oliapfel

[oliapfel]

"New Yorkers bite more people than sharks annually" is an excellent example of how statistics can be misleading. Like yeah no shit, do you have any idea how rare it is to even encounter a shark in the wild? They're not exactly urban animals. I'm pretty damn sure that if sharks were living in big cities like pigeons, just strolling down the streets looking for food scraps, you'd see a lot more news stories about New Yorkers biting them.

[oliapfel]

baking vids like this make me die laughing every time like I know what will happen before the video finishes but it's just so funny to me

[oliapfel]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[oliapfel]

Getting revenge is fun but tormenting Danny is funnier

[oliapfel]

[oliapfel]

isn't he handsome?

[oliapfel]

I want to own a house and have a garden in the back and a fruit tree in front and I want to tell the neighborhood kids that they can come pick the fruits when they want as long as they leave some for others, and I want to host dinners for friends and make too much food and make everyone go home with some leftovers, and I want to grow vegetables in my garden and beg my neighbors to take all this zucchini off my hands or I'll have to eat zucchini for every meal for the next few months, and I want to give and feed and love but I need more goddamn money first

[oliapfel]

it’s not fucking tinnitus idiot that’s my guardian angel speaking to me

[oliapfel]

[oliapfel]

my drawing setup is so ass

[oliapfel]

[oliapfel]

WHY WERE THERE TWO HOLD ON

Started playing Skyrim again and-

What the fuck?

[oliapfel]

Started playing Skyrim again and-

What the fuck?

[oliapfel]

[oliapfel]

wow i really like this song i think i’m gonna listen to it 1 maybe 60 more times

[oliapfel]

DpxNinjago:

The grandfather clock is seemingly immortal.

The place they are currently staying at gets destroyed? THE CLOCK IS STILL STANDING

No matter how many times Danny beats the clock up? No scratches or scrapes.

And the thing seemingly just follows them when they change bases.

everyone is confused.

While Danny.

Keeps trying to fight the clock

(I want Danny to suffer in the funniest way possible)

Dude’s got issues