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[oomiizaslvt]

NERVOUS.

Warnings?? Sakusa is a fuckboy lol, there may be slight guilt tripping, one sided,  high key toxic. There is no happy ending, just pure angst. This isn't rlly a warning  but mentions of a chubbier reader, 

‘Should I just be quiet?..’ this thought frequently comes into my head, in fact every word I speak to Kiyoomi is practically ignored. He only answers when he wants something, wants me. Who am I to say no. He says that he’s the best for me, of course I believe him. I believe every word he tells me, every lie, every whisper, every moan of his. I wish they were softer, I wish he were softer. Sakusa isnt perfect though, nobody is, so I don't blame him. 

‘You got me nervous to speak.’ That's what I think when I'm with his friends, if I talk to them, Oomi will accuse me of cheating, he'll say I dont think hes good enough, he'll cry and then all of a sudden leave saying he can find someone better, prettier, smarter. Although I think he just wants to find someone more ‘obedient’. If you ask him, he’ll say I'm not obedient enough, that he gives me the world and I give him stress in return. Except he doesn't give me the world, he says he's my present..which is cute when he's being nice, but any other time it feels like a punishment. 

‘I got an itch in my throat.’ Sometimes I'll think it's finally time for me to stick up for myself. That I should leave him, every time I find a new bra that's too tiny to fit me, or underwear that wouldn't even fit over my thigh, a random eyelash that is larger than life. It's funny when he tries to convince me it's mine even though I haven't worn fake eyelashes in almost a year, at first I believed him. I told myself ‘well I did wear them a while back.’ and this excuse would have been applied to him again, except the same thing happened again a week ago

“Shut up, be quiet!” and I do, I stop talking completely. What else should I say? I'm not sure what to do. I open my mouth to speak but it immediately gets shut, the hand around my throat tells me enough. He kisses me gently, soon it becomes more, he's slipping his hands down my pants and attempting to touch that special place reserved for someone who should love me. He whispers sweet “I love you”s that melt my heart, every bad thought I've had of him slips away as our lips connect. I just can't stop his love.