onlyenemiesdotcom

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

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@thoughtstherapy

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

It's the first time I see my friends blood... It feels so intimate...

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

I would never fall victim to the worst of me again, you will never take control again, I know WHO I AM and I WILL be KIND and HUMAN

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

Isn't pathetic the same thing as cute...?

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

Sending my unconditional love to addicts and people with horrible compulsions and people who are suicidal and everyone who feels utterly alone and all the psychotic people who society disdains and the homeless and people who feel lost and everyone who doesn't want to get better and people seeking vindication and people who can't let go and people who are undesired. I love you all so much.

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

Hmm hmm~ Yes yes I will be your savior, even if only for a while~ So you don't need to follow the path I was thrown into to get the answers you seek~

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

It's almost cute... No, it is cute. To have been hell and through hell and in the end be the best person you will ever meet! I am in fact better than you honey, but don't worry, you can be your cute unaware, silly and naive self, the road to perfection should not be the burden of everyone

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

Sigh it's fascinating to see how they struggle so hard to just not hurt someone or be an asshole.

You want to be a good person huh? You have feelings and feel regret, that's nice but... Such weak will.

It's so simple, so obvious, so CLEAR what you SHOULD do and SHOULDN'T, yet here you are

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

A lot clicked for me when my mom said the reason she was so reactive towards me as a kid was that she assumed intent behind things I did, rather than recognizing my behaviors for being normal kid behaviors or normal autism behaviors. So I got treated as if I was an adult who was intentionally doing things to upset her. She'd react to me like I had the maturity and wherewithal to do things in a cruel or manipulative way, making her life harder, when I was just existing. Just trying to learn how to cope and be a person myself. When she told me this I stopped in my tracks trying to process. Why would anyone's default assumption be that a kid is trying to antagonize them instead of like, struggling with something they're experiencing? But she was also raised the exact same way, treated like everything she did carried the weight of adult responsibility, not seen as a kid.

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

I feel like wanting things has been important to being happier for me

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

nooo don’t push everyone away because you’re scared they’ll abandon you first you’re so sexy aha

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

it's never too late to start brushing your teeth again. i basically never brushed my teeth for a whole 10 years. a decade. A DECADE. i still struggle to brush my teeth once a week, but it all started with brushing my teeth once every few months. so i mean it when i say brushing your teeth once a week, a month, a year, or even a decade, is better than nothing.

and still, nothing is not shameful. it is not immoral to struggle with self care. and it is also not pointless to keep trying. anything you can do, even if its wiping plaque off with a towel, is enough. it is good to take care of yourself however you can, even if it's just trying to muster the will to. reading this post is good, too.

i believe in you and i am proud of you, even in the smallest of steps. it's okay. you can give yourself grace.

[onlyenemiesdotcom]

[onlyenemiesdotcom]