onyxisnotuniqueenough

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

cross posting because i'd love to talk mlre about this :)

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

No one can choose who they are in this world.

i've never fiddled so much with the effects....this took 6h25mn....a speedpaint would require an epilepsy warning....

and yet it still hasn't come out like i wanted to

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i watched this video a week ago or so, (i don't remember certain points and maybe i should've posted when it was fresh) and while i didn't agree with everything it made me think more about kris and i have weirdly grown to love them 500 times more over the week....kris i love you.....you are my child.....

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

[“I think shame provides social capital to white people in a few key ways. First, it garners sympathy. In the era of self-care, shame is something we believe we shouldn’t feel. If shame says “I am bad” rather than “what I did was bad,” then, in a self-care/self-help framework, no one should feel shame because we are all inherently good. The “I am inherently good” mantra is amplified for white people because our goodness is systematically reinforced across society: “good” neighborhoods and schools being stand-ins for white, and white as a stand-in for ideal human. When that taken-for-granted yet unacknowledged sense of racial goodness is challenged, we feel attacked at our very core. Whiteness studies scholar Michelle Fine speaks to this moral insulation when she says: “Whiteness accrues privilege and status, gets itself surrounded by protective pillows of resources and/or benefits of the doubt; how Whiteness repels gossip and voyeurism and instead demands dignity.” White people seldom find ourselves without these “protective pillows,” and when we do, it is typically because we have chosen to temporarily step outside our comfort zones. Within our insulated racial environment we come to not only expect racial comfort but to also be less tolerant of racial stress. Expressing shame elicits comfort and relief as we turn to others seeking reassurance, in essence asking to be reminded of our goodness.

For white progressives, shame is seen as socially legitimate (or we wouldn’t express it), a sign that we care and that we feel empathy. This may be why we express shame so much more readily than guilt. Guilt means we are responsible for something; shame relieves us of responsibility. If I focus on what I did, I must take responsibility for repair. If I focus on what I am, it is impossible to change and I am relieved of responsibility.

In distinguishing shame from guilt, psychologist Joseph Burgo explains,

Although many people use the two words ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ interchangeably, from a psychological perspective, they actually refer to different experiences. Guilt and shame sometimes go hand in hand; the same action may give rise to feelings of both shame and guilt, where the former reflects how we feel about ourselves and the latter involves an awareness that our actions have injured someone else. In other words, shame relates to self; guilt to others.

If guilt relates to external actions and shame to an internal or private state, we can begin to see why shame is the preferred narrative: it protects our positions within the status quo by making it difficult for anyone outside ourselves to address. (The “personal experience” narrative functions the same way; as soon as I invoke that what I am claiming is “just my personal experience,” it becomes private—something internal to myself that only I can know or understand and that therefore cannot be challenged by others.)

Second, it is hard to move forward when we feel shame, as shame tends to be paralyzing; shame actually excuses us from moving forward. What can we do when we feel so bad? We can’t act until we work through this feeling, and that will take time and resources. Of course, given the requirement of time and resources, most of us won’t work through our feelings at all.

Indulging in racial shame whenever we feel exposed (but only when we feel exposed) puts our focus on ourselves and away from those we may have harmed. In this way, shame functions to deny our power and excuse our paralysis, allowing us to indulge in a sense of our own victimization. Both bell hooks and Audre Lorde have noted that feeling bad about racism or white privilege can function as a form of self-centeredness in which white progressives turn the focus back onto themselves. Hooks considered shame to be the performance of whiteness and not an indicator that whiteness was being interrupted.

Feminist writer and independent scholar Sara Ahmed explains, “The shameful white subject expresses shame about its racism, and in expressing its shame, it ‘shows’ that it is not racist: if we are shamed, we mean well. The white subject that is shamed by whiteness is also a white subject that is proud about its shame. The very claim to feel bad (about this or that) also involves a self-perception of ‘being good.’” In other words, if I feel bad enough, I both demonstrate and retain my morality. Ahmed raises the question of whether anti-racism is really about “making people feel better: safer, happier, more hopeful, less depressed, and so on.” There is certainly much concern within anti-racist education about white people not feeling “too” bad lest they withdraw from engagement, and much time and attention is given to keeping white people in the conversation. This concern is heightened when the shame narrative emerges; we now must tread very carefully so as not to cause the person to disengage.”]

robin diangelo, from nice racism: how progressive white people perpetuate racial harm

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

sunset patrol

we are SO back

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

SOOOO Quick and Sooooo Angry

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

RECENT MAGMA ART JAMS DUMP....i've been spending all my time on there !!

last guy is a redesign of @quieted-silent-silence 's oc (asked for ofc). the rest are people asking to draw their ocs, but i don't have their @s

except for miku and garnet ofc ofc

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i can't afford art school and while i'm not great, it's my only skill.

job-wise, the art industry looks bleak. what am i supposed to do?

it feels like i'll never be able to live off my only true passion, especially when i'm not experienced or skilled enough to stand out in the huge art crowd. i know that all i want is to have movies, or a show or a comic and be able to tell the stories i want to tell, on a hayao miyazaki kinda level. but that dream seems unreachable

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

hi kiwi, i was recently wondering what happened with your mitski class project you were working on a few years back. did you ever post it? :O

i do not remember finishing this but apparently i did!

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i love uptown girls

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

guys i've had the magician oc since 7TH FUCKING GRADE and i wanted her to be prism's nemesis/one of his enemies because i didn't know what to do with her. and then I SCRAPPED HER BECAUSE I GOT IDEAS FOR A WEREWOLF SIDEKICK FOR HIM AND A WEREBUNNY NEMESIS. AND GUESS WHAT. IT ALL CLICKED TONIGHT, WHILE REORGANIZING MY PINTEREST, THAT THE WEREBUNNY NEEDS A SIDEKICK TOO!! AAAAANNNDDDD GUES WHO'S OLD ASS PINTEREST BOARD WAS LOOKING AT ME WHILE I SAID THAT TO MYSELF. it's all coming together baby i'm so proud of my little neurons

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

me to me when i get anxiety about my future and my purpose on earth

I feel like some of you dont understand what a serialized narrative is. Like why r you asking me what happens next just wait for the next episode.

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i need friends be my friend

i don't need you to be in the same fandoms as me necessarily, but if it helps us possibly connect i like :

both digital and trad art, mitski, kendrick, thee sacred souls, house md, miraculous, spider-man, daredevil, smosh, danny/drew/kurtis/chad chad, and i'm currently watching abbott elementary. i also have lots of predictable queer art kid experience under my belt (SU, Sonic, etc.)

i would also love to have someone to talk religion with, idk if that's corny but when am i not

DM ME!!

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

"Why do you hate found family" you guys will call characters who r literally coworkers siblings its stupid.

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

practice idk

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

is a green tongue crazy

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

it unfortunately makes me nervous to post about my redesign/au oops. let's drop the standard guys the entry level is too high for me

i've been sitting on a bunch of pieces for like 2 or 3 weeks now (cause that's all i've been drawing)

guys searching up miraculous on tumblr was one of the best decisions i ever made miraculous artists DROP BANGERS AFTER BANGERS WHATTTTT THE FUCK. unlocking the miraculous tag after finally finishing season 5 (and thus not be scared of spoilers anymore) is like unlocking tumblr premium plus where have you been hiding my whole tumblr life. the AUs and redesigns are always so creative, the art so CHEF KISS,....wow......thank you for sharing your soul with us guys