ohwowwirisb

[ohwowwirisb]

Vitamin K

Whenever I am not talking to you, I feel weak. Funny, I miss you. I remember your smiling face. You have a really nice smile. I'm happy when you're happy. Whoever that is that made you happy. I have a little wish I was one of those who make you smile.

I'm sorry, I appear weak to you. I wanted you to see my good side but my mental well-being was not that good. You have been such a good listener to me. . Even letting me tell you about how I feel about my past which I wanted to forget.

I don't know what we are doing but I'm really grateful and appreciative of whatever you are doing for me. I want to meet you so bad and hug you. I like you alot.

[ohwowwirisb]

Hurt

That's the Big word I felt when you didn't even talk to me. You kept playing music of all sorts which was noisy. . But this actually calm me down. I couldn't breathe properly that time.

When the call ended, I asked if you were okay. You just laughed. Told me we could talk tomorrow cause it's morning and you have someone else you're chatting with.

I wasn't jealous of that.

I was hurt because you did not bother talking over the phone where you were the one who called me. Now, I am angry at how I feel. I cried.

I gave you power to hurt me and it hurts.

Why? I don't understand this feeling for you. This is a crazy attachment! I want to put an end to it before I fall for it.

[ohwowwirisb]

NO CONTACT

Blocked Everywhere EXCEPT --

I had gone No contact since May 14 but yesterday, he said " I'll talk to you". Like the demanding entitled person that he is, he continued to say, " CALL ME".

When I read it, I contemplated whether calling is good for me or not. In my mind, I wanted to know what he was going to say so I did something stupid like calling.

No one responded. I knew he has work. So why did he ask to call me?

He wants validation. That I will always be there no matter how bad he treated me. This is an understatement..

You will know in the next posts.

I'm trauma bonded.

[ohwowwirisb]

1 yr and 8 months Only

We broke up for the nth time. It's enough for me to leave finally. Each break up is worse than the other. I find myself traumatized by what you were doing to me. It was a rollercoaster kind of relationship. What's unique is that I fell for a Narcissist.

Story to follow.

#narcissisticrelationship #breakup

[ohwowwirisb]

I’m tired.. so I will sleep at 8pm.

[ohwowwirisb]

Words that I appreciate coming from him:

“Ikaw ang pahinga ko. Talking to you is like resting” after I said, are you not tired or sleepy?

“Why would I be sleepy if I’m talking to the woman I love?” That’s at 2 am calls.

“I’m going crazy here. I miss you.” Early morning call.

“Mas mahal Kita” after I said I love you too. I could not compete with your “more and more” because I think you like it na you love me more.

“I miss you more. Mas miss kita” Idk if gsto mo lang ikaw ang final say. I’ll let you be.

“Love?” This always makes me happy coz you’re looking for me or attention when I don’t reply immediately.

What else?

This love song is for you.. “Yun Ka” 😅 I know right? He’s cheesy pero I find it sweet haha idk I just laughed but the lyrics hit hard when he sang to me. .Ahh “Ako pala” 😁🥰

[ohwowwirisb]

Sometimes, Talking to you sounds like talking to a professor. Oh right, you were ex prof. 😅 I like you and your brain. I love you and your mind. I can’t get enough of you. You are indeed different.

I didn’t get it when you said that I occupy your mind until I keep missing you yesterday because you have occupied mine as well.

[ohwowwirisb]

I’m scared.

If loving someone this early and having this kind of relationship with him makes me happy and miss him every single time, I’d choose him always. Never have I thought that I will feel this way about someone again. I’m scared because I love him. I’m scared because he says he loves me more. I’m getting scared about how things will unfold everyday.

I told myself to just chill.

[ohwowwirisb]

At 4 Am, I woke up to my busy mind thinking about you again.

The day before, you communicated with me after two weeks interval which you usually do. I realized you’re someone who’s insensitive to even take responsibility of your actions and words. I thought age would make Men mature but apparently, it’s not the case for you.

I understand that you do not find us ready for any commitment. I agree naman. I never wanted to force that on whatever we had. I guess I just wish you didn’t have to be a jerk about it. I have feelings too regardless of the way I responded to you. It was something out of feeling that I like you. I guess maybe on that part it’s debatable.

Do I like you as a whole or Do I like the idea of you?

It doesn’t matter if you ask me “Nawalan ka ng gana sa akin” Whether I have feelings or not; If I want to see you or not; If I want to be with you or not; It doesn’t matter because you don’t care. That’s how I see it.

You’re not even sorry about the way you acted hot and cold towards me. Am I just supposed to accept this behavior from you? No!

Para saan pa ang nangangamusta ka every two weeks?

[ohwowwirisb]

My Nephew’s new toy from Jabee

Goodnight Everyone

[ohwowwirisb]

The clarity that you wanted is the one that you ignored. Red is red, green is green. Don’t mix and change.

[ohwowwirisb]

Have you got any idea how it feels when your father understands why you’re the way you are now? How down you got in the past and how you need to get yourself lifted up from the dirt that you stumbled upon.

He spoke of wisdom to me and my heart broke because I thought no one understands how it felt. I realized, people were considerate with my feelings. I got lost for a long time. I don’t even know how to start.

I want to be in the right direction and pursue something good in my life and maybe, just maybe I’ll be happier and contented.

[ohwowwirisb]

Be kind and give more love.

[ohwowwirisb]

I was asked what my instinct is.

I think maybe he has someone although he says he is single.

Plain and simple although he has already said something sweet or even held my hands or that we shared hugs or that kiss.

Not too biased but he’s not even communicating well after a week.

So what instinct should I follow: To fight it or go flight?

When you know the answer but you refuse to acknowledge it, silly girl. You want to get hurt?

[ohwowwirisb]

Sometimes the most embarrassing thing to ask is the most important thing to know to survive.

So what if you want clarity?

So what if it bothers you?

You have the right to know. Pero it was really the first time I feel like confronting someone because I was losing sleep and I didn’t get any answer from my dreams.

[ohwowwirisb]

If it was inconsistent in week 4, what makes you think this person will be in week 12?

[ohwowwirisb]

Master your mind so that you don’t have to ruin your day with just a single thought.