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definitive ranking of Tortall love interests

oh boy. i loved the Tortall books as a kid and i am having a blast on my reread, but one thing that I almost uniformly dislike about them is their romance plots. it’s the rare Tortall love interest who isn’t creepy in some way, much older than the protagonist, or just plain boring. so to go along with my ranking, each dude will get a ranking on a Creep Scale (0-10, with 0 being a normal nice dude and 10 being a huge creep), and an Interest Index (10 being extremely charming and interesting and 0 being more boring than a rock). without further ado, the ranking:

8: liam ironarm: just, the Absolute bottom of the barrel. I can only assume he must have been extremely hot and an extremely good fighter for alanna to be even remotely interested in getting past his condescension and infantilization toward her. dude, she’s the lioness, not your “kitten.” ugh. Creep Scale: 9. Interest Index: 8 (he is the Shang Dragon)

7: numair salmalin: the duality of man: charming, intelligent, an unmatched mage, based on Jeff Goldblum, probably slept with the emperor of carthak–but also thought it was cool to date his teenage student when he was literally twice her age. gross! someone on this site once said “it wasn’t his fault, he’s a victim of tammy’s teacher kink” and i haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Creep Scale: STRONG 10. Interest Index: also 10. duality of man indeed.

6: cleon of kennan: now, here’s the thing. there’s nothing WRONG with cleon. he’s nice, he’s a good knight, whatever. but from a narrative perspective, he’s just so extremely dull. on the other hand, I guess that makes him the perfect dude for kel to imprint on before she realizes romance isn’t for her. Creep Scale: 0. Interest Index: 3.

5: jonathan of conte: hm. jonathan is so hard to rank because he’s a solid friend when he’s not having his WWRLaM-era breakdown, but honestly I don’t think he’s ever a good love interest. he can’t wrap his head around the fact that alanna is both alanna his girlfriend AND alan his comrade, and seems to treat her like two different people depending on whether she’s in battle or in his bed. Creep Scale: 5 for the WWRLaM-era breakdown and being a colonizer (er, excuse me, Voice). Interest Index: 9 for being a prince and a good friend

4: dale rowan: if you’re going to have a first fling, you could do a lot worse than dale. he’s funny, he’s charming, he’s upfront about the fact that this won’t be a serious relationship, but he’s loyal as long as he’s with you. a solid dude and canonically good in bed. Creep Scale: 0. Interest Index: 7.

3: george cooper: a roguish thief character who’s still an almost weirdly honorable man? immediately imprints on “alan” and jon and vows to protect them? encourages alanna to be nothing less than herself? grows up to be a good dad? near perfection. 12-year-old me was smitten. Creep Scale: 3.5 for the age gap. Interest Index: 10.

2: nawat crow: pros: is literally a crow spirit. cons: is literally a crow spirit. pretty cool, pretty weird, and he definitely treats Aly right. top marks. Creep Scale: 1, but only because crows don’t know about things like human boundaries so it took him a hot sec to be normal. Interest Index: 9 (he’s a crow spirit!)

1: farmer cooper: [griffin mcelroy voice] now THERE’S a boy I can get into. himbo-passing by choice but funny, smart, and a great self-taught embroidery mage by nature, farmer cooper is hands down the best Tortall love interest. he respects beka, he braids her hair for her, he took her name when they married, he kissed her for the first time in a dungeon while they faced death–what more could you want? Creep Scale: -100. Interest Index: 9.

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sword flirting

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One of my favorite things about rereading Protector of the Small is when the older generation of knights look at Kel’s sparrows and Jump and always say, “Pets? We weren’t allowed them in my day.” Like Alanna didn’t have an entire cat that followed her to all her classes.

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I’m on a massive Tamora Pierce streak but at the Risk of combining universes…. I am so 1000% sure that George Cooper, the 17 year old King of Thieves and head of the Court of the Rogue who cut off people’s ears to show who’s boss is an ancestor of Kaz Brekker, the 17 year old Bastard of the Barrel who on occaision engages in a bit of eye-gouging

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POTS edition

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I just realized why Beka cooper is so fundamentally apart of who I was growing up. And why I look back to her for nostalgia and purpose. ‘Terrier’ was published in 2007. So 15 yr old Kristin meet 17 yr old Beka, and I fell immediately in love with her. We had both been ‘half-adults’, trying to figure out our footing and where we reside in society. Both of us having those ‘fish-puppy’ moments. But by the time that ‘mastiff’ was released, it was 2011. I had graduated high school, was 19 and starting my first semester of collage. Beka was now 21. We were both now considered fully ‘adults’ in our worlds.

