices like he wasn’t literally eating all of them.
“You eat like a beggar,” he said yesterday, sipping tea he made himself after complaining my kettle was ‘barbaric’. “This isn't sustenance. It's punishment.”
Okay. One: accurate. Two: rude.
But we fell into a rhythm after a few weeks, somehow. Like a weird little odd-couple sitcom. Every morning, I’d wake up to Shen Jiu curled in a pile of throw blankets on my futon, looking like a disgruntled Persian cat. He hated the TV but would still watch it with a kind of horrified fascination. He especially hated anime. That was… a problem.
The turning point came when he caught me watching some over the top shonen anime and heard me make a passing comment about the protagonist’s abs.
“You like that?” he asked, voice tight. “You like him?”
“What? No, I—” I laughed, awkward. “It’s just anime—”
He made a sound like someone dropped a piano on his pride and turned off the laptop with a single disdainful poke of a button.
“You’re not allowed to look at other men,” he said, eyes narrowed.
“…What?”
“You heard me,” he said, as if that explained anything and then settled on my lap.
Then he stole my glasses.
He literally plucked them off my face like a bully on the schoolyard and perched them on his own perfectly arched nose.
I stared. Squinted, really. “I’m legally blind.”
“Good,” he snapped. “Then you can’t ogle those fake men anymore. Who draws them like that anyway? It’s obscene.”
“Jiu-ge,” I said gently. “Um… Can I have my glasses back please?”
“For what? To look at other men? I don’t think so.”
Never—and I mean never—has anyone been so furiously jealous of fictional anime boys that they physically robbed me of my glasses. It was almost impressive.
And I let him keep them.
Why? Because the alternative was him going back into Feral Mode™ where he hisses and threatens to set my bookshelf on fire with qi that I still don’t believe exists in this universe.
Besides… I didn’t mind the glasses thing so much when he was situated on my lap like I was his personal throne.
“You’re warm,” he said, nonchalant, like this was normal. Like he didn't came from a completely different reality.
“Cool,” I wheezed, not cool at all.
“You’re flustered,” he added, smug.
I was. But I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of admitting it. Instead, I tried to focus on the dead screen of my laptop, even if everything was blurry.
So now I’m trapped in a never-ending loop of being lowkey bullied by a man with cheekbones sharp enough to commit murder, who eats all my ramen, hoards my glasses, gets jealous of anime characters, and has absolutely no concept of personal space.
And you know what the worst part is?
I think I might like it.
Please send help.
…Or not.
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sqq’s birthday is one of the most stressful events in binghe’s life
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Lesbian bingqiu
Save me lesbian bingqiu
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Modern Cumplane as BESTIES! and what do best friends do? Edit harem novels during a hang out! (And maybe one of us takes a nap on the floor...)
Prompt is for @yuujispinkhair for SvsssAction!
Thank you so much for your donation, and I hope you like it 🫶
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My piece for the Fandom Trumps Hate 2025 event, requested by @xmoriartea for their fic :
https://archiveofourown.org/works/65059912
Top!✈️SQH/Bottom! 🥒SY
Prompt Requested:
Cumplane ✈️🥒
(Shen Yuan comes home to find Shang Qinghua changing into a Luo Binghe cosplay, shenigans ensue.)
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Bingge voice I fucked a woman for 3 hours and couldn't finish so while she was sleeping I left bed to walk off my frustration and found the palace library's assistant in the garden and he said I looked unwell and held my hand and closed his eyes and chanted a spell to make me feel better and when he opened his eyes again he smiled and asked if it worked and said a big strong man like me needs to be properly rested and I came in my pants. What does that mean
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nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au
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do you remember the great skinzun apocalypse of 2024
I fear it never ended
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A proposal
Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.
It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”
For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:
[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]
The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”
(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)
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Mobei Jun has found the perfect way to get his "advisor" to north: bribery.
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I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic
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Art trade in the BingYuan server: Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu having a casual discussion about Airplane’s writing choices :) they’re best friends
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Been a really long time since I've watched Daredevil but I do remember coming away from it feeling like it presented a pretty compelling internally-consistent moral justification for the vigilante thing. You're not planet-crackingly powerful, it's just that you can hear, in detail, every awful thing your neighbors are doing to each other, every night that they're doing it. You can't not know and you can't pretend not to know and when the kid tells you the next day that he just fell down the stairs you can't fall back on the provided ambiguity to absolve yourself of your responsibility to act. Semi-relatedly, you're really really good at martial arts. Start the clock
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obsessed with the idea of shang qinghua having an “author’s halo” but being completely unaware of it
like whenever shen qingqiu or anyone else asks him for something and he doesn’t know the actual answer he’ll just make up some bullshit on the spot and what do you know, that really turned out to be the right answer!!! he’s so lucky!!! but in reality the world is rewriting itself so it can never contradict the god who made it
and not only does the world bend to his whims, he’s also completely immune to death. he, luo binghe, shen qingqiu, and mobei-jun will be exploring some ruins filled with booby traps or something. lbh, sqq, and mbj will be fighting for their lives to get through the traps meanwhile shang qinghua just walks through while eating his melon seeds and the traps just narrowly miss hitting him like he’s a cartoon character, and then he turns around and sees his buddies all exhausted and wounded from the traps and he’s just like “huh??? what’s up w you guys haha you’re so clumsy”
sqq and lbh are furious that this dude holds the power of the universe in his hands and doesn’t realize it. mbj thinks it’s the sexiest thing ever
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