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[olesyarostova]

                                            WHO ARE YOU?

                                         an olesya rostova playlist | noche task two

001. goddess by banks      002. leaving tonight by the neighbourhood      003. half by pvris      004. like that by bea miller      005. real life by the weeknd      006. lung by vancouver sleep clinic      007. the beach by the neighbourhood      008. you should see me in a crown by billie eilish      009. hurricane by fleurie      010. muddy waters by lp      011. dancer in the dark by chase atlantic      012. saints by echos      013. nobody’s home by avril lavigne      014. lovely by billie eilish & khalid      015. paint it, black by ciara      016. paradise circus by massive attack      017. play with fire by sam tinnesz & yacht money      018. a little wicked by valerie broussard      019. $ting by the neighbourhood      020. trouble by valeria broussard      021. dust & gold by arrows to athens

                                                       LISTEN

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Shrimp ( 2018 )

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It’s currently Christmas Day for me, and I know that the majority are still on Christmas Eve but!! I just wanted to say that if you celebrate, I hope you have a Merry Christmas!! And if you don’t, I hope you have a relaxing day! I’m so happy I’ve gotten to know most of you, you all deserve the world 💕💕💕

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Suddenly I wonder, ‘Where is the girl that I was last year? Two years go? What would she think of me now?’

Sylvia Plath (via alpharesco)

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━━  VASILY.

                ❝ your favorite anything sounds like dangerous position to occupy, rostova, ❞ he parried, meaning the words harmlessly to match her tease, but he also knew how the remark could be taken. he just didn’t know in that moment how prophetic those words would tragically come to be.  it was always a conscious choice to remind her upon greeting that if she had something to hide, she’d better get to hiding. noting the sweeping of her gaze and that ever-present smirk, vasily found it curious that he’d never really bothered to feel one way or another about his looks until her. he found himself enjoying the compliment of her gaze, basking in it even if only faintly. he wasn’t sure if he liked that realization, however. given how his instincts were telling him something was amiss here. a brow arched up at her second tease of the night. she was feeling playful tonight, wasn’t she ? well, she had made it clear that she didn’t want her night soured by talk of nadya’s kidnapping so he supposed he’d buy that she truly was just here to distance herself from the search for a bit. just like him. that made it easier to concede a bit of his guard, but if any more was wanted it would need to be earned. that was just tragically the isolating way of the man. there was so little of him left to protect ━ some would argue even that was eclipsed by all of his transgressions in this life and that was fair enough ━ but what little he’d managed to salvage from the wreckage of his spirit he’d encased in a fortress when he was a child and it hadn’t been touched since. it was always going to be this way with him. a challenge, but judging by how he could read genuine enjoyment of his presence at the moment, he thought that she was thinking she was up for such a thing. ❝ and you know better, do you ? ah, вот так, you know exactly what i am capable of. my mistake.  ❞ sarcasm lacing his words, the corners of his lips finally curved up into a small grin. rare, but increasingly not so rare around the brunette beauty. he hadn’t yet set aside the time to dwell on that. he did, however, enjoy his own statement enough to smile at it. she didn’t know what he was capable of, not truly, and she’d been spending her time since she’d met him trying to chip away at his armor with varying degrees of success. she didn’t know him ( no one did except for the man who’d made him ), but she was having her fun trying. gesturing down towards the empty seat across from hers with the hand holding his drink, his features relaxed into something more neutral. ❝ do you mind if i sit ? ❞ he figured he knew the answer, but there was respect for her rank and respect for her own privacy should she so choose to invoke that right.

               what could she say, he wasn’t wrong. it was easy to allow the double meaning of his words to slide past, because even if there wasn’t an ulterior motive lurking behind every relationship she made, mundane anything was far from something that had ever interested her. even in her ‘previous’ life. a single shoulder pulled upwards as her fingers curled around her glass, bringing it to her lips where it stilled for a moment, millimetres from her lips. ❝ oh—definitley. but where’s the fun in playing things safe? a little danger never killed anyone now has it ? ❞ the smirk upon her lips only grew more impish with every word that left her lips and even as she finally allowed the smooth contents of her glass to pass her lips, her eyes that stayed transfixed upon him glinted with the same devilish expression. however, as sarcasm dripped from his lips, her eyes brightening with amusement, and the curve of her lips softened into a genuine smile. who knew he had it in him, there’d been previous moments where she’d discovered there was more to the man then the stoic disposition he allowed the world to see, but every time the corners of his lips curved was always like it was the first time she’d seen his features lightened, even slightly, by even the smallest of smiles. the sheer delight in knowing she was capable of even being the smallest reason behind that smile was enough for anyone to question what really lurked underneath the reason she put that fulfilment back to—breaking his usual inscrutable features was always the first step. her eyes cast downwards towards the table as a gentle laugh shook her shoulders and pulled her head in a sideways motion. she wished she knew exactly what he was capable of. both in his personal life and in his dealings with the volkov’s and in turn, the bratva. she may have some idea about what the latter entailed, though to the extent of what he’d done for them—that was still the million dollar question—but when it came to his personal life, as far as she was concerned, he could very easily not have one. his whole life seemed to revolve around the volkov’s. tonight was one of the few very, if not the only time, she’d seen him outside of the role he played so well for the volkov’s. ❝ i know some things you are capable of. ❞ she started as a strand of loose hair was flicked away from her eyes as they were lifted upwards once more, ❝ fun, however, is one of the things that has eluded me when it comes to you. workaholic doesn’t even begin to describe you, morosov. i am, however, beginning to think that maybe i’m the one mistaken—i’m not taking any bets quite yet though. i’m going to need a little more convincing.❞ at his gesture, olesya’s eyes glanced towards the empty chair. most would have sat down already. taken the empty seat as an open invitation no matter whether or not she’d even wanted the company and she doubted she would have even thought twice about it. at least not when it was him claiming the seat. instead, she thought twice about a simple question. it caused her to hesitate for a moment, her eyes subtly switching between him and the chair. she’d become so accustomed to people taking whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, with no regard for anyone but themselves that any sense of manners felt out of place. they felt wrong in such a place as the one they found themselves within, a place that was so full of immoral acts that not even god themselves would be able to rectify it. but no matter how out of place it felt, it was a welcomed change. whatever his reasoning, olesya was given control. something she liked to imagine she had in most situation, but in reality it was hardly something she ever truly felt. finally, a hand came to gesture towards the empty seat, ❝ feel free—it’s all yours if you want it. promise not to empty my glass in your face for it. ❞

