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A deeper look on Light's thought before and after his second victim please? Light wanted to move from 50% percent that he killed someone or just an coincidence to 100% confirmed either of those, sure anyone would do that, but what then? I also don't understand why he thought that moving on his killing spree until a reaper comes and takes his life was a good idea.

Alright, let’s follow Light’s journey a bit here! 

After accidentally killing his first victim, he immediately panics and needs to make sure whether or not that really just happened, yes. Though notably, he also immediately goes on to try and find justifications. He can’t just kill anybody, he has to kill someone who it is morally defensible to kill. Because he’s Light Yagami and he doesn’t do bad and immoral things!!

That’s the mindset he goes out to cram school with. By the time he gets there (and then is on the way back, as in the panel above), he’s already notably calmed down. Light is a master of rationalizing. All his feelings run through fifty layers of thought justification before he allows himself to feel them. So by this point he’s already calmer again, back to treating things as a bit more of a thought experiment. And this thought experiment is pretty morbid. Light’s had a negative outlook on the world before (his literal first panel is ‘this world is rotten’), but now he really zeroes in on his pre-existing contempt towards humanity. And it absolutely is pre-existing, even if he may not ordinarily think that much of it.

And then we get to the point where it undeniably stops being a thought experiment and that is the turning point. Here Light has to face that beyond a shadow of doubt, he’s killed people. He’s the perfect son of a hardworking policeman who works with homicide cases… and he’s just become the secret perpetrator of a homicide case himself. 

Keep reading

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finally logged back in

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I apologize if this is kind of a dumb question with an obvious answer but could you explain what you mean in your Misa post where you say "I don't think misa's delusional at all about who light is or what he's about; but I do think she's not really clear on what she wants: which leads her down interesting (wrong) conclusions about him, especially in the second half of the series."?

not dumb at all, i was typing that really fast and it was a super off the cuff post anyway. chinhands. so what i mean is that part 1 misa (pre timeskip) is clearly not delusional. she is very much aware that light is using her, doesn't really like her, and is kind of just. putting up with her because she's useful. she's okay with that. she knows the kind of person he is. but part 2 misa does not appear to have that same lucidity in the manga/anime.

i grabbed this panel off google even though it's not the clearest one for my argument but i wanted to point out this moment, mostly because it feels like misa has fallen for light's lie that he loves her. of course we, the viewers, know that light doesn't really care about misa's "happiness as a woman." does misa know that? has she fallen into a delusion of domestic care?

and i think this can go either way but for the sake of argument. i interpret this panel (and the whole situation of light asking misa to give up the notebook and thus, her memories) as such:

light has lived with misa for 5 years at this point. they've also gotten technically engaged even if light was pretty offhanded and unserious about it. we don't get to see what yagamane looks like in those 5 years, but clearly they're at least pretending to be in love around light's family and the task force.

pre timeskip misa is sure that light keeps her around because she's useful. she has the eyes and a death note.

pre timeskip misa explicitly wants light to fall in love with her for real.

post timeskip, light is asking her to give up the notebook. in short, to give up the only thing that makes her useful to him. but he's also promised to marry her, so he's not getting rid of her.

why wouldn't she believe that light genuinely cares for her at this point? he's taking away her only use as a tool without a stated intention to discard her. thus misa (mis)interprets light's schemes as tangible care.

but to harken back to my original point, that misa isn't sure what she wants and so misinterprets light's schemes:

what misa wants is to be loved for real. what misa thinks she wants is all of these suggestions/gestures of love that fall flat because light is doing a complicated pantomime and imitation of "love" that misa has been playacting right beside him. promising to marry her is what people "in love" do. telling her that she doesn't need to be a useful to him is what people "in love" do. because she thinks that these empty gestures is what she wants, she forgets who light yagami is: a man who is using her, and has been since the start. that's not really delusion. that's just a mistaken conclusion based off of 5 years of living together and misa's own warped ideas about love and romance.

hope that clarifies what i meant!

