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[ononecondition]

Jamie gave a weak smile and bit her lip. “No... I’m... I’m not scared of what’s waiting on the other side...” She choked, her eyes so filled with tears that she couldn’t see him any longer. “I’m scared of... Of leaving my father alone. Of not being with you.” 

“I don’t... Jesse...” 

But Jamie had to stop and catch her breath. And for several moments, she was too overcome by emotion to continue even after she had. How could she try to convey to him every secret feeling she’d kept locked away for the last year? 

“I don’t want anyone to be hurting because of me... It goes... It goes against everything I’ve done all my life.” 

[ononecondition]

When Jesse pulled out the box, Jamie’s bright blue eyes went wide. She gasped and tried weakly to lift a hand to her mouth. He had a ring already? How long had Jesse been carrying that around with him? 

“Oh, Jesse!” She answered, her lips trembling. “You planned this! You asked Daddy already, didn’t you?” 

A labored laughed escaped her heaving chest. “It’s... It’s beautiful. I love it...”

[ononecondition]

“Oh, well if they don’t want to come, they don’t have to.” Jamie smiled. “But anyone is welcome. It’s just that no one should be alone on Christmas... What kind of cookies does your mother like? I made several batches for the food bank and to deliver around the neighborhood, and I’ve plenty to spare for her.” 

Sighing as she pulled Lydia closer, the girl looked around. It had truly been a perfect night. Just as magical and joyful as she’d hoped. The smiles on the kids’ faces made everything worth it. And she hoped that she’d given them some good memories of herself over the years to carry with them for the rest of their lives. 

🌿 / our muses catch themselves under a mistletoe . {Jesse & Jamie}

“Well, would ya look at that?” Jesse grinned, pointing to the green and red plan in the doorway, “you know what that means…”

@ononecondition

[ononecondition]

By Unknown For Fossil - 2018

[ononecondition]

There’s no need to talk about it, because the truth of what one says lies in what one does.

Bernhard Schlink, The Reader (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

Green Boats by Marie Lalanne Manzor Via Flickr:

[ononecondition]

Tuck Everlasting (2002)

[ononecondition]

Headcanon 8

The type of cancer Jamie had is likely APL, or Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. It’s a very rare, aggressive, and serious type of Leukemia that develops quickly. (Hence it being acute versus chronic) It was once very feared because bleeding to death was very common during induction chemo treatments. It was also first described in 1957, which would be the year Jamie was diagnosed. Her symptoms also seem to match, though her bleeding seems to have been less severe than what is implied with this Leukemia. 

But in recent years, two different non-chemo treatments haven been discovered: ATRA, or all-trans retinoic acid, and arsenic trioxide. Additionally, ATRA and AT were found to be useful for APL in the 60s and 70s, fitting in with Landon’s assertion that were she diagnosed in the 90s, she may have lived. (With AT in particular not being approved until 2000 for use in the US.)

Here is a website explaining one doctor’s encounters with APL before and after ATRA and Arsenic Trioxide, where in one case, the patient died the day after being diagnosed and put on chemo from a brain hemorrhage. The other case, happily ended with the patient living thanks to ATRA and AT. 

This site explains a little more about APL, including basic facts about APL, potential causes and ATRA/AT and other treatments. 

And here is the Wikipedia article on APL, with links to ATRA and AT included. 

[ononecondition]

How quietly we endure all that falls upon us.

Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.

Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

I can’t tell you exactly what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when it happens. I want to be breathless and weak, crumpled by the entrance of another person inside my soul.

Aimee Bender, The Girl in the Flammable Skirt (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.

Markus Zusak, I Am The Messenger (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

By Unknown For Fossil - 2018

[ononecondition]

Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.

Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

I was quiet, but I was not blind.

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park (via books-n-quotes)

[ononecondition]

It is a thousand pities never to say what one feels.

Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway (via books-n-quotes)