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An excerpt of one of my last posts I wrote this. ‘So, instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Are you kinder, stronger, more courageous, and grounded today than you were yesterday? For me, that is the only question that matters. What about You?’ It led me to this.

A hardened war veteran who had served 3 tours was asked what makes you courageous. Their response was, ‘Vulnerability because when you realise how vulnerable you are you become courageous.’

For far too long the idea of a person being open about their feelings has been seen as a weakness others can exploit. So we are taught to shut down, shut up and shut out. I’m done with the idea that I need to protect my ego. If you fuck with mine I’ll fuck with yours scenario. Pissing contests are not my thing. Anger in psychology is not a primary emotion. It’s secondary. Hurt is primary that leads to anger. If I invested a pound for every person who reacted towards another with anger I’d be richer, not that I need it.

Some of the most courageous people have given their lives and their sanity knowing how vulnerable they were yet they still acted. They chose vulnerability. My question? Learie theory 3. If a person can choose that path in a split second. Why are there those who cannot choose that path when they have a lifetime to do it. What I mean is letting themselves be who they really are. Being emotionally vulnerable isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength. It’s facing the reckoning despite the possible outcome. Being invulnerable just sets a person up for failure. Acting out of hurt destroys you not the person it’s aimed at. Learn to react better and maturely.

Never fearful,(really?)always bravado. Muscle mass over mindful mess. Saving face over losing grace.(what will others think?) I’ve gone so far and can’t go back? Really? My solution? Fuck that!

Human kindness takes courage. Being kind to people you believe are worth it isn’t kindness.

Being kind to people others you don't think are worth it is being kind. My challenge. Prove me wrong. We can all be kind to others we like. It’s so easy. No effort. No challenge. No vulnerability. No change. No judgement. No truth.

Learie history. I gave the best part of my life from the age of 18 for a few years working with homeless people in London. Some were Veterans who I built a strong bond with. Hero’s in rags who people in posh suits walked past and looked away from with utter contempt. Not knowing their story. Not caring about their story.

You want to know about what it’s like to be hurt?

Yet I still tried to share their story. It shows who you are willing to fight for. A person doesn’t have to like someone to be kind to them.

When you choose not to be kind to someone it’s likely you never gave a fuck in the first place. Time and circumstances don’t change a person’s aim.

If you’re only kind to the people you like you fear the truth…that you may actually come to like them. You may have to admit your hurt was not something they caused. Your circle don’t approve of them for whatever reason, their race, background, gender, age, current circumstances. Again, I say, Fuck that.

Life is too short to spend my time pleasing others. Fighting to be THAT friend.

You can choose to roll over or choose to become a better individual. Vulnerable and courageous. Stepping out, in order to step in. A person doesn’t have to be cruel to be tough. There is no such thing as being cruel to be kind. If you are cruel then causing pain and suffering is your goal. Being kind is the total opposite.

I’ve been very busy under the radar. Quite a few things happening, all positive. I’m always contactable if you need to and I’ll always listen and learn if necessary. I’ll stand by you and your vulnerability without judgement. Whose with me?

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A meaningful life.

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose not chasing after happiness. This is about you not others. Where your intention goes your energy flows. if we spend a lot of time doing things that distract us it’s likely that we are unhappy with aspects of our current life. There are only so many distractions before you realise that the time dealing with the causes has been wasted rather than confronting the issues. Being self Aware brings so much freedom. Things that used to matter no longer do. The best compliment I’ve ever had was someone saying, ‘You’ve really changed.’ I like adventure and exploring and walking and spending quality time in nature and with my family. I’ve learned to never assume without facts. I give people the opportunity to interact but am never offended when they don’t. The way a person treats you is just a reflection of how they feel in their own life. Unhealed people can find offence in pretty much anything. A healed person knows that the actions of another has very little to do with them. Self awareness is more than a term. Some chances appear once and may never appear again. I’ve learned to discern what is and what isn’t. This comes from an understanding of my own self-worth. It’s an incredible moment that when others see me now they see the changes. Society has programmed us to remain in the known (comfortable) and not to venture into the unknown (uncomfortable). Some surround themselves with distractions to hide the sense of loss within a relationship. Have a meaningful life. Google Podcasts have now accepted my podcasts which are free to subscribe to. Keep believing in yourselves. Don’t allow stagnation and predictability rob you of your real passion and goals in life.

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A meaningful life.

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose not chasing after happiness. This is about you not others. Where your intention goes your energy flows. if we spend a lot of time doing things that distract us it’s likely that we are unhappy with aspects of our current life. There are only so many distractions before you realise that the time dealing with the causes has been wasted rather than confronting the issues. Being self Aware brings so much freedom. Things that used to matter no longer do. The best compliment I’ve ever had was someone saying, ‘You’ve really changed.’ I like adventure and exploring and walking and spending quality time in nature and with my family. I’ve learned to never assume without facts. I give people the opportunity to interact but am never offended when they don’t. The way a person treats you is just a reflection of how they feel in their own life. Unhealed people can find offence in pretty much anything. A healed person knows that the actions of another has very little to do with them. Self awareness is more than a term. Some chances appear once and may never appear again. I’ve learned to discern what is and what isn’t. This comes from an understanding of my own self-worth. It’s an incredible moment that when others see me now they see the changes. Society has programmed us to remain in the known (comfortable) and not to venture into the unknown (uncomfortable). Some surround themselves with distractions to hide the sense of loss within a relationship. Have a meaningful life. Google Podcasts have now accepted my podcasts which are free to subscribe to. Keep believing in yourselves. Don’t allow stagnation and predictability rob you of your real passion and goals in life.

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Birds know when to stop beating their wings and to just soar. As with life, when the wind changes direction learn to soar.