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━━  NINA.

She normally did not interrupt guests’ conversations, nor did she enjoy being in the limelight all of the time. Nina was no superstar, she was a Casino manager – she worked behind the curtains to ensure everything went perfectly. And despite Nadya Volkova’s disappearance and the messy ordeal with the Anonymous Association, the Casino seemed to be coming back to life once more. As it should be, the show must always go on.

Seeing as one of her familiar clients were bothered by a certain presence, she was fast to contact one of her guards through the intel system, calling him over as she approached her client, politely, but firmly so. “Excuse me–” she paused, with a smile, “is everything… As good as it should be around here?” Nina inquired, gesturing towards both of them. “If there’s any trouble, I can surely have my security guard escort them out of here for you.”

It could have been somewhat amusing watching and listening to the other trip over themselves to attempt to sway her into what Olesya could only imagine would be a night of disappointment and regret, if she hadn’t made it abundantly clear that their hopes for the night were not about to come true more than enough times for the message to plant itself in even the thickest of brains. There was no denying Olesya was more than capable of handling the situation on her own, but as Nina appeared offering up a way to rid herself of the leech. She wasn’t about to pass it up, especially if it meant seeing him escorted from the building.

Olesya’s eyes lingered upon the annoyance causing a headache to start to linger, and just as they were about to speak, reassure the manager there was nothing a miss no doubt, Olesya’s lips parted and she turned in her seat to focus upon Nina. “It seems as if no one has been taught what the word no means, apparently I need to stop playing hard to get.” A sigh left her lips as a small tilt of her head was given. “I’d hate to cause a scene,” no she wouldn’t, she’d adore it. she was mere moments away from introducing the problem’s forehead to the surface of the bar top, “but I think it’d be better for everyone if your security guards could handle this little—problem.”

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The Man From U.N.C.L.E. + Text Posts

5 / ?

Gaby Teller special

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━━  ESMAT.

          often, esmat found, people made references that he didn’t understand. he’d heard about the whole repeating things three times situation, but he’d never gone so far as to google where it was from. he smiled briefly in response, if only to go along with her attempt to once again lighten the mood. but the mood wasn’t light, was it? had it ever been? he frowned again, averting his eyes down to the table. 

          “another state,” he corrected, lifting his shoulders in a small shrug without looking up. she should leave. she should be somewhere safe, away from the crowds and away from the mafia, where everyone lived happier lives and nobody had to get hurt. maybe a place like that didn’t really exist, he thought, but at least hawaii had nice beaches and sunshine. not that he actually liked sunshine. anyway. he knew she wouldn’t do that, couldn’t do that, but it’s the thought that counts – it didn’t stop him from trying. “you heard about that girl who was kidnapped, aren’t you at all… scared?”

         if one had been intently focused upon olesya’s features, they may have just been able to catch a hint of her jaw tightening that should have drifted down to straighten her back. putting her on the defense. but no matter how strong the subconscious reaction to the mention of nadya wanted to become, olesya’s control was stronger. the tightness in the way she held her jaw slackened in a blink of an eye—easily passable as a reaction to a not so pleasant subject. who wouldn’t be affected by a girl being kidnapped after all? it had nothing to do with the fact she worked for the girls father or that olesya hadn’t even allowed herself to think about the possibility she had anything to be scared about—at least not when it came to nadya’s kidnapping. was she scared of other things? she didn’t want to go there. 

