ollieandwally4ever

[ollieandwally4ever]

Thank you. I'm always here for you. Even when you feel there's nothing left and life just keeps knocking you down, I'll be by your side, offering my hand to lift you back up. We have a lot to do before we can even forgive eachother. But in time, I think it's possible. Just remember, I need you, like water, air, food. My mio. My best friend. My breath of fresh air. My favorite. Hmph. 5/19/24

[ollieandwally4ever]

I saw a couple today. They had a baby in a stroller. She's no older than a maybe 14 months. The man had a backpack/diaperbag and the woman was pushing the stroller. They walked together, smiling, laughing. I couldn't help but think how that will seemingly never be a thing with me, you, and our daughter. Everything she experiences with each of us will be separated. Time with my family, time with you and yours. And it made me tear up. Something I've always longed for was a family of my own. And im not talking my brothers and mother, while they do count as family, I mean a family that is my own. People who count on me and depend on me to provide for them. That's always kind of been a thing since my father passed when I was 14. But still, it's just a pipe dream now. You are convinced you hate me. For things you've never forgiven me for. But I was faithful. I was loyal. I was someone you could always know would be there if you needed me. But it's like none of that matters now. You've made your decision to turn down the help from me and my family. To chase someone who's trust you've already broken, stolen from, and lied to. That ship has sunk already yet you are scrambling to try and bring it back to the surface. It's actually quite sad to see. But I don't feel bad, I can't stand the circumstances that allowed that one to become a thing. But is it right? Am I wrong? Very well could be. I have a lot to think about. But just know when you see this, it's still I love you, siempre to the mother of my child. I hope we can be okay one day. Maybe even go out together with Ellie. One can dream...

[ollieandwally4ever]

3/3 I still dream about you. I have nightmares that wake me up screaming and yelling because of you. I'm forced to go through the good times and the bad times alone, because of you. You told me I wouldn't have to go through those alone anymore. And when I bring up the promises you made, all I get from you is "....I'm sorry. :(". You have succeeded in ruining me and who I was as a person. My own morals and ethics came into question. I sought revenge and blood. I wasn't nothing more than to be rid of the problem which I saw as the person you left me for. But it was you I should've been mad at. But I couldn't be. Because I loved you. I wanted nothing more than to he by your side during your pregnancy but you wouldn't let me. I tried so many times. And you just let him be instead. You say you hate me now. You make me feel like I'm nothing. Worthless. Not enough. Like I'm disposable. And yet, I'm still here. I tried to end it a few times. Because maybe then you would regret what you've done. But I kept fucking it up. I had to grieve you. Even though you weren't dead. I had to sit here, in this dark room, and decide that I deserved better than the best I've ever had. But I don't believe I do because of how you showed me I don't. I blame myself for you choosing him, i say why wouldn't she want me. What's wrong with me? How can I fix it? And it all points to my own actions. I apologize but it never fixes anything of course. My own view of you is now skewed so far from what I thought that I can't believe it. We could've been happy. We could've stayed best friends. Played pool, took road trips again, gone sight seeing together. But everytime, you chose to go with someone else. You showed me the ocean for the first time. It was amazing. I was humbled. That trip was harsh, but very worth it. You were worth it. I asked you to marry me there. You said yes. I thought that would be the start of our happiness, but it was the start of our decent into resentment. We could've been what we both most wanted. But you chose no. Now what? Do I really just uo and move on? Really? Mio....I'm still here mio. Please, open your eyes, and see that I'm still here. I found the love of my life in you. And I got so scared. Because I always thought, what if I wake up, and you're not there? What if I love you, and you won't care? I'm just scared now....I can't love anymore. My heart is turned to stone. And I end new relationships before they even start. Because I won't be hurt like that again. The only love I have now is for our daughter. She gets all my love. It's just too bad, you chose to end our relationship and friendship for him. For someone you said probably wouldn't work out anyways because you are too different. You told me you were trying to break it off with him. But really you were just going deeper and deeper in to your web of lies. I miss you so much. I long for you. Your touch, your hugs, your kisses. Your presence. Being around you hurts now. And you're okay with that it seems. Just know I'm here. And I'll always be here. Just a phone call away. Love birds stick together. Siempre. Happy early birthday. It's 4/22/2024 right now as I write this. And in a month, our 4 year anniversary would've happened. I'll just drink my sorrow away that Day. Because my solace will be in the bott9m of a bottle, instead of the arms of the person who made me see that love is possible. You chose to have it this way. So thank you. I love you. Forever. Happy birthday.

