oldpennyblogwasd - Tumblr blog

oldpennyblogwasd · 1 year

Text

As Weiss opened her eyes, she was greeted by an ever-more familiar sight. The gentle glow of the morning sun shimmered along the ceiling, rolling and waving through the shadow of an old oak just outside the window gently shaking with the breeze. She could faintly make out the smell of sizzling bacon in the air, and faint voices echoing through the house. Even still, it was quiet in her and Blake’s room, save for the rustling of her blankets as she slowly rose.

Even a week and a day after moving in, Weiss’s mattress still sat directly upon the wooden floor, askew and alone in the corner of her room. Blake’s side of the room was worse off, a half-dozen cardboard boxes of their belongings messily scattered. Weiss was thankful that she hadn’t had any personal belongings she cared to bring with her from Los Angeles, aside from what she’d need for school and—

And for Vytal Fight.

“Ah.”

She shakily stood from her mattress, the aches and pains of the previous night’s game slowly creeping in. She carefully walked over to the full-body mirror Blake had on their side of the room. At the sight of herself, she sighed.

Her hair was a tangled mess, and her face hadn’t fared much better. A light bruise had formed on her upper cheek near to her ear, a painful reminder of the fierce slap she’d taken. The exact details of the injury were difficult to make out. Half of her vision was blurry, and despite her efforts, she couldn’t focus it. She tried blinking to rid herself of the blur, but all it did was sting.

The doctor said she’d been lucky, that if Cinder had struck even a fraction of an inch closer Weiss would’ve lost her vision permanently. That she had made it out with only a scratched cornea and two deep cuts was ‘better than the worst she could’ve done,’ according to Velvet, but it scarcely felt like it. Weiss had never considered herself a vain person, all-in-all. The makeup, clothing and careful crafting of appearance was always a requirement of being a Schnee, not of being herself. Still, that she would carry this scar with her for the rest of her life? This scar that she’d received from her?

It was more disheartening than infuriating. At the same time, though, it almost felt more… honest, that she should carry a scar with her. It just made more sense.

Mm.

She carefully peeled off the dirtied bandages along her cheek and eyebrow and tossed them into the little black trash can beside the mirror. The bandage on her palm was a little more painful to remove, but she did it all the same, wincing through it. She walked back to her mattress and kneeled to open her bag, extracting from it a box full of fresh bandages. As she tried to open the paper packages they were individually wrapped in, a drop of blood fell onto the hoodie she wore. The red soaked into the black fabric, turning the shade askew. She hurriedly grabbed a paper towel from her bag and dabbed at the wound. It seemed she still bled some, despite the stitches.

Frustration at the inconveniences brewing, she walked back to the mirror and finally reapplied the bandages. Upon looking at the hoodie, though, she sighed. It was two sizes too large and had a cartoon bunny on the front. She was thankful Jaune had lended it to her seeing as her dress had been rendered quite unpresentable, but cleaning it and getting the blood out before she returned it would be yet another thing to worry about. She’d never really had to wash her own clothes back home. The maids always took care of it. While she wasn’t opposed to learning, she couldn’t even begin to guess where to start and could only hope that one of her teammates knew how to go about it. Maybe Ruby—

Oh. The hairs on Weiss’s arms stood up straight as a warmth engulfed her face. She buried herself in her hands, hiding her blush only from herself.

“Oh, god, Weiss… what are we doing?” She whispered to herself.

She leaned forward and touched her forehead to the cold mirror, cursing under her breath as she recalled the most terrifying event from the previous night.

She’d told Ruby her feelings.

After the match, but before the fight, as the fireworks were blasting and the audience was blaring… well, the excitement and adrenaline had gotten to her. When she stared into Ruby’s eyes in that moment of bliss, she just couldn’t help herself.

Ugh, what was it I even said? Weiss looked into her own eyes, so close as they were in the mirror, and tried to recall the words. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I don’t know why.

A chill ran down her spine. It wasn’t a confession, but that didn’t make it feel any less intimate. She wondered how on Earth she would explain it if Ruby asked, but, would she even remember? Besides…

…does it even matter, now?

