oneoftheless

[oneoftheless]

I once joked, "I'm going to be single forever," but I don't think it's a joke anymore.

[oneoftheless]

I don’t want to be another mistake in someones live.

[oneoftheless]

“And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep.”

— Unknown

[oneoftheless]

[oneoftheless]

death and i used to be old friends.

i used to think about her

pretty much all the time.

for a while, it was

the only thing that could

calm me down enough to sleep.

but it has been a long time

since i have been close enough

to death to remember her clearly,

so on the worst nights,

i picture the next best thing.

i picture my loved ones

grieving me after i am gone.

i picture a quiet morning,

and life moving on anyway.

and it fills my stomach with guilt,

and it makes my chest ache

with longing and with

something far more bitter,

but it is the only thing

that makes my breathing even out.

the sun rises as i am

drifting off most nights,

and my last thought is often

the fleeting hope that

i will not have to follow suit.

what am i supposed to do with that?

-mars

[oneoftheless]

*думи, които трябва да си повтарям*

“You don’t need someone to feel loved. Learn to love yourself first and everything else follows.”

— Unknown

[oneoftheless]

*думи, които трябва да си повтарям*

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

— Oscar Wilde

[oneoftheless]

[oneoftheless]

*думи, които трябва да си повтарям.*

“I pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt & seeing the good in everyone but yourself. You deserve more.”

— Lexyne Grays

[oneoftheless]

Отчаках си да я пусне.

[oneoftheless]

-Dominic Riccitello

[oneoftheless]

“But good God, what's wrong with me, after all? What am I missing? Why this emptiness, this nostalgia? What is this anxiety, as if I only loved something I didn't know?”

— Clarice Lispector, from a letter to Fernando Sabino featured in Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector

[oneoftheless]

I find it no coincidence 

That 

‘To live’ and

‘To love’

Are one letter apart,

Pain is a sign

That you are still alive,

Pain is a sign

That you have loved hard enough. 

[oneoftheless]

If I were a story...

My pages would be ripped.

Scribbles would line every paragraph.

I'd be the one in the back of the library,

covered in dust and left unread for years.

No one wants to read a sad story with a shitty ending.

[oneoftheless]

Благодаря

Благодарен съм на това, че опита.

Благодарен съм, че след всичко, което вкуси, ти остана.

Благодарен съм, че въпреки емоции и чувства накрая взе решението за последно.

Благодарен съм, че въпреки това и двамата продължаваме напред, който както смята за правилно.

И едно последно благодаря, че ме научи...

Да се справям без теб, дори да е по моя грешен начин.

[oneoftheless]

[oneoftheless]

TW I guess...

.

.

.

My love is not enough, I know

It never been, I know

Compared to everything else,

History of people leaving me,

In the end, after short time,

I know it's pattern, I can recognize it

Even now, and it's killing me

My love is simply not enough, I know

Compared to my own inner mess

I don't have much to offer, I know

And I understand why no one

Ever stays, I know, I understand

But it's still killing me anyway

And it's abusive - I am, to myself

I would keep me either

And I'm abusive to myself

I know, and still, I do it anyway

But I was determinate to

Not let anyone close, like never again

And then, after few years of

Isolating and hidding in my room,

I did and broke promises to myself

Because it felt safe, it fucking did

And now it doesn't anymore

As I'm hurting, once more again

Because I can never be enough

I know, my love is never enough

And I'm probably fucking my any pride

And self worth in the ass, I know

But I watch myself do it anyway

I guess it's way too late to push u away

And save any piecies left of me

I did it, it's my fault

I knew how it will end, I fucking knew it

All blame on me and my starving heart

But is it too much to ask

For little less loneliness?

Is it too much to be loved for once?

In my case, I guess it is...

And so I'm hurting, hurting again

But it was my decision, so it's my fault

God, I wish I ended it then...

I had it planned, I was sure about that

Maybe it would hurt less if I sticked to my

Ugly little plan and ended it then