oliver-the-apprentice

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Oh that's where my new stash of halfling's leaf went...

Again :/

you know back when you were still sucking off the minister's cock i was busy pounding bags of moss and clay into high caster's pipes just to see what would happen when they smoked pure shit i took from the garden in front of the village hall

[oliver-the-apprentice]

dlǝɥ ssoq ʇıɥs ɥoo ʞɔnɟ ɥO

[oliver-the-apprentice]

To me the first one is like someone going like "Tada" but in a mean way

The second one, for the longest time when I first saw it, I thought it was someone behind choked out from behind

So I was very shocked when a friend saw me venting, and sent that, and I was so confused by an emoji putting me in a headlock, I was snapped out of whatever sad noodle episode I was having

🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

[oliver-the-apprentice]

My boss woke me up in the middle of the night last night telling me it was pride month and I knew what that means

I indeed did know what it meant and blasted the doppelganger in the face

I was then put in the gelatinous blob because it wasn't a doppelganger and he was trying to annoy me about a past situationship that failed miserably

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Friend's from the academy keep asking me how I'm able to deal with my boss so well

By the gods I don't, I try to take halfling's leaf most days to make it through the day, but anytime I get more, my boss just steals it for himself

And I cannot do anything about it or I have to sit in the gelatinous blob as a time out like a youngling

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Sir, no

Sir, please

Sir, stop stealing my shit

Friend's from the academy keep asking me how I'm able to deal with my boss so well

By the gods I don't, I try to take halfling's leaf most days to make it through the day, but anytime I get more, my boss just steals it for himself

And I cannot do anything about it or I have to sit in the gelatinous blob as a time out like a youngling

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Friend's from the academy keep asking me how I'm able to deal with my boss so well

By the gods I don't, I try to take halfling's leaf most days to make it through the day, but anytime I get more, my boss just steals it for himself

And I cannot do anything about it or I have to sit in the gelatinous blob as a time out like a youngling

[oliver-the-apprentice]

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Boss said No :/

Me when I’m bored so I have to push my apprentice into the gelatinous cube

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Honestly, I have faced much worse, boss is a huge upgrade from the last guy

Me when I’m bored so I have to push my apprentice into the gelatinous cube

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Click here for FREE mana !!!

NO QUESTIONS ASKED

FREE MANA

https://www.wizard.scam.orb

Boss has that spam spell on so certainly this is reliable, I trust boss

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Peach and Daisy Art

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Watched the new Pokemon episode, and realtalk Ash holding Beedrill like a baby is exactly how I would treat bug Pokemon half the time. (Context is Ash caught a Kakuna from falling, and it evolved while he was holding it. He was understandably Alarmed, but it's cool, nobody got stung.)

[oliver-the-apprentice]

did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually terrible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Not again :(

Me when I’m bored so I have to push my apprentice into the gelatinous cube

[oliver-the-apprentice]

Aw what? Gary is gone?

Damn, I liked talking to that guy :/

Me when I’m bored so I have to turn the WOSHA supervisor in my tower into a fine mist

[oliver-the-apprentice]

On April 16th 2025 the US federal government has proposed to change the interpretation of the endangered species act so that it no longer protects habitat.

This is open for public comment until the end of May 19th. Please comment and make your voice heard.

Wildlife need their habitat. If the ESA redefines harm so that habitat is no longer protected, the implications for wildlife would be catastrophic.