She sighed. The mirror fogged up in response, turning her face into a pale blur. She pulled her forehead away from the glass before walking back to her mattress and ungracefully falling into it. Seeking anything to distract her, to ground her from falling too deep into her own head, she grabbed her pillow and held it tightly to her chest. It didn’t work. The uncertainties of everything still haunted her, with one particular question weighing her down more than any other.

How could I possibly help Ruby?

For what felt like the dozenth time, Weiss buckled under the weight of having lived a sheltered existence. She didn’t know the words to calm Ruby, to reassure her that she didn’t care she was…

…was what, exactly?

Weiss immediately came to a few solid conclusions: Teammate, friend, fascination. She’d held no doubts on those fronts any longer, but Ruby was more than that, too. She was an entire person, with an entire life, and Weiss had only the smallest sliver of insight into it. She’d been so preoccupied with preparations for that ridiculous match that she hadn’t even asked Ruby the most basic questions about herself. She hadn’t even realized Ruby was… well, like Penny, it seemed. She was the only point of reference Weiss had, but she knew even less about her.

She didn’t know what to think, nor did she know where to even begin. The general idea was understandable enough, but there was so much about it that eluded her; Why someone would want to switch genders, how one was supposed to act around them, how they even did it. The last was of particular interest. Penny seemed a little scruffy, but Ruby was so… not. The image of rubbing Ruby’s back flashed across Weiss’s mind, and a warmth once again crossed her cheeks.

At least I’m not a lesbian, Weiss mused to herself.

…wait. Is that how that works?

She pursed her lips and looked towards the ceiling. Too many uncertainties, too many big and scary questions. Blegh.

The pit which slowly began to form in her stomach grew deeper. In response, she set her jaw. Her mattress suddenly felt a little less comfortable, and her thoughts became a little more structured.

We need a game plan. She had to be better for Ruby. She had to be there for her, and she couldn’t stay in the dark on it all. If an abundance of questions was her first obstacle towards that goal, then she’d simply have to find the answers.

She tossed her pillow to the side and reached over to her bag, pulled out a silver aluminum laptop, unfolded it and opened Safari. I’ll just google it.

WWW.GOOGLE.COM SEARCH: _______________

Her text cursor blinked idly as she pondered the surprisingly difficult question of what exactly she needed to look up. The words escaped her, and she didn’t quite know where to begin. All she could do was try.

WWW.GOOGLE.COM SEARCH: BECOMING A GIRL About 2,400,000 Results (3.1 Seconds) AdriennesGuide.com - From Girl to Woman, How To Survive Adolescence KansasCityClinic.org - Everything You Need To Know About Puberty Youtube.com - Top 10 Magical Girl Transformations Susie.org - What Do I Do If I’m A Boy, But Wish I Was A Girl?

She clicked the fourth result, and a wall of text appeared. Weiss traced along each and every word, trying to wrap her head around it all as well as she could. She noticed something, though, in that some of it sounded strangely familiar. Where had she…?

Ah. Calavera’s. Ruby’s words stuck with Weiss like glue, quietly traveling along with her all this time.

“You feel like no one gets you, right? Like they don’t even try to. You go through your life trying to be as happy as you can, where you can, but then these stupid societal expectations get put on you by everyone. Even by the people who supposedly love you. They say you’re supposed to just grin and bear it, but every day you get more and more angry because you feel like if they'd just listen to you and let you explain, from the bottom of your heart…”

“Then they’d understand.” Weiss softly repeated her own words. She closed her eyes and gently sighed. “Oh, Ruby….” The air felt still as Weiss blankly stared at the screen, that same familiar feeling in her chest pulsing, the pit deepening. In that second, she wanted nothing in the world more than to hold Ruby once again, as closely as she could. It was the only thing she could think to do.

Her search was interrupted as the door creaked open.

#I'll be back from vacation with the rest of this chapter before too long!#Thanks for understanding

0 notes