So when The Thing happened, I was devastated. He reminded me of my own big sister and hurt so much that I ended up hiding the series at the bottom of my bookshelf in my old room. I couldn’t look at them. And it wasn’t till I was home again after college, packing everything that I thought I would need to fully move out that I found them again. I was 23 then, now ‘older’ then Beka.

So I reread them. And as I followed Beka thru her puppy year and beyond, I saw myself. The insanely shy 15 year old trying to negative a new school. The 17 year old that tried her best to steer clear of drama but always found herself in the middle of it. The resolute 19 yr old in the whole new world of college and being on her own for first time.

I may have not have found Cole mongers and kidnappers of young princes but I had faced my fears and insecurities. I saw it as a direct relation of my own life. And it wasn’t till this most recent reread, at 28, that I really saw that big picture for what it was. That Beka was my adolescence, my teen years. She shaped who I am as a person. And how I react to the would around me.

And I don’t think I could have found a better character to bare those years with.

So thank you @tamorapierce for bringing Beka into this world. And to Mrs. Patty, my middle school librarian for introducing me when you did.

I don’t know who I would be today with out her.

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when you've made like three posts and you're a "top tamora pierce tumblr"

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Goldenlake Triathlon

The Goldenlake Triathlon is about to start - come join us! What The Goldenlake Triathlon is a fanfiction challenge in which authors attempt to complete a triathlon of three fic events for their chosen character, with options of summer and/or winter events. When Triathlon starts: Wednesday, 1 July Triathlon closes: Monday, 31 August Where The Events forum. How 1. Claim a character. 2. Post your attempt in the masterlist. 3. Complete the event of your choice by posting in the events forum and updating the attempt sheet as you go. 4. Once you have completed your event set, post in the ‘Finish Line’ thread and get congratulated. 5. Start again at #1 or go and complete the set for the other season! Prompts One fic from each set must be exactly 100 or 200 words, and one fic from each set must be over 500 words - it’s up to you which ones! Fun in the Sun 1. A Change is As Good As a Rest 2. With a Little Help from My Friends 3. Making a Splash Wicked in Winter 1. A Chill in the Air 2. Spice Up Your Life 3. The Gift that Keeps Giving

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My intention isn’t to BOSS people around. But people who don’t create on tumblr really have to understand that if creators stop posting here, you won’t have anything else to like but maybe memes. If you want content to circle around to your dashboard… you have to pay it forward and reblog. That is why this website is dying. The Ban is not the only reason.

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Was thinking on the drive in to work about Raoul of Goldenlake and his change between Alanna’s series and Kel’s. I’ve made another post about it because he is one of my favorite characters and I think about him a lot. As someone who has struggled with drinking in the past, I’m specifically always interested in how he doesn’t drink as an adult. I’m rereading Kel’s series and when Raoul says Joren probably won’t pass the ordeal…

“There are ways to discourage someone who is unfit. And often you’re doing them a favor. The Chamber is…” He fell silent, shadows in his eyes, though he continued to stitch. “Hard,” he said at last. “It’s not that it’s merciless. To have mercy or lack it, you need humanity. The Chamber hasn’t got it.”

I’m not sure when or where she revealed this, but in Raoul’s wiki there’s an annotation saying “Tamora Pierce reveals that he quit drinking after a riding accident that resulted in the death of his favorite horse and the injuries of a family of Players.”

But I wonder if the chamber gave him consequences to his drinking as one of his fears. Him being drunk and at a party and unable to help when needed, something similar to what (apparently canonically) happened where him being drunk caused an accident, or even what his life would be like if he was injured/unable to work as a knight and just drank the rest of his life away because he was so dependent on using alcohol to “manage” his emotions.

I know in one of Alanna’s books Raoul’s squire(?) shoves a drink into his hand to keep him from fighting someone. Which argues that if the chamber did make Raoul experience those potentials he rejected the warning… But… Idk, I think that idea that he had forewarning and messed up anyway makes it even more compelling to me, because when we see him again as an adult he is so put together and fully formed and functional.

Maybe I just like giving characters angst.

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definitely! that series benefits from rereads just because it is written so differently from her other works

I think why a lot of people don't like Bela/Farmer is that they don't notice how their relationship is built up. The journal format lets us into Beka's head but that means we really don't fully realize how little she reveals to other people. When she talks to Farmer, the prose doesn't dramatically change from when she's just thinking. She's comfortable enough to be her full self.

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kel

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beka

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this was so good and i love beka and farmer so much! highly recommend!  

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Alanna The Lioness

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I’ve got three potential scenarios for the Lady Knight Kalasin AU, because LET THE GIRLS NOT BE ALONE IN THEIR FIGHT, please.

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