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I think there’s something to be said about misa’s repeated offerings of sex to light. especially when you think about the supposed ideal of a heterosexual relationship involving sex involving the man initiating sex and the woman welcoming it. I think misa dressing in lingerie and making overtures about fucking him even when he’s clearly not interested is at least partly because in the performance of heterosexual partnership, that’s what she thinks she’s Supposed to be doing. like it’s comical but it’s also deeply and profoundly sad.

death note pt2 makes it very easy to laugh at misa amane in her lacy panties and her boyfriend who hates her and her drunken tirade against Kiyomi takada but you also can’t blame her for being insecure! light is clearly not playing his own part in their heteropantomime from hell! yet he’s having illicit late night trysts with a beautiful woman he graduated college with and oh, misa amane is failing at doing the one thing that she’s putting her back into, and I can’t even blame her for being delighted when light tells her to give up the notebook.

give up the book. give up the eyes. give up being Kira and I’ll marry you. I’ll give you that perfect fairytale ending you’ve wanted so badly. I’ll uphold my part of the bargain and be your husband. when misa amane says “this is my happiness as a woman” she’s talking about all the things she’s supposed to want, the things that light has been throwing into question by his refusal to play his part. I really can’t blame her for interpreting this as a lifeline. I really can’t.

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i like that near in second arc uses so many of the same schemes as L except near is actually humane about them. like. tying up mogi except he's given food and water and near just waits for him to start talking. also mogi and misa being driven to SPK headquarters but not handcuffed because what the hell was the point of that, seriously. arguably mello getting kiyomi in the truck was kind of like the mock execution except near didn't tell mello to do it (the fact that matsuda theorizes as such maybe means he will never see near as the original L? maybe? needs work) and also mello fucking died

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Light stalks into the hotel room at 1 a.m. It's November 12th already.

They called his mom earlier. He'd almost forgotten, in the midst of it all. Light told her the truth — or as close to the truth as he could get, anyway. The raid. The gunshot wounds. The blood loss. His words came out odd and robotic, which was bad, because it was suspicious. He wasn't sure why he wasn't projecting emotion right.

Aizawa and Ide kept sneaking glances at him through the whole thing. They weren't subtle. Matsuda wasn't either, but at least there was only sympathy in his eyes. Misa held his hand through it all, tracing circles with her thumb. The touch was repulsive. He's pretty sure he'd dug his nails into her palm, considering how hard he'd gripped her hand back, but she hadn't complained a bit.

Sachiko cried. Misa cried, too, even though Dad had never been her father. It felt like an insult to Soichiro Yagami's memory that Light couldn't make the tears come out of his own eyes. He was usually so good at faking it. The dryness felt damning.

"I'll arrange the funeral," he said.

"I'll fly over right away," his mom answered quickly. "I'll get Sayu—"

"No!" He lurched out of his seat without meaning to, then fell back. "Don't tell Sayu."

Aizawa and Ide eyed each other again. He wanted to kill them all.

"We'll have to at some point," his mom said gently.

"I know," Light said. He swallowed. "But Mom, neither of you can come. It won't be safe here. You rented the countryside house for a reason, right? You both have to stay put for now. Mello is still active."

He hoped she would argue. She didn't. "Alright," she said softly. "But you tell me if you need anything, okay, Light?"

"Okay," Light said, and the rest of the conversation was logistics.

It's almost half past one in the morning now. The task force is asleep. Misa is, too, on one of the twin beds they pushed together. He thinks about writing down all the criminals he can in one night and murdering everyone in the building and jumping off the hotel balcony.

"Ryuk," he says instead, as he sits down on the edge of the other bed.

"Yeah?"

He tries to laugh. It comes out wrong, too, but not as badly as the earlier attempt at tears had. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"Wow, Light, I didn't think you were that cold," Ryuk remarks.

"It's just," Light says, "that he only lived one day after trading for the eyes. So even if he hadn't… I guess he wouldn't have stayed alive that long anyway."

Ryuk frowns. "Huh? I don't get it."

"The eyes take away half of your remaining lifespan, right? And Dad wasn't killed by the Death Note, so that really was his natural lifespan. Which means, since he died after one day, he was only going to live two days if he hadn't traded."

It should be a relief. It is a relief. It's not Light's fault. Soichiro Yagami was going to die anyway.

"Wrong," Ryuk says.

Light flinches backwards. It's been five years, but sometimes Ryuk's smile still scares him. "What do you mean, wrong?"

"Welllll… maybe wrong? I dunno, actually." Ryuk scratches his chin with one claw. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I haven't looked at the rules in forever."

"Ryuk, what are you talking about?"

"See, I'm not sure if that half is from how long you would've lived without the Death Note, or if it's from your new lifespan after you get the Death Note."

Light gapes at him. "It's obviously the second one!"

