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We looked inside some of the posts by ohedgy-blog and here's what we found interesting.
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Fuck Anxiety
Anxiety, like other mental disorders can be completely draining. In case those who don’t know but anxiety is a nervous disorder that if not treated can mentally disable you; or to keep it more PC, can completely fuck your whole shit up. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder about 4 years ago. I was told it stranded from depression which I found off because at the time I didn’t feel nor did I want to identify as someone who suffered from depression. I had a job, air in my lungs and good people around me so I didn’t know what this all meant and why I was experiencing this. My first anxiety “attack” if you will, happened at my job. I felt short of breath, my palms were sweaty and I felt dizzy when I was entering the school cafeteria. One would think in my line of work anyone would get anxious. Walking into a room of loud obnoxious pre teens all talking at above normal tones and completely pissing you off will do that to you but I knew it was more than just that. Once I finally spoke to my doctor and explained my symptoms, that at this point had been reoccurring, he told me I was suffering from anxiety and that it’s nothing out of this world. I knew it wasn’t life threatening but to me it did seem out of this world. I felt worried all the time and uneasy, and at times paranoid. I hated those feelings and for the life of me couldn’t understand why they kept happening. Thinking about anxiety gave me anxiety. All I wanted to do was sleep and when I finally got the chance I couldn’t. I lost sleep for days and even weeks on end. That shit was literally crippling me. I started becoming a hermit and stayed to myself. I as so in denial but deep down knew something was wrong. I overthought situations into bad scenarios and convinced myself they would happen the way I imagined. On everything I felt like I was going insane. After months of playing it coy and fake smiling in people’s faces j finally decided I needed help. Mind you, I’m stubborn as fuck so the whole “the first step is admitting you have a problem” seemed stupid until I finally got out of my own way and admitted it. I talked to my doctor and he finally prescribed me meds. I told and promised myself I would never allow myself to become dependent of them and to this day I thank God I haven’t been. I’ve learned to handle my anxiety a lot better now. I have mini rituals I do when I feel the anxiousness creeping in and 9/10 it works and when it doesn’t? Well, it’s obviously not such a good day lol. I wrote this post honestly not for sympathy or attention but to shed light on what a lot of people suffer from and choose to ignore it. Trust me, I tried and this shit won but over the years I’ve gained control so it’s not so bad. It helps to ask questions and to talk to someone when you feel like something might be wrong. I was afraid to until I felt I couldn’t manage anymore and I’m glad I did. Sometimes people hide from what they know might be the truth and try to convince themselves that it’s all in their mind. It is. But let me tell you, your mind is a scary fucking place if you let run wild. Let someone know because no one deserves to walk around feeling fearful in world of dopeness.
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Arthur Gosse at Balmain S/S 2016 by Yann Bean
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She said...
I use to be in love with a poem called ‘Love Song’ in high school. I used to plead for it to be read to me at night along with other pieces written by a heart that then never knew what hurt was. In fact, it was a heart that longed for the things it wrote on paper. Unfortunately, as years passed, that heart grew older and had been withered by betrayal and lies and as most things do when faced with such strain it became cold and aggravated. Now the things it once wrote about, became things it feared and wanted no parts of. Hurt came easy so therefore that’s what it returned. Back then I heard the words and melted in hopes I would one day find a love as amazing as the one written but sadly I forgot to read between the lines. The poem was written before its first heartbreak and now it’s just equivalent to a romantic tragedy. Now, the person who once begged to hear this poem over and over wishes words that heart shaking and beautiful would have never been written.
And most of all, I wish they would have never been written by you.
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Daughter tells her Dad he’s going to be a Grandpa [x]
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