offly-official - Tumblr blog

[offly-official]

the cinematic migraine experience of spending the entire day like “why do i feel so bad so Suddenly what the fuck Triggered This what did i DO” and then hearing an ominous clap of thunder. and being like. ah. barometric pressure

[offly-official]

never change, tumblr. never fucking change.

original post: X

[offly-official]

the gay & wondrous life of wallace wells

im sure someones done this b4 but i simply could not resist

[offly-official]

[offly-official]

Lactose: e-excuse me...

Stomach: hey, what do we have here? Some goddamned lactose!

Small intestine: we don't like lactose here, ya know? You're gatecrashing a very private party!

Large intestine: (pushes him, making him stumble) there's two ways you can leave here... The easy way, or the hard way. What's it gonna be?

Lactose: but I...

Lactase: (deep voice) step back, everyone. (walks up and puts his arm around lactose's shoulders) he's with *me*

Large intestine: lactase?!

Small intestine: b-but you're both...

Lactase: I *said* he's with me. You got a problem with that?

Stomach: (finishes sizing him up) right. Course not. It's cool, lactose. Just don't cause any *problems*, you hear?

Lactose: I-I w-

Lactase: you don't have to answer that, babe. Just keep walking

[offly-official]

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

[offly-official]

always sad how much chinese food has to advertise itself as no msg because of basically a racist misinformation campaign. bring back the msg i unironically want it. i want it to taste good. i would go to a place that proudly advertised its use of msg no fucking problem

[offly-official]

Guy who learns kung fu, then realizes kung fu can be defeated by MMA so he learns that, then realizes MMA can be defeated by guns so he buys one, then realizes that guns can be defeated by law enforcement so he becomes a lawyer, then realizes that the law can be overthrown so he becomes a paramilitary general, then realizes that naked force can be enveloped by ideology so he becomes a religious leader, then realizes that ideology is primarily determined by the means of production so he becomes an inventor, then realizes that successful invention requires a finely honed mind so he becomes a psychologist, then realizes that the mind is just part of the body so he learns kung fu

[offly-official]

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

[offly-official]

kids these days don’t know how lethal stagnant water is

[offly-official]

[offly-official]

hi if ur unaware georgia 🇬🇪 (where i live) has officially banned gay marriage, gay ‘propaganda’, gender reassignment surgery and anything ’promoting’ it. a trans model, kesaria abramidze, has been murdered as a direct consequence of this legislation. if you have a queer georgian in your life pls let them know they are loved and let this solidify why we Need pride and hope cause jesus fuck man

[offly-official]

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

NIPPLE LIGHT

[offly-official]

they're gonna violate food safety standards we've never even heard of

[offly-official]

A frustrating part of the mainstream vegan “love all animals and protect the environment” mindset is the fact that things need to die in real-life ecology all the time but deer hunting season makes icky feelings and carp culls aren’t cottagecore

[offly-official]

No portal incident AU I love you, please take me back

Here's a fic (that you should read) that I love that made me remember the love I had for this AU btw:

by the skin of your teeth

[offly-official]

Centaur Watching Fish by Arnold Böcklin (1878).

I love love love Böcklin’s mythical pieces, they have this sense of realism, and often even sensitivity.