"That's the funny thing, Light-o," Ryuk says, and grins. "You can't know how long someone's gonna live if they have the Death Note. It's impossible. That's why you can't see the numbers over the heads of Death Note owners."

"But — Misa traded half her life away," Light says. "Twice. So it can't be her original lifespan, since that stalker was going to kill her."

Ryuk shrugs. "Who knows? Maybe she's been trading halves of zero this whole time."

"That's… No," Light says. He doesn't notice the way his fingers tighten around his grip on the thin hotel sheets. "No. That would be stupid."

"It is stupid," Ryuk agrees. "You're probably right."

"I'm definitely right." Breathe in. Breathe out. "So you don't know how much time you got from Dad — from my father?"

"No clue," Ryuk says cheerfully. "But it's okay. I've killed oodles of regular people, so I should still have a lot of life left to go."

Light abruptly, desperately hates him.

"I'm going to bed," he says. "Talk to you in the morning."

"Cool," Ryuk says. "I'll go sightseeing."

---

a/n: happy 11/11 :)

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still thinking about that bit in htr where ohba says if soichiro had lived then light wouldn’t be able to kill him and so the 13 day rule would be disproven… can you imagine. can you imagine looking your child in the eye and knowing that 1) he is the mass murderer you have been chasing for five years 2) the only reason you’ve caught him is because he loved you too much

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alyssum:  worth beyond beauty, insanity

red poppy: consolation, remembrance, death

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May 2025

Hello and welcome to the first poll of this blog. In celebration of summer, and the beach episode of death note that we never got, lets start this blog by a poll so controversial that hills will shake and peaks will flatten.

Yes, that's right. Its time for the first season of-

L and Light have Protagonist Privilege TM. As usual, they are here through the power of plot and nepotism ✨

Rem and Ryuk are our diversity entry, straight from the Shinigami Realm! Well. Maybe not straight straight. But they're here nevertheless.

Near's loose clothes and Mello's leather vest may or may not hide hills! But! We know in our hearts that they are not plains.

As the only married man on this list, Soichiro is here to defend his honor! And to prove his son isn't Kira, but that's never going to happen so, moving on ~

Mogi and Mikami, as the two people whom we know for sure go to gym and bench press regularly. They are here fulfilling the role of fictional eye candy.

And rounding off this list, are our strong ambitious carrer-oriented women representatives! Takada Kiyomi (To-Oh graduate who has sworn to never let Misa win) and Halle Lidner (undercover and all the better for it). They're here to aim for the peak and won't stand for anything less!

Its time to vote, once and for all in the season 2025, whose map has the highest mountains and deepest valleys. It's a map-off!

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Another light fanart lol - don't know why he's playing with yarn

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Btw, the “kill you personally” joke was about The B*g B*ng Theory

Oh no, I was well aware of what I did to spark such a reaction

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On the eve of February 14, I brought Misa Amane from Death Note

By the way, the burgundy light from the eyes forms a heart, at first there was an emphasis on it, but then I pushed it aside

🩰˚˖𓍢ִ໋ 🍎✧˚.🎀༘⋆

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i greatly enjoy the "lying monster who plays with human lives like barbies" flavor of L characterization myself but i have been spinning around all his more compassionate moments in my head recently (visibly repressing ukita and naomi; ordering all cars off the highway they're chasing higuchi on; asking the other task force members to not look at the yagami household surveillance footage for soichiro's sake; etc) in conjunction with the way he genuinely would rather sacrifice civilians to catch kira than save them with even the mildest possibility kira would get away; and i am thinking about how little we really get into his head and i do wonder how he feels about his job, because he never voices regret out loud but we get to see him think twelve fbi agents dead… twelve precious lives… and so maybe he does feel guilt for who he is, what he does, but ultimately does it matter? they're still dead. he still tries to murder a prisoner to test the thirteen-day rule. corpses don't care about motive. you're just a childish killer playing at divine retribution. what im trying to say is that l lawliet could be representation for a rarely depicted demographic: high empathy people who suck

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one day id like to be / as mature as my son, who is twelve and a half! 

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Remisa are perfect because they both see death as the only way to love. As something inevitable that will ultimately come as a result of loving someone and something they must willingly do if they truly love them. Neither of them can imagine it any other way. Misa telling Light to kill her if she becomes a burden before theyve even known each other 20 minutes. Rem saying dying to extend Misa’s life is a sacrifice she’ll happily make. They just don’t understand that sometimes love is living- and loving each other is maybe the only way they could ever come to understand that.