        “scared?” she repeated before her lips settled together and her weight shifted upon the stool where she sat. there was moment of pause as she threw the idea around in her mind, her finger tapping against the crystal of her glass. what was the best answer? the truth, or at least the closest thing to it, or lie and reply in a way any ‘normal’ person may react in such a situation. olesya’s posture straightened before her eyes focused upon esmat once more, taking a moment to study his profile before her lips parted. “i wouldn’t say scared is the right word. a little uncomfortable maybe. it makes me look over my shoulder a little more than usual, sure, but if i went around thinking about all the horrible things that could happen i’d never leave my apartment. things like this happen every day, every where. most cases just don’t get the same coverage because they’re not the daughter of some las vegas millionaire.” a seriousness washed over her as she spoke. even if it wasn’t the complete truth, she wasn’t at all scared for herself when it came to this particular case, the words she spoke did hold some truth to them.

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You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.

Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (via wordsnquotes)

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gaypee:

forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember

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━━  ESMAT.

          esmat considered himself to be quite proficient at feigning emotions, especially around those he was most uncomfortable being around – some days, that was everyone, and some days it was no one, simply because he didn’t leave his office. unfortunately, olesya was not someone he felt this way about, and he couldn’t control the flash of displeasure on his face at the mention of her boss. on paper she worked in business, but somewhere in a file he kept, she definitely didn’t work in business. every time she mentioned it, which truthfully wasn’t often, he wanted to say something, anything, but always refrained. the more logical side of his brain told him not to, so he didn’t. “i wouldn’t say something like that in this city,” his words were slow, lower than before.

          too serious? maybe. he sipped at his water to calm the nerves that were building inside of him (the same nerves that told him he shouldn’t have been in noche in the first place). he put his figurative mask back on. “you know, olesya,” her name enunciated, “there is business in other places.” he paused, trying to think of literally anywhere else – he was bad at thinking on the spot. “i hear hawaii is nice.”

          she had to do a double take. one minute things had been lighthearted and the next? the tone of his voice had taken a turn olesya would have never imagined. it sounded far too ominous to come from a bookseller. it felt like it’d fit more coming out of a mouth of one of the people she’d been hoping to give a wide berth tonight. las vegas may not have the best reputation, it was sin city after all, but unless you knew the goings on—the comment made it hard to not want to dig into it more. a single brow rose as her head cocked to the side, but no matter how inquisitive her features seemed, she was careful to allow her next words to come out far more fitting towards the lightheartedness of previously spoken words. “i think i have to say it three times for someone to appear and take me out.” a small airy laugh left her lips as her head shook in false disbelief. though no matter how she tried to play it off, olesya knew there was some truth behind his words. which was the main problem.

          though her eyes had dropped to focus upon her glass only seconds ago, they snapped back up towards him. brows this time furrowing as her lips parted before a more genuine laugh followed. “jesus, esmat. it sounds like you’re trying to scare me out of las vegas and want to ship me off. people have told me i’m a little too much at times but suggesting i move to another city? that’s a new one.”

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“Sometimes I think she was a different person to everybody. Sometimes I knew her. Sometimes I didn’t.”

— Linda, Gia (1998)

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━━  ESMAT.

          before the bartender could get away from them, esmat quietly asked for a water – he almost went for coffee, but decided it was far too late into the evening for that to be socially acceptable, although he knew he’d be up all night, anyway. he laughed, just as quietly as always, which wasn’t often at all. “unimaginable? i assure you i’m not that creative. besides, if you really deserved insulting, i’d make sure you could understand.” his laugh turned into an amused hum, and he wedged his lower lip between his teeth – a habit he’d been meaning to break, but no one was ever around to tell him to stop. actually, since the anonymous hit, this was the first time he’d truly ventured out longer than necessary to go from home to his “office”. the stakes were high.

          was he worried about the lack of sleep she was apparently getting? maybe a little. he didn’t have much worry left to spare, especially not while his anxiety was slowly rising the longer he stuck around noche. “rest is a necessary part of survival,” he started, then paused for a moment. he caught the irony of his statement too late. “unfortunately.” was something going on with her other than the stress anonymous had caused to the mafias? should he check her emails again? maybe he was worried.

         the ever present curve of her lips grew as laughter, no matter how quiet, spilled from the other. it was no easy feat being able to bring out even a hint of laughter from certain people, a category olesya had allowed esmat’s name to resign under—though not entirely fitting as he may just be about the only person on the list she didn’t have ulterior motives with—so upon hearing the quiet laugh, it brought with it a lightness to her chest that no amount of alcohol could ever achieve. fingers wrapped around her glass before she raised it slightly in his direction. “i appreciate it. i do rather tend to like to understand what someone’s saying about me, especially if they’re insulting me— for many reasons.” 

         a shake of her head followed his broken sentence as a single shoulder shrugged and she brought the glass to her lips, savouring the taste for a moment before settling it back down. “you can try and tell that to my boss if you’d like. i imagine he doesn’t know the word rest.” a true statement but it was more along the lines of she didn’t know the word rest. she doubted she’d ever felt rested or relaxed since she’d been planted two years ago. rest wasn’t apart of her life and she doubted it ever would be again. “i’ll rest when i’m dead.”