omgbarista-blog

[omgbarista-blog]

repotting plants things:

don’t fill up the pot the whole way, leave about an inch of rim so you can actually water

but don’t plant way too deep either, this could lead to air flow issues which can lead to rot

don’t use really big pots for small plants. it makes it very hard to know when to water.

only go up an inch or so in diameter every time you repot. if you get a new plant and find it has almost no roots you can sometimes even go down a size. I’ve found many common houseplants like Philodendrons especially like this.

remove plants from plastic pots by gently squeezing, not always by pulling on the plant

remove plants from terracotta or ceramic/glazed pots by being gentleeee and maybe by running a knife or other utensil around the diameter of the pot if it’s really stuck and also by praying

loosen the roots by squeezing or gently untangling the root ball

it’s ok if you break some roots i promise

sometimes you’ll want to remove as much of the old soil as you can, other times just remove enough to leave some loose roots

throw small amount dirt in bottom of pot first, then place plant in. the base of the plant should ideally be level with where you want it when fully planted. if not, lift up and add more dirt and repeat

some plants you can plant deeper than they originally were, others you can’t

add dirt around the plant, packing gently. don’t pack it super duper tight but don’t just toss it in there loosely either

add one handful at a time. rotating the pot is easiest

rotate and gently pack, rotate and gently pack until dirt level is where you want it

water your plant in when finished. water deeply until the water runs out of the bottom. this is important to prevent air pockets (roots can’t grow in air). with succulents you may want to wait a few days to water in to prevent rot but most times they’ll be ok.

if you did have air pockets, your dirt might settle a bit. add some more and water again.

ta da, repotting

[omgbarista-blog]

Customer: can I have an iced cold brew with vanilla?

Me: sure! Would you like cold brew with vanilla powder or our cold brew vanilla latte which comes with a vanilla bean sauce and whole milk

Customer: NO! I DONT WANT IT HOT!

Me: that’s not what I asked

[omgbarista-blog]

Customer: I want an iced white chocoate latte but can you make it extra delicious?

Me: yeah I can do that. So did you want like an extra half scoop of white chocolate? Or maybe I can put some fudge swirls on the cup and drizzle on the top?

Customer: ew no! Extra delicious means more espresso

Me: oh yes… foolish me!

[omgbarista-blog]

I don’t think I’ve told you guys about some of the drinks I have to make for regulars at my job, so gather around kids.

A trenta iced tea (which kind depends on the day) with light ice, no liquid cane sugar pumps, and 15 Splenda shaken in. You read that right. 15.

A short americano for here with two shots, two raw sugars in the americano and one on the side filled about halfway with hot water, a doppio cup filled with steamed nonfat milk with no foam for him to pour into said americano, usually paired with well toasted but not burnt bagel with cream cheese served on a plate with a knife. Customer has been coming to my store for 6 years and still doesn’t know the name of his drink. Also enjoys sexually harassing every woman in the store.

Grande iced triple shot nonfat 2 pump vanilla latte. Sounds fairly simple but you have to get the milk to the top black line on the cup, no more, no less. Any more (like not even half an inch more) and the drink is “too milky” and you will have to remake it.

A venti coffee light Frappuccino, but with 6 pumps of frapp roast, 2 added ristretto shots, double the ice, giving her 2 frappuccino’s instead of one, but she won’t pay for 2, 8 pumps of sugar free vanilla syrup, only 2 pumps of Frappuccino base, blended at least twice and scooped with a spoon into the cups with enough room for light whipped cream but not too much because she wants a flat lid on top, not a dome lid. Will scream at you if you “assume things” about her drink.

[omgbarista-blog]

Dear customer

A cappacino with light foam is a latte. Thank you for your time.

[omgbarista-blog]

If tell you we are out of something,

then we are out of it. I’m not hiding whatever it is from you.

[omgbarista-blog]

Dear Customers,

Fuck you.

Love,

Your OffBrand Barista

[omgbarista-blog]

Customer: *points to jug of milk on the counter* is this milk???

Me: No, it’s horse cum🙃

[omgbarista-blog]

Me: Hey there! How a-

Unpleasant regular: double decaf cappuccino in a 16 oz cup with a 16oz iced latte size scoop of vanilla bone dry all soy foam to go thanks (swipes card)

Me: -re you today?

[omgbarista-blog]

Today a customer just asked “does the mocha have chocolate added to it?”

[omgbarista-blog]

Creepy Customer Of The Day Award goes to...

Me: "Whip cream?"

Customer: "On the mocha?... Or in general?" *chuckles to himself*

Me: *stares* "On the mocha.*

[omgbarista-blog]

The Customer Is Not Always Right: Getting Owned By the Owner Part 2

COFFEE SHOP | LEICESTER, ENGLAND, UK (I’m standing in a fairly short queue when a businessman walks in, pushes straight to the front and starts dictating his order to the 20-something year old cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to the back of the queue, sir.”

Business man: “I have an important meeting shortly. You must serve me now!”

Cashier: “Yeah, the longer you stand there, the later you’re going to be. Back of the queue.”

Business man: “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Cashier: “Nope. Now shut up and go to the back of the queue.”

Business man: “How dare you talk to me like that?! Get me your manager now!” (The cashier sighs heavily, walks into the back, comes out with an older woman in tow and nods her towards the businessman, then disappears back into the back.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Business man: “That boy was incredibly rude to me! I demand you fire him immediately!”

Manager: “I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to do that, but if you want I can get the owner for you.”

Business man: “Bah! Fine, but I expect to be compensated for having to go through all of this trouble!”

Manager: “I’m sure you can discuss that with him, sir.” (She then walks into the back, then comes out again with the now grinning cashier.)

Cashier: “Yo.”

Business man: “What’s the meaning of this? I said I wanted to talk to the owner!”

Cashier: “Like I said, yo.” (The businessman silently gapes for a few seconds, then walks out stammering threats about having his head and closing the shop down.)

Manager: “Why do you always have to involve me?”

Cashier: “I just love the look on their stupid little faces when they find out I own this joint.” (The manager rolls her eyes and walks into back.)

Cashier: “I love this job. What can I get you?”

[omgbarista-blog]

✨Art✨

[omgbarista-blog]

[omgbarista-blog]

Customer: Cash I get a venti iced caramel macchiato with half a shot?

Me: You want an extra half shot?

Customer: No, just half of one shot.

Me: .......

[omgbarista-blog]

When your friends store orders too much avocado spread.

[omgbarista-blog]

customer : hi can i get a-

me: no sorry were all out!