[ollieandwally4ever]

2/3 Our old photos, videos, and gifts. I may act cold, but in reality, I'm still madly in love with you. I don't think that'll ever change. But I do need to protect myself at this point. I don't send you money anymore. I don't make your problems mine. I stopped texting so much, calling every day, telling you that you are beautiful and that I love you. I stopped worrying so much about you and your mental state. Because you made me have to stop. I slowly started watching you text me less and less everyday. Ignore my calls, my messages, my voice-mail. I've plead my heart out so many times, and they all fell on deaf ears. You say you can't trust me. But fact of the matter is, you can. I wouldn't hurt you like I did before. That I swear. I would never be run by my own anger again. I have changed. In some ways, for the better, in some ways, for the worst. My confidence has been shot. Self esteem is low. Self image is questionable. And I don't love myself as much as I should. I can't even forgive myself. So I sit here, in this dark room, with your writing on my walls, hoping. Praying. That one day, you might see that I've been here the whole time. Waiting on your return. Maybe I'm waiting in vain. But you know what, I have loyalty. I was never once unfaithful to you. You accused me of being that kind of person time and time again, it caused so many arguments. So many hurt feelings. But I was still here. You would ghost out and leave me with little to no info as to where you were going or what you were doing. I was transparent. I told you everything. Because I believed that was the way.

[ollieandwally4ever]

I saw a future with you. I saw us living together, making it happen. I saw us learning to forgive eachother, and learning how to be patient with one another. You became the mother of our daughter and even though you had hoped it was the other person's baby, it wasn't. Just like we deduced from both of the conception dates we were given. She came out beautiful, adorable, healthy, perfect. She's a survivor, just like you. I saw myself in that delivery room. With you the entire way. I wouldn't have left your side for a second. I would've greeted our daughter into the world with open arms. With besitos all around. She would know so much love. It'd be crazy. We would help eachother in every way possible I thought. Emotionally, financially, spiritually, even physically. I'm sure pregnant intimacy would've been very fun. But alas, none of that happened that way. I saw us moving into my place, and working after she was born to get us a place of our own. We would've had support from so many people, it would've been so comfortable. We would've thrown a baby shower. Taken cute pictures of your pregnancy, and even some for the scrap book to tell baby about it later on. There wouldn't have been shame, regret, or animosity. Just....love. we would've had alternating shifts. One early, and one swing. That way, one of us can always be with baby. And if you didn't want to work and just wanted to take care of baby, I would've done two jobs for you. You don't understand just how down for you I was. Or maybe you did. That's why you'd only use me for money. You stopped the intimacy a few months after you realized you were pregnant, and chose the other person. You started treating me like I was the enemy. Like I was the one against you but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I saw potential in us still. I saw so many possibilities that all ended with you and I together. And in some way, it came true, but not as husband and wife, but as Co-parents. We strive for the same goal now, to give baby every opportunity we never had. But unfortunately, you won't let her have two parents under the same roof for her. You want to chase this person, cater to him, beg his forgiveness. You have and always will be run by your emotions. While I was away, you chose to replace me. To find someone else to make you happy. You threw away all of our memories and tried to forget. You call me your abuser. That I'm the reason your life is so difficult. And when I try to do nice things for you, I get rejected. Told I'm being creepy. You ask why aren't I dead yet. Why won't I just leave you alone to be happy? You have widdled down my own self worth to near zero. And yet, I cling to you. I cling to our promise to keep Ollie and wally together forever.

[ollieandwally4ever]

They are always ready for the next adventure whether it is a road trip, staycation, or even just a ride around town, these two are always down to go. :) <3

[ollieandwally4ever]

When's momma coming back? I miss her... -Ollie

...She's on a trip right now, she told me to tell you she loves you very much and she will tell you all about her trip when she gets back. :)

-Berdo

Okay! -Ollie

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[ollieandwally4ever]

There's just something about being with you that makes me feel....safe. Mmm! -Wally

I'll always be here for you silly. Never forget that. Through bad times and the good times. I promise. -Ollie

<3

[ollieandwally4ever]

Hey Ollie, I got you a flower! You look so pretty in your new dress, you make me blushy just being around you. ^-^ -Wally

Aww. Thank you Wally, I love you and your gifts. They always mean so much to me. I think you look handsome in your new sweater and jeans too. <3 -Ollie

The night skyline is always so beautiful. -Ollie

...You're beautiful...🫣 -Wally

🥹 -Ollie

<3

[ollieandwally4ever]

Snuggles with you are always the best! -Wally

I love it when we are all bundled up together, it's always sooo comfy. :) -Ollie

You're my favorite. :) -Wally

You're my only. :) - Ollie

<3

[ollieandwally4ever]

Ocean! It's so pretty here that we never wanted to leave. But we had to. :( I think they called this place Newport? -Ollie

It's okay Ollie, we will be back sooner than you think. -Wally

Promise? -Ollie

I promise. -Wally

<3

[ollieandwally4ever]

Ollie loves it when I bring her flowers. She gave me one and I wore it everyday! I love you, you're my world. <3 -Always yours, Wally.

[ollieandwally4ever]

Because when I'm with you, the view can't get any better. We love watching the planes and cars zoom around! -Wally

[ollieandwally4ever]

Just hanging with my forever and our best friend, Necessities the Bear. <3 Love you guys. Always. -Ollie :3